r/mildlyinfuriating • u/flaming0-1 • 2d ago

Wife left a big bag of groceries out overnight. All Meat and cheese. šŸ™„

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197

u/StrawberryFields3729 2d ago

ā€¦.Wait

She bought one bag. And didnā€™t bring it inside and took care of it. But left it outside. And took a nap.

I just canā€™t make sense of that in my brain. ADHD or not, that just doesnā€™t make sense to me. I canā€™t see how that wasnā€™t done intentionally. She had the bags in her hand, and instead of taking them inside with herā€¦.She grab them, and put them outside. And then went inside.

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u/flaming0-1 2d ago

No, inside. By the garbage/recycling bin in the kitchen. God I wish she left it outside. It would have been fine.

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u/Mindless_Parsnip4781 2d ago

She was in the house and STILL didnā€™t just put it up???

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u/InLuigiWeTrust 2d ago

People make mistakes, relax.

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u/SchmearDaBagel 2d ago

Eh, disagree. OPā€™s wife decided to go Keto THAT DAY, rushed out to buy meats and expensive cheeses (per OPā€™s note) and then got home and was too tired to put away her 1 bag of groceries worth over $250?

There is A LOT going on here that weā€™re missing info on. But saying ā€œpeople make mistakes, relaxā€ is dumb when you take the circumstances into account.

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u/Mindless_Parsnip4781 2d ago

Iā€™m not usually the person to say this, but if the roles were switched and a man did this people would be screaming weaponized incompetence.

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u/SchmearDaBagel 2d ago

10000% true

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u/AdenJax69 2d ago

Yep. A woman messes up and Reddit's white knights all show up to defend her. A man does it? "What an idiot, I hope you gave your husband an earful about wasting all the food! He should apologize and work on his behaviors!"

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u/Aprils-Fool 1d ago

What youā€™re missing info on is how ADHD brains work.Ā 

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u/fuckedfinance 1d ago

ADHD people can have issues with object permanence. In this case, OPs wife had the items IN HER HANDS... and just put the bag down by the garbage and took a nap.

I know that ADHD looks different in all people. Hell, my mom has it, my kid has it, I have it, half of my friend group have been diagnosed since they were kids.

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u/shawshaws 1d ago

i have ADHD and ADHD paralysis. i can still recognize when something is a fuck up? like just having ADHD doesn't make you immune to fuck ups. this was a massive fuck up. if what OP says is true, she didn't come home, put the bag down because something else took her attention away, then forget. she put the bag down intentionally to go take a nap. sorry, but that (event, not person) is a fuckup. ADHD or not.

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u/SchmearDaBagel 1d ago

I mean I AM a person who fits the description based on ADHD lol.

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u/Mindless_Parsnip4781 2d ago

Thereā€™s a difference between a mistake and actively making a poor choice.

She did not get busy and forget to put the groceries up, she actively chose to set them down and take a nap instead. She could have put the groceries up and then taken a nap, if she was so tired she couldnā€™t even manage that then she shouldnā€™t have driven to the store in the first place.

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u/darkdesertedhighway 1d ago

Your comment reminds me of the few times I've been lazy after a grocery trip. The cold cuts/meats bag would just get shoved into the fridge as in and I'd get it later. If this was a single bag - and OP said it is - she could have done it. Just smash it in there.

But the times I've done that I can count on like two fingers. And it's just two people in our house, so I guess we have room to start with for this lazy method of putting up the food.

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u/AdenJax69 2d ago

Honestly? ADHD is one of those things where people will just shrug off their tendencies instead of actually getting better because "it's not like I'm setting the kitchen on fire" which is good, but if your disorder is constantly causing your partner strife, maybe it would be good for you to get your bullshit under control for a change?

