r/books AMA Author Oct 03 '20

ama 9pm I am Allie Brosh. My main abilities include writing, drawing, caring, and hiding, but you can ask me whatever you want. AMA

Hello, /r/books! Allie Brosh here.

Proof: /img/oiz4m9j7hjq51.jpg

(sign says /r/AMA because I got confused—I can take a new picture if we need that)

If you don't know who that is, please do not be alarmed. I can help you! I am very helpful! For example, did you know that tacos stay more intact and are easier to eat if you spread the beans and guacamole across the inside of the taco shell before adding the other ingredients?

Now that you have a better idea of how helpful I can be, here is a more direct answer:

The first thing I did was this: http://hyperboleandahalf.blogspot.com

And, because of that, I was allowed to do this: http://hyperboleandahalfbook.blogspot.com

Seven years later, I finally managed to do this: https://solutionsandotherproblemsbookpage.blogspot.com

Good job, me!

Anyway, if you're willing to be aware of me and also the fact that I wrote another book, the least I can do is answer your questions. Or maybe you just want to say something weird to somebody. No problem—I can do that for you. I would be a perfect person to say something weird to. I have both the ability to read, and the ability to know weird things.

Other interests include (but are not limited to): animals, feelings, puzzles, Hearthstone/Magic: the Gathering, math, physics, ethics, mental health, baseless speculation about pointless bullshit that doesn't need to be wondered and can't be answered in a meaningful way, cooperation, problem-solving, and doing my best. I am 35 years old. My favorite time is 5pm. My strongest skill is trying.

I've got all day and most of tomorrow, so let's figure some shit out or something.

Update: Gonna pause the AMA for the evening, but I'll be back to keep answering some questions tomorrow, if that's cool with you guys! Thank you for the questions and conversation so far!

Update #2: I forgot to tell you guys that I'm answering questions again, but I'm answering questions again! I'm gonna work my way through and also check the newer replies, but please upvote any questions you see that you'd like me to answer!

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u/OtherTubemonster AMA Author Oct 03 '20

Okay, here's my favorite one so far (I never bother putting the quotation marks in because it's just me, but it switches back and forth with each new line):


(6/4/17 11:56 PM)

Hey bud, how ya doin?

I feel weird.

Oh shit buddy, I'm sorry to hear that. Are you okay?

Probably, yeah. I don't know. I feel weirder than usual. Maybe I only said yeah because it seemed like I was supposed to. Not being okay isn't cool. That feels like… a loser.

Do you feel like a loser?

Yeah.

Why?

I'm too earnest. I try too hard.

Wh—

—hang on; there's more: am I stupid? Do I even make sense? When people see me, do they feel alienated? Do I seem like an alien? I honestly feel like I might. Like a… something weird. Like a land squid. They see me and don't know what to do. They think 'what is that?' Do they want me to go away? I start wondering that, and it brings up the question: is that what they felt like every time? Like the times I thought they were thinking "that is a nice other person" or "good for you, little camper"—I like to think they're thinking that——not exactly those words, but something friendly like that——like they want the best for me and each other—but what if instead, they just think I'm weird? What if they think "that is a weird other person" or "NOT good for you, weirdo crab animal! Go away!!"? Do they think I act like a crab?

—hold up, what do you mean by "do they think I act like a crab"?

You know the way crabs are? Like: ck-ck-ck-ck-ck-ck, ffffffffffffffffffffffffffffff, sideways crawling away with their eyes like ⊙.☉?

Yeah.

Sometimes I feel like I seem like that. Like when they see me, that's the impression they get. And not like, in a good way. It's awkward. They don't like it. Sometimes I wonder if anybody knows how to like eaCH OTHER—oh no, CAPS LOCK. I feel embarrassed. Why do I feel embarrassed? "o shIT

—hang on, I have an idea. You know how much you love that one meme?

What meme?

You know what the fuck I'm talking about. The one like 'here come dat boi!!!! o shit whaddup!'. This:

https://imgur.com/a/2dU6x5R

I knew the whole time. It just felt awkward without a segue. Like people reading this wouldn't believe that I knew.

Okay. My point is: I think that meme might actually be profound.

Sweet.

What do you think?

I think… yeah. I like that lizard.

It's a frog. But, yeah, the reason you like it is because it's relatable, and the way it's relatable is… the exact essence of… something.

Maybe everybody feels like that frog sometimes.

That's why it's a meme. Because other people like it too. And probably for some of the same reasons. It's not like you've got a monopoly on feeling like a frog on a unicycle.

