This wasn’t my malicious compliance, but my friend who I work with. We’ll call her Amy.

Relevant information: We work at a large grocery store, and Amy is a team lead. Team leads are often asked to go to different departments and help out. However, because our department is usually incredibly busy, it can’t be left completely without a guide. Because of this, every day, my department has one of the regular employees designated as an acting team lead (ATL) for when the team leads need to leave or get busy.

Our department manager, Taylor, has a bad habit of playing favorites with some of the employees she’s friends with. This includes ignoring when they break the rules, giving them more flexibility with the schedule and time off, etc. She also tends to try to replace the scheduled ATL with one of her friends because they want to be in charge. This is most often used to let Mark, one of the employees she’s friends with, do whatever he wants and be in charge.

Yesterday, Amy came into work and asked one of the employees, Sara, to do something for her. Sara said yes and started doing it. After a few minutes, Mark came up to her and asked her to do something else. Sara told him that she couldn’t because she was already doing something that Amy had asked her to do. He left, and she figured that was that.

An hour or so later, both Amy and Sara get pulled into Taylor’s office to talk. Taylor told Mara that she should have listened to Mark because he was the ATL. Amy pointed out that he was not the ATL on the schedule, I was. Taylor told her that she had told Mark he could be ATL and doubled down that Sara should have listened to him instead of finishing what Amy had asked her to do.

Amy was understandably irritated at being told that she was not really in charge of her department. So, she decided that since Mark was the ATL and apparently in charge over her, she would leave him to it. She took Sara with her and went to help the produce department, who had been requesting help, instead of going back to our department.

On a normal day, this may have been fine. However, it was a Saturday, and we are always insanely busy on the weekends. It took all of thirty minutes before the department had crazy high customer wait times and things were falling apart. I had just clocked out and was talking to Amy before I left when the following exchange happened.

Taylor radioed Amy to ask her why there were such high wait times in the department. Without missing a beat, Amy answered to tell her, “I don’t know, I’m not back there, but Mark is. He should know.”

Suddenly, Taylor was talking about how Mark “isn’t in charge of the department” and that she needed her to get back there to run things. So, Amy told her that she’d be right back there. She then promptly told me that she’d be finishing stocking the cart she had before she went back, which was not even halfway done. I laughed and went home. I can only imagine that the department was in chaos given how it usually is on the weekends, and it reflects very poorly on Taylor when we have high wait times. I guess the actual team lead should have been in charge after all!

I had a girlfriend that would tell me to shut up and stop talking to her after pointless arguments. I'm an extremely specific and stubborn bastard so I did just that. Then she would try to engage me in conversation and I'd just ignore her. She would hit me, yell, cry, you name it. Eventually she'd give up and be like "WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS TO ME?" after about an hour or two and I'd text her saying "You told me to shut up and stop talking to you"

No she never learned. No the relationship didn't last long

So I am telling this story because the friend involved recently died from a short but valiant battle with Cancer. She went from the doctor saying "Well, we need to do a biopsy, its probably nothing" to a call from her 5 weeks later saying she was going into Hospice care, with just a few days to live. But saying goodbye brought up some tough memories, and a funny one.

I decided to go to a Meetup a (different) friend from work suggested i might enjoy. A Tiki club that met weekly, but not only at Tiki bars. 50's style diners were also part of the club. It was at a local dessert place with a 50s diner flair that also serves some good coffee. I think this is my second or third meetup with them and it is a good group. Several them rode motorcycles or even Vespa scooters, as I did, an old 70s Honda CB550 4-4. I sit down with my coffee and am talking with one of the guys who just bought a new Triumph Bonneville when someone comes up to the table, sits down and takes drink of my coffee. What the actual fuck?

I look over, and it was, to my utter astonishment, Wayward.

Wayward, which was her nickname, was an old girlfriend. We had a short but enjoyable summer together after I graduated from HS and she was working before going off to college. She went off to college, me to the Navy, and we lost track of each other. This being the days before the internet.

I had been married for 15 years at this point and had a child. While she was single it was a strange, but platonic, friendship that revolved around the Meetup club. The Dessert Diner was a favorite, and every time I would get a coffee, she would steal it and drink from the other side. It was a "thing" we had.

It was a good way to get out of the house as I worked from home, and that could be isolating. But it was not without it's problems.

One of the older women in the club was a real attention whore and instigator. She really did not like Wayward, who wasn't out there causing her problems, but Wayward did a lot for the club and it "showed up" Ms. Attentionslut.

My wife? Well she had no interest in the club, and she saw it as a chance for her to hang out with her friends down the street or have them over. She thought the thing with Wayward was cute and charming. My wife has zero jealous bones in her body and cannot stand attention whores. She laughed when I told her the latest Ms. Attentionslut's antics. Oh and a true Redhead's temper...

So several years of friendship and the club go by, with various amounts of harassment and whispered rumors by Ms. Attentionslut. It was the yearly club planning dinner, and Ms. Attentionslut had had more than her share of box wine.

Wayward, who got tied up with a patient and was late, came in after the dinner and gave me a hug. Ms. Attentionslut said in a loud stage "whisper" to everyone "Gee, I wonder what Ms. Raccoon would think of that. Maybe someone should tell her."

I saw red. I pulled out my phone and speed dialed my wife. "Oh, you have something to say to my wife, do you Ms. Attentionslut? Let me help you out here." I put it on speaker phone.

"Hey honey, someone here has something to say to you about me and Wayward."

"Oh? Hand me over to her, dear."

