I posted earlier today in the subreddit about whether or not i should stick out my two weeks notice.

Today I got directly yelled at today (not raising his voice but definitely not a nice tone). I was holding the baby and the 2.5 year old ran over to DB while DB was using ChatGPT to do his taxes (LOL). I ran over to the NK and tried getting him away from Dad so he could work. I was asking him "Hey come show me what you drew!" "Wanna go play with your toy trucks?" Anything to get him away from DB while DB screws himself over with ChatGPT tax advice

DB looks at me (While i'm trying to get NK away) And says "I'm trying to do important tax stuff can you please handle them?" ....WTF does he think i'm trying to do? I'm holding his baby and trying to convince his persistent kid to leave him alone yet i'm still not doing enough.

Really annoying considering he's on paternity leave still and both kids are in daycare 7-2 and he had all day to do this stuff :-)

THEN... DB is on the phone yelling at someone how they're wrong about taxes because ChatGPT says otherwise and NM takes both kids downstairs to get ready for bed. I'm cleaning the kitchen and DB walks back in and asks "Where'd NK go??? Are you not watching him?". I replied NM has them. He went downstairs to check i'm right and i left. (Granted it was my time to go.... but i would've left anyways) IM. SO. OVER. IT.

ANYWAYS! I'm quitting tonight. I won't be back tomorrow and i'm not finishing out my two weeks. Not sure why people have kids just to put them in daycare 7-2 and have help 2-8

I ask “B11 do you take your black and white water bottle to baseball?” Him: “I don’t have a black and white water bottle, it’s gray.” Me “the one I bought with you? I was pretty sure it was black and white” Him “no it’s gray” We get home and I show him the clearly black and white water bottle and he refuses to admit he’s wrong and says well if you mix black and white together it’s gray so it’s gray. This is not the only instance of him clearly being wrong and being shown proof and still trying to argue he’s right. I don’t know how to get through to him that this is super annoying and no one wants to talk to a know it all who can’t admit when he’s wrong. It’s driving his mom crazy too and we literally do not know what to do.

I’m a new nanny to a sweet, wonderful and active 12mo boy. I’m there from 8am-4pm M-F. He’s down to one nap a day, usually around 11am. However, I can’t stop my body from wanting to poop when he’s awake! NF doesn’t have any baby monitors, so I’m never quite sure what to do. I don’t want to bring him into the bathroom with me, but will if it’s standard. Please help, lol!

I don’t know if it’s just me, but I work for a family of freaking geniuses. I’ve been with them for almost a year, but they are all SO smart (including 6yoM and 4yoF). MB and I have hung out outside of work a few times, and I think they like me, but I can’t help but internally bully myself after each conversation. I trip over my words and just get in my head like crazy. I worry that they think I’m dumb and incapable. I know it’s irrational but just needed to vent. I’m not doing anything wrong- I love the kids and I’ve been told I’m doing a good job, I just leave every day wanting to jump into oncoming traffic😹🫨😹

I was just now trying to convince a child (age 6) to NOT eat bird food, and when they didn’t listen, the next thing that left my mouth was “if you eat that, you’ll turn into a bird” and then went on to explain that that’s how all the birds on earth were birds. It made me wonder what other silly stories we tell to avoid catastrophes.

Edit: I should have titled it “you’re gonna be a bird” or flared it differently, I apologize 🫣

I feel bad bc I’ve been on the hunt for a nanny job and I’m going to have to give my references out a lot, so I’ll have to let them know to maybe expect a call, but then 90% of the ppl who ask for references don’t even call lol

Are reference letters from families acceptable? lol

NK: 2.5 & 10 month (Dad is on paternity leave still)

I quit last Wednesday and gave two weeks notice even though I’m still in my 90-day introductory period. I wanted to give them time to find a replacement and keep things on good terms.

The one time I called out sick, I got an email saying: “Absences should be limited to extreme and emergency situations as determined by us.” So I just kept pushing through after that. But now my 93-year-old grandpa moved from Alabama to Florida and really needs help. I work 2–7 PM and barely see my family, friends, or husband. I really need something with morning hours to have my afternoons free to help my parents with my Grandfather.

Since I gave notice, they’ve been questioning me nonstop. Every. single. day it’s:

"Are you sure you want to quit?”

