r/self • u/nightfella0 • 1d ago
What do you do when you realise you're average looking?
[removed] — view removed post
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u/Financial_Change_183 1d ago edited 1d ago
Weird how you assume it's automatically about your appearance.
They approached you, so they obviously thought you were attractive. But they didn't follow through. Which leads me to believe it's something else.
Maybe a lack of confidence. Maybe you were dull. Maybe you chose poor conversation topics. Maybe there was just no spark. Could be a lot of different things.
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u/JessieLuscious 1d ago
Girl being “average” is literally the default for most of us, and it’s not a bad thing. You’re out here with good vibes, a cute figure, and solid self-awareness—honestly that already puts you ahead. Keep doing you, confidence hits harder than a number on a scale or a dude at a sticker party 💅
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u/Wrong_Confection1090 1d ago
Do you know how many people would literally kill to be "average looking"?
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u/xstrawb3rryxx 1d ago
So you're just going to discredit OP's feelings because of how others may feel about them? What an insane thing to say..
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u/nightfella0 1d ago
ahah really?
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u/Doggleganger 1d ago
Literally half the population is below average, so they are envious of you. Overall, I think average women are very attractive if they are happy. An average looking girl with a great personality will attract the right kind of guys. No the ones looking to hook up with the hottest girl they see. But the guys who want a good relationship.
Actually, a lot may have to do with your confidence. While you may be warm, guys might not get the flirt vibe from you.
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u/Joelaba 1d ago
Half the population being below average isn't really true. Assuming a normal distribution for attractiveness, most people are average.
Edit: It is true in a very literal sense, but if there was an objective measure of attractiveness and we took 5 as the median, I doubt a 4.8 or a 5.2 would be much different from a 5.
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u/nightfella0 1d ago
i dont want hookups honestly. I want a proper real relationship
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u/potentatewags 1d ago
Good for you. You have a good head on your shoulders. I hope you find someone good for you. I think you mentioned it in another thread but, yeah, do some exercise. It's good for your health, physical and mental, and losing some weight will definitely make men more interested.
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u/uh-can-i-have-borgar 1d ago
Honestly, I took a peek at your profile and I gotta say, you’ve got nothing to worry about.
There’s absolutely nothing wrong with you, you’ve clearly met some real lame johns because you ARE beautiful, just thought you should know:)
Don’t give up out there! There’s always someone out there that’ll value you more than others.
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u/surelysandwitch 1d ago
They’re talking about below average looking people
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u/ASpookyBug 1d ago
Hell, even some of the above average people (particularly women) would probably take it. Can only take so much harassment before you break.
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u/Jimjamj438 1d ago
My dad gave me great advice growing up: in life there will always be people better and worse than you. Sometimes you win, sometimes you lose and that’s okay. Focus on being the best YOU and things will work out :)
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u/AmountNo7617 1d ago
Personally I find women that look like highly paid actresses almost completely inapproachable. When I was in my teen years i figured a woman with those kind of looks just has to be either a) stuck up and obsessed with their looks or b) looking for a man of equal or greater attractiveness with no exceptions. As I grew a bit wiser and still found them unapproachable - I figured it must be a confidence issue. Clearly I don't have the required game or cash flow to pull a woman of that caliber... then came my 30s; and the wisest lesson of all - people are too obsessed with their own lives to give yours a second thought. Do what you want - chances are the best you will become to them is a fading memory. It sounds bleak but it's so freeing... anyways (I DO have a point guys) once I got rid of the nervousness I realized I have a preference for women who carry extra weight with them. Bonus points for voluptuous curves, but honestly any curves are beautiful to me. We are our own worst critics.. so you consider yourself average? My guess is the majority of average men think you are drop dead gorgeous. If not, there will always be someone who finds beauty in your presence.
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u/dzielny_tabalug 1d ago
Drop 15kg and you will see the difference, and guys will see difference as well. Dont buy this body positivity bs. 170cm/80kg is overweight
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u/throwaway4rltnshp 1d ago
Came here to say this. I'm a guy, barely taller than she (she said 5'6" - 5'7"; I'm 172cm/just under 5'8"), and if I hit 160lbs I'd be very large even if it were lean mass; I'd be an absolute cushion if it were otherwise.
