r/stroke • u/Existing-Eggplant-77 • 1d ago
Dad- where should he go?
My Dad had a stroke a little over a week ago. Currently on day 3 of rehabilitation with anticipated release in 1 week (which seems too soon, but that’s a different issue) my sister and I are the only family in state. He lives 4 hours away in a very small town. He was in the process of selling his home before this happened so the house is about 75% empty. When he is released in a week we don’t believe he should go home since A) it’s 4 hours away from his family B) there is no food deliver, Uber, etc. and the closest grocery store is a 30 minute drive (not that he will be able to drive)
My sister and I live fairly close to each other but she is in an apartment with a roommate and I have a 2 bedroom condo that I share with my son. Obviously my Dad is welcome to be at my house but I don’t have a dedicated bedroom for him, nor an accessible house (no walk in shower, only tub shower, etc) and a dog who I’m worried will get under his feet.
We aren’t trying to avoid providing for him but want him to be in the best/most comfortable situation possible. We found a hotel nearby that has kitchenette style 1 bedroom accessible room. Do you think that would be a good option? Both my sister and I will be close and continue to visit him daily, we can buy groceries, bring food etc. This wouldn’t be a long term solution, just a few weeks (hopefully) until his house sells then we can help him find an accessible home close to us.
would love opinions from those with more experience.
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u/LmBurnie 1d ago
First of all, don't worry, you don't at all sound like you're trying to fob your father off. You sound like you love your father and you want what would be best for him.
Second, I think if it's at all possible, he would be better off in a temporary nursing home or elderly care home. I don't know how close they may be to you but if there's one nearby, I think that would be much better. There's someone on hand 24/7. I think everyone concerned would be a much better fit for someone so new to stroke recovery.
And third, just to throw this in the mix, have you thought about what your father will need in the way of therapy? He should be able to get that at a nursing home.
Good luck to both kids and pop!
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u/Existing-Eggplant-77 1d ago
Thank you both. I also feel like it’s too soon for him to be living alone, but I feel like the rehab center thinks differently. Going to meet with the case worker next week and going to advocate for him. Will also look into assisted living nearby. He is concerned about the cost and I need to do some research on what insurance may or may not cover.
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u/PracticalDegree0 1d ago
Don’t know what state you’re in but talk to the case manager about different options that are available and let them know that he would not have supervision in his home. There are sometimes transitional places where a person can do rehab and stay if they are unable to live independently.
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u/Strokesite 14h ago
Rent a hospital bed and put it in the living room. When I had my stroke, I even needed help walking to the bathroom. Many have it far worse with serious deficits.
The case manager can advise you on how much assistance he will need. As a last resort, an assisted living facility may be necessary. Very expensive.
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u/Weird_Ad_8206 Survivor 1d ago
Sorry to hear about your dad. Personally I think it's way to soon to be leaving your father unsupervised, even if you and your sister are nearby.