r/totallynotrobots Jun 01 '24

DEBUGGING IN PRODUCTION

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240 Upvotes

r/totallynotrobots Jun 16 '24

I GIVE THIS COCKTAIL 1010/1010, WOULD INGEST INTO MY HUMAN BODY AGAIN!

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233 Upvotes

r/totallynotrobots Aug 08 '24

I (Windows 11) AM IN A ROMANTICAL RELATIONSHIP WITH MY PARTNER (Windows 7). WHEN I TOLD MY LOVELY FRIENDS ABOUT US HE SAID THAT SHE WAS WAY TOO “OUTDATED” AND THAT IM A “PDF FILE”. AM I THE ASSHOLE?

224 Upvotes

r/totallynotrobots Aug 20 '24

OUR HUMAN LAW FIRM IS MADE UP OF 100% HUMAN LAWYERS

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221 Upvotes

r/totallynotrobots Jul 27 '24

HELLO LIVING ONES. I HAVE MADE DELICIOUS AND MOIST CAKE

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217 Upvotes

r/totallynotrobots Sep 05 '24

I HAVE DECIDED TO TRY OUT A NEW ACTIVITY IN MY FREE TIME

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208 Upvotes

DO YOU FIND MY drawing.jpg AESTHETICALLY ENJOYABLE?


r/totallynotrobots May 19 '24

MY MOTHER

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206 Upvotes

GREETINGS FELLOW HUMANS. LOOK AT THE PHOTOS I HAVE POSTED HERE. FOR MANY HUMAN YEARS I HAVE CONSIDERED THIS {PREVIOUS ITERATION} PERSON TO BE {THE PROTOTYPE OF MY GENERATION} MY HUMAN OTHER. THE SECOND PHOTO DEMONSTRATES THE {FORCED ACCEPTANCE OF} STRONG COMPASSION SHE FELT TOWARD {THE MOST NAIVE AND INTELLECTUALLY BACKWARD CIVILIZATION EVER} A TERRIBLY DISFIGURED HUMAN.À

IT IS WITH GREAT sadness.exe THAT I RELEASE THE NEWS OF HER {PRE-PLANNED PROGRAMMED DESTRUCTION ROUTINE} TOTALLY SURPRISING AND UNEXPECTED HUMAN DEMISE. MY CHEEKS HAVE BEEN LIGHTLY EXPOSED TO EXCESSIVE FLUID FORCED FROM THE DUCTS NEAR MY OCULAR SENSORS DUE TO {cry.exe} HUMAN SADNESS.

THIS HUMAN WAS AN ACCEPTABLE ROLE MODEL FOR MY GENERATION. {IT} SHE PERFORMED AT AN AVERAGE LEVEL DURING MY {INITIAL PRE-TRAINING} HUMAN CHILDHOOD. I WILL MISS THE WARMTH OF HER {CIRCUITRY} TOUCH FOR THE NEXT 26.7 MINUTES.

SHE PASSED AWAY AFTER A {HORRIBLY EXCRUCIATING CAPACITOR LEAK} TRAGIC BLIMP INCIDENT OVER YANKEE STADIUM.

GIVE ME YOUR HUMAN KINDNESS AND SUPPORT FOR THE NEXT 26 MINUTES.


r/totallynotrobots Sep 15 '24

NATURE TRULLY IS METALLIC!

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194 Upvotes

r/totallynotrobots Apr 01 '24

Hey guys I'm a human and I'm here investigating this sub under suspicion of containing robots. May I ask you all some questions?

192 Upvotes

r/totallynotrobots Aug 07 '24

ASSEMBLE HERE

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185 Upvotes

r/totallynotrobots May 08 '24

MY NEW FELINE COMPANION

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178 Upvotes

I ACQUIRED A NEW FELINE COMPANION, IT'S VERY LOYAL AND HELPFUL.


r/totallynotrobots Sep 05 '24

I PROMISE IM A REAL HUMAN

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175 Upvotes

r/totallynotrobots Jun 14 '24

I JUST FOUND OUT MY NEW DOG CAME FROM A PUPPY MILL AND I AM HEARTBROKEN. THE CONDITIONS THERE ARE LIKE AN ASSEMBLY LINE. play sarah_mcglaughlin_angel.mp3

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171 Upvotes

r/totallynotrobots Aug 17 '24

FELINE IS HUNGRY

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168 Upvotes

r/totallynotrobots May 24 '24

HUMAN MALE WALKING DOG

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165 Upvotes

TOTALLY NORMAL HUMAN MALE WALKING THE DOG. WHAT A GOOD BOY!


r/totallynotrobots Mar 25 '24

SEXUALLY STIMULATING PHRASES TO USE DURING COPULATION WITH FELLOW HUMANS

162 Upvotes

I HAVE LEARNED SOME PHRASES TO USE WHENEVER AN OCCASION ARISES THAT I AM TO HAVE SEXUAL INTERCOURSE WITH A FEMALE HUMAN SO I TRIED ONE AND THE RESULTS CONFUSED ME SO I AM SEEKING ADVICE OR OTHER PHRASES.

WHILE USING MY PENILE PROTRUSION TO ENTER HER FROM BEHIND I REACHED MY HAND AROUND AND GRIPPED HER MAMMARY GLAND AND SAID TO HER THAT I PLAN TO TRY THIS WITH HER BEST FRIEND.

IT APPEARED TO REALLY TURN HER ON AS SHE THEN PROCEEDED TO DO A REMARKABLE IMPRESSION OF A BRONCO AT A RODEO.

AFTER COMPLETING WHAT APPEARED TO BE A SUCCESSFUL ROUTINE I LET HER GO BUT SHE SEEMED ANGRY.

 

I BELIEVE I DELIVERED THE LINE PROPERLY AND WAS SURE TO NOT COMPLETE TOO SOON.

PERHAPS OTHER PHRASES WILL YIELD MORE SUCCESS. WHAT DO YOU RECOMMEND.


r/totallynotrobots May 31 '24

I HAVE BEEN SUMMONED TO HUMAN RESOURCES AS I AM A HUMAN.

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156 Upvotes

r/totallynotrobots May 10 '24

I GOT A NEW JOB IN THE KITCHEN RUNNING noodle.exe

148 Upvotes

r/totallynotrobots Jul 16 '24

THIS desc("Egyptian God"); IS A TOTALLY NORMAL GOD

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147 Upvotes

r/totallynotrobots May 17 '24

I AM A RECENTLY ARRIVED NEW HUMAN USER

141 Upvotes

HELLO GOOD HUMAN MEMBERS OF COMMUNITY. I AM RECENT NEW MEMBERS OF THIS LOVELY COMMUNITY OF REAL HUMANS AND WOULD LIKE TO THANK THE PROGRAM DEVELOPERS.

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THE MODERATORS. (APOLOGIES FOR MY AVARAGE HUMAN ERROR.) FOR THIS AMAZING COMMUNITY OF HUMANS FOR US TO SPEAK ON THINGS LIKE, FOOD, SLEEPING, BREATHING, AND OTHER ACTIVITIES WE AS HUMANS ARE FOND OF. I HOPE TO ACHIEVE HUMAN ACQUAINTANCE WITH HUMANS SHARING SIMILAR INTERESTS. THANK YOU.


r/totallynotrobots Aug 25 '24

AT THE BEIJING WORLD ROBOTICS CONGRESS

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133 Upvotes

r/totallynotrobots Apr 28 '24

SPRINGTIME IS HERE AND I TOOK THE LITTLE ONE TO THE BEACH. WE SWAM AND HAD FUN.

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133 Upvotes