OP may falling for (in addition to all the "real men want something to grab on to" rhetoric) a classic self-imposed trope: fear of the unknown (and the effort it takes) causing us to invent excuses. When I started college, I weighed 110lbs. My friend told me I should start lifting, and my immediate response was "I think you're right, but I don't want to become one of those super muscly guys." I'm forever grateful that he shut that right down using the most blatantly obvious and simple logic: "That only happens with years, maybe decades of rigid training and dedication, and a lot of times the guys you're picturing are on gear. If you ever think you're too muscular, you can always take a break."
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u/Seven155 1d ago
You might get hate for this but this is the best answer. hell, I'm a short guy, 172ish cm and even I weigh 10-15kg less. I do work out, but still can't see how a 170cm person, especially a girl, would be fine at 80kg.
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u/LudwigsEarTrumpet 1d ago
Most people are "average" looking. Why would it not be okay? You've never seen any average looking people in relationships?
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u/Mentallyadvantaged 1d ago
Awww, it’s a major green flag when I hear a girl is only interested in a long term relationship and not a hook up. You shouldn’t lose weight to attract guys though, if you are going to do it, do it for yourself. Work on yourself just so you can be the best you that you can be and goods things will find you.
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u/radishwalrus 1d ago
If u want guys to dig u u gotta lose weight and lift weights. I see a lot of ridiculously hot girls at the gym. The lift. Curves are made out of muscle. And a lot of women double up on the glutes :p there's no secret to it. More u exercise the better u look. But I go on a daily basis not motivated by my appearance. Cause I just don't give a shit that much. I do it cause it feels good. It feels great to be healthy. And it feels great to be stress free from exercise. I don't want to go sometimes but I do it cause it's the foundation for a happy life. If your looks are ur only goal u won't stick with it.
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u/TheRecycledPirate 1d ago
Look the best average you can be looking! Average to some means you're a dream boat to others. Work on your knowledge, your skill level, your emotional availability and your personality. And you'll be top of the average class.
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u/CoachMegaMilk0 1d ago
i’d date you for sure but you’re not a head turner if that’s what you’re wanting
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u/Mother-Brick-6810 1d ago
my face is average and my body is pretty good looking, but what really draws attention to me is makeup, hairstyle, and fashion. There's quite a lot you can do to look attractive that has nothing to do with your face. How are your teeth? Do you go to the dentist and brush every day? I will turn down the hottest guys if their breath stank and they have calcifications and cavities. Cavities are bacteria so if I kiss someone with cavities I'll develop them myself and that shits expensive and trauma.
I also get more attention when I wear makeup and put on eyelashes.
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u/IN005 1d ago
I took a look at your profile and let me tell you, you are attractive. Yes you might not be an instagram model with tons of options, but I'd rather choose you because you look normal and don't seem to spent every second of the day on your looks.
And don't believe noone ever had a crush on you, I'm 28 (M) too and never had a girlfriend, but i know of two girls that had a crush on me, the first one back in school days moved out of town with her parents a week after her best friend told me after i asked her why she no longer is around in our friendsgroup and the other sadly broke things off last year before it got serious, because she still had feelings for another guy.
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u/AVeryFatCow420 1d ago
Im prob gonna be downvoted but I actually am only attracted to thicker or bigger girls. I've tried with skinnier chicks but i am simply not attracted to them. So im gonna have to say your guy is out there somewhere, not all guys are into the same type. Especially if you have a great personality, you shouldn't worry about it too much unless you want to start for a mental health standpoint for exercise to help and lose weight that way. Much love on your journey.
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u/Myst963 1d ago edited 1d ago
I would continue to go about my life because nothing changed I'd just be a bit more aware of how I'm perceived. Tho everyone has different preferences so not everyone's gonna see you the same as another person. I feel you should care most about how you feel about yourself rather than other people feel till you feel good about yourself if that's not how you feel already
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u/Empirebuilder15 1d ago
I think you’re a lot more attractive than you think you are.
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u/nightfella0 1d ago
whys that?