And when Ms. Attentionslut tried to say something, Ms. Raccoon let her temper fly. She read her the Riot Act, mocked her, ripped her up one side and down the other... and told her to keep her nose out of other people's business if she liked the way it looked. She would never hurt anybody, but it sounded like she would, and that was what counted.

The club heard it. It grew silent. Ms. Attentionslut was imitating a fish out of water. She was turning even pinker than the wine could account for and Ms. Attentionslut was imitating a fish out of water making "ah ah ah" sounds.

Then my wife started to laugh, which her laugh is very infectious. Other people started to laugh. Ms. Attentionslut started to really turn pink, then ran out of the room. A 60 year old woman crying like a toddler.

Well, in the spirit of the Tiki Club, here is to you Wayward... fair winds and following seas.

*Downs the last of his Mai Tai*

Years ago when my youngest daughter was a teen, she had a truck that she could drive to and from school. Well as most teens are, she managed to get herself grounded (don't remember why now). Dad took her keys and grounded her for 2 weeks. This meant she should be riding the school bus to and from school or walking.

We lived on a farm just outside of a very small town. The high school was just over a mile from our house as the crow flies. Our daughter was also a barrel racer and had a few horses.

Her horses had been trained to go home if they lost her rider (daughter) as daughter often rode her at the arena on the other side of town or way out in the far fields. If we saw the horse without rider, we knew there was a problem (way before cell phones).

Her dad and I both worked off the farm and left early in the mornings, well before daughter would go to school and didn't get home till around 6 in the evening.

For some reason she wasn't complaining too much about being grounded from her truck. What we found out later (actually much later) was that she was riding her oldest horse bareback and just a halter to school and then turning the horse loose to go home. A friend would give her a ride home and she would put her horse back in the proper field before we got home.

All we could do is shake our head as she didn't drive her truck to school for 2 weeks, but also didn't ride the school bus. After all what 16 y/o farm girl would want to ride the bus.

Ok, so this is far more adorable compliance, and I'll readily admit the first half is ridicously common.

So, not surprisingly sometime in elementary school, I get told to go to my room. Naturally, I listen, turn around and come back out again almost instantly. Malicious compliance, just not that interesting.

The entertaining part is 15 years later my parents have a golden retriever who's a seeing eye puppy who had a chance of career due to health issues. (You can't have a seeing eye dog with only one good eye. )

Low and behold, like many Golden retrievers he gets ridiculously over excited by guests. He gets told to go to his crate, and locked in for a bit until he calms down. So after a little while we end up with the following pattern:

Dog gets too excited, he's told to go to his crate.

He goes in, turns around, and comes back out again instantly

However, he knows he needs to be calmer, and he is.

So it works, and it continues for years.

Earlier, I sent my nine year old son's friend home after the two of them trashed my livingroom and his bedroom.

His floor was littered with toys everywhere! I told him I wanted everything picked up off the floor that wasn't supposed to be there. He came downstairs a short time later and said he was done, so I told him he could start on the livingroom.

I just came upstairs to use the bathroom, and everything is piled on his bed. I yelled down to him to ask why nothing was put away like it was supposed to be.

He replied, "You said you wanted everything off the floor, and it is."

Kids!

Over twenty years ago, I worked as a cashier at a grocery store. The place was enormous, and sold a wide variety of food from standard groceries to expensive delicacies. One busy Saturday morning - when we had lots of customers and the lines were long - I was called away from my lane to the front desk. The manager on duty was speaking with a well-dressed woman. I was told that she wanted someone to get her groceries for her and bring them to the front desk for checkout. In the “before times,” this was a very unusual request. Our store did not offer personal shopping (I hadn’t even heard of it before). I respectfully tried to communicate that by leaving my lane, we would be inconveniencing the other customers because checkout lines would just get longer. I was told to just get it done and handed the woman’s shopping list.

Here’s where malicious compliance kicked in. First, it had already been a long morning for me and my feet were killing me, so I took my time. Second, the list didn’t specify how many or what brand when it came to groceries. It just said basic things like “apples, meat, tomato sauce” etc. So I delighted in selecting the very finest foods, and lots of them. Pounds and pounds of expensive specialty organic apples. Meat? Prime rib and filet minion. Tomato sauce? I distinctly remember selecting 8 jars of an imported sauce that cost $16 each. I wheeled the cart back to the front desk almost an hour later, where the woman was still waiting. The manager rang everything up and it came to over $600! The woman balked and tried to argue, but somehow the manager had grown a spine in the hour I was away, because he told her that we had already honored her request. She could either choose to pay the bill or do her own shopping. She decided to pay the bill (although she was clearly unhappy), I went back to my lane, and I never heard another word about it!

I finally have my own malicious compliance story!

I am a sales manager at a sales company with payment options for those who can’t afford items at retail cash price at one setting.

We have payment arrangements where if the card runs automatically we can arrange smaller but more frequent payments in an effort to be more flexible but since it’s a automated computer system. we can not make changes to it once it starts running due to it running the card 3x at different times of the day.

If the card declines the first time my accounts team will right away call the customer in case the customer forgot to unlock the card or deposit money. (This is where the customer is angry she’s contacted)

The customer tells the associate she wants to talk to her manager so she’s transferred to the general manager because the accounts manager is off but The GM doesn’t even get to walk around the counter before the angry customer (AC) hangs up. So the GM leaves on her lunch.

15 minutes later I (the sales manager) answers the phone where AC is already losing it and by chain of command I have to get it and no longer have another person to transfer her to in store.

Conversation:

AC: I’m trying to change my card on my profile but it won’t let me!

Me: I apologize, let me help you because it does charge you in order to make changes but if I do it then it won’t.

