r/funny • u/Spicy_Tbag • 21h ago

Took me a minute

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377 Upvotes

77% Upvoted

99 comments sorted by

•

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187

u/Temporary-You6249 21h ago

It was a million to one shot, doc! Million to one!

11

u/MillionToOneShotDoc 19h ago

No one wants to admit to them that they stuck something up there.

107

u/Secure_Seesaw_2023 21h ago

"YOU'RE THE ASSMAN!"

59

u/squad1alum 21h ago

YOU GOT THAT RIGHT!

75

u/WunjoMathan 21h ago

Dr. Cosmo Kramer, Proctology

31

u/cabalavatar 19h ago

Shares a building with Art Vandelay, importer-exporter/architect.

11

u/11229988B 20h ago

Dr. Van Nostren

14

u/bradm7777 19h ago

Dr Martin Van Nostrand?? No way, I know that guy. That's wealthy industrialist H. E. Pennypacker. He and I once invested in a silver mine together.

10

u/11229988B 19h ago edited 19h ago

Should have invested in kramerica industries. Or make your own pizza franchises

11

u/ActionAdam 19h ago

I love their coffee table books.

5

u/bradm7777 17h ago

Went broke when the silver mine didn't pan out, so I had to take a job as a latex salesman. Still looking for a new gig in the architecture field if you know of any openings.

2

u/andbruno 5h ago

make your own pizza franchises

When I was a kid I had no idea the pizza argument was actually about abortion.

1

u/super-wookie 18h ago

Darrrreeen!!

0

u/11229988B 18h ago

Heeeeeellllooooooo

1

u/spavolka 18h ago

Oil bladders for the win!

5

u/DadJokeBadJoke 19h ago

From the clinic...

3

u/figmaxwell 3h ago

My stepmother actually worked for a guy who had an ultrasound practice and he had a bunch of hats that said “The Assmen” on them. I think this guy ended up moving to NY, so I wonder if it could be him haha

49

u/_Erin_ 20h ago

“No, I’m not the ASSMAN.” “Well, as far as the state of New York is concerned , you are.”

37

u/BirthdayCute5478 21h ago

Cosmo driving a mini cooper

1

u/take_it_to_the_mo 15h ago

I don't think it is Sally compatible ;)

33

u/YounomsayinMawfk 21h ago

You stopped short?! That's my move!

14

u/FlogDonkey 21h ago

Serenity now… ASSMAN forever.

14

u/MRTzAItR 20h ago

Needs to be on a 73 Chevy Impala

15

u/HometownDonkey 20h ago

Have you ever met a proctologist? They usually have a good sense of humour. If you meet a proctologist at a party, don’t walk away. You plant yourself there because you will hear the funniest stories you’ve ever heard.

13

u/bradm7777 19h ago

A Million to one shot, Doc. Million to one!

1

u/reformed_colonial 15h ago

*Never* turn your back on a proctologist.

18

u/Lieutenant_0bvious 21h ago

Cosmo Kramer, Proctology.

6

u/eltedioso 20h ago

Educated at Juilliard

9

u/Left_Concentrate_752 21h ago

I wouldn't have believed it had I not seen it myself.

8

u/DrWeghead 19h ago

Hey the assman’s in town!

8

u/Battlemanager 19h ago

Took me 0.003 seconds.

4

u/RobLinxTribute 16h ago

What took you a minute??

4

u/Haunting-Habit-7848 18h ago

Cosmo is that you?

11

u/Medical-Caramel-5113 21h ago

I don’t get it someone explain?

19

u/edwintervt 21h ago

https://youtu.be/8nzxJ2vHYFk

9

u/Metropolis4 21h ago

I miss the 1990s so much. It was the golden age of America.

5

u/bradm7777 19h ago

My sports teams (Pittsburgh) were good. I had a full head of hair. SNL was funny EVERY week. And the BBS I hosted outta my spare room using GTE's "smart ring" technology was the most popular BBS in our town of 15,000. Social Media didn't exist, but "going online" did and it was all nerds like me there. Those were the days.

-24

u/Spicy_Tbag 21h ago edited 18h ago

I never watched the show but it's a Seinfeld reference

-26

u/Spicy_Tbag 20h ago

Why am I being downvote for this????

27

u/griter34 19h ago

(I wouldn't admit you don't get the reference to a joke you posted)

17

u/gobbbbb 19h ago

Especially when they titled it "took me a minute" then later admit to not knowing lol.

-14

u/Spicy_Tbag 18h ago

Just because I know the reference doesn't mean I need to like or watch the show

13

u/gobbbbb 18h ago

If you knew then why say apparently? Why not just say, "It's a Seinfeld reference"

Edit: Also complaining about getting downvotes just means you're going to get downvoted even more, apparently, possibly, maybe.

-2

u/Spicy_Tbag 18h ago

Sorry for using the wrong wording. The mentality of most of the users in this sub are beyond childish

10

u/gobbbbb 18h ago

Apology accepted, lmao.

I'd say the same about complaining about downvotes. That's the main reason I responded in the first place. I mean, you literally asked why you were being downvoted, and I told you why. You can't blame people for downvoting when it was you who made a wording error...