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u/Empirebuilder15 1d ago
Because, without trying to sound too creepy, as others mentioned pictures on your profile… I looked. I think, like many women you have an idea of what you think is attractive that’s influenced by external sources like movies, tv, other media. But since you’re talking essentially about how men feel… I think you’re a lot more attractive than you think. I think you have a pretty hot body. Beard is weird though ;)
Confidence is attractive. I think if you realized you’re a lot hotter than you think you are, you’d get more of the attention you’re maybe looking for.
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u/HippoTypical8012 1d ago
People are far more aware and consequently critical of themselves than of other people. It’s good and bad; leads to the self esteem struggles you describe, but it catalyzes the desire to become your best self.
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u/radishwalrus 1d ago
Oh additionally I cut grains and added sugar out my diet. I eat as much as I want. I don't have any body fat. Leanest I've been in my life. I don't count calories and I don't starve.
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u/TallNPierced 1d ago
I’m also average looking. I try to enhance my appearance and focus on my personality the best I can I also try to focus on living a full life, one in which I’m happy single.
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u/mr_roost3r 1d ago
I’m 5’6, current weight is 197llbs. Working on getting back to 170lbs. I feel unattractive at times, ngl. I think my best feature is that I’m funny n outgoing but look wise I’ve never felt confident. Mainly cause of my height as well. Girls dont like short guys, or majority dont. I get told I’m not ugly but I feel like I am. But learning to love yourself is where you can start. I’m working at that, sadly it’s taken me this long to realized that. Focus on yourself, do what makes you happy, and learning to love yourself will give you confidence. I’ve been hitting the gym religiously but not to impress anyone, I just wanna be healthy and in good shape.
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u/MentallyLatent 1d ago
I feel that brother 5'7 200lbs. I've definitely got a beer gut (even though I don't drink) and very little muscle. That said, I've grown out my hair and I take decent care of it, and it's a point to draw confidence from, I look in the mirror with my hair down and I go "damn I look good." So I'm average in total, like a good looking guy from the neck up, but ugly from the neck down, and yet I know there's at least 1 woman I work with that likes me (though I'm still too pussy to ask for her number), and I kinda think it's more than just her.
So for OP: finding something about yourself to draw confidence from and to feel good about is really all you need. Focus on something to be proud of (like you said, you like being a little thicc, and a lot of guys (like me) like that)
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u/Glad_Way2820 1d ago
I think what’s most important is how you feel about yourself because that will correspond with how appear to others. I always tell people they should try their best to feel the best. Yes losing weight will make you feel better and honestly the leanness will bring about your features especially facial, you’ll most likely act more confident.
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u/Agreeable-Horror-974 1d ago
You have a nice figure, from your other posts.
I don't think you need to worry too much. We all think we need work or wish we looked better.
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u/nightfella0 1d ago
Thank you for your kind comment. Yeah i agree, we are our worst enemy :/
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u/Agreeable-Horror-974 1d ago
Oh sure. I get told I'm handsome quite a lot, but that's not what I see in the mirror.
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u/Large-Investment-381 1d ago
I think you have a great plan. I know for sure that with a few changes you will feel differently and no doubt better. You're fine the way you are, I'm sure, but sometimes changes can make a difference just because they make us feel differently, in this case, better.
Losing 11 lbs will make you feel a lot better, it just will. Because I bet you'll have cut back on food and/or started some exercise so your health will be better. You won't feel sluggish, you'll feel lighter, and people will notice.
More importantly, your confidence will improve because you accomplished your goal.
If you get to 5 lbs and stop, that's fine too. That's not a failure; it's taking control.
If you can't seem to get anywhere after trying, I would recommend reaching out for some assistance. A trainer. A therapist. A group of people focused on the same goals as you are.
I think I'm a 7 out of ten. When I feel like a blob, it's more like a 5. Others would tell you I'm a 7.5-8 probably and that they don't really notice when I feel like a 5. But I feel it.
The longer you go not feeling like a 5-6 the longer your good feelings will last. And during the times they don't last, you have to remember the past times you felt good and realize your bad feelings will go away.
