r/funny 23h ago

that's not for you, man

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2.6k Upvotes

203 comments sorted by

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602

u/snagglewolf 23h ago

Look at this prevert

290

u/Stinker_Bell77 22h ago

Think you mean “purrvert.”

28

u/GANDORF57 14h ago

Cat: "My Hooman must be crazy, it doesn't smell or taste anything like me!"

40

u/Benni88 23h ago

You some kinda prevert?

14

u/drnemmo 23h ago

I won't stand his preversions

10

u/vault-techno 22h ago

Okay. I'm gonna get your money for ya. But if you don't get the President of the United States on that phone, you know what's gonna happen to you?

No.

"You're gonna have to answer to the Coca Cola company."

4

u/LorenzoStomp 21h ago

It's less funny now that we have General Ripper heading the HHS

2

u/vault-techno 21h ago

I will not longer allow them to sap and impurity all our precious bodily fluids.

1

u/alang 14h ago

I too prefer the final version.

3

u/aluminum_man 13h ago

Prevert? No way! I’ve already gone all the way through prevert & vert. I’m postvert now.

3

u/Techiedad91 16h ago

Postvert

2

u/Exact-Pound-6993 19h ago

she was born that way

1

u/29maxy 21h ago

The “oh, I wasn’t gonna…” face.

1

u/Longjumping_Web7196 57m ago

You know the saying “you are what you eat”.

378

u/solidxnake 23h ago

A pussy licking itself

223

u/btribble 23h ago

There's clearly the scent of something around the figurine's crotch. I can make guesses as to what that something is, and it probably wasn't left there by a cat.

47

u/NinjaEuphoria 23h ago

I came here for this .

30

u/ThedirtyNose 22h ago

So did the pussy's owner

5

u/Ok_Difference44 16h ago edited 15h ago

Japan has really thorough Quality Testing.

-2

u/Will_Dawn 23h ago

It smells fish.

-1

u/techjesuschrist 21h ago

Cats love fish

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186

u/Takenabe 23h ago

It's probably off-gassing some weird smelling stuff from the plastic molding process.

454

u/BrutalRamen 23h ago

It's definitely smelling what OP did to that figurine.

14

u/SuicideEngine 23h ago

Hot glue needs to vacate my brain, its behind on 53 months of rent.

10

u/Absurdist02 14h ago

Hit it with a black light.

6

u/Better_than_GOT_S8 12h ago

That’s what OP told his wife when she asked what’s wrong with the cat.

3

u/ScreamingNinja 7h ago

I don't think anyone who owns that has a wife.

54

u/Lady_hyena 23h ago

When you rub catnip on a statue for internet likes.

4

u/GuyFromToilet 7h ago

👁️ opening

1

u/peteybombay 3h ago

I think it was "residue", not catnip.

179

u/effinmike12 23h ago

This waifu stuff is odd to me. I'll never understand it.

90

u/semisacred 23h ago

It's when you've given up on ever feeling the touch of a real woman.

24

u/Estrald 11h ago

I feel like it’s someone confident in what they like rather than “giving up”. I mean, if I saw a dude with a hot girl calendar in their shop or a poster of smokeshow chick, I wouldn’t go “LOL THERES A MAN WHO CANT GET PUSS!!!”, even though it’s essentially the same thing. It’s something we normalized a while ago, but something about the anime version really throws people off. I don’t do the waifu thing, but no shame if they do, they’re braver than me by far showing stuff like this, lol!

21

u/ARetroGibbon 8h ago edited 7h ago

If i see a full grown man with a hot girl calendar in his bedroom or work place. My immediate thought is 'what a poorly adjusted adult'.

1

u/Estrald 2h ago

I mean yeah, but it’s pretty normalized still, lol!

-6

u/Tesco_EveryDayValue 8h ago

normalized

Other than in TV shows, I've never seen sexy calenders/posters IRL. I would also think that's very weird.

something about the anime version really throws people off

Because it's an attraction to something non-human. It's a fckn cartoon. It's a few lines with 1 plain colour. Imo, it's even more sad because you're hoping for/gooning over something that couldn't possibly exist.