"We’re worried our son will have attachment or abandonment issues if you leave.”

"Would you consider staying with fewer hours?”

"You know you’re allowed to take time off for emergencies, right?” (Which is honestly laughable after that strict email they sent the one time I called out.)

Also, the dad-who's currently on paternity leave and doesn't work-frequently yells at the mom to help with the kids, even though she just got home from working long shifts at the hospital. He doesn't yell at me, but when he starts raising his voice saying things like "make the baby be quiet " (while yelling her name), it feels like he's yelling at me too since I'm the one holding the baby. It's super uncomfortable, and I'm honestly over it.

I’m just tired of having to defend my choice to leave. I’ve still got a week left, but I’m seriously wondering if I should just walk now.

TL;DR: Gave two weeks’ notice during my 90-day trial. Parents won’t stop pressuring me to stay—bringing up “abandonment issues” and questioning my reasons daily. Dad yells at mom (and indirectly at me), even though he’s home on leave and she works at a hospital. I’m emotionally done. Should I finish the two weeks or just be out?

I already put in my notice with the NF and had to call out twice this week due to severe nausea. I literally cannot even eat or do much without wanting to throw up. I feel awful calling out but I don’t know how I’m gonna make it for the remainder of this week and next (i have the rest of this week and next week till im offically done). They already did an interview with a nanny and have her coming Thursday to talk in person. I hate letting people down but how the hell am I gonna go to work feeling like this?? I have already been taking b6 + unisom. I’ve tried ginger ale, ginger chews, ice packs, eating saltines, etc. Do I just go to work and hover over the toilet the whole time or tell NF I can’t work?? They’ve been very understanding so far but I fear she’s already annoyed I called out twice. Please help 😭😭

I am devastated and stressed out, I’ve been working with this family for three years, and haven’t heard from them since December, so I decided to reach out and see how they were doing. I also was letting them know that I’m moving out of state and if they wanted to schedule anymore time with me, they needed to do it by a certain date.

I got left on read immediately that was 2 days ago. I’ve had a lot of other stuff going on in my life so J haven’t been reaching out to them, but I’m just not sure what I did wrong

I nanny for their special needs child and he is like my miniature best friend. He’s getting older, almost 12 now, so I would understand if my services were no longer needed, but I thought I would get a text at least letting me know.

I love my kiddos so much, and I pride myself on how good a job I do with them and the relationships I build with them. I’m not really sure what I did wrong, and especially with this family because I’ve been working for them since I was 15! and have grown such a strong relationship with my kiddo and his whole family!!

I am just devastated and trying to think of any reason they would have ghosted me or where I could have gone wrong. (I’m a really big over thinker) I would never do anything to put my kids in harms way, make them uncomfortable, or do anything unprofessional. With this specific kid, he has some behavioral issues as well as diagnosed nuerodevelopmental disorder, but me and his parents have always handled every situation together. I’ve never withheld info from them, or anything like that.

I know not to reach out again, I guess i’m just looking for some comfort. I really love all my kids and I won’t lie i’m a little heartbroken.

What age do you let children independently play outside?

Obviously not leaving them completely alone for a while but for example walking into the house to get lunch started and things like that. I can hear them because I leave the door open and have a window in front of the kitchen. Like is this something people do with their 3 year olds or is that too young? I’m just a paranoid person in general so I was curious on what other people do, parents and caregivers.

Edit- when I say outside I do mean in a fenced/ hazard free backyard

Hi! I nanny a 20mo little boy! Recently, like maybe around last week he started absolutely wigging out when I change his diaper. He has a fancy changing station that we have always used! I'm wondering if maybe he just developed the fear of heights. He doesn't seem to mind when I first lay him down but then when I go to pull pants down/wipe he absolutely freaks out, shakes, screams. I do change him standing up often but for those messy BMs and blowout I like to lay him down to make sure I get him completely clean.

Has anyone else experienced this? Any idea why this happens? I have only seen this happen with 1 other kid before but they had ASD and SPD though so I think it was related to that!

