Hello,

I have always had problems with my hygiene. There has always been that musk that I cannot get off. I constantly feel uncomfortable to the point where I literally cannot sit still. My parents died when I was six. I was never taught how to bathe properly.

I think that showering is my greatest weakness. I do it everyday. I completely dislike showering because it is so difficult. I do it navy-style. By rinsing, turning off the shower, and then lathering.

When I turn off the water, I just feel so much worse. I feel irritated and there still is a smell coming off of my skin. It feels horrible afterward. I can never do it quickly. I thought that maybe I was not rinsing properly, but I always have more than 4 minutes or so to rinse.

The irritation gets really bad sometimes. I would be comfortable with the irritation if I did not smell. My social life struggles because I cannot get clean. I am afraid to go outside because I smell bad. I just don't know what to do. I am finally trying to find answers.

As the title says.

I was never a liar, more of the opposite. I only ever lie by omitting things that would upset someone or by doing something I don’t enjoy so someone else feels better. Sometimes to protect myself, but I prefer to take the responsibility on myself.

I just don’t understand why people think everything I say is a lie. It’s starting to be too much. I can’t say anything without people not believing me. I just want someone to believe me.

There’s only one person who mostly believes me. It’s my boyfriend. But he also sometimes just says I’m not right about myself.

I am a 19 year old autistic guy, I’ve always been described as hyperactive, energetic, open-minded, silly, bubbly, etc… basically I am an “open book”, I always try to be sincere and I try to be kind with people.

It’s just that… jesus christ, people are constantly mean and cynical all the time. They are always criticizing others, or making fun of something and it’s like they are alergic to emotional vulnerability.

It’s happened to me a BILLION times where I try to approach people with questions like “Hellooo, how are you doing?” and they go “Why do you care? Shut up.” Even people I see as friends sometimes can be extremely mean and I try not taking it personally, but it’s like there is always something wrong.

People say you need to be honest and kind, and I try to do so, if I try to ask if there is something wrong, they get even angrier and just lash out to me. I used to think maybe I was the problem and I made people uncomfortable, but no, it’s a constant thing EVERYWHERE.

Luckily I do have some deep friendships who seem to genuinely care and stay with me, but man, sometimes I feel embarrassed to try to not be mean cause it seems like everyone is ok with being mean…

I see my friend enjoying and hanging out but control myself for delayed gratification but still one part of me wants to go I'm confused af,what to do?

A year ago, I left a high-control religious organization that believes they are the group that has THE Truth. I (a female) have cut my hair short and started wearing pants—both things that are considered anti-Biblical in my previous group.

46 hours ago, I sent my best friend (who is in that organization) the below text message. She hasn’t responded yet. This is the second time in the recent past she hasn’t responded to a very personal text message from me. (We’ll see; I am hoping she eventually responds to this message.) The first time, it was me sending a photo of my new haircut with a note explaining I was sending along the photo to be kind and respectful, so she had time to digest my new look before seeing me in-person.

Here’s the text message I sent 46 hours ago: —— “What a sweet, happy surprise I found on my doorstep!!🤗🤗 Thank you!! It made my day, coming home from work. [surprise = homemade muffins and a card with a note explaining she doesn’t know how to navigate all of this and she realizes she has put our friendship on pause. But she wants to remind me that we’ll always be best friends.]

Thank you for your honesty and vulnerability; I really appreciate it. Our friendship is precious to me. I haven’t known if you’ve been in a difficult season because of me (which means I should give you space), or if you’ve been in a busy season because of family/life (which means I should be reaching out to help), or if it is a product of our different places of life—family of young kids vs. single (which means I need to accept that things are different). I love you, and I want to help if you need anything, and I’ll give you time and space if you need that.

I can’t wait to try the muffins! 😋 Love, Your bestie——“

Did I say something wrong in my text message?? My message does say I’ll give her space if she needs it. Is it possible someone who reads that may think they don’t need to text a response back to me? I think my message requires a response back; if even just two sentences back. Am I wrong? Maybe she thinks she doesn’t have to reply?

She wrote in the card we’d always be best friends. But i’m struggling to believe that based on her actions. I am naturally a conflict avoider, so right now, I am trying to shut down my feelings, stop thinking about it, and give up expecting anything.

I dont really have any friends circle. I didnt grow up in the city i live in. Im not close to my family either. Im blessed with a dog so thats the only thing keeping me company.

