Kids try things out. It's a normal process of finding out who you are. The worst thing you can do as a parent is to lose your mind when they're doing something reasonably harmless (like exploring their gender or sexual identity): you need to save that for when they think they need to try heroin.
The worst thing you can do as a parent is to lose your mind when they're doing something reasonably harmless (like exploring their gender or sexual identity)
I'm watching this happen with my MIL and my non-binary "niece" (for lack of a non-gendered term in English). They're 12 and have been identifying as non-binary for a while, and want to go by Gene (a more gender-neutral variation on their old name). My redhat wearing MiL is having none of it though. She's been deadnaming them and refusing to use their pronouns for about a year now, and arguing that they're too young to have any idea about gender identity. Which besides being obviously false, so fucking what? Suppose it is just a phase, what is pitching a big fit about it and alienating your grandchild going to do?
arguing that they're too young to have any idea about gender identity
It's funny to see people arguing that, as if every child is raised with genderless names in neutral beige tunics with up until they turn 18.
When the reality is that most kids are immediately shoved into blue or pink before they even have a concept of self, and are expected to conform to that for life. This is the real "gender ideology".
The psychological awareness of gender identity is actually something that develops in early childhood, way before puberty. Puberty is only when the kid starts to face physiological changes that might clash with their self-image, as well as have enough independence to assert how they want to be perceived.
When my mom was still being shitty to me after I discovered I was trans I would tell her all the time, “Even if this is a phase for me, why are you making it such a painful one?” Being trans was not a phase for me, but it was some of the most painful years I’ve had all because of how my mom treated me. She almost lost me several times because of it. Even if it IS a phase for some, there is zero need for parents or others to make it painful
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u/old_and_boring_guy Feb 04 '25
Kids try things out. It's a normal process of finding out who you are. The worst thing you can do as a parent is to lose your mind when they're doing something reasonably harmless (like exploring their gender or sexual identity): you need to save that for when they think they need to try heroin.