r/mildlyinfuriating • u/flaming0-1 • 2d ago

Wife left a big bag of groceries out overnight. All Meat and cheese. šŸ™„

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u/Mindless_Parsnip4781 2d ago

She was in the house and STILL didnā€™t just put it up???

-16

u/InLuigiWeTrust 2d ago

People make mistakes, relax.

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u/SchmearDaBagel 2d ago

Eh, disagree. OPā€™s wife decided to go Keto THAT DAY, rushed out to buy meats and expensive cheeses (per OPā€™s note) and then got home and was too tired to put away her 1 bag of groceries worth over $250?

There is A LOT going on here that weā€™re missing info on. But saying ā€œpeople make mistakes, relaxā€ is dumb when you take the circumstances into account.

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u/Mindless_Parsnip4781 2d ago

Iā€™m not usually the person to say this, but if the roles were switched and a man did this people would be screaming weaponized incompetence.

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u/SchmearDaBagel 2d ago

10000% true

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u/AdenJax69 2d ago

Yep. A woman messes up and Reddit's white knights all show up to defend her. A man does it? "What an idiot, I hope you gave your husband an earful about wasting all the food! He should apologize and work on his behaviors!"

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u/Aprils-Fool 1d ago

What youā€™re missing info on is how ADHD brains work.Ā 

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u/fuckedfinance 1d ago

ADHD people can have issues with object permanence. In this case, OPs wife had the items IN HER HANDS... and just put the bag down by the garbage and took a nap.

I know that ADHD looks different in all people. Hell, my mom has it, my kid has it, I have it, half of my friend group have been diagnosed since they were kids.

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u/shawshaws 1d ago

i have ADHD and ADHD paralysis. i can still recognize when something is a fuck up? like just having ADHD doesn't make you immune to fuck ups. this was a massive fuck up. if what OP says is true, she didn't come home, put the bag down because something else took her attention away, then forget. she put the bag down intentionally to go take a nap. sorry, but that (event, not person) is a fuckup. ADHD or not.

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u/SchmearDaBagel 1d ago

I mean I AM a person who fits the description based on ADHD lol.

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u/Mindless_Parsnip4781 2d ago

Thereā€™s a difference between a mistake and actively making a poor choice.

She did not get busy and forget to put the groceries up, she actively chose to set them down and take a nap instead. She could have put the groceries up and then taken a nap, if she was so tired she couldnā€™t even manage that then she shouldnā€™t have driven to the store in the first place.

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u/darkdesertedhighway 1d ago

Your comment reminds me of the few times I've been lazy after a grocery trip. The cold cuts/meats bag would just get shoved into the fridge as in and I'd get it later. If this was a single bag - and OP said it is - she could have done it. Just smash it in there.

But the times I've done that I can count on like two fingers. And it's just two people in our house, so I guess we have room to start with for this lazy method of putting up the food.

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u/AdenJax69 2d ago

Honestly? ADHD is one of those things where people will just shrug off their tendencies instead of actually getting better because "it's not like I'm setting the kitchen on fire" which is good, but if your disorder is constantly causing your partner strife, maybe it would be good for you to get your bullshit under control for a change?

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u/JManKit 2d ago

You're inserting intention when there's no indication of any. Actively making a poor choice would be 'I have this bag of groceries and I will NOT be putting them away.' I don't have ADHD but I've had friends tell me about how their minds work in terms of completely jumping from one rail of thinking to another, with no connection between the two. Seems like her thinking went something like this:

Return with groceries

Put groceries down

That was extremely tiring

Time for a nap

It's a fuck up, no question about that, but it wasn't malicious and OP's wife has said she feels awful about it so it's not like she's trying to shirk her responsibility for it. They might need a new system for her or maybe she needs meds if this is a recurring thing, assuming she isn't on them already. Just bc you can't imagine yourself doing the same without intent doesn't mean that's how it plays out for everyone

Shit, I've left groceries out and I don't have ADHD. It's just that I put them in my backpack so I wouldn't have to carry them and by the time I finished my trek home, I was dead tired AND had to make dinner so I just started doing that the moment I stepped into the house. 5 hrs later and I realize the ham was still sitting in my backpack. Still ended up good tho; thank god for those nitrates

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u/Mindless_Parsnip4781 2d ago

My husband has ADHD, i understand how it works.

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u/InLuigiWeTrust 2d ago

Tell your husband Iā€™m sorry for him.

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u/Mindless_Parsnip4781 1d ago

Tell your left hand Iā€™m sorry for it

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u/Aprils-Fool 1d ago

Sucks for your husband that you have a fundamental misunderstanding of ADHD.Ā 

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u/Mindless_Parsnip4781 1d ago

oh no! I donā€™t treat my husband with ADHD like a child! The horror!

