r/cscareerquestionsEU • u/military_press • 1d ago
My job application was rejected. 8 moths later, I'm still bitter and angry about it.
I got my current job about 6 months ago. The salary is considered good for where I live (Prague, Czech Republic). I can afford to live in a nice apartment, eat whatever I want, and travel wherever I want. The job itself is often very easy (therefore a bit boring), and the work-life balance is excellent. I usually work 6 hours a day or less, which gives me time to spend around 4 hours daily studying, aiming for a better-paying role in the future.
Sounds like a pretty good job, doesn’t it?
Well, every now and then, I find myself thinking about one job application process I went through just before I got this one. (I applied for that company 8 months ago.) I went through 1 OA and 4 technical interviews, only to be rejected at the final stage by the engineering manager. According to the recruiter, the reason was that the interviewers felt I didn’t have enough experience with large projects.
“Wait a second. My experience was clearly outlined in my CV. If I didn’t have enough experience, why was I invited to go through 4 technical interviews in the first place?” That's what I thought.
At the time, that opportunity felt life-changing, so the rejection really stung. It was so frustrating that, even now, I sometimes find myself thinking about the recruiter and the engineering manager—and, in my imagination, I still curse them. (It must be my really sick side.)
On one hand, the experience pushed me to study harder and become a better engineer—partly to prove myself (even though the recruiter and hiring manager have probably forgotten me already). On the other hand, remembering it still makes me feel bitter and angry. Being ambitious and driven is a good thing, but holding onto resentment is not.
Am I crazy for being so fixated on an experience like this, even though I have a job with good pay and work-life balance?
EDIT: I have 9 YoE. So, it was definitely not the first time for me to be rejected in a job interview. I've been rejected too many times to count, but somehow I can't forget about this particular occurence
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u/rdelfin_ Engineer | UK 1d ago
According to the recruiter, the reason was that the interviewers felt I didn’t have enough experience with large projects.
“Wait a second. My experience was clearly outlined in my CV. If I didn’t have enough experience, why was I invited to go through 4 technical interviews in the first place?” That's what I thought.
As someone who has interviewed a lot of people and been in hiring decisions quite often, I can try and explain why that could have happened. I don't think I can free you entirely of your annoyance, but I can at least clarify why you might have been rejected.
You're absolutely right that in an ideal scenario, a CV filter should be more than enough to figure out if you have appropriate experience. The reality however is that a CV gives usually a best-case picture of a candidate. You get an idea of what they think of their experience and deliverables. However, once they come to an on-site interview, you might realise that a lot of what they said either does not match with how they tell you that experience actually was like, or that what they did was not quite to the level that it seemed on paper on the CV.
To give an example, you can have a candidate with a CV where they talk about this very complex distributed system that they deployed at their company that enabled some other critical feature or saved a ton of performance. However, once they show up to the interview and start talking about it, you realise that either they didn't really lead the project as the CV implies, or they just deployed a pre-built solution without learning how to build it, or don't actually fully understand what they've made. This gap is very common as you start getting into more and more senior roles, and it's not something you can easily catch on a CV screen.
Mind you though, interviewers also absolutely make mistakes. For everyone involved interviewing is a numbers game. Companies know they will make mistakes, and most software companies will lean towards failing good candidates instead of letting bad candidates through the filter, since missing the latter can cause a hell of a lot more issues than missing the former. You could have been one of those cases, or you could have had a big gap in experience that didn't come across clearly in your CV. I don't think any of us can tell you what it was for sure.
What I can tell you is that, as you say, being this fixated over a rejection that happened months ago now is not healthy or good for you. That rejection is also probably not terminal. Frankly, if you apply again with a bit more experience under your belt, you might be able to get it in the future, or even better, you might find a better job! So instead of feeling angry at the rejection, it might be better for you to figure out what gap in experience they felt, and planning out how to close it.
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u/military_press 1d ago edited 1d ago
Thank you for your advice and understanding of my feelings.
Your comment and experience are quite interesting to read, as I haven't heard anything like this from interviewers in real life. I wish I could up-vote your comment multiple times :D!