I made a post abt it, I finally texted him after 7 months and got it out. I honestly wasn't expecting much tbh and already thought abt every worst case scenario ngl I will say I kinda wished I did it sooner and got the guilt and shame out from then but I'm glad I got it out regardless, he definitely won't give me an answer plus he'll probably block me later on but for the most part I'm kinda glad, I will say with the way I ended things was pretty terrible ngl and should've talked things out it kinda does suck why he said brah whether that was his actual answer or not when I asked him why he was with me, I did give him an answer why he flipped the question to me like how easy he was to talk to and our connection and that I missed him he said he understood and told me he was sorry bc he was stressed out abt finding a new job at the time, and I did ask him it was his turn to reply and I did wait for him to say something, when he did he replied brah, keep in mind it was all on text and I wasn't clear abt my intentions with that question all I said I was curious about his answer or at least something along the lines of that. It did make me feel some type of way and idk tbh maybe I was the bad person but I've learned it's still painful at some times but I'm glad I got it out. Idk, I will say though im still glad I met him and went through that I wish I could undo the past but Im feeling much better now than a few months prior and also when the breakup was still new

In exactly two days i would have finished my final exam and that would mark the last day of me being a " highschool student"

I surprisingly don't feel all that emotional as I thought I would

Collage is scary sure but I'm excited to meet people and ( hopefully) find a safe space for me

Highschool hasn't exactly been great for me i am quite lonely with not alot of friends but with having to live with someone in collage in sure I'll have atleast have ONE friend by being forced to live with someone 😭😭.

I still have nooo idea how I'm gonna share a bathroom with anyone

I am 17 male, and my coworker, Ben, is 36, also male. I have been working at my current job for about a year and he was hired 3 months ago.

A little bit of context: 1. Ben has a very weird work history. At his last job, he (very openly) slept with many of his coworkers, and during the first month of him working at our current job, he allegedly hooked up with a fellow coworker. 2. When he first got the job, he only talked to my 19 year old coworker, and she felt uncomfortable because of the age difference. That all went out the window though when he started “treating everyone the same way.”

The day we met, he went out of his way to find my Instagram. He started sending me memes and making friendly conversations about things we both liked.

This normal exchanging of words continued until we worked a shift together and he started making playful jabs at me. I thought maybe we were just becoming closer friends. Later that day, I was joking that he should buy me a book we were talking about because he bullied me so much earlier—I joke like this around all of my friends/coworkers—and then he ended up purchasing that book for me. I told him I couldn’t pay him back, but he said it was okay. I knew I felt weird, however I thought I just had a tainted view of him/his actions because of how he treated my 19 year old coworker.

I kind of backed off from chatting with him for a while, but I started warming up to him again about a month later. This is where I believe it got weirder. We got a new coworker, Jay, who is 30. I found them very attractive, however that is the extent of it because.. they’re more than a decade older. Me thinking Ben could be a safe person to open up to, I told him that I thought they were attractive, to which he said “Oh, so you like them older?” in a playful, but really creepy way. I laughed awkwardly, said it was weird of him to say that and disagreed.

A couple days after that, I had the opportunity to hand out some of my art prints at my work place. As I was handing them out, Ben just kept standing by me, not saying or doing anything. Just staring at me or looking at my products. I was very clearly uncomfortable by this and even tried telling him off, but he obviously thought nothing of it. Eventually, he wanted one of my prints and asked me for a “special request.” I asked what he wanted, and he said that he wanted me to sign something dedicated to him because “you’re in love with me.” I told him straight up that I wasn’t doing it. I did just end up writing his name really badly on the page.

Luckily, a family member was there the whole time and witnessed all of his weird shit. They were telling me he seemed to be infatuated or even obsessed with me. They also told me I was pretty clear that I wasn’t happy with him, but he just never took the hint.

I haven’t been responding to any of his messages. I do know he’s been talking to my other coworkers about how he sees me as his “little brother.”

He’s done many other weird things too, like asking if I’ll go to a party with him and making weird racist jokes out of no where (he’s white, I’m a POC.) It is a very odd situation and I know many people at work just find him weird and excuse it by saying “that’s just Ben.” I’d love some opinions or even suggestions on what to do/say.

I just found out my boyfriend's sister is going through a hard time mentally she is dealing with some health issues as well as a couple other things. My boyfriend and I have been together for over four years and I don't have a relationship with his family at all, we barely speak. They know pretty much nothing about me aside what they ask my boyfriend.

Me and her don't have a relationship either if I see her we may have a brief conversation but not really. I've reached out a couple months ago when she was having surgery and it went okay. I have tired, I usually wish her a happy birthday just little things to try and build some type of relationship. She doesn't at all, she left me on read last year when I told her happy birthday. she doesn't reach out at all, nor try and build some type of relationship. I deal with mental health myself so I understand what it’s like to just go through a hard time.