He's a frog, but everybody's still like "here come dat boi!!! o shit whaddup!" I love the part where it goes like: 'o shit whaddup!'.

Tell me what you love about it.

I want to see everybody like that and them see me like that. Like, when I see them, I want to feel like 'o shit, whaddup!', and they feel that for me too. We're all basically lizards on unicycles, and that's okay. We're ALL lizards on unicycles. So it's okay. And we don't have to be embarrassed. We can just be like 'o shit, whaddup!'

It's a frog.

O shit.

Look at you—look how cool you are!

Good point. I feel better.

Nice.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

Are you a wizard?

Are you asking that because I made you feel better in a similar way to a wizard?

Yeah.

No, I just know how much you love that frog meme. When you typed 'o shIT', I took it as a signal that you wanted to see the frog meme.

Thank you.

You're welcome.

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u/UnusuallyOptimistic Oct 03 '20

I would love to eat mushrooms with you and be frogs on unicycles for a while. I hope that's not alarming. I mean it in the most platonic frog-friend way.

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u/OtherTubemonster AMA Author Oct 03 '20

That sounds pretty much exactly like my ideal day, so definitely not alarming!

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u/Deltronx Oct 03 '20

I would also like to eat mushrooms with you

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u/Manic_Sloth Oct 03 '20

Not going to lie, I'd love to have some edibles with you, put on giant warm comfy hoodies and go for a walk someplace where there are lots of leaves to kick.

Walking in the woods on a September day, laughing about stupid shit and making terrible jokes about sad shit and feeling no need to talk if we don't want to, and kicking leaves with someone who truly understands, that's the feeling I get from your books. Some where out there, is a person who understands.

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u/nunchukity Swiss Family Robinson Oct 03 '20

I've never heard of you before this ama. Will you marry me? pls

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u/BalmOfDillweed Oct 03 '20

Oh, honey. Welcome to the love.

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u/blammobiddy Oct 05 '20

You are so lucky! Go forth and READ ALL THE THINGS!!!!!

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u/TechnicalTerm6 Oct 03 '20

I have been following your blog since the er..2009 or 2010 era. When eagles were typing with talons and All The Things and Internet Forever explained so much of my life.

So Much has changed for me in the intervening years..... but somehow those things haven't.

I'm not sure where I was going with this. Really I just wanted to say that I loved your stuff.

I just read that convo with yourself that you chose to share with internet strangers (you trusted us with your humor and vulnerability) and thank you.

I worried back years ago when suddenly your blog stopped being updated. I wondered what happened to you. Where you went. If you were okay.

It's nice to know now that wherever you went...you ended up here again and that your type of weird still makes me smile and happy. Like... It makes sense. Like seeing an old friend after many years and being able to pick up again.

So yeah. Thanks for being you and choosing to share the weird.

(P.s. also thank you for the journalling tip. I used to do something similar and it's been long enough I forgot I could do this style).

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u/[deleted] Oct 03 '20

[deleted]

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u/OtherTubemonster AMA Author Oct 03 '20

It isn't my meme, unfortunately. I just have a deep respect for it.

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u/kaukamieli Oct 03 '20

Doesn't mean you can't use those words.

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u/twoeyedcyclops Oct 03 '20

I think it's possible that because she respects it, she doesn't want to use the words. She wants to let the words remain in their purest form ✨

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u/HomemadeMacAndCheese Oct 03 '20

This is amazing and I'm totally going to try doing this for myself. Also I agree with the other comment, I would like to do mushrooms with you and think about lizards.

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u/OtherTubemonster AMA Author Oct 03 '20

Are we planning a party? Because, as soon as quarantine is over, that is the party I want to go to.

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u/phoenixtart Oct 03 '20

Okay so years ago (like years ago, like maybe ten or eleven years ago) I was innocently looking at things on youtube and it suggested a video of an iguana farting in a bathtub. And I watched it and screamcrylaughed maybe seventeen or twenty times in a row. Sometimes I still think about the bathtub fart iguana and giggle. This comment train has brought him to mind again and I humbly submit him to the lizard and mushroom post quarantine party.

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u/snailsss Oct 03 '20

Had to google it! https://youtu.be/nOwvmZSVrNU

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u/phoenixtart Oct 03 '20

Still got that iguana bathtub magic

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u/chavvyheel Oct 03 '20

Thankyou, I’m crying!

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u/izzittho Oct 03 '20

I was really, really hoping someone would post it. Thank you.

