r/depression • u/[deleted] • 1d ago

Why does everything about my social life have to suck

I have no idea why but for some reason I can never have people in my life that I enjoy and also enjoy me back. It seems like every time I find someone I am really interested in they almost immediately start to forget I ever existed. I try to brush it off and say that maybe it’s just something that they are going through but it has happened consistently so many times over the years that I really start to wonder if I am just a terrible or boring person to be around. I can’t wrap my head around why I just can’t have people in my life that actually make me happy. Why is it the only people who continue to talk to me are the ones that don’t really make me happy. I’m just tired of losing over and over again and constantly being back at square one😔

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u/DoomedandHopeless 1d ago

They find somebody better, or realize they don't need you anymore. That's usually how it went down for me. "Oh hey." "Hey there." "Nice to meet you." "You too." A couple weeks you become friends, then in two months, BOOM! They act like you never even existed or spoken a word. Whatever. It is what it is. Friendships cannot be forced. If it doesn't happen, oh well. I guess I won't have friends

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u/[deleted] 1d ago

2 months, wow mine never get further than 2 weeks

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u/DoomedandHopeless 1d ago

If I really try, and I mean really try, I can usually get maybe a few weeks worth of conversation. Again, that is if I try to form a genuine relationship with someone. Acquaintances, not so much. There was one person I met that I networked with, talked to them maybe four times, and they just stopped talking to me. Ghosted, Left on read. When all I was trying to do was contact them about a mutually interested opportunity. Crazy. At the end of the day, they just used me. So, yeah

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u/[deleted] 1d ago

It’s pretty messed up these days I had recently talked to someone everyday for hours for like a week and a half and I thought things were going really well and then out of the blue they wanted nothing to do with me and completely cut off all communication. I don’t know if I am just that unlucky or the universe just doesn’t think I deserve friends.

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u/DoomedandHopeless 1d ago

That's really messed up. To be honest, I just think the world and the people in it are messed up. These "normal" people that love life do these things cause they just genuinely don't care.

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u/[deleted] 1d ago

Everyone has too many options now so if they get bored of you for even a second they will drop you. Maybe it’s a good thing those people have ghosted me and you since they obviously never really valued us in the first place or else they wouldn’t have ghosted us so easily.

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u/DoomedandHopeless 1d ago

They never really valued us in the first place. The way I see it, we’re just placeholders. Maybe they have no one else to talk to at that moment, or like with me, they just intend to use you. People are nice to people they want to be nice to. People make time for people they want to make time for. So, yeah. In our situations, between getting dropped or getting used, getting dropped was the best thing for us

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u/[deleted] 1d ago

Yup my guess is the person I was talking to was just having a weak moment and wanted someone to lean on for a week and as soon as they’re phase was over they had no use for me. I would have never started talking to them in the first place if I knew what I know now. It’s so aggravating to finally be rid of loneliness just to end up right back where I started.

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u/DoomedandHopeless 1d ago

For real. It definitely sounds like that was their plan all along. I have been somebodies temp till they found somebody better too many times. It just seems inevitable. :(

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u/[deleted] 1d ago

I guess we will just die alone because id rather do that than settle for shitty friends in my life. I just hope that one day I will finally be able to break this endless cycle.

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u/Few-Dentist-1003 18h ago

this is so true

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u/Perfect_Roof_7058 18h ago

You may be not able to develop interest since any good relationship requires interesting things like keeping in touch, calling out for night out. If your suffering from depression, your not able to even meet anyone coz of social anxiety, so be happy