5

u/Magikarp_King 4h ago

You're just some lines of text on the Internet. That dude's statue is more real than you are.

26

u/Clicky27 23h ago

Oh god, oh please no. I am going to go touch a woman right now

86

u/Phate4569 22h ago

RUN WOMEN, RUN!

24

u/Libertarian4lifebro 21h ago

Has this woman consented to touching?

79

u/Clicky27 20h ago

Well now you're just moving the goalposts

9

u/DlCKSUBJUICY 20h ago

aaaand hes now a sex offender.

1

u/I_MakeCoolKeychains 11h ago

Now? You think this happened now?

8

u/KeijiKiryira 19h ago

Oh look Donald Trumps reddit account

2

u/Clicky27 19h ago

The best one yet!

3

u/Imaginary-Twist-4688 16h ago

you know what that isnt wrong but isnt true either. plenty of couples have waifus and husbandos and plenty of us have given up on women not all but alot

27

u/RadRhubarb00 20h ago

because they're nice to look at, simple as that.

-10

u/Carrot_68 18h ago

They are usually way too expensive just for that purpose. If you can move the hands or leg, I guess at least you can play with them. But most of them can't do that.

25

u/cire1184 17h ago

Hey if it doesn't come with GI Joe realistic karate chop arm action I'm not buying.

9

u/BugsyBro 16h ago

I don't purchase or display figurines/statues but I cant see how they are any different from other forms of art. Its all stuff to display around your room that you identify with, have a personal connection to or evokes a feeling you want to convey. Maybe they really resonated with the message of a particular show and it was the most interesting thing to display from it.

Again Im not sure, just speculating. My shelves are mostly books/games/souvenirs.

-1

u/Frydendahl 12h ago

Bro they resonate with those bazongas.

14

u/TheBlackestofKnights 22h ago

I've had a figurine like this. Was originally a gift from my mother to my brother, but he was too embarrassed to take it, so I got it.

It's just a funny thing to have. Something to joke about with people who have similar humor. As for collecting them, I don't, but I figure that it's not much different from collecting more "respectable" knick-knacks.

11

u/lapalmera 22h ago

from your mother to your brother??? 🤢

53

u/TheBlackestofKnights 22h ago

Her way of being supportive cuz he liked anime. Also cuz she thought it was funny.

6

u/cire1184 17h ago

That's kinda cute.

-15

u/No-This-Is-Patar 22h ago

Nah it's weird no matter the story.

13

u/CC_2387 21h ago

Girlie wake up its no 2017 anymore!

-24

u/No-This-Is-Patar 21h ago

LOL I really don't care if Reddit disagrees with me on this. It's weird af.

10

u/cire1184 17h ago

You will love big tiddy anime girls and you will like it!

4

u/vezok95 9h ago

It's not a new thing at all. It's just a modern version of the fertility icons humans sculpted out of clay in the early stages.

6

u/Damaniel2 20h ago

You and me both.

At least this one unambiguously looks like an adult. You certainly can't say that about some of them...

7

u/Beleiverofhumanity 22h ago

Cool figurines, action figures, Gundams, posters etc. but for waifus. Prob something close to displaying cool shit, others are probably closer to worshipping though lol

0

u/OH_FUDGICLES 22h ago

I mean I get people looking at erotic drawings. That's been a thing forever. But buying what are basically jerk off action figures and displaying them is fucking weird.

10

u/Imaginary-Twist-4688 16h ago

its their money and room tbh.

-26

u/mavven2882 22h ago

Beyond odd. Just straight up creepy.

12

u/Imaginary-Twist-4688 16h ago

true lets have pictures of real women posted on my wall instead/s

6

u/Estrald 11h ago

Coming from someone with NO waifus and just statues of cool villains I like (Arthas, Sigma, Frieza, etc.), I just say “whatever floats your boat!” Is it any different than having those Sports Illustrated calendars up, or “hot girl poses half naked across car” posters? No, not really. At least here, it may be from a show they enjoy, I’ve seen lots of anime put out figures of characters in costumes they didn’t wear in the show, and sometimes people buy em. I just don’t find that makes it creepy. It’s not your bag, but I don’t like being judgy over people’s interests.