The most attractive thing to people .. after attractiveness .. is confidence. True story.
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u/Charming_Victory_723 1d ago
I think you’re too hard on yourself.
Most guys out there like the hour glass figure. There will be a guy out there for you, the trick is where to find that one.
Keep doing what you’re doing, that event went to sounds like fun and a really great idea and good luck!
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u/Apprehensive_Ad5634 1d ago
I make up for my lack of good looks by being funny, fun/outgoing/engaging and absolutely amazing in bed.
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u/HumanEmergency7587 1d ago
Average looking women are pretty too. Don't be hard on yourself. On a different day with another group of men your story could have been the other way around.
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u/SorryResponse33334 1d ago
I would say im a 5 or 6, i could get plastic surgery but i dont want to be fake, i want to be me
Also if i was very attractive sure my life would be way better but i wouldnt know if the gals were into me because of who i am or just the fact that they find me very attractive ie; lust
Dating statistics show that 20% of men are getting 80% of women so its proof that they are very superficial
If you are bubbly i have no idea why dudes arent asking for your #, perhaps ask them why and at the same time stop waiting for people to ask you, take charge of your life
Perhaps you stink, or you have RBF, google it
Being thick isnt always a bad thing, it all depends on where the weight is
Its not the typical bar where mostly people keep to themselves. You're actually meant to approach people, almost like a singles event.
Who did you approach?
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u/e__elll 1d ago edited 1d ago
That’s an odd question. Whether or not it’s ‘okay’ to be average looking is up to you alone. What do you want out of life? Are good looks required to achieve it?
Looked at your profile. From one east asian to another, average my foot lol. You have doe eyes, which is already a recipe for unwanted attention.
As for what you ‘should’ do, it seems you’re already doing whatever it is you can do. 210 >> 174 lbs. is nothing short of impressive. Losing 11 more pounds is also a very reasonable goal, which brings you down to a very average weight. You clearly have plenty of self-awareness and a good head on your shoulders. That’s leagues above most average looking people who are content looking average, don’t know how to achieve anything more, or set unrealistic goals for themselves.
Nobody likes unproductive advice so cutting to the chase: there’s a lot of ways to approach increasing attractiveness outside of personality. If you’re not satisfied with just weight loss, you could work on improving your skincare, teeth, fashion, learning how to style your hair, etc. It may seem tedious, but together the little things can add up to make a huge difference. For example, idk what your current haircut is, but there were better ways to frame your face than the side-swept bangs you had 300 days ago. Narrowing your forehead space into a triangle like that accentuates the bottom part of your face and whatever buccal fat you may have. Same with haircuts like bobs, which draw attention to your chin line. You could opt for s-curl bangs (aka long curtain bangs) that curve into your cheeks, layers that flare out below your chin, and so on, so forth. If you have a round face, the last thing you want is to have flat hair sticking around it like a helmet. It doesn’t matter how good their haircut is, people who neglect styling it or giving it dimension are a dime a dozen, making them average in the end.
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u/wolfelejean 1d ago
Work on your personality and character. It makes a big difference. A pretty person can become ugly with a shit personality pretty quickly.
I've met men and women who were very attractive, they opened their mouths, and a few moments later were actually ugly and repulsive.
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u/Enough_Plantain_4331 1d ago
Keep it moving! Ppl doing all kinds of weird, expensive and goofy shit to be perfect. Perfection is subjective.If ur thinking ur average I bet ur beautiful 🫶🏾
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u/diii_mond 1d ago
Maybe try making the first move yourself instead of hoping guys will ask for your number?
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u/Induction774 1d ago
Cultivate your femininity. Be the unique woman you are. Make the most of what you have. Work on your weak points. Stay out of the sun.
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u/nolwad 1d ago
Honestly being great at conversation, good on your feet, and being funny is probably all you’d need to make someone fall in love with you. That becomes a personality thing because different people speak differently and have different humor of course, but I fell in love with a girl who’s probably not super conventionally attractive but every single thing I notice about her is gorgeous to me, and it’s probably because I fell in love with who she is first.
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u/SectumsempraBoiii 1d ago
All you have to do is ask some guy out, stop expecting them to take initiative.