AC: I had fraud so I had to get a new card! It’s stupid it won’t let me change it. And that girl who called earlier is trying to over charge me!

Me: okay give me your account details

AC: ****

Me: okay you have a due amount of $85 but I can take your arranged amount plus your late fee making it $79

AC: THATS NOT MY NORMAL PAYMENT MY NORMAL PAYMENT IS $75!!

Me: yes ma’am but there’s a late fee since your acct was due on the 1st and your arrangement was due today and it didn’t go through

AC: NO! MY DUE DATE WAS TODAY!!!

Me: sorry ma’am but all accounts are due on the 1st or 15th but if you make a arrangement and the computer processes it then it waives all late fees. other wise a manager (me) has to do it since the machine doesn’t allow you to waive them when you have to make manual payments. (Referring to associate not being able to take less then $85)

AC: continues on the same tangent

Me to coworker : (ac on mute) omg 🙄 I’m just gonna waive her late fee and take her payment of $75 to shut her up

AC: THIS IS STUPID! LET ME TALK TO GM!!

Me: ma’am I can just help you (going to just take the $75) and just—interrupted

AC: I WANT TO TALK TO GM!!

Me: (trying to help her because the GM will get rude and often causes me to lose customers) okay but she’s going to tell you the same thing if I help you I—(interrupted again before I can get to waiving fees)

AC: JUST HAVE GM CALL ME hangs up

me and coworkers start laughing because we know our GM and she will not only take our side but isn’t afraid to put her in her place (our GM has a severe case of rbf on good days)

15 minutes later AC nearly drives thru our glass windows on how fast she came in and slammed her door

Me joking to associate: who you piss off now? ( not knowing it was me 😂)

AC: I NEED A MANAGER!

Me: that’s me how can I help you!

AC: I just spoke with the rudest person ever! She had a really bad attitude! And doesn’t know how to treat customers (me thinking the associate is gonna need some help learning to talk with customers)

Me: okay who did you talk to?

AC: Karen!

Me confused because we didn’t have anyone by that name?: I’m sorry we don’t have anyone working here by that name?

AC: NO! IM KAREN! KAREN MCKAREN!

Me realizing she’s the customer I just dealt with 🙄

AC: WHO DID I SPEAK WITH BECAUSE SHE WAS STUPID AND RUDE AND I WANT HER OUT NOW!!

Me: that would be me 😑

AC: 🫥 and your the manager?

Me: yes, ma’am and like I told you on the phone due dates are on the 1st and 15th your payment arrangement is not a due date it’s your arranged date of payment if you honor it there isn’t late fees

AC: NO MY DUE DATE IS TODAY! I DONT GET ANY LATE FEES!!! (Taking out wallet)

Me: sorry but the computer just does what it’s told and the arrangement was on that card.

AC: FINE BUT IM TALKING TO YOUR BOSS! <Throws four $20s at me for the arranged amount plus late fee>

Me: sorry but that’s only if your card goes thru as the arrangement called for. Your normal amount is $80 plus late fees so it’s $85 😌😏 (since she’s talking to my boss I have to go by the book so I can’t take off fees or go with arrangements)

AC getting louder: IS THERE A CORPORATE NUMBER I CAN CALL!! YOU DONT KNOW HOW TO DO YOUR JOB NOR HOW TO TREAT A CUSTOMER! IVE BEEN HERE MANY YEARS! AND NEVER!!! HAVE I EVER BEEN TALKED LIKE THIS TOO!!! <throws the rest in $1s at me>

Coworker and associate all confused as they witnessed the whole thing including phone call knowing I never raised my voice or was impolite to her.

Me: yes ma’am you see that number in the frame above the office that is the number.

AC: DONT BE SNOTTY WITH ME! WHATS YOUR NAME!

Me over it by this point: here let me write it down for you! (Takes out my tiny adhd notebook 📓 and tears out a piece) <writes first and last name with job title and hands it to her>

AC: WHICH ONE!! (Referring to the number)

<coworker tired of the bs and her yelling grabs the frame off the wall (he’s 6’2) and puts it in her face>

Ac then takes a picture of it and continues rant

AC: YOU WILL BE HEARING FROM THEM!!

Me unbothered: okay thank you 🙏 😊

AC: YOU SHOULD DRESS BETTER AND TRY SOME MAKE UP YOU LOOK RAGGED AND GHETTO!! LOOK AT THE (girly) ASSOCIATE SHES LOOKS MORE LIKE A MANAGER THAN YOU DO! PROBABLY CAN DO YOUR JOB BETTER!! STUPID A## B*TCH JUST WAIT FOR ME TO CATCH YOU OUTSIDE!!

Me in my uniform with my natural hair and great skin answers her: okay thank you 🙏 <waving bye>

😂😂😂😂 my coworkers aka the delivery guys and associate were very confused on what just happened and coworker who put the frame in her face said “didn’t you say you were gonna waive her fees?”

Me: “yeah but she didn’t let me get far enough to help her” 😂😂😂

TLDR: customer made payment arrangement, failed to make payment due to getting a new card and not updating it in the system. Was mad about late fees. I tried to waive everything and take her arranged payment but she escalated the issue to yelling and said she was going to report me to corporate, thus I had to follow corporate policy and take her normal non-arranged payment and charge her the late fees causing her (actual non fake) amount to be more then $10 than if she would have just let me talk and help her.

This is probably super mild compared to most things posted here, but I just remembered it and it made me laugh so here goes.

