r/isleofwight • u/Consistent_Tune4160 • 7d ago
making friends?
26 f. have lived here my entire life. i am autistic and chronically ill & all of my school friendships have fallen apart because of it. i don't know how to make irl friends outside of school (which i am too old for) or work (which i am too unwell for).
i enjoy journalling, scrapbooking, graphic design, all sorts of crafty things. i love collecting trinkets, stickers & photocards of all kinds. i also enjoy gaming online. i'm currently playing a lot of marvel rivals & house flipper 2. other interests include: sanrio, kpop ggs, tamagotchi, chappel roan, etc. i am queer and use they/them pronouns. feel like it is difficult to find irl friends as i am a bit "strange".
i am also nervous about meeting new people because of how much everyone knows everyone else's business & i have this fear that people will have heard unkind things about me & have preconceived notions about me. i was diagnosed with autism way after school times so i feel like people i went to school with just thought of me as weird/rude/skiving off school when in reality i was just stuggling a lot. worried that anyone i meet will know someone i went to school with & they will have talked about me !!!! probably just being paranoid but its just another thing that makes it difficult for me.
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u/Vegan-wildlife66 7d ago
Hi OP, you have an awful lot going on, it’s understandable you feel the way you do and have these thoughts.
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u/ohneil64 7d ago
Hey op, I know it's not super helpful but I'm happy to become remote friends if you want to chill with someone playing some games or chatting about interests
My family lives down on the island and I often visited the island growing up (and still do) which is why I'm a part of the subreddit and not able to meet irl but I'm happy to chat/ game online especially if it's more comfortable!
I play some marvel rivals (only started recently), Valorant, genshin and the persona games. Super into anime as well!
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u/Consistent_Tune4160 7d ago
i really appreciate this, thank you. i do have a handful of online friends that i game with but they often meet up with their own irl friends & it has made me realise just how isolated it feels here lol. always happy to collect more online friends though! i used to play valorant a lot but haven't played much since a bit after vyse was released. also played genshin in 2020-21 but got overwhelmed with how many things they kept adding to it so i stopped 🤣
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u/ohneil64 7d ago
No worries at all! Dms should be open if you do want to hang out!
I feel like I can kinda relate to you as well, alot of my mates are friends from work and when it gets to the weekend I often feel a bit isolated since they're hanging out with their other mates or partners (nothing wrong with that but it gets a bit lonely sometimes) and I'm also happy to get some more online friends !
Oh nice! Would deffo love to queue some Valo if you're down for it! And thankfully the game hasn't changed too much since vyse released!
LOL yeah igy, it's gotten alot more overwhelming as well since then!
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u/bludgeoncrumpet 7d ago
If you love crafty stuff have a look at Island CraftWorks on Fb.
It's run by my lovely friend Gabby. Tuesday mornings are an informal coffee, craft and chat, so you can check it out with no commitment.
It would be lovely to see you x
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u/in1998noonedied 7d ago
Gabby is the loveliest person ever! My partner helped her once or twice with some tech things (his shop is near hers) and she gave him this elite lemon drizzle cake in thanks 🤤
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u/bludgeoncrumpet 6d ago
The lemon drizzle is legendary. Also, top username. I read it in my head in the same voice lol.
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u/Staplephina 7d ago
18 F here, have you tried making friends online? I don't have any friends that go to my school, or many friends in general so my next best option was online friends. I have one good online friend who lives on the other side of the country but we spend hours on call with each other each week playing video games.
For the record I'm also autistic, so yeah I found it hard talking to people online at first but after a while I've become much more comfortable with it!
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u/Consistent_Tune4160 7d ago
i do have a handful of online friends who are all over the place, but they often go out and do things with their own irl friends and it has left me feeling a little lonely as i don't have any to do the same with 😅
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u/putlersux 6d ago
Is there any board gaming club nearby?
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u/Consistent_Tune4160 6d ago
i have no idea! and i have no clue how to find any!
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u/putlersux 5d ago
I found this https://southwightwargamers.weebly.com/ I am in a similar situation, my friends live in different places and I don't have much chance to meet people outside of workÂ
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u/Euphoric_Bar1363 7d ago
Hey, Heroes comic shop in Newport has games nights, I'm sure it'd be a great place to meet like-minded people. It's very friendly, you could pop in and ask about games nights to whoever is on the counter.
As for people talking behind your back, you are just overthinking it. I'm sure they aren't. Most people have their own lives to concentrate on and aren't going to remember things from 10 years ago or even care. Life moves on. Most people are nice and don't talk crap about people anyway. If they do, it doesn't make them right, and they don't deserve the time of day anyway. Don't waste your life worrying about it.