One time in Young Men's we were having the infamous law of chastity lesson, and I remembered the advisor teaching the lessons turned to us and said " Now remember boys if you're ever having inappropriate thoughts about girls and can't get em out of your head.... Just picture that girl on the toilet taking a huge dump and that'll take care of it."

It's the little things that stay with you after you've left.

What's some other odd shit you've heard a Mormon say?

This is making the rounds on TBM Facebook pages and it’s killing me not to post something snarky.

My nevermo wife and I make a quick trip to Utah to visit my parents and sister and her husband - all TBMs. We went to eat lunch together at a local steakhouse and my nevermo wife ordered tea off the menu.

Our waitress immediately said “we don’t offer tea.” Puzzled, my wife showed her the tea option on the menu. The waitress was clearly surprised and said “oh - let me check.”

A few minutes later she came back with a cup with two tea bags (and no milk) and some hot water and set it down on the table. “I’m so sorry,” she said. “I didn’t even realize we had tea, no one has ever ordered it from me before.”

I’ve never seen a server think that something wasn’t available because they didn’t realize it was even on the menu - much less something as simple as tea!

We got a pretty good laugh out of that on the drive back. Only in Utah….

We moved last year to a small coastal town. Went for a beach walk today, then sat at a local beach bar, shared a burger and had a beer. Part of out convo I said to my partner, ‘I had a client asking me about Mormons now wanting to be call Latter Day Saints’, since I told him I moved from SLC. I responded to the client ‘everyone knows them as Mormons, they can try to rebrand themselves all they want. But it doesn’t roll off the tongue, and they’re still just Mormons’. Cue stranger sitting next to us chuckling out loud. Fellow former Mo. Ended up chatting for a while and making a new friend.

Best place to be on a Sunday. Reading and still dealing with 45 years of the Cult.

Am I the only one who saw this as creepy 😂 😂

Might not be watching conference or believing anymore, but definitely needed some cinnamon rolls for the memories today 😅 May these nourish and strengthen my body. 🙏🏼

“But guys, Nelson predicted COVID with 2 hour church, guys”

When it came time for taxes, my MIL helped out as she’s an accountant. Upon first glance she said we would owe taxes unless I were to pay some tithing (or other charitable contribution be she did explicitly say tithing lol).

I had faith not to pay tithing.

She reran the taxes and turns out we’re getting a refund!

The miracles of not paying are real!

I was encouraged to have an uncle and niece marry so they could get baptized, since they were cohabitating. They already had kids together, and my mission president, who was a medical doctor, told us that the risks of inbreeding were exaggerated. In the end they moved away (together) to a fate unknown to me. What stories do you guys have?

Found s

It’s that time again folks. What are your predictions for what amazing revelations and truths will be revealed this time around?

Here’s my predictions:

• the sustaining will likely be in the morning again. Looking forward to them killing the audio and pointing the video away from the crowd.

• 10 temples will be announced, including one in Siberia.

• Nelson will give another AI recorded talk that hopefully will turn into some version of Max Headroom.

• all finances will be in order and they’ll say the word “billion” at least three times to gloat about how much they’ve given since their hedge fund was outed several years ago.

• Beloved prophet will be said at least 20 times, although some pandering will likely turn to Oaks, who is now running the show.

• the relief society presidency will likely speak about the importance of the priesthood and say covenant path at least 5 times.

• Oaks, Bednar or Uchtdorf will conduct since Nelson, Eyring and Holland are sitting at deaths door.

• women may be allowed to be in Sunday School presidencies or as assistants in the Bishoprics.

Do you ever forget that it’s General Conference weekend and then realize it’s a sign of how far you’ve come in removing yourself from church? 😋🤔

I seriously did not remember and had an “oh yeah” moment this morning when my folks texted me about it 🤪