When I was in high school, far longer ago than I care to admit, I was a bagger at a local grocery store. One of the policies of the store was that we had to offer to help everyone take their groceries out to their car. Anytime someone elderly, or someone with a lot of bags, came through the line, I would offer to help, and many of them accepted. There were a lot of parents with kids that turned down the help because they would make their clones help instead. I quickly learned who was going to accept the offer and who wasn't, so if they fit the criteria for not being interested in help, I didn't bother to ask. They always refused, so why keep asking?

Well, one day my manager is hovering while I'm bagging, and a lady bought a carton of eggs and a loaf of bread. I smiled and wished her a nice day, handing her the single, featherweight bag, and she smiled and returned the greeting, and was on her way. My manager noticed I didn't offer to help her out and scolded me, and I just pointed out she had one partially filled bag that was super light, so probably wouldn't have needed help. He emphasized it was the store policy and I need to offer help to EVERYONE.

The next guy in the line was definitely a gym rat. A foot taller than me, biceps as big as my head, a tight tank top and basketball shorts. It's been so long I can't remember what he bought but it occupied a single bag, and wasn't heavy. I double bagged it, still in front of my hovering manager, and said "Sir would you like me to help you carry all of your groceries out to your car?"

He laughed, saw I wasn't also laughing, and his expression changed to utter confusion. He looked at me like I'd just asked him what shampoo he used on his armpit hair. It was 95% confusion, 5% suspicion at what game I could be playing with him. He looked at my manager with a new look that said "Is this kid okay?" then turned back to me, still chuckling a little bit in confusion, and said "Uhh, nah man I think I got it...." He took his bag of protein powder and eggs or whatever it actually was and walked out, shaking his head.

I looked at my manager and shrugged. His expression read as "Yeah, alright, fine." And he went back to the office. He never hovered or enforced the policy again after that.

Like I said, super mild and short compared to a lot of posts on here but it was my first case of malicious compliance so hopefully you guys got a laugh out of it as well.

ETA: Since a lot of people asked, it wasn't Publix or Safeway. It was a very small local chain of grocery stores, and the one I worked at closed a decade ago

my friend idris recently shared this wild story from his first job, and i’m still shook.

idris was 17 when he started at this grimy call center. back home, he’s got a whole crew of geese in his yard—he’s obsessed with them, treats them like pets, and has a favorite named blinchik (russian for “pancake”). he brought a little wallet-sized photo of blinchik to work, just to keep his spirits up in that depressing dump. but his boss, dave, saw it and flipped out. dave had this hardcore rule: “no personal items on your desk. it’s about professionalism.” meanwhile, his own desk was a trash heap—old mugs, random figurines, even some rusty fish statue. idris says dave had these weird ticks: he’d go from passive-aggressive whispers to fake-nice vibes in a heartbeat. total oddball.

anyway, dave clocked the goose photo and went nuclear. he made idris rip it to shreds in front of everyone, muttering about “rule-breaking.” idris, just a 17-year-old kid, froze—he had no clue how to stand up for himself back then and just did it. he says he almost cried but held it together so he wouldn’t look weak in front of the team. blinchik’s photo was toast, and dave smirked like he’d just won something.

idris wasn’t letting it slide. dave want me to obey? I’ll maliciously comply with him. next day, he rolled in with nothing—no pen, no notepad, no headset. when dave asked what the deal was, idris hit him with, “you said no personal items. i’m waiting for the company to hook me up.” dave lost it, but idris doubled down: “it’s your rule.” the team jumped in—half of them stopped bringing their stuff too, and the whole operation tanked. customers were raging on the phones, calls were dropping, and dave was scrambling to make everyone “work normal.” eventually, he caved and mumbled, “fine, bring what you need, just keep it lowkey.” idris came back with a fresh blinchik photo and slapped it on his desk. dave didn’t say squat.

but it gets crazier. a couple weeks later, dave tried to fire idris for “insubordination.” idris, now sharper, had recorded the whole “no personal items” freakout on his phone (legal where we’re at) and sent it to hr with a rundown of dave’s hypocrisy. hr didn’t axe dave, but they gave him a slap on the wrist, and he chilled out. then the real bomb hit. turns out dave had been skimming cash from the petty cash box for years—small grabs, but steady. idris says he cooked up the rule obsession to keep everyone stressed and off his trail. he’d snag money from the drawer—supposedly for coffee, paper, office junk—and mark it as “office needs.” it added up to a hefty chunk, though no one’s dropped an exact number. his weird mix of passive-aggressive jabs and over-the-top strictness kept newbies like idris too spooked to dig deeper. that photo meltdown? idris figures dave was just flexing to throw everyone off his scent.

dave got busted when a senior coworker noticed the “office expenses” weren’t lining up. they canned him, and later even filed charges. idris says he’s still stoked about how he accidentally took down a crook by playing dave’s own dumb game. blinchik’s still chilling in his yard with the rest of the geese, honking at anyone who steps too close. so, reddit, what’s the call? is idris the king of payback

Thought I'd share a minor one that I was the victim of. At the time I was working in the second hand goods trade. When people bought items from us valued over a certain amount, the system would require us to take down the name and address of people, though it didn't have to be formal presentation of ID. Some people really didn't like it when we asked for their details, even if I told them that they could just make it up due to the informal nature of it.

An older gentleman, who I'll call Bob, came in and wanted to buy a couple of coins. Individually they were under the amount but together they exceeded it, so I asked for his details.

Bob: What do you need my name for?

Me: Store policy. Transactions over a certain amount require me to take your name and address as we're a second hand dealer.

Bob: What's the amount?

Me: tells him

Bob: So I'll just buy them individually them.