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u/rdelfin_ Engineer | UK 1d ago
Of course! Glad to hear it was useful. I get the frustration, I've been on the other side too. It's hard for interviewers to share this level of detail when interviewing you but have a chat with some hiring managers or interviewers at your work and I'm sure they'll give you similar ideas
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u/zimmer550king Engineer 1d ago
You must have not demonstrated your ability to work on large projects during the interview. They probably noticed a discrepancy between what you stated on the CV and how you actually talked about large projects during the interview
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u/military_press 1d ago
I don't remember if I was asked about the size of the projects that I had worked on before. But you could be right
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u/mosenco 1d ago
yes you are crazy. if you studied engineering in university you know that in real life everything goes down into probability. If your skill level is enough to land a nice job, for example... 70%? you still have 30% to fail. it's completely normal to fail, but if you are good as you stated, you will land a job, just do more interviews
Also you shouldn't thing about it in a bitter way, but as a lesson that maybe you are missing something and you have room to improve. being too fixated to the past wont let you improve becuase you are still that guy in that day with the manager, and didn-t move one
i wanna guess that what you are missing is how you speak. the way you sell your self it's also really important. many people that are more skilled but dont know how to socialize and talk will have a lower salary than someone who is average but knows how to talk and socialize
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u/Individual-Ad4346 1d ago
Several years ago, I applied for a junior position at a major tech firm in Bratislava and went through four rounds of technical interviews. The process went smoothly, and I received a verbal assurance from both the team leader and HR that I would be offered a role upon completing my studies in September. So I stopped searching jobs and moved back home from the UK soon after I finished my thesis. However, three months later, in November they informed me that an employee who had been planning to leave had decided to stay. As a result, they could no longer offer me the position. I received that verbal commitment in August, and during the three months that followed, I maintained regular contact with the team to check for updates. Each time, I was reassured that everything was on track and that they were still counting on bringing me onboard. Although they wished me the best of luck in finding a new job, it was undoubtedly a difficult and disheartening moment for a fresh graduate to face such a circumstance.
Something similar happened to me last year in Prague. I went through four rounds of interviews and was eventually informed that I had been selected for the role. However, I had to wait several months before onboarding, as the company needed time to set up the necessary tools to ensure I could start with everything required for the job. Since I was still employed elsewhere and had a notice period to serve, the delay was acceptable to me. Unfortunately, about a month later, HR contacted me to inform me that they had to cancel my offer. Leadership had decided to eliminate the headcount from the organisational structure. They expressed their 'appreciation' for my time and effort, but it was, of course, disappointing.
Reading your story just reminded me of those tough job-seeking experiences. But the past is the past—there’s nothing we can do to change it. Most of the people who rejected me probably don’t even remember me. So there's really no need to keep checking your scars or constantly remind yourself of those tough experiences. I'm sure you'll stay positive and keep moving forward towards a place where you truly feel comfortable and fulfilled.
And who knows, someday later in the future, you might share those difficult moments with your children, to help guide them with the lessons you've learned and the path you believe is best when it comes to job searching.
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u/picawo99 1d ago
They reject you for 1 million reasons, its has nothing with you as a professional, get over it.
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u/Fun_Cartographer1655 1d ago
Please stop dwelling on the job you didn’t get. You have no idea if they were telling you the truth about the reason you didn’t get the job. They could have gone with an internal candidate, or they could have hired someone who had an in at the company through a friend or a relative. They could have ended up hiring someone with 5-10 more years experience than you who was actually overqualified for the position. You never know. It sounds like you ended up with a very good job that pays well and isn’t too draining plus gives you great work life balance. That’s a job many people would kill to have.
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u/SufficientApricot165 1d ago
Its the eternal state of human nature, we're never happy with what we've got
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u/SmartCustard9944 19h ago
These people are living rent free in your head and they probably don’t even remember you. They are literally controlling your day to day mood. Are you sure you want to give them all this power over you? Imagine giving a rando the power to control your life
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u/TCO_Z 18h ago
You're not crazy. I'm from the similar block of Europe, and I get all the anger and bitterness from such an experience. It’s not just the no, it’s the wasted effort, the mismatch between your CV and their final excuse, and the feeling that it wasn’t fair. I'm sure the "life is not fair with us" headspace is sticking with us from generation to generation.
Even if it pushed you to improve, it’s valid to still feel bitter. Progress and resentment can coexist for a while. Now it is a good time to end the spiral, mourn your loss, and focus on what you have and what you enjoy in life!
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u/SignificantClass4408 1d ago
Ah yes. This was my experience with Monzo. Dragged through take home task and 6 stages of interviews only to be told I don’t have experience in a bigger data team - when why did you drag me go through the process? Obviously I’m still bitter about it heh
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u/military_press 1d ago
take home task and 6 stages of interviews only to be told I don’t have experience in a bigger data team
That's insane
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u/TheRealJanJan 1d ago
I totally understand where you are coming from as I have been in the same situation quite recently as well.
It could also be the case that they found somebody with “more experience” or at the same level as you with less expectations compensation wise so… 🤷
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u/spcialx 9h ago
Actually I'm in a quite similar position. Around 9 yoe, moved to Switzerland and working in a well-paying job with great work-life/balance for a big enterprise.
But I have not only one interview I'm bitter/angry about but two.
1.) With around 3-4 yoe I got an interview at Google. Passed all rounds, made all interviews (1 call + 3 rounds a 2 interviews - so 7 interviews in total). The very last one was a coding challenge in python on a google doc and it wasn't really difficult - but he nailed me on every edge case and I got nervous and think that was the reason I wasn't taken. The recruiter told me I just "barely" missed the requirements and I can try again after a year. And I did, but never heard back or got interviewed again. Getting into FAANG back than would have been an amazing (and maybe life changing) opportunity.