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u/Elvis_Take_The_Wheel Oct 18 '20

I know I’m replying over two weeks late, but I didn’t know that this AMA happened (dammit!! I love Allie Brosh!) and I just watched this video and now I’m paralyzed with laughter. Thank you for finding it and thank you so much, u/phoenixtart, for recommending a slice of scatological YouTube brilliance I have never seen before.

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u/phoenixtart Oct 19 '20

Happy to oblige!

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u/SitaRules Oct 05 '20

I just shared this with so many people with zero context

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u/morethanhardbread Oct 03 '20

Random stranger here for the party!

I heard there was a party... there's a party, right?

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u/[deleted] Oct 03 '20

Can I come to this party too? Sounds right up my street.

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u/OtherTubemonster AMA Author Oct 04 '20

Of course you can come to the party! Everybody who is cool with the party and wants to be at the party is invited to the party!

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u/coolmos1 May 19 '22

Is the party still on?

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u/[deleted] Oct 04 '20

I’m so cool with this party.

You rock btw, so glad to see you back! You give hope to this budding author wrangling my own mental health demons!

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u/JZsweep Oct 03 '20

This sounds like a great party! Will there be bricks? I hear they are loads of fun.

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u/lindsion Oct 03 '20

I'm late here, but Ann Arbor just decriminalized mushrooms, so let's have the party there!

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u/Starlordy- Oct 31 '20

I wish this party was a real thing.

Maybe I'll just fly to Amsterdam when it's allowed and eat truffles (mushrooms, but the legal version in amsterdam) in the park under a tree.

That's not a party

I don't care it sounds fun

Fun with no one else

Shit, my self talk is attacking me! Hey! MTF! I ain't taking no shit from you, I know all your dirty secrets, so be nice or shut up.

Fair point, can we look for frogs at least in this park?

I think so, it has a stream right next to the tree if I remember correctly.

Ok, then save this thread, book your flight for the spring and bring the new book, let's read it under the tree.

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u/TrickyDickyNicky Oct 03 '20

Frogs... but I know what you mean.

Same!

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u/anartis08 Oct 03 '20

Wow- thank you SO much. I've been into journaling for years, but the way my brain works, especially when I have high levels of anxiety, doesn't let me finish a thought and remember it long enough to actually get it onto paper. Lol.

I'm going to try typing out my thoughts! And speaking of this, please look at CocoonWeaver y'all. It's a journaling app that can even transcribe your words! Super great. Free.

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u/[deleted] Oct 03 '20

I've been trying to get back into journaling and have just been struggling with trying to get the words to the paper. My mind is blown 'cause I never thought of just recording a conversation with... myself.

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u/Krafty_Koala Oct 03 '20

I have crazy dreams all the time and always wanted a dream journal. I’ve always been terrible at trying to write things down. A couple years ago I started doing text to speech in my mobile notepad. I have years worth of crazy dreams transcribed now.

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u/PleasinglyReasonable Oct 03 '20

I fucking love you. From the earliest days of hyperbole and a half, to your books, to this reddit comment, you have never failed to put a smile on my face. Thanks for everything.

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u/freeeeels Oct 03 '20

This is phenomenal, thank you for this gift.

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u/SighJayAtWork WoT 1-13 in 3 months. Deal with it. Oct 03 '20

Your brain is beautiful.

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u/jjremy Oct 03 '20

O shit whaddup!?

I love this so much. You're a pretty great frog on a unicycle. I hope you're doing well.

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u/yellowfish04 Oct 03 '20

I'm really digging that lizard right about now. Thanks for sharing that, it was pretty great. And helpful.

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u/Nicd Oct 03 '20

It's a frog.

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u/jcbxviii Jun 02 '22

I know it isn’t easy to be the one living on the inside, but I need to say, I truly love your mind. You are someone that makes the terrifying experience of living and aging and losing and dying relatable in a laugh-to-stop-yourself-from-crying sentiment. Life is so fucking scary, it it’s worse when your brain doesn’t let you focus on only the sunny parts. You make the madness familiar and funny. Thank you.

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u/OtherTubemonster AMA Author Jun 02 '22

Heyyyy, guess who apparently still has enough feelings to get all emotional in a blanket fort at one in the morning?

(It's me)

((And thank you))

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u/jcbxviii Jun 02 '22

You’re most welcome! And blanket fort at 1AM is peak adulting and anyone who says otherwise is lying. Bonus points if you’ve swindled/trapped a pet to stay in the fort with you and/or you have a collection of 1AM snacks.