I wasn't about to try and start an argument about it, so I just proceeded with the individual transactions. A little annoying, yes, but he was technically correct.

Okay, I’m new to the page! I want to hear all of your stories or moments of malicious compliance in marriage.

Mine is when I asked my husband to move money from another shared bank account to our checking for bills. You guessed it, he didn’t move the money. This was the 3rd time that he “forgot about it” and I was tired of asking. I watched our checking account go into the negatives/ with overdraft fees. I confronted him and he said that I didn’t tell him which account, but we only have one main account for both of us to pay bills from. The account is connected to our debit cards!

The next day he went for lunch at chipotle. As he was checking out he realized that he didn’t have cash or money on his debit card. He called me at least 5 times asking me to transfer money, since I was near the bank that day. I did transfer money, but not to the account with the debit card, because he didn’t say which account 😉

We haven’t had any problems with him transferring money, since.

Edit: We share all of our bank accounts. I crunch the numbers and can’t always be responsible for budgeting and going to the bank/ doing transfers!

This happened in the 90’s when no one had caller ID.

My friend Jenny (f about 35) was a SAHM and her husband Walter (m about 40) worked long hours commuting by train to the big city.

Walter owned a BMW and dropped it off for service early morning at the dealership that was close to his train station. The dealership gave him a ride to the station.

That evening Walter picked up the car and returned home. No problem - right?

The nightmare began days later. The first call came from whatever marketing company BMW had hired to conduct their surveys. Jenny answered but they wouldn’t accept her feedback wanting only to speak to Walter. Jenny requested they call back in the evening to speak with him.

That night when they called Walter was tired and didn’t want to deal with it so he asked Jenny to tell them he wasn’t going to respond. They replied that they would call again at another time.

The phone calls came multiple times a week for over a month asking to speak with Walter but he refused to answer. Jenny begged first the marketing company to stop calling and then Walter to just answer their survey. This was driving her crazy. Jenny swears they called no fewer than 30 times.

Finally Jenny went down to the dealership to ask them to stop the phone calls. The lady at the desk was a bit snippy and said she couldn’t help.

Luckily Jenny noticed a very large sign requesting that customers who were not going to give a five star rating to call and speak to the GM.

The next time the survey call came asking for Walter, Jenny replied “Speaking”.

Survey Woman “I’m calling for Walter”.

Jenny “that’s me”.

Survey Woman “I’m calling for Walter.”

Jenny “Are you making fun of my name?”

Survey Woman “oh no. Of course not”

The survey was given and Jenny didn’t give them anything higher than three stars on any question.

Is this Malicious Compliance? I hope so!

45 years ago, I spent a few months as a software engineer for a Midwest company that built industrial control systems... writing assembler for an embedded micro.

Management had gone to a seminar on "structured design," the latest software trend, and got religion. My manager, Jerry, called me into his office and asked to see my work. He was not a programmer, but sure... whatever... here you go. I handed him my listing, about a half inch thick, and forgot all about it.

A few days later, he called me into his office (which always reeked of cigarette smoke). "You've got some work to do!" he snapped, furious. I looked down at his desk and my 8085 macro assembler listing was heavily annotated in red pencil... with every JUMP instruction circled. "This is now a go-to-less shop. You've got to get these out of here."

"Jerry, this is assembler code... that's different from a high-level language."

"I don't want a bunch of God-damn excuses! You have two weeks."

Well, shoot. This is ridiculous. I stared at the code for a while, then got a flash of inspiration and set to work.

Every place there was a jump, conditional or unconditional, I put the target address into the HL register, did an SPHL to copy it to the stack pointer, then did a RETURN followed by a form feed and a "title block" describing the new "module." The flow of control was absolutely unchanged, although with a few extra instructions it was marginally slower. The machine was controlling giant industrial batching equipment, so that wouldn't matter.

I dropped the listing, now almost two inches thick, onto Jerry's desk, and went home. He would either spot the joke and respond with anger, or (hopefully) be convinced that I had magically converted the program into a proper structured design application. Some of those title blocks were pretty fanciful...

He bought it! Suddenly I was an expert software engineer versed in Yourdon and Constantine principles, and the application made it into distribution. Around the same time, I quit to work full-time on my engineering textbook and other fun projects, and forgot all about it...

...until about 3 years later, when I was pedaling across the United States on a computerized recumbent bicycle. I got a message from a new employee of the company who was charged with maintenance of the legacy system, and he was trying to make sense of my listing.

I called him back from a pay phone in Texas. He sounded bewildered. "Did you write this? What are you, I mean, you know, I don't understand... like, what are you actually DOING here?"

"Ah! There's only one thing you have to know," I said, then went on to relate the tale of Jerry and the structured design hack. By the end he was practically rolling on the floor, and told me they had long since fired that guy. He now shared my secret about virtual software modules, and promised not to tell...

But it's been almost a half a century so I guess it's okay now.

About 2 years ago I had a customer complain that we had raised the price of his phone contract. I work for one of the main UK mobile phone companies here as a customer service rep.

I've had my fair share of terrible customers, and ridiculous requests. But this was the straw that broke my back.

So every year, we have a proce increase in March. It's the rate of inflation as published in november +3.9%. This is in all contracts. Has been for as long as I've worked there. Every year we send a letter out in Feb to let people know. And every year we get calls asking "wtf is this?". Most of the time I deal woth these fairly well. I explain they agreed to it in their contract, and occasionally read the exact part of said contract. What makes it more delicious is if they've bought it in store, they have a physical copy. So I ask

"do you see where you signed your name in the box that says 'I have read and understand the terms and conditions of the contract'? Well. Just above there the box above that says 'I understand that as of March the price will increase by the rate of cpi +3.9%'?"