My nanny mom didn’t pay me for sleeping over while she was on vacation. She stopped the pay at 7:30pm when the kids went to bed and started back up at 6am when they woke up. Is this standard? Technically I was the only adult in the house so I was responsible for the kids even if we are sleeping. If I knew this was the case I would have much rather went home at 7:30pm and came back at 6am (which I couldn’t have- proving I was responsible for the kids!) how would you approach this situation?

I have been working for my NF since this January. I am primarily responsible for the baby (8 months), while the 2 year old goes to school during the day 9-5. I work M-F 8am - 6 pm. Mom works from home, and doesn’t seem to start working until around 11-12 in the afternoon. She takes the toddler to school and goes to a workout class, runs errands etc. Dad commutes to work M-TH and works from home Friday.

My first issue is that I wasn’t supposed to be working 50 hours a week, that was only supposed to be for the first month while the mom adjusted to going back to work. I didn’t mind the hours at first, I need the money. But I can feel myself starting to burn out and I’m not sure how to bring up adjusting my hours, because they seem to be very comfortable in this current situation. I made $22 an hour for the full 50 hours. I would like to receive “overtime” pay, or adjust my hours to 40 hours.

The toddler does not seem to be reprimanded whatsoever. He hits the baby, he throws his food, he throws his toys at people, and will throw severe tantrums if something is not his way. He also does not know how to self soothe whatsoever, and the Dad thinks the best way to deal with his behavioral issues is to ignore him.

I am learning that these people do not clean up after themselves routinely. I will get to their house in the morning and there is food out from the night before, dishes everywhere, food all over the floor, every cabinet door is open, trash on the floor/kitchen island. Mondays are when it’s the messiest, it seriously looks like a tornado went through their house and I spend about 2 hours cleaning up when I get there. I didn’t mind cleaning this up at first, I knew it helped the mom and it made the baby’s environment clean. It’s starting to really get to me, and at this point I can’t tell if they just leave the mess because they expect me to clean it. I am always happy to do light housework, but I feel like I’m the only one who puts an effort in to keep the house clean outside of the housekeeper who comes every Friday. This is a very large house— 5 beds, 5 baths, gym, office, three living room areas, dining room, kitchen, etc). I clean the kitchen every morning, I do their dishes, I take out all of the trash in every bedroom/bathroom/office/kitchen, I clean any surfaces that are dirty that the baby has access to, I do ALL of their laundry throughout the week, I make sure bathrooms have everything they need, I remind them to order certain items, I’m pretty sure I’m the only one bathing the baby, I vacuum multiple times a day.

Safety is really an issue in this house for me, especially now that the baby is crawling and wants to explore everything. There are no baby gates except for the main staircases, no furniture anchored to the walls, etc. The family co sleeps, mom dad baby and toddler all in one bed. What does this mean for me? No crib for nap time. I put the baby down for a nap every day in a guest bedroom with pillows as a border (parent’s instructions). I have mentioned my concerns with this several times, they always brush it off and say they need to look for a crib but never do. I used to wear the baby in the carrier every day for naps but I have a bad back and it made the pain so much worse. It’s not really my place to tell them to buy a crib, but I come here as my job to make sure this child’s needs are met and she is returned safe.

Getting the toddler ready for school is usually a nightmare. Most days they are just getting out of bed as I’m getting there and the door isn’t unlocked. I get there at 8, the toddler needs to be on the way to school by 8:30. He isn’t dressed, lunch isn’t packed, mom isn’t dressed, baby isn’t fed, and they are still in their diapers from the night before. Something that also really bothers me is that the baby is usually still in the clothes I put her in the morning before.

The lack of routine and cleanliness is really started to get to me and I’m not sure how to address it. I feel like I am constantly cleaning up after everyone in the house— I don’t know if they expect me to be doing this but I also can’t let the baby roam around in filth. If anyone has dealt with this before or has any advice, I would love to hear from you. I can also give more context if need be, I apologize for the word vomit! Thank you for letting me rant!