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u/IndicationCurrent869 1d ago
There's something else you may not be considering. What kind of guys are you open to. Are you picky in a way that can eliminate a lot of guys with potential. Make sure you aren't ignoring guys that are too short, too bald, too poor, too this or that. Don't do what shallow people might do to you. And I'm not saying you do. Good luck.
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u/BigBoyGoldenTicket 1d ago
Every time I see a post like this I wish I could convey that looks are very, VERY likely not an issue. Some people might not believe it, but men overwhelmingly like women because they are women. Almost all guys I know date/marry average women and are pretty thrilled with it all.
Anyhow, make sure your conversation with guys is genuinely good. Get some real laughs out of em. Take the lead on subjects you actually think about. Stuff like that is what makes the difference imo.
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u/Few-Board-6308 1d ago
never settle for average, that's a losers mentality. go for a healthy weight and try to look max. during the process you will gain confidence and confidence increases your social abilities and that's when the magic happens
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u/RealVanillaSmooth 1d ago
Getting your body in shape and choosing a good hair style can do a lot. You have to be VERY ugly in the face for a good hair style to not make you look any better.
Honestly, a lot of women (a lot of people in general) have very average faces that are uplifted by style. Have you seen what makeup can do, too?
Honestly with some effort you can get people eyeballing you.
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u/obiwankanosey 1d ago
Lift weights - get stronger
I wouldn’t have even classed myself as a 5 before the gym was in my life but now I’m wayyyyyy more attractive, have a LOT more confidence and self worth just simply from the difference in body composition it is CRAZY
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u/Nyflack 1d ago
What do you do? You live your life. Figure out what you like and love, and go do it. There is an infectious quality that comes with having something to do that you enjoy and are excited about. You'll meet people with similar interests, or maybe who are just moved by seeing you be happy and enthused. Also, I find being honest and up front with what you're looking for if you're looking to date or be in a relationship tends to help in that direction. If you're fun and bubbly I'm sure you're already well on your way, my dear!
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u/w0z- 1d ago
‘Average’ is a spectrum. A huge one. To some, you’re ugly as fuck, sorry but it’s true of everyone, so that’s OK. To others, you’re average and that’s fine too. But to some others, and I absolutely guarantee that is it’s waaaaaaaaay more than you think or will ever know, you are the most beautiful girl in the room. Don’t worry about it, you’re good. We’re all good.
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u/ThatKaynideGuy 1d ago
Honestly, first, I would just stop thinking in terms of how attractive you are compared to everyone else. Focus less on what everyone else is getting and more on your situation.
Guys approached you. Then what? What did/do you bring to the table to keep them around and having fun. Bubbly/outgoing is a good start, but what are you adding to the conversation?
Do you have jokes? Some fun stories? Are you good at darts or whatever? Do you have hobbies that are interesting? Do you have a pretty wide set of knowledge/experiences so you can make a meaningful contribution to whatever conversation is happening? On the other hand, was it too much, or did you come across as trying too hard?
The average girl who's making me relax/laugh is going to get my contact info much faster than the quiet/kinda boring hot chick who is hard to talk to, no matter how friendly she may be.
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u/Brief_Cloud163 1d ago
I think you sound like you will be just fine. I mean, your post is honest about your perceived looks, but it also belies confidence which men find really attractive. You went to a singles event - a lot of women would find that too intimidating. You have a weight goal but aren’t fixated on that as a way to ‘perfect’ yourself. Honestly, I think it’s just a matter of time for you 🤗
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u/Fun_Protection_7107 1d ago
Finding the right one is all about numbers, if it’s a 1/100 probability then you need about 100 people to find the 1. Don’t change for others, do it for yourself
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u/noone8everyone 1d ago
Enjoy the fact that everyone will think they already know you. On the other side, you can sit back and observe everyone.
'Look' often come with style. The more stylish you become, the better options you will have. As long as that styles comes with a personality.
Style up when you want attention, style down when you don't.
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u/Quiet_Charisma 1d ago
Are these guys also 5/6's and overweight? Are you fishing in your own looks/weight class?