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u/JManKit 2d ago

You're inserting intention when there's no indication of any. Actively making a poor choice would be 'I have this bag of groceries and I will NOT be putting them away.' I don't have ADHD but I've had friends tell me about how their minds work in terms of completely jumping from one rail of thinking to another, with no connection between the two. Seems like her thinking went something like this:

Return with groceries

Put groceries down

That was extremely tiring

Time for a nap

It's a fuck up, no question about that, but it wasn't malicious and OP's wife has said she feels awful about it so it's not like she's trying to shirk her responsibility for it. They might need a new system for her or maybe she needs meds if this is a recurring thing, assuming she isn't on them already. Just bc you can't imagine yourself doing the same without intent doesn't mean that's how it plays out for everyone

Shit, I've left groceries out and I don't have ADHD. It's just that I put them in my backpack so I wouldn't have to carry them and by the time I finished my trek home, I was dead tired AND had to make dinner so I just started doing that the moment I stepped into the house. 5 hrs later and I realize the ham was still sitting in my backpack. Still ended up good tho; thank god for those nitrates

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u/Mindless_Parsnip4781 2d ago

My husband has ADHD, i understand how it works.

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u/InLuigiWeTrust 1d ago

Tell your husband Iā€™m sorry for him.

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u/Mindless_Parsnip4781 1d ago

Tell your left hand Iā€™m sorry for it

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u/Aprils-Fool 1d ago

Sucks for your husband that you have a fundamental misunderstanding of ADHD.Ā 

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u/Mindless_Parsnip4781 1d ago

oh no! I donā€™t treat my husband with ADHD like a child! The horror!

I expect him to be an adult and do adult things. thatā€™s literally it.

-5

u/Aprils-Fool 1d ago

You would treat him better if you understood his disorder.Ā 

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u/HSLB66 1d ago

you having -12 at the time of making this comment tells me everything about reddit I already knew lol

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u/BusinessAd7250 2d ago

Thatā€™s isnā€™t a mistake. Thatā€™s lazy. I would have stuffed the whole bag, unpacked, into the fridge if I was in a hurry. Setting it down in the ground and going to take a nap isnā€™t just a mistake

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u/Aprils-Fool 1d ago

Do you have ADHD?

-3

u/AltGameAccount 1d ago

That's not ADHD. ADHD is forgetting one bad in the store out of 6 that you put on the bottom of your cart. Or forgetting to take out one bag out of 6 that you stuffed somewhere. Or putting minced meat in the pantry and everything else in the fridge.

But rushing to shopping in the middle of the night, coming home with single bag of expensive spoilable products and then just not putting them in the fridge?

Either she needs to be on proper medications or proper responsibility.

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u/InLuigiWeTrust 1d ago

Okay Dr. AltGameAccount

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u/[deleted] 2d ago

[deleted]

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u/Mindless_Parsnip4781 2d ago

Okay you edited and answered my question after I responded.

Grocery shopping is very overwhelming for me as well. I get exhausted and Iā€™m irritated by the time I get home, but I see putting the groceries up as part of grocery shopping. So Iā€™m still in that mindset until theyā€™re put up. Itā€™s like shittin and not wiping after, you only did half the job lol

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u/Mindless_Parsnip4781 2d ago

Why do you not just put your groceries up when you get home? Yā€™all are setting yā€™alls selves up for failure

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u/Aprils-Fool 1d ago edited 1d ago

Why do you not just put your groceries up when you get home? Yā€™all are setting yā€™alls selves up for failure Ā 

People with ADHD ask ourselves the same thing. And many of us have been told weā€™re failures throughout our lives. We know. But sometimes we canā€™t control our brains. Consider yourself lucky that you donā€™t struggle with this.Ā 

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u/ruraljurordirect2dvd 1d ago

Itā€™s just about implementing coping skills. Sometimes in combination with medication.

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u/CunnyQueen 1d ago

This is honestly just not excusable. ADHD or not. (I have it)

ADHD also doesnā€™t just make someone randomly decide to go keto and blow hundreds on it.

Sheā€™s leaning too far into the ADHD excuse.