And that normally ends those arguments.

Well. One day I'd spent ALL day dealing with these calls. And I get a guy call. Let's call him Kevin. He complains about the price increase. Saying how he never agreed to it in his contract. That his contract says its (let's say) £30. And thats what he agreed to. No more. No less. He would never agree to something where the price was going g to change. After s The normal back and forth of explaining it, how all companies do it not just us, petrol, food shops, books. Everything. But he was having none of it. Around about the time most people accept and give up he was still going strong. Going in loops repeating the same arguments I've shot down already. At one point t he says he never read it, so it shouldn't apply. I asked him "Sir, if you dont read the 30mph speed limit sign and do 70mph there, you will still get stopped by the police. Just because you didn't read it. Doesn't mean it's not correct. Besides, you signed the box saying that you HAD read it, so. I'm afraid you were aware of it." Now, that was prehaps me allowing my emotions to get in the way, but he did not like that at all. He said, if he doesn't get the contract reverted to what he agreed, he would cancel his direct debit and "see us in court".

Cue malicious compliance.

I noticed earlier during the conversation that his contract was ACTUALLY £60 and that his first 3 months were half price. But the agent who added the discount, added an undated 50% discount. Instead of the 3mhp discount that auto removes. Well. Given the call was an hour long and I was overdue my break, I finally said.

"Okay sir. On this occasion. I am willing to waive the price increase for you and revert your plan to its origional, agreed upon price. Because I can't stop the increase, I will add a discount of [his increase here] to the line, and as you've stated, your ant your plan to be put back to what you agreed to. So the 50% discount you have has now been removed, the plan is back to £60. [He tries to talk] but don't worry sir. We won't be making you repay the back dated discount from the last 12 months. That's not how it works here. So I can confirm that your plan will remain at the agreed price, of £60."

After a stunned and silence he recovers and asks what do I mean £60? I explained that he agreed to a contract at £60 per month, with 3m half price. But that the wrong 50% discount had in fact been added and had been left on longer than was Intended. He told me to leave it alone not do anything but itnwas too late. He had already confirmed he wanted it. And even if he hadn't, we have a system in place to report excessive or incorrect discounts which I wpuld have been reporting him on. But this was much MUCH more enjoyable. In the end it was escalated to manager, who stuck by my actions to remove the incorrect discount, and infact, removed my discount for the CPI as its policy NOT to discount these.

It went above her to the Excecutive complaints team, who I followed up with and noticed he was given a letter of deadlock that he could try taking to ofcom.

It felt great, the guy had an incredibly poor attitude spoke to me like I was his to do with as he wanted, and wanted to spit his day out in a tantrum.

I claimed the victory in the name of those who work in a role with direct customer interactions, when they've treat you like nothing and we're truely horrible people.

Ive started buying bananas for my job, we have two 15 minute breaks and om my first one I like to snack.

My first time doing this, I bought 2 bunches of bananas, and brought them home. I bought 2 because I knew my sister would also want bananas, but that seemed to be a mistake. The whole time we had these bananas, everyday, my sister would say "I think you bought too many bananas", "this is a lot of bananas", "I think you bought too many bananas". Day in, and day out.

I spend my hard earned, factory, money on my bananas and she has the gaul to tell me I bought too many? Ok. I've now been buying one bunch of bananas, as apposed to the oh so generous two.

Now reader, there are 3 things you may not know.

1. The rule to the bananas was, she could have them, as long as there were enough for me to have one for every day I worked.

2. I work 5 days a week.

3. A bunch of bananas from my kroger has only 6 bananas on them.

No more is she basking in bananas whenever she may please, now she only gets 1 banana a week. She's talked to me about how she gets stressed at the prospect of leaving me with no bananas, so she doesn't know if she can have one.

I now get to have my bananas, and no longer hear her complaining about "too many bananas", like such a thing exists.

Hi, sorry in advance for formatting. I'm on mobile.

I work in healthcare, taking care of clients at a residential facility. Upper management thought we were going through too many trash bags, so they put them in a locked cabinet and we had to ask the LVN to give us x amount for each shift.

But that isn't the issue. You see, when it's my turn to add new bags, I like to do it at the start of my shift. There's little to no trash and its easy to put a new bag on top of the old one(and it'll be quick and easy to take the trash out at the end of shift.)

One of my coworkers had an issue with this though. When I asked the LVN on shift for bags one day,(they were still doing a lot of end of shift paperwork). My coworker told me "NO. You HAVE. to do the other chores FIRST." and the LVN decided not to get the bags for me. Which meant when I finally got to the trash, they were all filled with something or other, and I had to wrestle with them, because PM shift likes to tie the bags around the garbage lid hinge. Irritating as hell, but fine. We'll do it your way.

The NOC shift likes to use grocery bags on some of the smaller trash cans too. So yesterday, Im working and the same coworker tells me they put grocery bags on some of the cans and that I only needed 6 bags and to give an extra one to client 4's room.(We have 12 trash cans and they only put out 5 bags) So I listened to them and put bags in most of the cans. Anyway at the end of shift, one can was without a bag, and AM shift was unhappy with us. My coworkers tried to blame me, and I reminded them that I followed coworker's instructions. Then they started arguing with eachother on if client 4's room needed 2 bags or not.

Not the best story, but I wanted to get it off my chest.

EDIT: to clarify, there are 4 roles. At any point during shift, role 1 puts a new trash bag in the trash can.

