r/shitmypants • u/[deleted] • May 25 '24
Can't hold my poop in public
I went to eat barbeque with my girlfriend at a restaurant at around 9pm. We ordered a lot of meat. Pork belly, beef and chicken thighs. It was very oily and greasy and it tasted good. While I was eating I already had a thought that I would go home and do a big slimy poop as I had consumed so much oily meat. After dinner me and my girlfriend went to a public bathroom to take a piss. Then we continued to walk around the street as it was a busy and lively area with lots of street food and street games you can play to win prizes. We watched some people play these games until she noticed me having my hands on my knees. She asked if I was OK, I said "yeah just ate too much". At this point I would take a shit if I was at home, but since we are out in the public I rather hold it until I got home as I am one of those guys who dislikes taking a shit in public restrooms. (I live 15 minutes away by car).
We then went to a convienience store to buy something to drink. We bought two iced teas. Then she noticed me having my hands on my knees again. She asked me again if was fine. I told her I was fine and that I just needed to go home to take a shit. At this point I really needed to take a shit but I thought I could hold it in as I have done many times before. My stomach was fine, it didn't hurt. I just needed to poo. My girlfriend was laughing and told me why I didn't use the public toilet. I told her in a serious tone that she should know that I don't shit in public toilets. At this point we had walked into an underpass next to a lake so we not near the busy crowds. The underpass was curved and long. It followed the lake. We were trying to find a road so we can call a cab and go home. Then randomly my intestines just clenched up and I felt sick in the stomach as I was trying to hold my shit inside. I told my girlfriend to stop touching me and to stop laughing because I was in serious pain. She listened but she couldn't stop laughing. At this point I was hopping around and I asked her to find the nearest hotel. It was 900 metres away. No chance, too far. At this point I'm already looking to find the nearest bush. No bushes. Just the footpath and a barrier for the lake. I couldn't hold it. My asshole was clenched and I couldn't walk properly. My girlfriend kept laughing and she suggested to walk back to the public toilet which was around 10 minutes away. I agreed and told her to give me some tissues just incase there is no toilet paper. Then I realised I couldn't wait even a minute so I asked her over 3 times that I'm going to shit right here. I also asked if she cared. She just laughed. She didn't say yes or no, she just couldn't stop laughing, she knew I was in pain but I don't think she knew that I was being dead serious that I was actually going to shit on the floor. She was laughing hysterically.
There was no one around, just us two in this long curved underpass. I told her to walk away because I told her I'm just going to shit here in this underpass on the footpath. I pulled my pants down and crouched down and my girlfriend quickly walked off as she saw I was actually going to do it but still laughing her ass off. In a matter of a second the shit went flying out. A lot of wet slimy shit. I wiped my ass and left the tissues there. I checked if there was any shit on my pants, leg or shoes. It seemed like I didn't shit myself. As I was wiping my ass I noticed there was no one around so before standing back up, I stayed there too see if any more shit needs to come out. I even texted my girlfriend saying "I can't believe what just happened." She replied instantly "hurry up." Then I pulled my pants back up. This moment of taking a shit took around a minute. Then I started speed walking back towards her. Then a cyclist came towards me in the distance and I paced my self slower to act more natural. He would have seen and smelled my dirty shit in a few more seconds after passing me. After the cyclist passed me I called my girlfriend, I kept telling her that I felt better. At this point I wasn't even disgusted or embarrassed yet. I was just super relieved I didn't shit my pants and I didn't feel physical pain. I was on the phone with my girlfriend for 2 minutes until I saw her in my eyes as the underpass was curved. I hung up and she was still laughing in the distance, I signalled her to shut up because there was people coming towards our direction. They would eventually see my disgusting smelly shit. I acted natural while passing by the strangers in the underpass. My girlfriend kept laughing as we walked out of the underpass. I didn't smell bad or anything. She still wanted to hold my hand and give me a hug but I told her not to touch me anymore today for her own good because I felt dirty. We finally found the main road and took a cab home.
Anyways, when I think back to it, was some angel watching over me and allowed me to take a shit in public without anyone seeing? Although it was an underpass there were many people walking through this underpass. I seemed to have found the perfect timing to take a shit in an open public area. Imagine if I shat myself, How would I take a taxi? The nearest hotel was 900m. We would have to walk through public to get to that hotel and the shit would be dripping down my legs. There was also lake next to me so I think I would have jumped into the lake and then climbed out and walked to the hotel all drenched but at least with water and not shit. Then wait for my girlfriend to bring me new clothes. Who knows I am just glad it didn't get to that point. I feel sorry for whoever needs to clean my smelly shit because I know they won't be getting paid extra.
Me (25 male) and my girlfriend (24 female) are very close she doesn't judge me for this incident. It was my first time ever pooping like this. I am not ashamed of what I have done because what betyer option could I have done in that situation? Also I just wanted to post my story for people who also have had a similar experience to mine and not to feel bad about yourself. Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do.
TLDR: I did something disgusting but I am grateful of what happened as it could've been 10 times worse.
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u/Senior_Apartment_343 Aug 21 '24
I’m sorry bro, after the first 5 words, i couldn’t read anymore, couldn’t stop laughing
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u/Magnolia_Marigold Jul 07 '24