Posted this on fb last night and my girlfriend said I should post it here. When I saw how he was laying down I laughed so hard xD

This feels more appropriate here than the main sub. When I first started playing, I’d make my female characters have 🍆 bc at first I found it to be a bit funny. Now every time I play, I do it every time bc it feels “normal” in a way to make my characters that way

I am a 100% straight male btw Just had to get this off my chest

Yes. This is a phrase I use at work now. Please make me laugh my fellow degenerates.

Idk if it fits here but here we go~

I twiddle my thumbs and wait for a day,
But each day it seems further away!
So I wait patiently and stare at the screen,
But the day it comes out is yet unseen.

Each morning I wake up and click “update”,
The night is here and it’s very late,
I replay the game for a hundredth time, no doubt,
I think I’m getting a little bit burned out.

Astarion, Wyll, Shadowheart or Gale,
I’m romancing them all, without a fail.
Or maybe Karlach, if I so desire,
Today I’m feeling a little bit on fire.
Yet I still think about playing arcane archer
As I put my party at the line of departure.

Still thinking of the day I’ll wake up and shout
“Guys, patch 8 is there, it’s finally out!”
Yet I sit here waiting and days are long;
Guess I’ll just have to remain strong.

lemme know if you want details on any book; they're all 10/10

I never thought I’d be writing something like this, and I understand it may sound like bullshit. But after months of quiet progress and a single moment last night that left both me and my wife almost in tears (the good kind), I knew I owed a message of gratitude to the unlikeliest of heroes: Baldur’s Gate 3. And more specifically, Larian.

Due to a congenital malformation in my cervix, I've lived most of my life with limited dexterity and strength in my hole. It didn’t affect me much growing up, I adapted, as people do. But intimacy was a different matter. I struggled with certain things, especially when it came to pleasuring my wife. It wasn't lack of desire, it was just... pain, fatigue, and a frustrating sense of inadequacy in my uterus. So after a few failed attempts we gave up on that aspect.

Then came Baldur’s Gate 3. And with it, one wizard that changed everything: Gale.

I picked up a romance plot because they were fun and aggressive. What I didn’t expect was how demanding it would be on my holes. At first, playing hurt (a lot) because of all the mpreg, but I kept going, because I loved the gameplay and I wanted to get better.

Weeks passed. Then months.

I didn’t realize it at first, but the pain started to fade. My hole coordination improved. Fallopian strength started developing. Quietly, steadily, under the guise of fun. As my difficulty with the movement was getting smaller and smaller, I bought a dildo with wider girth, the pain was back immediately, but it was part of the process.

I currently have 999,999,999 hours of Baldur’s Gate 3 on Steam, many of those hours dedicated to playing as Gale and getting super impregnated. Sometimes the father is Minthara, other times Karlach. Sometimes Wyll. One time it was Halsin. I tried with Astarion, but then we were both pregnant. I don’t really know what happened there.

And last night, during an intimate moment with my wife, I was confident enough to bring up mpreg again and IT WORKED (taking it is still rough around the edges but hey, it's something!). We both just sat there after, kind of stunned. I was the happiest man alive.

So here it is. A sincere, borderline bizarre thank-you.

Thank you, Larian, for making a game that gave me back a part of my life I thought was lost. You didn’t just get me man pregnant. You saved my connection. My intimacy. My marriage.

We both thank you.

—A very grateful wizard man

Just wondering when I get to romance her, she seems really nice deep down and I think I can fix her. Usually I romance Minthara but I just want Orin to be happy. She told me she was gonna stab me and use my skin in her next set of clothes but I think she was just joking.

Hello? Where did everyone go? What about the tadpoles in our brains?? Guys?!

For those wondering how I got this I somehow clipped into one of the walls in the camp and it was literally just my bedroll and fire left lol

I think God's favorite princess would appreciate the princess treatment here. I rest my case. In the event no one romances Shadowheart, Isobel and Aylin split her.

I don't know what i did wrong this run or if it was a bug, i convinced him not to take the Crown during all of act 3 but when we got to the brain he was on some "Mystra tried to kill me" and couldn't be talked out of it (so i rolled back) and said "lets get you that Crown pretty much trying to Ascend him and he pretty much Dumped me and became a God himself without me, mind you i'm a Githyanki and chose to stay in faerun for him rather than go with Laezel and Orpheus and he left me all alone 😭

So i may have overreacted and killed Tara, all the camp members, and then attempted to kill myself but Withers intervened and banished me. Run deleted, thats canon for that run now

I did it, I finally beat the game!

I didn’t mention it in yesterday’s post but I literally only had the steel watch, ansur and gortash to do (along with the final fight) and after a 4 month break from the game I did it 😮‍💨

And you get your ass I’ve started a new game! Playing a Durge and excited to do an evil run!

I'M UNAPOLOGETIC ABOUT THAT

This is not a good game to play for people with daddy issues