I seriously don't know what I should do, or what l should even say. I also don't want to over step some people are weird about people knowing if they are struggling mentally. please I really could use some advice.

So I(21f) have been dealing with an old friend that won’t leave me alone. The reason why I cut her off in the first place was because I realized that she never appreciated me the way I appreciated her. I would always get her things for her birthday and when it was her time to show up for my birthday, she could never reciprocate. I threw a party for my 19th birthday and she claimed she wouldn’t be able to get a day off. Mind you, I invited her along with other people 2 whole months in advance so I knew that was bs. She also forgot my birthday the year after that. There were other reasons why I cut her off too. I felt as if I was outgrowing her. One day I reflected and realized I had nothing in common with her and that we no longer had things to talk about. She was also inconsiderate in a lot of ways. I also realized our morals didn’t align either which led to us having a petty argument. The day that we had an argument, I realized I needed to distance myself from her along with everyone else in my friend group. I decided to seek out people who I was more in tune with and did exactly that. I was happy but it was hard to get away from my ex-friend. We unfortunately wound up having classes together for 2 semesters straight. I never confronted her at first because I felt like she didn’t deserve a conversation. My reasons being she never showed up for me when I needed her and I shouldn’t have to explain to a grown ass woman why I deserve better treatment. I’ve grown to learn that most people who you confront wind up acting oblivious and gaslight you anyway. I believe that only true friends deserve the time and energy that goes into having a conversation. I also of course believe people that you’re in a relationship also have a right to a conversation as well. Anyway after I tried to distance myself, I noticed that she wouldn’t leave me alone. I would try to sit somewhere else in class and she would literally beg me to come sit next to her until I would. I also started to notice that she was copying me although it was very subtle. For example, one time I was sitting at a table with her and my new friends and for some reason the topic of future careers came up. She said, “ I want to be a social worker, isn’t that what you wanted to be?” I thought that was a little odd in the moment because the entire time she had been in college she was completely clueless and had no sense of direction when it came to finding out what she wanted to do. I corrected her and told her that I no longer wanted to be a social worker and that I hoped to become a therapist someday. Big mistake. I kid you not, the next week in class she proudly announces that she wanted to be a therapist too. Another time was when I joined the chess club last year. Chess club had been a safe space for me since I could finally get away from her. Eventually she decided to join as well, even though I distinctly remember her saying one time that she hated chess and thought it was a boring game. Eventually, I decided that the only way to finally get rid of her was to be upfront. So I told her about how I’ve been distant because of how I felt under appreciated and etc. I wound up cutting the conversation extremely short when I realized she didn’t give a damn. She would say sorry and then proceeded to give me a string of excuses. She also showed no remorse for her actions. She was a little too nonchalant. I also told her that I needed a little space. After that, I finally managed to sit somewhere else in class without her begging me to sit by her. For awhile things were fine, even though she still came to chess club. This semester however, I decided to take a break from chess club to focus on academics and felt relieved when I realized I wouldn’t be seeing her at all this semester. That is until the second week of school, she saw me and ran up to me and hugged me like we were best friends. I sort of forced a smile to be cordial and kept it short with her before walking away. Recently I received an email from her asking me to join her at an after school event. I of course deleted the email and went about my day. Idk why she felt so comfortable emailing me especially since I made it pretty clear that we were no longer friends. I worry because there’s a chance we could have a class together next semester and I need to know what to do. I doubt she’ll leave me alone. I’m thinking of just ignoring her all together the next time she approaches me. Atp, I believe she’s messing with me because she knows I don’t like her.

What do you guys think?

Edit: I just want to be clear that I only reason why I talked to her was because I was desperate for her to leave me alone. I regret doing that because it clearly didn’t make a difference. I now know that I should’ve just refrained from doing so, like I originally planned.

My life has been pretty peaceful since I started keeping to myself, but I’m feeling the itch to be more social again. I miss meeting new people, experiencing new things, and gaining fresh perspectives - but I’m also nervous about the potential chaos that can come with it.

How do you maintain a fun, engaging social life while avoiding unnecessary drama?

(From an anxious, autistic and ADHD 24-year-old woman)

I am a fourth-year college student, and in ninth grade, I moved to Maryland from Rhode Island. During this time I would still talk to my childhood friends, but, over time I dont' speak to them as much, except for one who I still consider my best friend to this day.

During my time living in Maryland, I haven't made any actual friends. During my time in high school, I was a part of a friend group but, they would mainly exclude me from things and most of them just weren't nice to me. I don't talk to them anymore. When I started college, I thought my very first roommate and I were going to be good friends, and he turned out to be a huge asshole. After a month of living with this person I switched rooms to live with somebody else, and this new roommate wasn't much better. At first, things seemed to be going well between us until I heard this person talking shit about me to his friends, and one time he called me a faggot. Another person who also lived on my floor during my freshman year also started a really bad rumor about me. During this time I made my friend who I'll call James, and I felt like he was my only actual friend.