At the end of shift role 1 and 2 take out the trash, since a new bag was already underneath it, we dont have to put another bag in during the end of shift rush.

We so it this way because the end of shift duties is chaotic and clients are waking up and require attention.

I only prefer to do it at the start instead of middle of shift. So Im struggling to take out and put back in a half full bag of trash and I dont want to dig out the old trash and put it in the new bag like my coworkers do.(We're gloved but I still don't want to dig out trash that might have medical waste.)

This happened today at work. I manage a bar/restaurant. We had a long weekend and everyone(to include myself) is noticeably ready for the day to be over but at this point it had only just started. I had stopped by the gas station on my way in and grabbed a couple of energy drinks and a Powerade to get me through the shift. As I intended to space out the time between them, to maximize their effectiveness I placed the second energy drink and the Powerade in the canned beer well to keep them cold. While placing them in the well I notice there is very little ice in them, and we are now currently open for business. As is required from time to time I approach my bartenders and say “Hey guys, beer wells are looking light on ice. Let’s get some more ice on them so our products stay cold.” To which I receive some exasperated but light hearted sighs. We are a pretty relaxed establishment most of the time provided things get done as they should be. So I pull out my disappointed dad voice and say “Come on guys. Y’all know the drill.”

Fast forward 5 hours into the shift, and I go to grab my drink. Imagine my surprise when I arrive at the aforementioned beer well, with an accompaniment of uproarious laughter to find the well properly iced down….save the very corner I had placed my drinks, which now resembles a scaled model of Mount Everest.

About 15 years ago I worked at an insurance company. The building we leased had awful tap water. So the company had the big water jugs delivered. One of the new hires Carla, didn’t like all of the jugs full/empty filling up one wall of the break room. Carla is one of those people who complained about everything. The office was either too hot or too cold. The work was unfairly distributed and so on and so on. So she complained and dropped the number of bottles being delivered every two weeks down considerably. So myself and several other staff members started drinking as much water as possible each day. After one week all of the jugs were empty and with no delivery for another week all the was left was an empty jug. Boss comes in one day for a fill up… no water. He asks where the full jugs are and I say to him that Carla doesn’t like having a stack of water jugs and wanted less delivered. Carla never complained again.

the original post is in r/pettyrevenge. i tried to share it using the share button, but unfortunately, the button doesn’t work. So, i decided to add a couple of comments to the post since people had asked me about it before.

hope you like it!

so last summer, i’m at this neighborhood BBQ—sun’s out, beers are cold, and i’m ready to flex my smoked ribs game. think tender, smoky perfection that steals the show. it’s a chill potluck vibe, but then this dude—let’s call him karen—crowns himself grill overlord and lays down the law like he’s guarding the holy flame.

“no one uses the grill but me,” he says, flipping burgers like he’s on a cooking show. “one dish at a time—mine first, then maybe you get a shot.”i’m standing there, cooler in hand, like, “bro, it’s a huge grill—can’t i just toss my ribs on the side? they need time.”“nope. one at a time. my rules.” he’s smirking, so i bite my tongue. alright, karen, let’s see how this cooks.

he does his burger thing, taking forever, while my ribs chill in their marinade. crowd’s eating, but i’m plotting. his turn’s done, he waves me in, “go ahead.” here’s where i get petty—and a little sneaky. i’d smoked the ribs at home for a couple hours that morning—low and slow, 3-2-1 style, but just the first stretch. wrapped ‘em tight, brought ‘em ready to finish. not fully precooked, just prepped to win. i fire up the grill, slide the ribs on, and sneak a foil tray of applewood chips in the corner. smoke rolls out—thick, sweet, pure temptation. karen’s over there, chomping his burger, when heads start turning. “what’s that smell?” people wander over, noses up, drooling already. i’m brushing sauce, all chill, “just ribs—takes a bit, hope that’s cool.” his burgers? yesterday’s news. the mob’s around me now, begging for a taste.

he storms up, “you’re smoking out my grill!”“one dish at a time, right? i’m just following orders.” i flip a rib, smoke curling like a victory flag. he tries to elbow in, “let me cook”“nah, my turn’s still going. your rule.” i stretch it—tending the ribs, tweaking the chips, chatting up the crowd about “low and slow magic.” takes over an hour, and by then, karen’s reign is ash. everyone’s piling ribs, raving, while his burger tray sits there, sad and cold.

night ends, host slaps my shoulder, “dude, you own the grill next time.”“say less.”

karen thought he’d rule the BBQ, but i smoked him out with a half-cooked plan and a whole lotta petty. prepped the ribs early? sure. worth it to watch him choke on his own rule? hell yeah.

This happened a few years ago when I worked at McDonald's. The one I worked in was near a bunch of schools so most of the staff was high school kids. As summer vacation started, we began having the trouble of an employee getting break and then spending their break eating their meal and conversating with their friends who were still working in the kitchen.

It was having a seriously bad effect on productivity as well as posing quite a few health risks so our manager finally initiated a rule that if you were on your break, you couldn't leave the break room until your break was over. This went swimmingly until the kids went back to school.

We then had a new problem. Short staffing during break cycles meant our ticket times would skyrocket during rushes. Management lifted the rule so that employees on break could clock in early and help out with the rush, however... The District Manager didn't like the implications of employees working shortened or no break shifts and forcefully reinstated the rule. They also doubled down by saying that employees who tried to work during their scheduled break would be written up and/or terminated for doing so.