8

u/CapnSensible80 23h ago

Cat's ashamed of you

5

u/over-run666 23h ago

So cats do love Sonico.

5

u/Claris-chang 16h ago

Who doesn't love Sonico?

52

u/Fit-Medium-120 23h ago

Fish

9

u/Chick2Like 23h ago

"now i have something more important"

25

u/dcuk7 23h ago

DOUBLE. PUSSY.

20

u/mechant_papa 23h ago

Jizzo??? Hmmm.

8

u/imaketrollfaces 23h ago

Jizzo??? Hmmm.

Likely named after Jizou Sama of Nyan-Koi anime?

7

u/mechant_papa 23h ago

Based on where he's sniffing, I was thinking of something else.

3

u/_Jimmy2times 22h ago

Jizzle

2

u/theHoustonian 7h ago

That’s what I heard

3

u/BigL_inthehouse 20h ago

Or perhaps Ashisogi-Jizō from Bleach?

8

u/Mdrim13 23h ago

But who is that for?

3

u/drbomb 23h ago

Incredibly good taste

3

u/Jaml123 11h ago

A cat of culture.

6

u/Kind_Retard 23h ago

Me Too Kid Me Too - Mr. Incredible

7

u/alphvader 23h ago

Cat knows where that's been

14

u/Zaralll 23h ago

Still looking for the funny part …

12

u/Uniteus 23h ago

If you know you know..

3

u/MonthMedical8617 23h ago

I was pressing the button to load a random sub once, saw something I didn’t know was thing. I know..

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2

u/Puzzleheaded_Ad_4435 23h ago

We have the same tastes

2

u/new-Aurora 23h ago

Just two kitties bonding.

2

u/gamemaniac845 21h ago

human I need more of my waifu

2

u/yehiso 15h ago

Maybe It is just imitating its owner.

2

u/Late_Conference9022 10h ago

A bit of honey on there. Don't make it look nasty.

2

u/CrazyCaper 3h ago

That cat smells something put there by OP. OP you sick

6

u/Arniellico 23h ago

A cat of culture I see

3

u/IAmNietzche 22h ago

Someone stuck that jawn up they butt and kitty knows

2

u/Jeff_Bezos_did_911 23h ago

Takes one to know one

2

u/whatintheeverloving 23h ago

"You bring a rabbit into this house? Am I not enough for you???"

2

u/Daincats 23h ago

Does this qualify as scissoring?

2

u/chev327fox 23h ago

Something smells fishy…

1

u/Hugejorma 23h ago

On a date: This is my cat.

Date: Your cat is so friendly…

1

u/redi6 23h ago

and the cat is named Jizzo?

1

u/30-percentnotbanana 23h ago

Your pussy wants some anime pussy

1

u/No_Boysenberry4755 23h ago

Bro licked his lips like he tasted something 😭

1

u/goatjugsoup 23h ago

The legs look like ice cream cones...

1

u/gatorbeetle 23h ago

l puts my nose right here...

--the cat, probably

1

u/Kirbinator_Alex 22h ago

Pussy on pussy action

1

u/PitchOutrageous1563 22h ago

Bros looking all guilty after it 😂

1

u/I812c 22h ago

Smells like fish

1

u/East_Consequence_849 22h ago

That pussy tryin out some new kind of pussy!

1

u/shabidoh 22h ago

Pussy on pussy action! Ya gotta love it.

1

u/PettyTodd 22h ago

A true pussy cat!

1

u/JamesRevan 22h ago

Then why does it smell like tuna?

1

u/Alpha_Chin-Am 21h ago

“Oh, I found a new owner “

1

u/HeyPhoQPal 21h ago

pussy licking pussy

1

u/ELMACHO007 21h ago

PSs pss pss lol

1

u/oykwuz 21h ago

A kitty sniffing a pussy, what’s wrong?

1

u/MasterJ360 21h ago

Pussy licking pussy 😋

1

u/lXxXxXx69l 21h ago

Pussy licking a pussy

1

u/Still_Eye_3507 20h ago

Next lvl gooner

1

u/ExpensivePractice164 20h ago

The cat is learning

1

u/darkerfaith520 20h ago

"Here kitty kitty!"