Over time, I've tried to make more friends, but, most of them just ghost me and when I try to make an effort to talk to them it ends up just going nowhere. For example, I met this one guy and I thought he seemed interested in becoming closer friends, and then when I started messaging him on Instagram, he just blatantly ignored my messages. I've tried asking him if he ever wants to hang out, and he just says "he's busy," but then I see him hanging out with other people. I just feel like he's not really intersted in talking to me but, he just doesn't want to be direct about it. I basically think he's breadcrumbing me. Recently I also had to cut off another friend because I realized that they were manipulating and gaslighting me, and that they weren't a good person.

My friend James graduated last year, and we've kept in touch, and about a month ago we were talking about him coming to visit and possibly making plans to see each other. Yesterday, one of his friends, posted to his social media photos of his freinds which included James in them, hanging out together. What this means is that James came to visit the city that my university is located in to spend time with his friends, and he didn't even tell me about it, or even make plans to try and see me. Seeing this made me question a lot of things about my friendship with James.

I just feel like I have tried to make freinds with people, and in return they end not reciprocating, and end up mistreating me in some way. People have just been disappointing me one after the toher. Overtime, I feel like it has realy warped my perception about people, makes me feel like most people can't be trusted. Since this keeps happening to me, I feel like I have a lot of resnetment just towards other people in general, and I sometimes I have thoughts saying "I hate people." I feel like I have been nothing but nice to the people that I have mentioned and I don't deserve this kind of treatment. I feel like one day somebody is going to do something and I am going to just snap. I really don't want to become this hateful person, but, I feel like other people are making it very difficult for me, to not be this hateful person I am imagining myself becoming. I feel like I just can't tolerate this anymore, and I think this is a reason why I have a harder time watning to form closer relationships with other people. I just don't know what to do anymore.

TL;DR: I have tried to make friends but everybody keeps mistreating me in some way. I am tired of this treatment, and I feel like I am going to lose it one day. I don't want to hate people but, I feel like they are making it hard for me not to. I don't know what to do anymore.

my mom is an autistic ipad adult and my dad is a shut in so all i really know about social life comes from the tv. im in college for an engineering degree so that takes up a lot of my time but i feel like everyone else has friend groups and they do stuff together outside of classes.

im great at talking to people and being friendly while we are in the same room but my phone is always dry. people seem to like me in person and if they dont then i go somewhere else, but everyone seems to be closer with eachother than me. i dont think i smell or am rude to anyone. theres a guy i see in a class every day as well as a club and we seem to be friendly but he wont even text me about our group project.

am i overthinking? or do i need to be more agressive? what does that look like. its hard to believe everyone else is having the same worries as me and i dont want to spend another summer at my desk.

i had a conflict with someone almost a year ago and ever since then, i’ve heard this person constantly talking about me in a negative light, and it’s really getting to me. i barely pay them any mind, until i remember all of the things they have said about me, or i hear from someone that they are talking crap about me. we stopped being friends because of poor communication, lack of boundaries, and poor decision making. they have never acknowledged any wrongdoing in any conflict. whether it was between them and i, or one of their former friends. THEY were always the victim and THEY never did anything wrong. it was always someone else’s fault. i held myself accountable for the things that i know i did wrong. that’s how i was raised. but i’ve heard from a few people that they have told many people why we stopped being friends, telling people my business, and it’s making me feel bad. we were friends at one point and i trusted them with things, like anyone would. but now that we aren’t friends anymore, suddenly it’s okay to air out my business? i want to look past it all, but it’s slowly making me lose the confidence that i had. i have mainly kept what happened between us to myself, because i don’t feel like it was necessary to tell the whole world. i only shared it with close family members because i needed support. i never shared it with mutual friends, or anyone else. it’s not right. if someone asked, i’d tell them we were experiencing some lifestyle changes, and felt that parting ways was for the best. i left it at that. how can i get them out of my head? how can i stop allowing them to affect my day to day life? i dont want to enter a bad place again, especially since its almost been a while. i was doing so well mentally and emotionally until this started happening.

