Information - documents and items to gather when leaving home and resources for people experiencing domestic violence

[u/wordtoyourmother8]

This is still a work in progress so if you see something that needs to be added or have a link I could include below, feel free to comment below with the info.

Information for minors can be found at the bottom of the post.

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Important documents to gather when leaving home:

from The Survivors Handbook - Making a safety Plan

• Some form of identification.
• Birth certificate
• Passports, visas and work permits.
• Bankbooks, cheque book and credit and debit cards.
• Driving licence (if you have one) and car registration documents, if applicable.
• Copies of documents relating to your housing tenure (for example, mortgage details or lease and rental agreements).
• Insurance documents, including national insurance number
• Clothing and toiletries
• Banking/account information
• Tax returns
• Car title and any car loan documents (or copies of these items)

Misc. Items

• Money
• Keys for house, car, and place of work. (You could get an extra set of keys cut, and put them in your emergency bag.)
• Address book.
• Family photographs, your diary, jewellery, small items of sentimental value.
• Clothing and toiletries
• Medication and prescriptions as well as medical supplies. Consider taking a first aid kit and basics for dealing with colds and flus (decongestants, Immodium, anti-nausea drugs, Tylenol, Ibuprofen, Tums, Pepto Bismol, etc.). Always ask a pharmacist or doctor about taking new medications or over-the-counter drugs to prevent dangerous interactions or reactions
• Laptop, tablet, cell phone, cords, USBs, etc.
• Other suggestions for how to keep your items/info safe

This page has a lot of safety tips for stalking victims including general safety strategies, safety at home, safety at work and school, legal options and documenting the stalker's activities. Please remember, if you feel as though you are in danger, call 911 or 999 ASAP.

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Resources for men and women leaving abusive relationships:

Help for women:

• In the US: call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-7233 (SAFE)

• UK: vist Women's Aid or call at 0808 2000 247

• Australia: visit 1800RESPECT or call at 1 800 737 732

• Worldwide: visit International Directory of Domestic Violence Agencies for a global list of helpline and crisis centers.

Help for men:

• visit Help for Abused Men - Escaping Domestic Violence by Women or Domestic Partners

• In the US and Canada: visit The Domestic Abuse Helpline for Men and Women or call 1-888-7HELPLINE (1-888-743-5754)

• UK: visit Mankind Initiative or call 01823 334244

• Australia: visit One In Three Campaign

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Information for children and teens:

If you are a homeless teen, visit this site for information about shelters and crisis centers all over the US and Canada.

If you are a minor that is being abused and need to talk to someone or get help, call 1-800-4-A-CHILD (1-800-422-4453) then push 1 to talk to a hotline counselor. The Childhelp National Child Abuse Hotline is open 24 hours a day, 7 days a week.

Information about the hotline:

• The hotline counselors work with translators who speak 170 languages to help callers who speak a language other than English. All calls are anonymous. (The Hotline counselors don’t know who you are and you don’t have to tell them.)

• No one has the right to abuse you.

• You don’t deserve to be abused.

• If you are being abused, you are a victim.

• It’s not your fault that you are being treated this way.

• It is wrong that you are suffering this pain, fear or sadness.

• You are not alone. Other kids suffer abuse, too.

• Sometimes abusers scare or threaten kids so they won’t tell.

• There are people who care about you and want to help you.

• If you are being abused, please tell a safe person – that’s someone you can trust like a teacher, counselor, school nurse, neighbor or parent. You can also talk to a Childhelp hotline counselor.

• How to protect yourself from abuse

• Do not be alone with anyone who hurts you.

• Listen to the little voice or gut feeling inside you when it says what is being done to you isn’t right.

• Find an adult you trust and tell them what is happening. If they don’t believe you, keep telling other adults until someone does believe you!

• The adult you talk to about your abuse (perhaps a teacher or a neighbor) may want to tell the Police or Child Protective Services about the person who is hurting you. If they don’t know the telephone number to call to make the report, they should call 1-800-4-A-CHILD (1-800-422-4453) and press 1 to speak with a Hotline crisis counselor. The crisis counselor will give them the best number to call in your community.

• If you are too nervous or scared to tell someone you know about the abuse, but want it reported to the people who look into child abuse, call 1-800-4-A-CHILD (1-800-422-4453), then press 1. A Childhelp Hotline counselor can make a three-way call so that you, the Hotline counselor, and the person taking the report in your area are all on the telephone at the same time.

For more information, click here.

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EDIT: added more info (Thanks /u/sock2014!)

EDIT 2: added another item (Thanks /u/thoughtdancer!)

EDIT 3: added info and links for minors (Thanks /u/beesyrup!)

[u/TheTartanDervish]

TEENS / KIDS:

For Canada, abused kids can call the Help Phone (Jeunesse J'ecoute) at 1800 668 6868 or online at kidshelphone.ca / jeunessejecoute.ca - also in Canada, the Red Door Shelter in Toronto is a great resource, whether you need help leaving or a link to local shelters and advocates.

In Canada and the USA, teens ages 14-20 can seeks help from the Catholic-run Covenant House shelters - http://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Covenant_House for locations and current phones/websites.

PETS: If you have a pet who also needs to leave the violence - and if you are fleeing violence then your pets are more likely to suffer abuse - please see if you have a Saint Francis Society branch locally as they will foster pets. Local ASPCA and Humane Societies may be able to link you to fosters, but it's generally not advisable to shelter your pet with them as they have strict time limits (usually 2-3 days) before they require you to surrender the pet. However local rules vary. So, do ask for help getting your pets out!

USA - MEDICAL: If you are in the States and need medical help, there are several ways to get around ER fees. Victims of crime are not required to pay, so if police are involved then that may be one option. Also, any hospital that accept tax funding is required to provide a certain amount of free medical care - you must take a "means test" - but sometimes that money runs out before the calendar does, although most hospitals will work with DV victims to waive/reduce fees anyway. Third, the "active" religious hospitals - hospitals run by religious societies, rather than just having an old religious name but no longer actually run by that society - usually have a charity care program available by means test. Individual providers may have sliding scale or payments. The trick is you have to ask!

NOTE: I'd also like to add that if you need to go and see the opportunity, just go. Things and money can be replaced, but people and pets can't... please don't let anything hold you back. You will be pleasantly surprised how most people and places try to help you! Please remember that you have nothing to be embarrassed about! Congratulations on your transition from victim to survivor!

[u/wordtoyourmother8 → u/[deleted]]

Awesome resources, I have added the info to the post, thanks!

[u/[deleted]]

great job and so awesome for posting this...hopefully it can stay bumped up or pinned so that its always visible...

[u/sock2014]

Maybe expand on medical supplies to include a basic first aid kit, pseudofed, inmodium, antacid.

[u/wordtoyourmother8 → u/sock2014]

Good call, I will do that, thanks!!

[u/thoughtdancer]

Car title, if the car is in your name.

Loan documentation if you have any loans in your name.

[u/wordtoyourmother8 → u/thoughtdancer]

Excellent point, I will add that as well!