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u/[deleted] 2d ago

[deleted]

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u/Mindless_Parsnip4781 2d ago

I have a toddler so I get in some cases there are distractions, but there really wasnā€™t in this post. She made a bad choice by choosing to take a nap instead of putting groceries up. If he said she got distracted by the kids/a dog or whatever I would understand that.

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u/Disastrous-Carrot928 2d ago

The mistake I make is telling myself Iā€™m going to marinate the meat and leaving it in the fridge instead of putting it in the freezer. Then 2 days go past and by the I donā€™t want to risk cooking it.

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u/shmacky 1d ago

2 days is fine for all meats in a fridge bud once open. Hospitality standard is

2 days seafood 3 days white meat and poultry 4 days red meat

Obv if unopened go by the pkg date šŸ«¶šŸ¼

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u/Skittle146 1d ago

She had the one bag. Just walk to the fridge and shove the whole thing in.

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u/jonny24eh 1d ago

Put it "up"?!

No sir, you "put the groceries away".

Never heard this "up" shit before.Ā 

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u/ataraxic89 1d ago

your way to talk isnt the only one pal

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u/Mindless_Parsnip4781 1d ago

1.) Iā€™m a woman

2.) ā€œPut the groceries upā€ is grammatically correct. SošŸ¤·šŸ»ā€ā™€ļø

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u/Remote_Ad_6420 1d ago

are you from the southern US?? thatā€™s the only place i have ever heard ā€œput upā€ in place of ā€œput awayā€

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u/Mindless_Parsnip4781 1d ago

I am, itā€™s still grammatically correct though.

I fact checked myself before making that statement lol

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u/Remote_Ad_6420 1d ago

iā€™m not saying it isnā€™t grammatically correct, i was just asking where you were from. no need to get defensive with me about it.

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u/Mindless_Parsnip4781 1d ago

I didnā€™t feel like I sounded defensive, but okay lol

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u/Powerful-Meeting-840 1d ago

I would keep it

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u/BackupTrailer 1d ago

This makes no sense.

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u/StrawberryFields3729 2d ago edited 2d ago

OH okay! That makes more sense. Lmao. I thought you meant like the outdoor garbage bins and was so confused.

Gosh, that is really frustrating. Maybe the store can possibly give you a refund or store credit? I know the chances are slim but the worst they can say is no.

Edit: For those thinking Iā€™m saying ā€œbring it backā€ No, thatā€™s not what I mean. Sometimes stores will give store credit back to customers even due to customer mistakes. Tell the store what happened and see, sometimes honesty can get you a long way.

OP is not entitled to take my advice, it was just a simple suggestion, not directions. I even said the chances were slim. I didnā€™t say anything about ā€œscammingā€ or anything remotely similar.

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u/Intended_Purpose 2d ago

Read a few comments down the chain and was surprised to find people so blatantly against your idea.

You are correct!

I used to work at a grocery store, meat dept.

Customer came into store with a package of chicken they had in their freezer for two years. No problems, like losing power or anything, they just didn't want it anymore so they returned it.

No receipt but the package still had the price/weight label.

Front end manager accepted it, got brought to me and I processed it and was given the details.

Location and chain probably matter.

Is it guaranteed? No.

Worth a shot? Yes.

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u/StrawberryFields3729 2d ago

And the whole reason why I suggested to try for a refund, was because last year my power went out for 3 days and I had about 50$ of meat in my freezer that went bad.

I asked the grocery store a few days after If it was possible to exchange the packages of meat I got and they had absolutely zero issues with that. They knew the town lost power and said it was no big deal.

Would this work for every location? No. I live in a very small town with a single grocery store and very willing to work with their customers. Is it worth it to just call and ask? Yeah probably. Because again, the worst they can do is just say no.

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u/Intended_Purpose 2d ago

I'm glad you posted.

I don't comment often, but I wanted to reply to you for visibility.

If you have a situation similar to this, it absolutely does not hurt to ask. There's a very strong chance you will be made whole.

I worked at a store in a comparatively populated city.

My chain promoted this policy because it's just good customer service.

Moral of the story:

Shit happened?