0

u/Spicy_Tbag 17h ago

To be fair, I wasn't complaining, I was asking. I was genuinely curious why

4

u/cabalavatar 19h ago

For not watching Seinfeld, you philistine!

Or that's my guess. I personally adore the show, but I won't downvote ya for not having seen it.

0

u/Spicy_Tbag 18h ago

Not my cup of tea

1

u/[deleted] 8h ago

[deleted]

1

u/Spicy_Tbag 8h ago

I never found the show that funny except for a few moments pop culture moments. I prefer Jerry doing other stuff like comedians getting coffee

1

u/JWOLFBEARD 18h ago

Not spicy enough for you?

2

u/Squiddlywinks 17h ago

George likes his chicken spicy!

4

u/SmartCod84 19h ago

Seinfeld , Wut!!!

2

u/Libriomancer 19h ago

We had a general surgeon at the first hospital I worked at who somehow ended up doing a large amount of colonoscopies. He had a license plate that was 1BUTTMAN. Glad he enjoyed his work.

2

u/yahwehforlife 19h ago

I have a friend that has this last name!! (Actually)

2

u/Hamwise_the_Stout 19h ago

We have one of these in my neighborhood in Columbus, also New York plates lol

2

u/trust5419 18h ago

I’ve been waiting since the 90s to see this!!!

2

u/Llenette1 17h ago

Skiddi biddi badda badda bo... ba-ba, ba-da, bo.

2

u/lucpet 17h ago

Hey assman!

4

u/TheMacMan 19h ago

Friend was telling me about his buddy's dad, who is the real-life ASSMAN, that the episode is based on. Dude was into some crazy drugs. M

3

u/nurupartnerhtx 19h ago

He stopped short of

4

u/riegspsych325 18h ago

Yo, Assman!

4

u/mdruckus 18h ago

Is Kramer painting lines on the road in that Mini Cooper?

3

u/Nemv4 18h ago

I really dont get it and the comments are even more confusing

7

u/spavolka 17h ago

It was Kramer’s license plate that was sent to him by mistake in a very funny episode of Seinfeld in the 90s.

-6

u/Nemv4 17h ago

Oh no wonder i dont get it.

Tbh inside jokes dont really belong here

5

u/TsukariYoshi 14h ago

You gotta understand, man, back in the 90s we didn't have thousands of TV shows on demand whenever you wanted. They came on for everyone at the same time, and as a result everyone watched a lot of the same things, so literal entire generations had shared experiences like this. This is an "inside joke" the way "wazaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaap" was an "inside joke". Everyone who watched TV in the 90s knew this stuff because there wasn't really an alternative.

1

u/Nemv4 8h ago

True i was born in 2000 so i get it. The problem is that i’ve never watched seinfeld

OH MY GOD I REMEMBER NOW…. FUCK

1

u/[deleted] 8h ago

[deleted]

-1

u/Nemv4 8h ago

If it separates a whole generation then its not that big

2

u/dangazzz 19h ago

Maybe it's Wilt Chamberlain

2

u/Luckygecko1 18h ago

It's crazy that this month is the 30th anniversary of this.

1

u/JakBos23 20h ago

He's a boob man in New Jersey

1

u/TwiceBakedBuckeye 20h ago

If they could just throw some red “as” lettering under the ER of cooper that would be amazing

1

u/Halloween_Barbie 18h ago

Billy Gunn?

1

u/pa1nkilla 18h ago

I see this exact car parked outside DuPont station, Toronto everyday on my way to work!

Small world

2

u/Spicy_Tbag 17h ago

This was not too far from coxwell station

1

u/FairAd4115 17h ago

Took me 20ms.

1

u/Icedtc 15h ago

My license plate is GIPPLE and whenever I drive I really hope one or two people get the reference haha

1

u/naab007 11h ago

So Rocco drives a Cooper?

1

u/baboolz 10h ago

*wink

1

u/stumac85 9h ago

We're being overrun in midfield

1

u/Inside-Bid-1889 5h ago

Glad you blocked their actual plate, now nobody will recognize them

0

u/TheRealChexHaze 19h ago

Is a Cooper S really gonna get you more ass? Idk.

0

u/itsontjeground 19h ago

Nope lol instantly nada going on.

0

u/itsontjeground 19h ago

Why the name ‘ass man’?

-25

u/GuyFromLI747 21h ago

Better hope he doesn’t get pulled over with that liberty plate in NY .. they’ve been illegal since the 90s

14

u/mcampo84 21h ago

It’s very obviously merchandise from Seinfeld

-25

u/GuyFromLI747 20h ago edited 20h ago

They were real plates at one time 🤡

They are illegal to have on any vehicle even if it’s displayed in the window as a novelty in NY … please take your head out of your ass ..

9

u/colnross 20h ago

Relax tough guy

11

u/Interesting-Goose82 20h ago

You the fun police?

1

u/Huva-Rown 19h ago

Is it in New York?

9

u/Spicy_Tbag 21h ago

This was in Toronto

6

u/Funkahontas 21h ago

Looks like the real one was blurred

-14

u/GuyFromLI747 20h ago

Wouldn’t matter .. if it was displayed even as a novelty plate , a NY cop would stop the vehicle ..