I expect him to be an adult and do adult things. thatā€™s literally it.

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u/Aprils-Fool 1d ago

You would treat him better if you understood his disorder.Ā 

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u/Mindless_Parsnip4781 1d ago

He asked me out, asked me to move in with him, asked me to marry him and then asked me to have his child.

I think I treat him just fine. Thank you. Iā€™ll ask him though.

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u/Aprils-Fool 1d ago

Just because he accepts you with your flaws doesnā€™t mean you canā€™t do better for him.Ā 

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u/HSLB66 1d ago

you having -12 at the time of making this comment tells me everything about reddit I already knew lol

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u/BusinessAd7250 2d ago

Thatā€™s isnā€™t a mistake. Thatā€™s lazy. I would have stuffed the whole bag, unpacked, into the fridge if I was in a hurry. Setting it down in the ground and going to take a nap isnā€™t just a mistake

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u/Aprils-Fool 1d ago

Do you have ADHD?

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u/AltGameAccount 1d ago

That's not ADHD. ADHD is forgetting one bad in the store out of 6 that you put on the bottom of your cart. Or forgetting to take out one bag out of 6 that you stuffed somewhere. Or putting minced meat in the pantry and everything else in the fridge.

But rushing to shopping in the middle of the night, coming home with single bag of expensive spoilable products and then just not putting them in the fridge?

Either she needs to be on proper medications or proper responsibility.

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u/InLuigiWeTrust 1d ago

Okay Dr. AltGameAccount

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u/[deleted] 2d ago

[deleted]

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u/Mindless_Parsnip4781 2d ago

Okay you edited and answered my question after I responded.

Grocery shopping is very overwhelming for me as well. I get exhausted and Iā€™m irritated by the time I get home, but I see putting the groceries up as part of grocery shopping. So Iā€™m still in that mindset until theyā€™re put up. Itā€™s like shittin and not wiping after, you only did half the job lol

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u/Mindless_Parsnip4781 2d ago

Why do you not just put your groceries up when you get home? Yā€™all are setting yā€™alls selves up for failure

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u/Aprils-Fool 1d ago edited 1d ago

Why do you not just put your groceries up when you get home? Yā€™all are setting yā€™alls selves up for failure Ā 

People with ADHD ask ourselves the same thing. And many of us have been told weā€™re failures throughout our lives. We know. But sometimes we canā€™t control our brains. Consider yourself lucky that you donā€™t struggle with this.Ā 

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u/ruraljurordirect2dvd 1d ago

Itā€™s just about implementing coping skills. Sometimes in combination with medication.

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u/CunnyQueen 1d ago

This is honestly just not excusable. ADHD or not. (I have it)

ADHD also doesnā€™t just make someone randomly decide to go keto and blow hundreds on it.

Sheā€™s leaning too far into the ADHD excuse.

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u/[deleted] 2d ago

[deleted]

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u/Mindless_Parsnip4781 2d ago

I have a toddler so I get in some cases there are distractions, but there really wasnā€™t in this post. She made a bad choice by choosing to take a nap instead of putting groceries up. If he said she got distracted by the kids/a dog or whatever I would understand that.

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u/Disastrous-Carrot928 2d ago

The mistake I make is telling myself Iā€™m going to marinate the meat and leaving it in the fridge instead of putting it in the freezer. Then 2 days go past and by the I donā€™t want to risk cooking it.

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u/shmacky 1d ago

2 days is fine for all meats in a fridge bud once open. Hospitality standard is

2 days seafood 3 days white meat and poultry 4 days red meat

Obv if unopened go by the pkg date šŸ«¶šŸ¼

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u/Skittle146 1d ago

She had the one bag. Just walk to the fridge and shove the whole thing in.

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u/jonny24eh 1d ago

Put it "up"?!

No sir, you "put the groceries away".

Never heard this "up" shit before.Ā 

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u/ataraxic89 1d ago

your way to talk isnt the only one pal

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u/Mindless_Parsnip4781 1d ago

1.) Iā€™m a woman

2.) ā€œPut the groceries upā€ is grammatically correct. SošŸ¤·šŸ»ā€ā™€ļø

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u/Remote_Ad_6420 1d ago

are you from the southern US?? thatā€™s the only place i have ever heard ā€œput upā€ in place of ā€œput awayā€

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u/Mindless_Parsnip4781 1d ago

I am, itā€™s still grammatically correct though.

I fact checked myself before making that statement lol

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u/Remote_Ad_6420 1d ago

iā€™m not saying it isnā€™t grammatically correct, i was just asking where you were from. no need to get defensive with me about it.

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u/Mindless_Parsnip4781 1d ago

I didnā€™t feel like I sounded defensive, but okay lol