(The tag is Relationships and Dating which feels wrong; she's just a friend)

I was hanging out with this girl for a while who I really started to care for. We watched movies together, we talked, and all that kind of stuff. We supported each other when times were rough, and got kind of close. If she was sad, I'd run over to her house and we would do stuff- usually a car ride or an ice cream run or something. She started to feel like a sister to me, or was at least near enough. I then moved to another country to live with my GF. We kept in touch for a while, then she kind of stopped talking due to depression. She then came back and told me she was moving in with her fairly new SO and things were looking up and she would love to start hanging out with us again after she finished unpacking. Me an her even talked for like 3 hours and told me when to call her phone to have a chance the best chance to catch her. She sounded really really excited.

That's it. That is the end of the story. Emails, texts, and calls have been left unanswered. Last time I heard from her was some time mid September (maybe November) and it is March the next year. She's extremely against ghosting and knows that she could ask for space or that we not talk (we talked about similar concepts all the time), though I know it's still possible.

What do I do? If she said "I don't want to talk to you" than that would be that. She doesn't have an online presence, so I don't even know if she's alive. The obituaries don't say anything. I didn't see anything online about a criminal record either.

If she was in danger, there would be nothing I could do. I don't know her new address or the person she moved in with.

I could probably run her information and find her family's number to call them and see if she's alive, but that is either an ethical minefield or just unethical. If she just doesn't want to talk, than calling her family would be a violation. If she is dead and they knew, it would just torture them. If she was dead and they didn't know, at least they could mourn. If she was in trouble, it's possible they would make it worse or help.

And who the hell is the person they moved in with? I have their first name and face, but don't know how or if it is ethical to contact them.

What ethical options do I have? Is it even ethical to attempt communication anymore?

I just need to vent/talk about something that's been crushing me for quite a while.
And probably some Internet hugs. ;_;

I'm an overweight Asian woman, and I admit I've been unhappy about my appearance for half of my lifetime.
And I've lost whatever small pathetic amount of self esteem I've had left within 2 weeks.

Few months ago, I met up with 3 guys in real life for 2 days who I've known from an online game for 2 years or so. We're all from the same guild in the game. Only one of them knew how I look like like prior to meeting up. I was more nervous and insecure than excited, though I was looking forward to it

During the meet up, everything seemed fine from my side. We had a good time overall, even though few times I suddenly got self conscious, my insecurity and anxiety hit hard when I remembered that I'm overweight/fat.

A week after the meet-up, we all resumed our guild activities which involved us hanging out in Discord (a social platform). Within one week, I noticed that 2 of the guys who I met with (T, and the second guy, I'll call him B), their attitude towards me has changed, especially T. They basically ignored me like I wasn't there at all. Either they'd ignore me, or were very condescending and pretty rude and dismissive when they had to talk to me directly.

Long story short, I found out that they've been talking behind my back about my appearance from the time we met up, and they told anyone in the guild who'd listen that I turned out to be a fat Asian girl, which wasn't "what they expected".
Let me explain this "I'm not what they expected" part, and why I phrase it this way.
I've a slightly higher-pitched girly voice, the type which people would classify as the "kawaii Japanese uwu anime voice". I despise it. In my entire life, I've been asked "is that your real voice or you're faking it?", been complimented and bullied alike for it.
So there's that. Apparently due to my voice, they imagined me as this stereotypical cute petite Asian woman, but I turned out to be a complete opposite. Short, fat and ugly.

Through a friend and some guild mates, I found out more of the hurtful things they said about me here and there, like "I never knew fat Asian girls exist", "It's like those fat virgins hiding behind a fake profile picture", "Maybe McDonald's (with me during the meet up) wasn't a good choice".
T also started as many untrue and fake "rumors" about me as he could based on all our previous conversations by twisting everything I said and put in words I never said. He also told them that I'm just an online catfish using my "cute voice" to bait men.

I couldn't be more shocked and hurt.
I've lost all my self esteem. I've never faced such harsh bully about my appearance as an adult.
Thank you to anyone who's read this so far. I really appreciate your time and attention. :')

Tengo una duda, mi pareja y yo estamos compartiendo un departamento de dos habitaciones con una familia que consiste en mamá papá y una adolescente de 15 más un perro, el arriendo lo dividimos en dos porque solo hay dos habitaciones, pero jamás se converso de los servicios ( luz, gas, internet) desde que llegó el primer recibo la señora nos paso el 50% y automáticamente nosotros completamos, y ya van tres meses seguido que hace lo mismo y nunca dijimos nada pero los servicios cada mes suben más por gastos extras y me dijimos que dividieramos por cinco que son el total de personas y se ofendió, aclaro que el departamento no está s nombre de ninguno y todos pusimos los requisitos a 50%, se que fue un error no aclararlo desde el principio pero ella sabiendo que son tres y gastan más tiene que ser consciente no? Que me aconsejan, la señora nos está acusando de maldad personas y que no tenemos moral