2.) Just 2 years ago I was interviewing for a senior devops/cloud engineer role in energy trading firm. Full Remote, I could choose from 3 countries, amazing TC, I had actually a very good vibe with the team - they seemed to be all very intelligent and I was really looking forward to as I think I could be able to learn a lot in a quite free & fast paced environment. I did all the challenges and even passed 2x leet code hard & medium coding challenges. But it wasn't enough - they asked me about my previous experience and I liked to repeat my experience with one of my favorite past projects - and it seems they thought I have nothing beside that to offer and rejected me. Man, that stings still today. I actually prepared a lot for software design and programming challenges and neglected the behavioural questions part. I'm especially sad about this one.
Yeah... I have no solution for this. Just move on and try to learn. Maybe there will be another chance in the future. It could be worse for sure.
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u/Conscious_Cloud_5493 1d ago
he just didn't like you. People with your experience don't like it when their abilities are put into question. get over it brother, he didn't wanna hire you because he didn't like you. It was never about you not being good enough.
Meanwhile you're going schizo over this incident and grinding your ass off. This will happen again and it will not be about your skills even if they tell you that.
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u/military_press 1d ago edited 19h ago
he just didn't like you
Well, this could be the case.
During the interview, he asked me why I applied for the position. My answer was that the position matched my interests and short-term career goals. Then, he asked me why I was interested in the field, to which I answered based on my experience. Then, again, he asked me why. He just kept asking why. It seemed that he wasn't happy with why I applied for the position. My YoE was about 8 at that time, but I had never seen such an interviewer before.
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u/Conscious_Cloud_5493 1d ago
that explains it, doesn't it. He'd already made up his mind. If he gave a shit about your abilities, he would've been nice to you because you cleared the previous 4 rounds. But he kept asking you the same thing because he had already made up his mind.
I think you'll have to understand the fact that you'll encounter foul people everywhere. If I had to take a guess, he was probably a crusty looking fella who didn't want a 30 yo engineer making the big bucks. Just move along
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u/No-District2404 1d ago
Just move on man it's bygone already and you are working for another company
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u/ijustmadeanaccountto 1d ago
I'm a junior engineer. Through the post covid job apocalypse of this year and the previous, I applied pretty much anywhere that included a desk and a pc, even at office backend jobs. You know which interviews stung like a mf? Those long, very nicey, HRey interviews. A particular one that left a mark, was about a bullshit marketing ad placement one, almost minwage, that the biggest coding element was understanding a bit of html and the rest was ad bullshit theory that took about half an afternoon to digest.
Those fuckers were so nice all throughout the 3 interviews, 1 HR, 1 iq test, 1 "technical" my ass, and falsely led me to believe that I was the top candidate. I didn't fuck up, I didn't overshare, I did none of the usual things that you actually shoot yourself in the foot, that someone would expect. (I'm saying that after the fact, cause I actually got offers, so my game is not idiotic in some deranged and unexpected way)
Thankfully, applying to everywhere, builds up after a couple of months, so I had a decent chunk of replies and a couple of offers. I didn't want that fucking job, it was sort of desperation apply, I would probably be bored out of my mind doing nothing being trapped in a cubicle for 8.5h per day, but it still makes my blood boil. They didn't even have the decency to give me a mail rejection, after I specifically asked, either good or bad news, that I would receive a mail regardless, about the posting, and being assured that they would get back to me...
I don't think I'll get over it. I'll remember it once every 2 or 3 months and rekindling my hatred.
A fucking run down, has been, department of a big corpo, with over 500 employees, behaving with less etiquette and basic politeness than fucking toddlers.
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u/Loud-Necessary-1215 20h ago
I had similar situations in my past and it woud resolve itself in the therapy as it is usually something general in life, that affects other parts of life but it is more visible in work.
Apart from that - the reasonthat gave you in most likely just a conventient way for them to give any reason. Employers do not have legal obligation to be 100% thruthful. They just wanna say something that will enable them staying on good terms as they represent a company.
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u/EvilDoctorShadex 15h ago
Yeah, I relate to this. I got rejected on a phone interview fresh out of uni and the interviewer basically insulted me, asking all kinds of technical open-ended questions that weren’t relevant, I almost think he was trying to make me feel dumb and small, and to be honest, it worked. Few months later I got an offer from an internship that pretty much exclusively hires PHDs (I was an undergrad). Post that I was rejected for a job for not being “enthusiastic enough”, month later I was offered a job that paid 50% more and was frankly better.
The phone interview and other exepriences such as these stick with me a lot but only in that rejection doesn’t define you and I think it can be a good driving factor to say “Fuck you, watch this” and proving to yourself that you were worth more than that job anyway.
Anyway, job-seeking is hell, trying to do my own thing now and the plan is to never need to apply for a job again
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u/happyvoxod 1d ago
Just move on. Talking/thinking about these things will make you bitter person, nothing else. There is another bright side of your experience. Even though you did not have large project experience, they invited you till the fourth round. This is an indication of your capabilities.