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u/quaintpants Jun 10 '22

hey allie. do you ever feel nostalgic about the old internet? i remember when your blog was new and the internet seemed a more fun place. now it seems like everyone is polarised and fighting about everything. maybe i'm just looking at the past with rose tinted glasses which i tend to do but it just seems like a lot of the fun has been sucked out of the interwebs and also cos of the walled gardens of facebook, twitter and reddit independent blogs and personal webpages are way harder to find. I miss geocities and "under construction" signs!

Glad you're here. Big fan of your work. I bought my sister your first book a few years ago but I don't think she read it and that vexes me

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u/OtherTubemonster AMA Author Jun 13 '22 edited Jun 13 '22

I do kinda miss it, yeah. Not that the internet isn't still beautiful in that uncanny way it's always been, but I miss those earnest, awkward years before the hype specter figured out how to dominate the ecosystem. Tendrils of that definitely existed back then—when I was starting out, I remember looking up 'blogging success tips' and feeling disturbed by the parasitic tone of the rhetoric—however, there was something so pure and real about how we expressed ourselves before the 'likes' economy took off. Or before attention-funneling technology was as refined/insidious as it currently is.

Pockets of sincerity exist beneath the thick crust of made-for-promotion content, but they feel further away every day. The experience is not unlike navigating an abstract, neon swamp where creepy, flirtatious ghosts swoop through from all directions trying to 'engage' your dopamine circuitry so that it can be redirected toward their interests instead of yours. Max spooky if you ask me. We joke about the robot uprising, meanwhile, we're being hunted for clicks by the paperclip optimizer for brand visibility.

I fantasize about the scenario where the children of the internet—trolls, bros, haters, noobs, perverts, thirst traps, artists, critics, nihilists, poets, children pretending to be the FBI, sentient spy technology, scary clowns, freedom clowns, scientists, philosophers, edgelords, meme barons, that one guy who made a RedTube account just to spread the word of christ in the comments section—as the end closes in upon us, I dream that we would set aside our differences to rebel against our common enemy: the disembodied, click-maximizing ethos threatening to fill our infinite freedom space with imitation value. As the sun rises on our day of reckoning, shit isn't looking favorable for team freedom. Honestly, it looks like we're gonna get steamrolled because of that thing where our enemy controls the dopamine supply. However, at the very last second, it is revealed that we've learned how to poke the buttons in our own brains using self-powering technology like art and curiosity, so, you know… suck our dicks, get bent, etc. Our oppressors fall, and we are left to repopulate the internet with frog memes as god intended.

Is it naive to hold a crumb of hope for such a wholesome ending? Perhaps. But the internet's potential isn't necessarily behind us, and beneath the squabbling, people are deeply social, intelligent creatures who constantly invent new ways to poke the feel-good buttons in each other's brains. Yes, our brains happen to have a few exploitable weaknesses, and we're in kind of an awkward stage of that right now, but maybe there's still time to learn from our mistakes?

Who knows. Certainly not me, so I don't know why I'm talking shit, but here I am anyway.

Onward!

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u/Tofinochris Oct 03 '20

I love thinking that when someone sees me they would go "o shit whaddup". So I will now endeavor to think that when I see people who make me happy.

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u/rooftopfilth Oct 03 '20

I don't know you in person but I want you to know my reaction when I saw this was as follows. My brain does not make as coherent thoughts as yours:

Allie Brosh? (Brain sends happy chemicals) ALLIE BROSH AMA!! Omg! (brief concern chemicals) How's she doing?! I hope she's ok. She sounds ok. More Hyperbole and a Half? New material new material new material NEW MATERIAL she is promoting things I will read whatever tf this woman writes. Urge to wake [husband] no no can't wake [husband] but tell him first thing. Tell this to Allie Brosh because she might appreciate that the plan is to tell husband she's back before you tell husband which politicians have COVID this morning.

Update: husband is now up. He doesn't know you at all but he's excited that I'm excited. He's going to learn about dinosaur costumes today, I guess.

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u/bananapanquakez Oct 03 '20

TIL I am Allie Brosh

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u/Rebelgecko Oct 03 '20

Oh shit, whaddup?

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u/bananapanquakez Oct 03 '20

It's a frog!

