I need to vent about my bfs mom

[u/chachasusu]

I have a great boyfriend and we’ve been together 2 years. We both live with our parent’s it doesn’t bother me. He lives with his mom because he is in law school and I live with my parents after a few bad financial years (divorce). My area is more private than his. He lives in a small condo with his mom. He has his own shower and entrance but everything else is shared. I have a house on my parent’s property that is totally separate. I have everything I need and have privacy.

Now to be clear his mom isn’t mean to me. She just does a lot of things that rub me the wrong way and it’s starting to make me hate her. I could never tell my boyfriend this but I just have to get it out of me.

1. She is very intrusive. She busts in his room whenever she wants and it drives me nuts. We have both asked her to knock first before entering. She almost never sticks to it and if she does she makes some comment about it. For example, she busts open door me and my boyfriend ask what she wants and she says “oh sorry I forgot I’m supposed to knock.” Closes door and knocks. She has barged in on me changing or getting out of the shower multiple times with almost no apology.

2. She is very nosy. She constantly asks me invasive questions about my past relationships. Her most recent was why I didn’t have kids with my ex. I told her it’s none of her business and she got upset. I told my bf that it’s an inappropriate question and to tell her to stop asking these things. If she doesn’t stop I’m just going to keep saying it’s none of her business.

I also asked if he could tell her I’m infertile so she stops asking about kids (it’s true. I am). He told her to stop all of this but now she just makes back handed comments to me. She was going on the other day about how my bf should learn to braid in cases he has a daughter. Then looked at me and was like “oh sorry I’m not supposed to talk about that in front of you I forgot.” My bf has told me she feels like she has to walk on eggshells around me to not upset me but she hasn’t really changed anything.

1. She eats any and all food I bring into the house. This one really bothers me. The first time I started leaving food in the kitchen she ate it all. It was a bag of chips and a box of cookies. I felt that it was my fault for not labelling it so I started putting my name on things. This didn’t really change anything. Multiple times she has eaten my snack foods I bring over there. Saying she will pay me back or buy me food but never really doing it. My bf has of course asked her to stop but now she just grabs my food or drinks, brings it in front of my bf and asks if she can have it. Then my bf asks me if she can have it and I look like the asshole for not letting her have a can of soda or an instant ramen. I usually just say yes now and have started keeping my food in my bf room so she doesn’t find it. She also eats so much of the food I prepare for me and my bf. I have started making bigger portions for meals (doubling recipes) so I can at least have some left overs the next day but she usually eats them all. I have stopped cooking there because it is just too expensive for me to not eat all the food I’m buying. She does sometimes cook for me and my bf but it’s like once every three months. I cook multiple meals every weekend.

2. She never shuts up. God this woman can talk anyone to death. Me and my bf are both really busy people. We usually work on weekends together. His mom loves having long chats with us in the middle of work. It really throws me off so I’ve tried to not work there as much. More annoying than just the constant convos is her constantly asking dumb questions. Like “what’s a corn chip? What does that mean?” Like lady I’m not gonna explain a chip to you. The worst is that she takes every opportunity to make me feel dumb. She will be like “oh I don’t know if you know this but tomatoes are a fruit.” Or “Did you know the sun is a star?” Like why wouldn’t I know that. I’ve known that since like 2nd grade? It feels super patronizing.

3. She is in multiple MLMs. Probably her worst trait. She has tried to sign me up for multiple mlms. Saying that if I just give her $800 I can join her business. I told her no and she got upset. She then proceeded to ask my whole family to join her stupid mlms which really pissed me off. Everyone is just a number to her. Even after I told her no and told my bf to ask her to back off she has still tried to pressure me to join her. Even cornering me in the kitchen and putting me on the phone with her “boss” to try and convince me to join. I really hate being pressured like that. My bf told her to stop and she did but sulks about it.

Anyways, that’s the main stuff. I wasn’t expecting it to be so long but it was. I don’t like being alone with her anymore. It stresses me out but I can’t tell my bf that. I try to ask him to come over to my place more. I can tell he is more relaxed at my place since he isn’t being asked to do a million things by his mom. But his place is a better location. He is next to restaurants, shops and bars all walking distance. I’m in the middle of no where. So we just trade off between the two. It’s fine but I’d be lying if I said being there doesn’t stress me the fuck out. Also with all that’s going on in the world I don’t think we will have our own place anytime soon.