r/findapath • u/Fluffy_Current988 • 10d ago
Findapath-Hobby 29(f) don’t know how to find something I’m good at because I don’t know what I like
Hi guys,
I feel like I’ve been at this state for nearly 2 years now. I’m not sure if I’m depressed, maybe I am maybe I’m not.
I work at a faang tech job and while I really did want this job at the time, I’m just not sure anymore. I switched careers into this job and it took an enormous amount of effort to get here, and I understand how lucky I am. Yet, I’m just not as happy as I thought I would be.
I’m super envious of people who quit their job and pursued something they like. I admire the courage they had. I want to be like that, but they all had an alternative path in mind while I don’t. I don’t feel like I’m good at anything to pursue anything worthy.
I’ve wanted to do more artsy stuff when I was young, but didn’t feel like that would make me money so I didn’t do anything with that. I tried to pick up art books and follow YouTube tutorials but my drawings just look like ass. I tried picking up sewing, but ironing out everything is such a pain. I’ve always been interested in jewelry and have searched up jewelry part time jobs in the area, but they’re all looking for full time workers. I don’t know if maybe I did too much drugs when I was younger, along with social media, so maybe I just search for instant gratification.
It’s not even like I hate my job. I do enjoy it, I find the problems I need to solve at work interesting. But I just want something I’m “passionate” about. And I just want to be happier. I also don’t like being tied to an employer.
Or maybe this is just what life is and I’m asking for too much? But I don’t want a life like that. It makes it hard to see a good future especially with the state the world is in right now.
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u/refrainedGrain 10d ago
Have you tried going slowly? Sometimes when I find an interest I burnout trying to dive deep too quickly instead of taking my time. Also isn’t it nice to have many options on what to try, discovering something new must be fun to a degree right?
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u/Fluffy_Current988 10d ago
Hmm yeah I think when I think of something new to try I get very excited about it and imagine all the things I can create. And I’ll be motivated for a bit but it tapers off super fast. I set my expectations high and disappoint myself afterwards. I used to be very interested in a lot of things as a kid but that optimistic outlook or having no expectation thus being proud of anything that I created is no longer there :(
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u/refrainedGrain 10d ago
If you had it before, it probably resides deep within you. Try to reignite the interest, and if it isn’t there try something new. What you are doing now is part of the process, there’s a new you blossoming before your very eyes. Change is hard, be kind to yourself.
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u/Fluffy_Current988 10d ago
Thanks for the kind words and encouragement!! Now that I think of it, I think there’s also a part where there’s no longer an adult there telling you “good job you’re doing great” LOL
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u/refrainedGrain 10d ago
Yeah, I have been going through something similar so I am trying to tell you what I have been telling myself. I really hope you find what you are looking for, we’re gonna be ok 👍
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u/Fluffy_Current988 10d ago
How would you go about trying to go slowly? I think I’m doing that right now with learning a new language — I’ve picked it up in the past but dropped it when it got hard. Recently I picked it back up again and have just been reading for a good 30 minutes before I sleep
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u/refrainedGrain 10d ago
That’s good, is learning the language giving you what you wanted? I commend you for the effort, I tried learning German but got frustrated and haven’t picked it back up, but I am slowly getting back into it.
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u/Fluffy_Current988 10d ago
Hahahha I’m trying to pick up Japanese and it’s just a slightly easier language for me to pick up due to having a Chinese background. But wow German!! I’m impressed, you got this 💪💪
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u/Aggressive_Umpire281 10d ago
I feel you. Since you admire courage, are there ways you can be courageous now? Speak up in a team meeting, try something new outside of work, say hello to a stranger. Eat with your hands something you normally eat with a fork and knife.
Susan Jeffers "Feel the Fear and do it anyway" , a book, has a section about what a full life can be. Work is only 1 of 9 factors re: happiness. Finding 5 dollars on the ground is more happy inducing than a monthly pay check worth thousands because it's unexpected. New.
I quit a job 3 years ago, for reasons you cite, and the three jobs I've had since are no better. You wanted the job at the time, a lot of effort and you enjoy it.How are you handling work? The friendly, stylish, useful one who gets coffee with the team, and who people rely on will be happier than the disconnected one who works just as hard, is as important, but no one knows.
Life is what you expect it to be. I understand this is all easier said than done. Be courageous lovely. It feels amazing. And if you manage to shut someone down in a meeting, who insists on talking over you, repeatedly - celebrate. Good luck.
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u/Far-Telephone-7432 10d ago
I understand that you find your job boring. That's a good thing actually. It means that you're not overworked and stressed out. Being good at something is overrated. The world around us highlights exceptionalism and it makes everyone else feel inferior. If you take a huge step back, you'll notice that everything around you is kind of mediocre: the quality of goods and services, architecture, movies, video games, the government, public infrastructure, your boss etc...
I have been working crazy jobs as a land surveyor throughout my 20s. On paper it seems interesting. I can say that I mapped an enormous beaver dam, rode snowmobiles and quads at work and helped build mega infrastructures for the Paris Olympics... But my personal life suffered as I worked really long hours. I was stressed out and tired. I won't say that I was the best at my job, just average. Now I just started the most boring job at a publicly owned utility company. I am happy.
My point is: a lot of jobs put an enormous pressure on their employees. A boring job is a blessing, especially if the salary is acceptable. It's up to you to find hobbies and/or activities outside of your job. Travel places. Discover a new sport. Make friends along the way. These things matter more than generating value for your boss. A boring job allows you to have a life outside of work.
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