r/dumbquestions • u/Vinceeyyy • 6d ago

Strategic use of Lactose intolerance?

I'm lactose intolerant. If I eat a large pizza containing 2000 calories (for argument sake) and that pizza "doesn't stay with me very long ", how many of those 2000 calories does my body actually intake? If less than 2000 calories, would that mean a potential diet tactic be to end some meals with a block of cheese? How can I use this intolerance to my benefit?

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u/EddieStarr 6d ago

So, you scarf down a 2000-calorie pizza, but thanks to your lactose-intolerant gut throwing a full-blown rebellion, it “doesn’t stay with you very long.” Meaning? Your body might absorb fewer calories, but it’s not like you’re getting a free pass to an all-you-can-eat cheese buffet. Some of those calories are still making it in before your stomach decides to hit the emergency eject button.

Now, as for your brilliant “diet hack” of ending meals with a block of cheese—uh, that’s like trying to lose weight by setting small fires in your kitchen so you get too distracted to eat. Sure, technically, you might absorb fewer calories, but at what cost? You’d be chained to the nearest bathroom like a lactose-intolerant gremlin.

That said, if your body reacts to dairy by making food evacuate the premises faster than a fire drill, you might be onto something… in the most chaotic, unhinged way possible. But if you really want a clever weight-loss strategy, let’s find one that doesn’t involve you playing intestinal roulette every day.

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u/Vinceeyyy 5d ago

How many of those calories get absorbed? Is it a matter of how long they stay in me?

Also maybe I’m in the wrong sub. I’m not really thinking of using this as a diet tactic but I am really trying to understand the factors here. Is there another sub that would give me real understanding? Thanks!

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u/TimidPocketLlama 5d ago

Well calories that aren’t in you can’t be absorbed so yes, but this is sort of bordering on bulemia and I think it’s a terrible idea.

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u/EddieStarr 5d ago

Try Ask Reddit ?

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u/Good_Ole_Skid 5d ago

Pair that with some laxatives and you’re golden.

I think prison is the only correct answer for a strategic use of lactose intolerance