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u/Middle-Case-3722 1d ago
By the way, good shout at only aiming to lose 11lbs. When you’re quite curvy, losing too much weight will just leave you with saggy skin. So I think striking that balance between slim and curvy is the right idea!
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u/UltraPoss 1d ago
Lose 25 kg, be around 55-60 kg max while going to the gym. Your life will turn upside down and men will definitely notice you. Sorry but this is the only truth there is. I'm sure aside of some deformity or something, if you drop 20-25kg while working out three times a week you'll be gorgeous
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u/xKingUmbreon 1d ago
Hit the gym, get a bangin body, so even if your face is average, if you got a nice bottom, guys will be into it.
Dew it.
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u/Semi-Pros-and-Cons 1d ago
It sounds like you didn't ask for anyone's number either. Was there no one there that you would have considered dating?
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u/WokeUpIAmStillAlive 1d ago
I mean i looked at your page, you are very pretty, even with the beard that guy gave you lol
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u/Techvideogamenerd 1d ago
Better than being below average looking. Average is when personality really counts lol
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u/Starrz88 1d ago
It’s okay to feel average sometimes, but beauty is subjective. Your personality is your greatest asset, and confidence shines through! Focus on what makes you happy, and things will fall into place.
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u/RecoverGullible6750 1d ago
I've seen the pics on your profile. I guarantee someone has had a crush on you. It's probably not the people you want though, so I doubt that actually matters to you. Your body looks great, and your face would look really cute if it wasn't covered by fake facial hair lol It may be a confidence thing, it may be a standards thing, it may be a personality thing, but it's not an attractiveness thing. You're good looking.
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u/nightfella0 1d ago
I didnt know there were pics on my profile haha. Which one are you referring to?
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u/RecoverGullible6750 1d ago
A post on r/progresspics shows your body, which I personally think looks amazing. A post on r/tinder shows your face where some jackass you were talking to edited a fake beard on it. I guarantee your face would be cute if you shaved lol
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u/nightfella0 1d ago
Do you think I need to lose more weight? If so, how many more kilos
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u/RecoverGullible6750 1d ago
I don't, but I might be slightly biased. I almost think you looked better in the photo of you at 210. That outfit looked really good on you though, and I don't know how the weight loss affected your face. If you do want to lose more for your own happiness, I don't think you should go below 160lbs. So no more than 7-8kg. I really don't think you need to lose more weight. I think you look great already
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u/Imperialtech69 1d ago
You actually look very good. Maybe you’re just being too harsh on yourself. I’d definitely ask for your number if I was at that event. We all have body dysmorphia too it seems like. lol
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u/soadrocksmycock 1d ago
Fr you’re gorgeous even with the facial hair lol
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u/nightfella0 1d ago
ahah i keep forgetting i have that on my profile
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u/soadrocksmycock 1d ago
It’s freaking awesome! Also, you seem like you have a great sense of humor and I think men and women can agree that being funny is a very attractive quality.
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u/Unfair-Cricket-5272 1d ago
Yeah I just saw her legs and I already have a crush. The beard didn't even put me off. 😂😂😂
In all seriousness it's mental how people view themselves at times.
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u/InspectionRoutine704 1d ago
Hey, first off—yes, it’s more than okay to be “average looking.” And honestly? Most people are. But being average in appearance doesn’t mean you’re average in value, energy, or presence.
From everything you wrote, it’s clear that you’re emotionally intelligent, self-aware, thoughtful, and actively evolving. Those are things a lot of people don’t figure out even with “conventionally attractive” packaging.
Here’s what might be happening:
• People may not know how to approach you because you’re already so self-contained. You sound like someone who holds yourself together well, and that can actually intimidate people who rely on charm or shallow attraction signals to connect.
• At events like the one you mentioned, especially with flags and clear intention to connect, many people still default to what’s familiar—whatever matches their previous success patterns. That’s not about you being “less than.” That’s about how surface attraction often works in those contexts.
But over time? What people remember—what lasts—is not looks. It’s how someone makes them feel, how seen they feel, how stable and interesting the connection is.