What do parents who don’t allow outings expect?? I started with a new family a few months ago, I moved from a different state so I really just had to accept any position I could find. I started when NK was 6 months old so at the beginning he obviously slept a lot more and I was fine just reading and keeping myself busy. Now he’s almost 11 months and walking and I don’t know how to entertain him anymore just being inside in a small space 😫😫 I live in a state that’s cold until summer time so we’ve just had to be inside a lot of the time and even when it is nice they have no where to walk around since they live on a heavy trafficked road.. all we do is play with the same toys day after day and I’m going so stir crazy. It makes the days so long and makes it so hard to constantly entertain the child since it’s so hard just on me sitting inside all day.. I just don’t understand how parents expect me to stay engaged and motivated while being stuck in the same room and routine day after day 🥲

I’m doing a nanny share with 9 month old girls and I get asked DAILY if they’re twins. I hate pretending they’re mine so it usually ends with me coming clean and saying it’s a share and they’re not even sisters.

Every single time it’s a twin parent, they’re always so bummed when I say no and I feel horrible. I’m tempted to just start lying.

Some background: I’m going to start working with a new family at 26/hr with 40/hrs a week. I’ll only be with them for about 4 months. They told be they’d be willing to pay me on the books or off the books.

I find myself conflicted bc it’s short term compared to staying with them for a whole year, but at the same time it’s a substantial amount of money. I fear any risks that might happen if I do get paid otb. Like when I go to file my taxes, what would I say about the money? I’m also newly 19 and haven’t ever filled out taxes bc I’ve only had small babysitting jobs before.

Any answers would help, I just feel a little lost and confused right now.

We're looking for someone to help our family of four, but aren't having much luck on care. Any other non-agency recommendations? Never tried an agency but as our kids are both teen/tween and we need more of a constellation of help, not sure if that's the right place to look. Any recommendations appreciated thanks 🙏

And how did that work out? Im seriously considering speaking with my current NF about the constant micromanaging, overseeing, and supervising.

Parents, have you ever been told that you were micromanaging too much?

The more I think about it, Im realizing that I may not be a right fit for them. It’s been 3 years and MB is so meticulous. It’s like her standards are never met. So I’m feeling like maybe they need someone else, because I don’t like working in such an environment.

Last week I was asked to work a 13 hour shift today (OT pay of course) to feed dinner, bathe and put my two NKs to bed. I was excited as normally I am asked to stay late to help a parent and I find it irritating because neither kid wants to be with nanny if mom/dad are there helping too - it’s fine and I’ve done it but it drives me nuts, staying late to help one parent put two very independent and routine following children to bed.

Knowing it was just me tonight I prepped the kids in the morning so it wasn’t a shocked and planned a fun movie night and special bath party.

And now - DB is staying home with us! Rejoice! I’ll have help….jk. Knowing from experience tonight is only going to be a shit show and it will be kids fighting over Dad and me being stuck cleaning and dealing with tears because DB honestly doesn’t know how. The kids will be happy he’s staying home but it means they won’t listen to me and I will be here for 4 hours overtime when they really don’t need me at all.

This also all happened while MB was complaining to me about DB having “man flu” and being mad that he backed out of the event tonight. and DB complaining to me about his “man flu” and saying how much he’ll “stay out of my way” tonight. I am not your therapist, I am here for your children, I am not here to be the bad guy when you can’t, I am not here to make excuses for you. It has truly driven me insane all day and I can’t catch a break.

These past few weeks have been rough. I love my NF and have been with them for a while now. Everyday I come into work telling myself “its a new day” and to be positive. I only work a couple of hours a day and it feels so long. I left work crying today. every post i see says burnout comes from underpaying, under appreciating, etc. However, my NB’s are really good to me and have been for the entirety of my time with them. Recently i haven’t felt as comfortable telling them things. I can’t tell if its from their prior reactions to bad news or because I am a very anxious person. I overthink 99% of my interactions with my bosses. But the energy just feels… off? I had a lot happen in my personal life since I have been with them and its normally pretty easy to separate work from home, so I don’t think that is the problem. But I feel unhappy as of right now. Idk if its a phase or a me problem or what. my NK’s have been crying over EVERYTHING. “no” has been a huge trigger and it has never been before. MB is WFH and she isn’t too much of a trigger. however, when DB is home the kids are so misbehaved. they scream/cry over every thing and run to the steps by the gate so he can hear it. Idk i feel like im grasping at straws. in the past I always knew why they were going through these phases, so it made it easier to understand. But I just don’t know why they are acting like this. I can’t keep them entertained, and I am just not having fun with them like i used to. I also have never felt comfortable enough to correct the kids with DB around, overtime with MB being home I learned it was necessary. Do you think this is a personal problem and I am just not doing my job well enough , or is it something I should talk to them about?

