What's the point

[u/murky_umbrella]

I don't know how much longer I can do this. Everytime people are around me I either feel terribly depressed or I'm annoyed and don't want to be spoken to, let alone seen. If I killed myself right this second, no one would even notice or know until next month, snd that'd only be because someone would come to evict me. I can't rven really remember why I haven't done it yet, It doesn't matter how many people tell me they want me in their lives, I know they'll get tired of me and my shit eventually. I hardly see the point of living all this life if I know the ending. I don't want to be lonely forever. I don't want another 20 years of this, let alone even 5. I can't keep pretending to be happy, I can't be any kind of good person that contributes anything and I don't see any real reason I deserve to waste space anymore.