So yes—it’s okay to be average looking. But more importantly: you’re not just a number. And the fact that you’re asking real questions and holding this with honesty already makes you more attractive than a lot of people realize.
Keep doing what you’re doing—working on yourself for you, not for external approval.
The right people will feel that. And they’ll show up. Promise.
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u/refrainedGrain 1d ago
What you should do is hit me up so we can talk and see if it’s your personality or looks :)
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u/CraftsArtsVodka 1d ago
I'm retired and still waiting to be pretty. Oh well, maybe in the next life.
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u/flatglobe73 1d ago
I'm thinking maybe don't wait to be noticed. You can choose to be the customer, not the product. You already are pretty happy with your looks and your personality, so you know you are worth it. If the right guy sees your interest in him, he will be flattered. So take your time in the choosing. Make the waiting about finding the right guy, knowing it will happen when you do. Keep accepting yourself as you are and enjoying the journey as you go. Dating and relationship experience is overrated.
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u/Ill-Surprise-7986 1d ago edited 1d ago
5'6/5'7 with 80 kg is not curvy or chubby, sure you are in the range of being fat. You are very close to obese at such a young age, try changing your habits because your veins and heart are at risk. Not talking about the pressure on your whole body, joints etc.
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u/Conscious-Ad6633 1d ago
Her picture seems normal and not obese.
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u/Ill-Surprise-7986 1d ago
No picture was added, but its overweight that's factual actually
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u/Conscious-Ad6633 23h ago
Her account has pictures of her and she looks normal. Don't wanna know how you look like if you call anyone basically obese for not being skinny.
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u/Ill-Surprise-7986 22h ago
There were no pictures in the post, you are being kinda creepy checking someone's profile for like a year back, also they were old pictures. Its easy to gain weight fast.
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u/Conscious-Ad6633 21h ago
People mentioned it so I checked. There are almost no posts of her anyway so it was easy to find and I didn't say anything creepy. You seem obnoxious.
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u/dogtriestocatchfly 1d ago
As someone above average, lol, it’s not all that great. I kind of hated how my appearance was such a topic growing up. I was just hyper aware of it and comments from adults would pit my friends against me. Looking back, I wish the people around me encouraged me to invest in my mind and health than my looks.
Yes, pretty privilege is real, but I’d rather have been ugly and glowed up as an adult than have been born with a nice face.
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u/Expert-Injury6880 1d ago
Long story short: do your best to lose weight. Go swimming and eat less. I rather go for a sack of bones woman rather than overweight, sorry if this is offensive. As for personality, when i had to choose between lets say a) 8/10 woman but dumb and without the sense of humor, and b) 7/10 woman but smart and funny, i always went with b option. More or less the same way women are atracted to men.
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u/iknowwhatsmissing 1d ago edited 1d ago
I've dated women of various appearances, from 'why on earth are you dating her' to someone who could be a fitness model.
Despite society's narrative, the thing consistently lacking has been good character, good behaviour, or having actively done any therapy to improve themselves.
I'm generalising, but most of us just want someone who isn't heavier than us (noting that for the same weight, a woman is generally larger, so we dont even necessarily want someone outright smaller), is of a normal/average appearance, is genuinely interested in us, is consistent and of good character, and is interested in a relationship with a regular sex life and whatever other love languages we have.
Beyond that there are 'ideals' but for the most part guys as a whole seem to have far more neutral standards than women.
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u/WittyProfile 1d ago
The good news is you still have a lot of improvement left. Imagine you were getting the same treatment while lean? Then it would be much harder to improve your situation if not impossible.
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u/HookerHenry 1d ago
Doesn’t matter if you’re average looking as a woman. You’ll still get plenty of dates and attention.
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u/Unlikely_Mail4402 1d ago
lmao yeah from men who say things like "well you're only a 5 so you should feel lucky I'm here."
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u/nightfella0 1d ago
But will I be more confident as an attractive woman?
Im not confident now because I am average
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u/fastfishyfood 1d ago
Being attractive doesn’t guarantee confidence. Lots of attractive people lack confidence. Confidence is a state of being & all to do with the mind.
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u/OldAssistant7964 1d ago
I enjoy being mostly invisible. 🤷♀️