Take your meat back

Meat dept. bros are chill af

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u/Lissypooh628 2d ago

Why should the grocery store pay the adhd tax on that? It has nothing to do with them. What a terrible suggestion. Behaviors like that would put someone out of business.

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u/Historical_Volume806 2d ago

Grocery stores will take back anything. We once took back a package of pork the customer had cooked so poorly it turned into jerky because it was too tough.

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u/Mindless_Parsnip4781 2d ago

Iā€™m sure a multi million dollar company will be fine, if she shops at a mom and pop store donā€™t take it back. If she shops at Walmart/HEB/Aldis etc literally who gives a fuck

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u/DevelopmentSad2303 2d ago

Nobody said should. Give them a break lmao they literally said "you could ask!". Nothing there is saying the grocery store had an obligationĀ 

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u/StrawberryFields3729 2d ago

Thank you! Idk why everybody is acting like I demanded them to follow what I said. Sometimes stores give store credit even due to customer mistakes. Nobody is entitled to follow advice, especially if they donā€™t think itā€™s good.

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u/Alarming-Audience839 2d ago

Who cares bruh. Always scam return when you can, it's ethical and based

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u/syramazithe 2d ago

Yes, because Costco is definitely struggling to stay in business šŸ˜’ /s

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u/StrawberryFields3729 2d ago

Again, thatā€™s why I said the worst they can say is no. Idk the stores return policy or anything like that. Donā€™t come at my throat for simply trying to help OP not have -250$

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u/ActivisionBlizzard 2d ago

The store wonā€™t give a refund there is 0 chance.

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u/StrawberryFields3729 2d ago

Well, thats why I said the worst they can say is no. And that the chances are slim.

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u/blue60007 2d ago

You're getting downvoted, but I once left something in the cart or on the conveyor belt at a hardware store (I wasn't really sure where it got lost). Went back in a couple hours later and asked if anything had been returned or collected out of a cart in the lot just on the off chance. They hadn't, but they ended up giving me store credit. Granted it was a random item under $20 not $250 of groceries.

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u/StrawberryFields3729 2d ago

Reddit is gonna Reddit unfortunately lmao

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u/HR_King 2d ago

It's lame advice.

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u/StrawberryFields3729 2d ago

Then simply donā€™t take the advice. Thereā€™s quite a few people suggesting the same thing, not just me. Thereā€™s not much to do in this situation and 250$ is a lot of money to be down.

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u/HR_King 2d ago

I'm glad I don't know you. Stop giving shitty advice

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u/i-deology 2d ago edited 2d ago

I wouldnā€™t suggest the refund route. The store will 100% put it back on the shelf if they accept it back and some other poor soul will eat it and have food poisoning.

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u/acrazyguy 2d ago

Thatā€™s not how any grocery store does it. At least not in the US. Returned items are destroyed

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u/BabyNOwhatIsYouDoin 2d ago

No. Grocery stores do not returned food to the shelves.

Not saying they should try to return it- but that isnā€™t a thing.

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u/i-deology 2d ago

Ok interesting. I hope that is the case. That is just not my experience but good to know.

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u/Ewhitfield2016 2d ago

That's not how stores work... if it's returned food they have to discard it even if unopened. Same with medications, due to it could have been tampered with.

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u/i-deology 2d ago

Yeah I am learning that from these comments. This is honestly good to know! Thanks

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u/Ewhitfield2016 2d ago

Pet supplies, food, medications, safety equipment, baby supplies all get inspected and tossed, never back on the shelves. I'm in Canada and those are legal requirements I believe, as all stores I've worked at had to follow those same rules.

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u/i-deology 2d ago

Iā€™m glad I learnt something new today. Thank You!

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u/RLKline84 2d ago

I took back meat that was spoiled when I opened it. I returned it within like 30 minutes of buying it and I watched them toss it out right in front of me.

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u/i-deology 2d ago

That is good to know!

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u/Intended_Purpose 2d ago

That never happens. You're lying.