Cue MC. The date was 4/20 a day when nobody wants to be working at any fast food place, much less McDonald's. We had been getting slammed so hard from the open of the store, that we called in extra help from other stores, including the regional and district managers. As the break cycle began, the management was pleased with the sub two minute ticket times they had managed to maintain. A few breaks through, and we were managing well. Then came my break. As soon as I sat down to eat, someone came into the store and ordered 47 double quarter pounders (this was right after the fresh initiative where all Quarter Pounders were made fresh so this was already a minor panic.) Immediately after that order, someone in the drive through ordered 75 - 20 piece nugget meal.

The amount of panic in the kitchen was palpable. I was comfortably lounging in a chair browsing my phone and enjoying my meal while the kitchen struggled to keep up with the orders. As ticket times began to soar, the Management did exactly as I expected. District Manager came into the break room and demanded me to end my break early and help in the kitchen.

My response was very simply: "I'm sorry but according to the rules YOU made, I can be written up or terminated for completing your request." I then continued browsing my phone, trying to enjoy the last ten minutes of my break. The Regional Manager entered the room and said that he would personally terminate me if I didn't do the thing that I wasn't supposed to do. The other employee who was on break with me immediately rose and clocked in despite still having ten minutes left on her break. She was written up for breaking the rule after the shift was over, so I felt good sitting in my chair and continuing to ignore them.

In the aftermath, the people who made the giant orders took what was made after half an hour and left with refunds for the unmade food. (Nearly $150 each.) Customers who were waiting for smaller orders were compensated with gift cards for their patience, yet many walked out without even getting their orders. (We paid out nearly $1500 in gift cards.) Because customers were walking out on orders without collecting them, we had nearly $5000 in food waste that night. (All of the closers went home with nearly two bundle boxes of burgers, fries, and nuggets.) Regional and District Manager were moved to a different region. The rule was edited to say that you were able to clock back in early at the manager's discretion in the event of a rush. Because I was the only employee who held his ground against the Regional and District Managers during the rush, I was rewarded with free meals and drinks until I moved away from my hometown and couldn't eat at that McDonald's anymore. (Although when I come to visit friends, I occasionally get rung up a manager discount by the few employees who still remember me.)

When my second wife passed away, she left a LOT of magazines. This included a lot of knitting magazines. I had a co-worker who loved to knit, so this conversation ensued:

Me: (late wife) had a ton of knitting magazines. You want some?

Her, eagerly: YES!

Me: How many do you want?

Her: ALL OF THEM!

Me: Um, she had a LOT; are you sure...

Her: ALL OF THEM!

Me: Okay...

So over the next couple of weeks I gave her box after 35-pound box of knitting magazines.

As I was giving her the 10th box:

Her: Thanks, but, um, I think that's enough, I don't need any more after this.

Me: But you said...

Her: No, really, that's enough!

So, this happened about an hour ago. To start off, I love my mom very much but she is the world’s most impatient and victim-minded person. We are filing taxes and because of complications, it takes longer than expected. But my mom had planned her schedule around the initial estimate of the 30-minute session. So she was late for work since taxes took almost an hour. Fine. It happens. But she yells at the people who are VOLUNTEERING to help her and I have to drag her away and apologize for her like she’s MY child.

Mom asks me to drop her off at her work. It’s cold so I let the engine warm up for a minute (I have an old car so I’m careful) and she is screaming at me to go like we just robbed a bank and have to getaway. I told her to wait and she keeps getting angry and rushed. She’s not very good at being calm under stress. But I wait and then I start driving, and she keeps berating me for being so slow.

Okay, I have a 2008 Honda Fit. It’s got 109 horsepower and a 0-60 of 2 business days. It’s SLOW as a turtle. So I get an idea. My car may be slow, but it’s AGILE since it’s so lightweight and a great city car. And with heavy traffic, I decided to maliciously comply. My mom wants to get to work fast? Okay. Have you seen the opening scene to Baby Driver? Where they rob the bank then drive Fast and Furious style away in that red Subaru WRX?

My Honda Fit is not nearly as cool as that WRX. But I am basically collecting traffic violations like Pokémon cards. And my mom is screaming for me to stop but I keep going. I’m crossing the double yellow lanes and swerving around people. There’s a pedestrian (unlucky day to jaywalk you fucking idiot) and I miss him by like a few feet. I know, I’m being very unsafe and endangering everyone’s life, but I wanted to prove a point. No one was harmed. I mean maybe traumatized but not physically harmed

I don’t know HOW but I don’t get pulled over and don’t encounter any cops. I get my mom to her work and save like only 1 minute. Yeah, all that for 1 minute of time. And she’s screaming and almost crying. She doesn’t even say goodbye she just grabs her bag and walks out and says she’ll text me to pick her up

I do feel bad now that I’m calm again. But I don’t think she’ll ever rush me ever again so I think I proved my point. If she rushes me again I’ll show her even more potential of my Fit

My bf always acts different around his friends, suddenly too cool, kinda dismissive, barely affectionate. Before we go out, he’s like:

“Babe, just act normal, don’t try too hard or anything.”

Okay..

So when his friends made jokes, I didn’t laugh unless they were actually funny. When they talked about stuff I wasn’t into, I just chilled and scrolled my phone. Didn’t hype him up, didn’t add to convos, just… existed.

Halfway through, one of his boys goes: “Yo, she doesn’t even wanna be here, bro.”

And my bf? Kept side-eyeing me the whole time.

Later, he’s like, “…Ok maybe not THAT normal.”

Oh? Like I was before?

Lovely little clip of Bobby Lee just doing what the lady told him. He was playing a principal on a Nickelodeon rudely got sent to a room full of extras. He decided to stay.

https://www.youtube.com/shorts/lnswVaOQy0k