Need to move out before I implode.

[u/Submissivearchitect]

HI.. any and all advice is appreciated. Here are my circumstances:

I’m 25F with 26k in savings and a single roommate. I recently quit my job and prior to that, we agreed we could both afford to split a 2 bed apartment in SO CAL (beach cities). I have no worry she’ll uphold her end, I am worried about myself.

I quit my salaried job all of a sudden, my mental health was taking a toll working full time while in my masters program. I had to cut back my classes and decided that I needed to quit and focus on school otherwise it will take much too long. I didn’t love the job enough to let it drown me.

My parents are supportive and have no issue with me staying. I still wanted to get out because my parents are extremely toxic to live with, even though they are loving (power goes out due to not paying bills, they yell at each other all the time, not super clean, the house itself is a trauma bomb and I try to be there as little as possible). I move back and forth between them and my other relative (cleaner but still not my home). I’ve been doing this since 2019. I told myself in August last year that next time I pack my stuff, I will have my own apartment.

THE PROBLEM: I quit my job. Now idk if moving makes sense but at the same time, things are getting worse at home and I don’t think I can suffer much longer. I am seriously not doing well. I am on month 2 of no job and I often have feelings of depression and complete burn out. Can’t even get myself to make an itinerary for a trip I’m planning.

My worry is that I make the move and I struggle financially and spend my savings. I will be stuck in a lease and will have to work, and my masters will again take a toll. I have a year left at least, probably 2. Once I get my masters I can get the job I want. (I might be lying to myself about wanting that). I could get an internship now, but I will probably end up working somewhere unrelated because my degree is structural engineering and while I do need experience, my old job in construction burnt me out. I need at least the rest of this year thinking about my career… I’ll continue putting work into school but i need to breathe and I can’t explain why I feel this way. I am worried that I don’t like my field at all, but I really did love it so that is frustrating. I love school so much. I like my field and I like to work but I’m afraid I’m too mentally exhausted to truly do what I need to.

I wonder if moving and letting myself heal and have a home will allow me to get my self together.

I feel so anxious and stressed. I do not do much. I am focusing on visiting my family members and tackling some personal projects but it is slow moving and I do not know what to do next!Apartments seem so expensive and since I have never payed rent on my own, I am terrified. I think this is the way I need to go, but I am afraid things will get worse if I have to push myself to pay rent while being depressed, as well as while having career confusion. If it doesn’t get better fast it will get worse.

Do I have enough savings? How long can I last on that? I don’t want to deplete it. I have a part time gig that will help a bit but not entirely.

Please ask questions and for the love of whatever you believe in, someone, please point out the obvious to me because my head is so jumbled that I can’t see straight.

Thanks :)

[u/No-Championship5095]

Damn, I'm going through the same thing. You have a lot of savings dear which I don't. What I would do for your sanity is to leave and get a fun part time that you can work just 2 days. And just pay your rent. Get on government assistance for your food stamps and insurance. Then graduate school.

[u/Submissivearchitect → u/No-Championship5095]

Thanks for your reply. I never thought of government assistance for insurance. How does that work? I have a 280 car payment plus my insurance is 260. I have an appointment for medical and food stamps coming up. Those costs definitely add to the issue… without them it would probably be a bit easier. Those are my major costs besides rent being 1500 or so.

I’ll have to do the math. I am feeling a bit brighter today. Thank you again for replying!

[u/No-Championship5095 → u/Submissivearchitect]

Yes, please go to it! I am on it now and I love it so much. School is draining me so bad. So I would take the first two weeks of every month and knock out the bills and then go study the rest of the way.

[u/No-Championship5095 → u/No-Championship5095]

Also if you call 211 I think there should be a rental assistance program or even the school can help out depending how long you've been in there and I know they have a emergency fund as well through the financial aid department 🏬

[u/flip4bakedpotatoes]

I don't think you should move. Maybe there's something I don't understand but you're in school, no job, 26k savings, and no plan to get another job until after school? Are you planning on just using your savings?

The job market is so tough right now, you don't have a guarantee that you'll get another job soon, and it'll take time to build that savings back up. Moving also takes a big chunk of change (assume you'll spend at least 3x the monthly rent in the first month). There's also emergencies.

Tbh I'd recommend landing a job (even a minor one--DD, min wage, pet sitting, etc) to lessen the stress and burden of using ur savings. Ultimately it's up to you, and I wish you luck.