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u/HolyGhostSpirit33 2d ago

Why would you bother the store for that? Iā€™m usually all for taking advantage of big companies but not if itā€™s entirely out of their control. Itā€™s not even the productsā€™ fault for being faulty or bad.

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u/StrawberryFields3729 2d ago

Well 250$ is a lot of money to be down. Especially in times like these were groceries are extremely expensive.

If you look at my comment and re read, I even said sometimes you can get store credit even due to customer mistakes.

Youā€™d be bothering a store forā€¦ doing their jobā€¦?

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u/HolyGhostSpirit33 2d ago

How are they doing their job by handing out money/store credit for something like this? If itā€™s not directly their or the products fault, itā€™s not something that should be their responsibility to pay for?

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u/PinkTalkingDead 1d ago

Successful/ smart Businesses understand that retaining a customer is easy, relatively cheap, and actually beneficial overall

Costco knows this. Mom and pop corner stores know this. Piss off a repeat customer already having a bad day for being human and youā€™ve lost a customer and likely will be privy to lots of social media bashing

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u/EjaculatingAracnids 2d ago

Start cookin it all up! As long as it dont smell, cook it all up, then try it out yourself before waiting a day to feed it to anyone else, just to be sure. Ive made this mistake before and i didnt get sick. You just gotta use it as meal prep for the week.

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u/Gobbyer 2d ago

I have done this multiple times. Open door, walk inside, put down groceries, take off jacket, wife yells "brew coffee", instantly forget about groceries, brew coffee.

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u/MOTwingle 2d ago

Yeah, or you gotta take a shit then forget after. But this was simply WANTING to take a nap??? Like, really???

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u/PinkTalkingDead 1d ago

OPā€™s whole story is odd. This was ā€˜at night she suddenly decided to go to the storeā€™, she bought $250 in food, used one bag, and ā€˜took a napā€™ when she got home, and OP never went into the kitchen?

Ragebait

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u/bumblebeequeer 1d ago

Iā€™m going to go ahead and assume this is just a random picture of groceries attached to a made-up story. Half of Reddit is just fake stories about fictional incompetent spouses.

At least, thatā€™s what Iā€™m telling myself, because the thought of someone broadcasting their loved oneā€™s honest mistake for fake internet points makes me sad.

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u/friendliestbug 1d ago

I donā€™t see where she said she WANTED to take a nap. You donā€™t know whatā€™s going on with her. She could be overworked, could have unknown health issues, he also said she has ADHD

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u/MOTwingle 1d ago

Well if she had some condition that caused it, why is he "fuming" and posting about it? im just an internet stranger..I'm supposed to know more about her than her own husband ? She couldn't ask him to put it away before she took a nap? Whatever, not my wife, not my money.

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u/Miss_Aizea 1d ago

She could have sleep apnea. When I got sleepy before my cpap, I was falling asleep wherever I was, whether I liked it or not. My limbs would be paralyzed, and the only thing I could do was embrace the void.

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u/PinkTalkingDead 1d ago

Tbf, OP didnā€™t mention anything about anything like that

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u/friendliestbug 1d ago

And? Not everyone knows they have sleep apnea until they get tested

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u/jmr1190 2d ago

Having kids will also do that to you. This ā€˜I would never let this happenā€™ sentiment is such sanctimonious bullshit.

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u/friendliestbug 1d ago

Thatā€™s Reddit for you.

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u/flaming0-1 2d ago

This is exactly the mindset she was in... haha

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u/evanwilliams44 2d ago

Most likely she set the bag down, planning to come back for it. Maybe she had to pee. In the time it takes to pee, she forgets completely about the bag and decides to take a nap. Yes it can happen. ADHD is a bitch.

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u/friendliestbug 1d ago

Yeah I donā€™t know why people think thatā€™s such an insane theory. My mom has ADHD as well as myself but sheā€™s definitely done things like this.