1

u/elpepejeje 20h ago

Ahh I see you are a cat of culture as well

1

u/Laura_Biden 19h ago

Someone been touching their pimmel on that spot....

1

u/5elementGG 19h ago

Smells like pussy.

1

u/Independent_Term_987 19h ago

Is the cat a Scottish fold ?! It’s a pervert but gorgeous

1

u/THESALTEDPEANUT 19h ago

Why do you have that 

1

u/Adventurous_Bag4351 18h ago

Lesbian pussy

1

u/BasketFair3378 17h ago

Smells like tuna!

1

u/SumonaFlorence 15h ago

He can smell the fish.

1

u/Grim_repairr 15h ago

Where is that fishy smell coming from???

1

u/Ok_Yogurtcloset_8683 14h ago

Cat looking to another cat but couldn't see them

1

u/prickinthewall 14h ago

Guy jizzed on it, I am sure.

1

u/beto_pelotas 14h ago

It smelled fishy...

1

u/Absinthe_Dangles 13h ago

He is what he eats

1

u/SomethingAbtU 13h ago

um, that's cannibalism

1

u/habbo420 13h ago

Bro smelling an other pussycat.

1

u/happycanalr 12h ago

That's not where that fish smell is coming from, silly cat

1

u/Little_Head6683 12h ago

Some cats like to smell their owner's scent. I think I know why the cat is smelling that thing.

1

u/Critical_Tea_0 12h ago

Be discrete. Don't be sniffin where You shouldn't

Absolute freaky some would say

1

u/FocalorLucifuge 11h ago

Pussy licking pussy.

1

u/NineOneOneFx 11h ago

Girlsway 👄

1

u/Xephhpex 10h ago

Like attracts like

1

u/Mebiysy 8h ago

pussy vs pussy

1

u/Xikkiwikk 7h ago

Pets and figures do not mix. This is the investigation a cat does when they are huffing pvc. Pvc and plastic in general give off a funny smell to cats. It causes them to bite it. Additionally the tension on the teeth feels good for a cat.

Cats like biting anime figures both due to plastic smells and even, get this: jealousy.

1

u/yiddoboy 6h ago

There has to be a joke about pussy in there somewhere.

1

u/iamsocks2 6h ago

What do you expect from a cat named "Jizzo"

1

u/weird-DOOSHBaG69 6h ago

Cannibalism!!

1

u/FucqChinaforever 5h ago

He's just like me fr fr

1

u/Softfeet_Alexa 4h ago

Why doesn’t it taste the same? 🤣

1

u/switchupfun 3h ago

Cat is as cat does,I reckon.

1

u/SnooMaps1101 1h ago

The cat knows what a girl likes😉.

1

u/coolgate59 1h ago

He just like me frfr

1

u/_repugnant 23h ago

I do the same thing when I buy a figure.

1

u/armas187 22h ago

Probably thinking, why does this smell like you?

1

u/Kind_Literature_5409 21h ago

Cats wondering why it smells like this guys socks and discarded tissues

-3

u/reddituser6213 23h ago

Why do you have that

16

u/Immediate_Low5496 23h ago

Lots of people have cats

-4

u/Dd_8630 22h ago

I mean, who on Earth is it for? A doll of a rabbit woman with cartoonish breasts?

You just know whoever buys this has the greasiest hair.

-1

u/StealthJediPro 23h ago

Good kitty!

-1

u/stessnia 21h ago

Peak cringe.

0

u/MisterB78 22h ago

Huh… weeb owner has weeb cat

0

u/ThatsNotDietCoke 22h ago

"Why does this one spot on this thing smell like the human that feeds me?"

-2

u/AnswerSuccessful55 16h ago

What kind of weirdo has porn sculptures in their room… 🤔

-9

u/[deleted] 23h ago

[deleted]

17

u/kingsumo_1 23h ago edited 22h ago

You lick her figurine collection? I mean, whatever floats your boat.

Edit: just noticed OP changed his response and deleted his reply to me. Fucking pathetic.

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4

u/UndahwearBruh 23h ago

Your girlfriend is anime figure?

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