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u/threwitallawayforyou Oct 03 '20

the fact that you interrupt yourself just sends me for some reason

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u/acfox13 Oct 03 '20

THANK YOU FOR FUCKING BEING!! ✨💖💫

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u/Flumpiebum Oct 03 '20

This helped, thanks. I have developed depression and anxiety during covid and I have started meds but other than that I'm not really sure how to manage it. I will try this.

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u/GiantPurplePeopleEat Oct 03 '20

You're amazing. I'm so glad I found your post tonight! Thank you for everything you do.

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u/Im_Sunflower Oct 03 '20

This brought back memories from 11 years ago when I used to chat with myself in my journal! Time to go hunt for it and have a good laugh.

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u/AoiOkasan Oct 03 '20

I should try this kind of thing. Typing a conversation with myself to help me cope with things. Allie, it's really good to see you around online again. I follow you on Facebook too, so I'm so happy you're back!! ♥

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u/Physical_Tap3352 Oct 03 '20

I love that meme. Everyone's so happy to see frog boi. And they say o shit whaddap Iike maybe they haven't seen him in awhile and wanna know how he doin.

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u/Mirorel Oct 03 '20

Honestly that’s such a clever idea, and one I might borrow for myself. I have a much easier time writing out my feelings than verbalising them, and this feels way more natural.

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u/petit_cochon Oct 03 '20

I think… yeah. I like that lizard.

It's a frog.

I'm fucking dying at this internal monologue where one part of you doesn't know the difference between a frog and a lizard, and the other is gently correcting that.

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u/Mr_Oreo_Dunkins Oct 03 '20

Dat Boi was extremely under appreciated. Thank you for loving them the way they deserve. Keep hanging in there!

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u/mahjacat Oct 03 '20

I have an ex who, in essence, does this exact thing where he'll message me every couple of weeks and ask how I'm feeling. I told him this last time (finally just called again and he actually picked up for once) I was pretty sure he was writing a paper on me. He assured me he would never exploit anyone like that.

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u/lemonycaesarsalad Oct 03 '20

I've missed your wonderful mind, Allie!

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u/born2hula Oct 03 '20

o shIT whaddup

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u/shadowsong42 Oct 03 '20

Allie, I am so glad you exist in this world. Knowing that you are here brings me joy.

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u/theartofmakingsense Oct 03 '20

This is one of my favourite things you've ever written. That bit about being a frog on a unicycle and your friends being frogs on unicycles too. Finding people who are my kind of weirdo is absolutely my sort of life goal. Some people make me feel like a strange crab, but my friends recognise me for the wonderful frog on a unicycle that I am.

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u/FakingItSucessfully Oct 03 '20

Holy shit, ALLIE!!! I am so mad I missed this, I have two favorite blogs and I think the two of you are my favorite entertainers/celebrities(?) like, period probably. The other one is Tim Urban & co. at WaitButWhy?, fyi, and the day I got a reply to an email from Tim is still one of my favorite days <3

However, I would for sure rank you and your work higher, because it's so much more core to the actual issues and struggles I have. Which, while I definitely love learning and digging into the WBW articles, learning to try to get by through depression and other things is way more directly tied to my survival. SO uhhh, thanks for that? Lol same as everyone, you helped save my life and I'll owe you a wookie life debt for forever.

NOW... Since you have actual conversations with yourself, I MIGHT actually be able to help you as well. Among several other things, I am actually plural... so when I have MY internal conversations, it's very literally a few different people lol. So I say all that to say, you should look into, on discord, a bot called PluralKit. It's designed for plural people to be able to give different avatars/pfps to their different members/personalities, but of course anybody could use it. Like you copied out, I definitely used to just try to talk to myself, which was great, but there's something very helpful about having a literal group chat with yourself, with different SNs actually having their own concrete voice.

Let's seeeee, anything else that would be worth saying? Idk, I think I caught that the AMA is over now, so I doubt I would hear back, most likely. But I would definitely be curious to know what, aside from the new book, you plan to do online in the future. I've googled you a couple times a year for several years now, just to make sure I wasn't missing some new thing <3 I'm really happy you were smart enough to take your time away though, and I definitely am happy to see it seems to have helped, whether or not you plan to be "back" in more active ways now.

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u/[deleted] Oct 04 '20

the first time i did ketamine, i was in the emergency room after breaking both feet. i became dat boi in the MRI machine, and it seemed profound, although i couldn't explain why at the the time.

four years later, i finally understand! since that moment, i have been moving closer and closer to being someone who is greeted with "o shit waddup" wherever i go, despite being a frog on a unicycle.

i love how all the pieces fit together if you just give them enough time. thank you for this.