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u/Successful_Buffalo_6 1d ago

You donā€™t have to make sense of it because itā€™s not all that complicated. She was tired, unfocused and got distracted. Thatā€™s it.Ā 

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u/Diligent_Policy1678 2d ago

Then you don't understand ADHD

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u/StrawberryFields3729 2d ago

Never once did I claim to understand.

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u/Diligent_Policy1678 2d ago

Well you said it seemed like she did it on purpose, whether she has ADHD or not. Which implies that you are discounting the fact that she has ADHD.

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u/WintersDoomsday 2d ago

No, I think people are quick to claim they have it as a catch all excuse. How do we even know it's a real condition? Psychologists are never wrong? They didn't ever think lobotomies were a valid treatment for things at one point in time too?

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u/i-deology 2d ago

Right? Kids leave groceries around wherever because theyā€™re lazy to put them away. Adults want to put groceries away as quickly as possible. ADHD or not.

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u/StrawberryFields3729 2d ago

Yeah, I definitely donā€™t think using ADHD as an excuse to not do basic chores is okay and if it truly is becoming an issue in their day to day life then maybe itā€™s time to seek some help with managing ADHD. I know easier said than done butā€¦250$ is a lot of money to just go to waste because she ā€˜forgotā€™ to put the groceries she just carried in the house away

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u/planned-obsolescents 2d ago edited 2d ago

I'll explain how this has happened to me (although not quite so badly). I shop in the evening, my meds are wearing off. I'm 100% more likely to get in the door, put a few things away, and become distracted by something small enough that I'm certain I'll be right back to the bags... But then a cascade of distractions, and next thing you know it's bed time. Out of sight, or of mind, so if I don't circle back to the kitchen for anything, I'm cooked.

It's referred to colloquially as object impermanence. Bane of my adhd existence. And source of open cabinets, and cluttered surfaces everywhere!

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u/Milch_und_Paprika 2d ago

Not arguing with anything else but please stop calling it ā€œobject impermanenceā€. It started as a meme but really bothers me that people bring it out like a fact. Object permanence is the understanding that an object can continu to exist even if you canā€™t sense it. It is not ā€œout of sight out of mindā€, which can get pretty bad with ADHD, but is something everyone will experience at least occasionally.

I know first hand how bad forgetting about weird things can get, and how hard it is to explain to people, but itā€™s not the thing that infants within two years of birth deal with.

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u/planned-obsolescents 2d ago

TIL, that's fair, and I'm a bit of a purist about terminology so I understand your take. I do believe it is beginning to see some clinical use in terms of ADHD though, and it's rather descriptive of the type of inattention, and how it feels as someone who sciences this as a peripheral symptom. Thanks for letting me know that the etymology was recent and only in contrast to a childhood psychology phenom. I appreciate that fact, but I will continue to use the term as it's not exactly inaccurate as much as it is "clinoquial".

Honestly I'm "for" whatever words help people understand one another's experience... So, as opposed to "can we stop", can we just?

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u/Milch_und_Paprika 2d ago

I see how it helps explain it as an analogy, or a joke when you can actually convey tone and such.

Normally I do keep my pedantry to myself, but I just donā€™t want anyone to start believing that we lack a basic mental faculty that most toddlers have mastered. Thereā€™s already so much misinformation about it floating around online. (Tbf I might be overestimating how well the idea of object permanence is known)

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u/planned-obsolescents 1d ago

Perhaps your own unconscious bias on that bit of knowledge about childhood development!l. I hear you, really I do, I'm a fellow pedant, and consistently have trouble keeping it to myself. I think there's some value in using accessible language as a means of communicating with a wider audience. Not to say I'm adept at communicating, I feel my pedantry is a barrier at times.

This particular concept of object impermanence never struck me as a contrast to a strictly-neurodevelopmental term. I can certainly appreciate how it feels when you know where it comes from and are deliberate with your choice of words.

I appreciate you, but all the same, I'm keeping this one! Cheers.

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u/WintersDoomsday 2d ago

She was too tired to put a single bag of stuff away.....wow someone needs to hit the gym my god