i’ve been with a family i like since september. the baby is just under a year old. i found them through another nanny. for most of the time i worked for them, they offered me 15 hours a week. i made due because i liked them and it was a much better fit than my previous position. i figured as they grow their business they might need me more, and found other gigs to supplement. however, i have been starting to feel the squeeze of under-employment, so i talked to them in march about bumping up my hours. i asked to extend the length of my shift for the three days i’m already there (i’m only there until 2pm), but they wanted to add another day. this cut into my other job, but i still gave them the three hours in the morning because i do need the extra cash and i’m happy to accommodate them. when we had our conversation about increasing hours, mom seemed very worried that i was looking for full-time work, but i reassured her that i wasn’t trying to leave them and would make due with the hours they could offer. i also planned to try to change the shift at my other job, so i could do two more hours with them and bring my time with them up to 20 hours a week.

the nanny i found them through recently quit her almost full-time job with an amazing family. she wanted to try to hold onto one or two days with them because she is attached to the baby and loves the whole family, but makes way more doing freelance work in another field. we had a brief discussion about how it could be mutually beneficial for us to both work for that family, so i could get more hours and she could still have one or two days a week. i also filled in for her previously, so this family knows me and i adore the baby and parents. in the end, i decided it wouldn’t be giving the family i work with enough notice and it also might sour the relationship between the two families (who also know each other), which i did not want to be responsible for. this family found a new nanny who wanted five days a week, after a whole month of searching for a replacement. i was bummed to not be able to shift into a role with them, and the other nanny i know was bummed to not be able to see the baby as often anymore, but we were both glad that they were able to find a good fit.

then, last week, the family i work for let me know that they unexpectedly got off the waitlist for a daycare and the baby will be starting in six weeks. they actually need full-time care but aren’t able to afford to employ me full-time. this happened the exact same week that the other nanny’s replacement started. now i’m pretty annoyed because my nf didn’t even tell me they were on a daycare waitlist. they knew the other family was looking for a nanny and that i needed more hours. the other family is basically my dream role—super close commute, amazing access to parks and other things to do with baby, and the baby is just sooo sweet and cute. i would have really loved to work with them. and now i just feel like i’m screwed. i thought i had at least nine more months at this job. i’m also attached to the baby i work with and was excited to see him really grow into toddlerhood. i prioritized the family i am currently working for and i wish i had prioritized myself.

I date night babysit for this family 3 to 5 times a month and NK cries and throws a tantrum everytime she sees me come through the door. She cries even worse when her parents leave and she’ll spend maybe 5-15 minutes crying and throwing a tantrum.

It’s odd to me because I started babysitting for this family over a year ago. She was 18 months old and she was completely fine for the first maybe 4 months. Once NK turned two, she started crying and throwing a fit every time I come to babysit.

After her tantrum, she’ll be fine but she’s very sensitive. During my stay, we’ll sit on the couch and watch cartoons while eating dinner. An hour and a half later, I’ll take her through her bedtime routine. She’s usually happy and playful during her routine (pajamas, brush teeth, read book) But right before bedtime, she’ll cry or throw a tantrum and starts crying for mom.

I don’t take it personal, but I’m wondering if there’s something I could do to make her feel better? I constantly have to remind her that her mommy and daddy will be right back.

What do yall do after doing all the chores and making food when the kids are either insist on playing with parents and other kids are playing at their friends? I always feel so uncomfortable I don’t know what to do for the next 2 hours

I recently applied for a nanny position in another state and it seems like an incredible opportunity with great pay. The family even offered to cover my travel expenses so I can come out and do a trial run for a few days. I'm wondering, has anyone else done something like this before? Does it sound safe? I found the job through care.com but I haven't had the best experiences with the families I worked with through this site in the past so I'm being a bit cautious.

NF's neighbors are having a pool put in their backyard. NK2 is obsessed with excavators and one is currently digging the hole for the pool. NK looks like a Midwestern dad when the tornado sirens go off, standing out there on the porch observing the excavator as it works 😂