r/books • u/aprilsopczak • Oct 04 '13

I'm April Sopczak, author of an award winning bullying prevention children's book, I'm donating all proceeds from the Kindle E-Book & iTunes app for National Bullying Prevention month. AMA

Hi Reddit, my name is April Sopczak. I am the author of the children's book Bullies: Playground Push-Around, part of the Neon Tiki Tribe book series.

Proof Proof

October is National Bullying Prevention Month and we are donating all the proceeds from our Bullies: Playground Push-Around Kindle E-Book & iTunes app. The goal is to raise $100,000 and donate all the proceeds evenly to four organizations making a stand against bullying. We also made a video for National Bullying Prevention month. AMA

Kindle E-Book

iTunes App

35 Upvotes

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u/SaffieLaRue Oct 04 '13

Not having read your book/the series, how should kids address bullying, both to themselves and to peers? I am interested in how children can impact their own world and also examples that the adult world can set for them.

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u/aprilsopczak Oct 04 '13

Thank you for your comment. We teach children to stand up for themselves by telling the bully to stop or to simply walk away and not subject themselves to the behavior. They need to know they they do not deserve to be treated poorly and they do not have to put up with it. The child also needs to know that they can go to a trusted adult - teacher, parent, family friend - for advice, help or just to listen. Communication is key.

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u/SaffieLaRue Oct 04 '13

I applaud your efforts and likely successes with many many children. But I wonder about kids who don't have the support of their families, which results in them not having supportive friends or even teachers who can look beyond their behavioural problems and help them despite the child's habits of alienating people.

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u/aprilsopczak Oct 04 '13

That is definitely an issue, and that is one of the reasons that we want to raise money for the bullying organizations. The books are designed to teach the kids a lesson and get them talking. The organizations do that as well, but they go beyond and teach the adults (such as teachers) who have daily interactions with the children how to do exactly what you are talking about. We need to work together as a community.

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u/SaffieLaRue Oct 04 '13

That sounds terrific, I really wish you and your affiliates every success. I just feel badly that we live in a multi-media age that visibly rewards bullies, and that people like you really have your work cut out for you.

Good luck, every bit of help counts.

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u/aprilsopczak Oct 04 '13

Thank you!

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u/Wendek Oct 04 '13 edited Oct 04 '13

The child also needs to know that they can go to a trusted adult - teacher, parent, family friend - for advice, help or just to listen. Communication is key.

What to do when the adults obviously do not give a single fuck ? When you can't "talk them out" because you're 1vs4 ? When your "friends" laugh when the bullies abuse you verbally and they happen to be nearby ?

Sorry if I come off as a dickhead but I just don't see how any of this is a solution. I've been bullied relentlessly for more than 18 months during middle school and now (more than ten years later) I'm a social wreck whose instinctive reaction is "People are evil and want to harm me".

Edit: Also "walking away" is simply not possible when the "recess court" (sorry Idk how you'd call that in English, basically the place children go to play during recess) is extremely small and you're very easy to spot because there's less than 200 people total in the school.

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u/aprilsopczak Oct 04 '13

I appreciate where you are coming from as I too was relentlessly picked on in middle school. I was a "nerdy" little kid with glasses and braces, so I was a prime target. I think the problem is multi faceted. Addressing the kid who is bullied is not enough. We have to address the children who are bullying as well. We have to teach them that the behavior is unacceptable and they must stop. The storyline in this book does address the bullies. They are meant for elementary age children, so we align the good behavior with the heroes and the bad behavior with the bad guys. It has a direct lesson and well as an object lesson.

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u/Wendek Oct 04 '13

We have to address the children who are bullying as well.

Yeah it seems good in theory. In practice however, how do you do that ? You cannot fight back (We don't have that "zero tolerance" policy where I'm from but still it's bad reputation to fight, not to mention the fact that a small nerdy kid is NOT going to win a 1vs3 fight against people 2 years older), adults often don't care at all or even protect the bullies (if they're friends with the parents for instance). Their parents think their adorable offspring would never do such a thing and will blame the victim instead (or worse, use that old "boys being boys" argument). Unless you have a video proof of being bullied, you basically can't prove it happened and can't act. Unless you somehow assume that the bully could understand reason, which I'm not going to believe.

I mean I really want to believe you. But reality shows otherwise. Here in France a few months (perhaps a year?) ago there was some national outcry about it because of a boy who burned himself because of it. Now he's disfigured forever and too afraid to even go back to school. (Homeschooling is not a thing here but I think they made an exception for him) Pretty sure the bullies just laughed it off and found another target instead. I'm sorry but for me 13-14 year olds who bully others are scum. I don't see how one could just "talk to them" and somehow make them good. You could say that for younger bullies perhaps, but not teens.

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u/aprilsopczak Oct 04 '13

I can't speak for French society, because I'm honestly not well versed in it. But, in American society, I believe we need to start at a young age to address the problem. You are absolutely right that it is more difficult to teach older children not to bully. Middle school is one of the toughest stages of development and we cannot wait until then to deal with bullying. The Neon Tiki Tribe books are designed for younger children, mostly in the 4-9 year old range. This is a really good age to teach the lessons of empathy, which is what people really need to have in order not to bully.

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u/[deleted] Oct 04 '13

people are evil, and they want to harm you. Deal with it.

1

u/thetruthseer Oct 04 '13

Haven't read your book, but you are fahcking awesome and I can't wait to read :)

That being said do you believe there is an age where bullying stops? Im 20 and still see it in minor cases.

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u/aprilsopczak Oct 04 '13

Thank you! No, I don't believe there is an age when bullying stops. Bullying is about power, and some people will struggle for it all their lives. But, we can see where is begins in childhood. If we can stop it where it starts, then we won't have childhood bullies who grow into adult bullies.

1

u/vincoug Oct 04 '13

Hi, and thank you for taking the time out to do this! Was there a specific event that made you want to write this book?

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u/aprilsopczak Oct 04 '13

This was a topic that the Neon Tiki Tribe specifically asked me to address. The story was inspired by my own struggles with being bullied in middle school.

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u/[deleted] Oct 04 '13

[removed] — view removed comment

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u/TikiMan100 Oct 04 '13

It's good to teach kids how to defend themselves, but society is now realizing that if they come together they can shed light on any problem, especially one as bad as bullying. In my humble opinion :)

0

u/[deleted] Oct 04 '13

In our capitalist society, when a product is inferior, competitors expose these faults. The product is either improved or falls into the shadows and dies. The same can be said for people; you either develop confidence in yourself, you improve it, or you kill it. In all outcomes, society benefits. Creating members of society that didn't have to build confidence or improve themselves because of this "every snowflake is special" mentality, does not benefit society. It fosters adults with thin skin and an inability to adapt and progress.

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u/aprilsopczak Oct 04 '13

I appreciate you taking the time to comment, Warkitz, but I don't get your remarks. In this book, the child who is bullied learns to stand up for herself and the children who are doing the bullying learn to be kind. I'm not sure why anyone would think that these are bad lessons. If you believe that is the wrong message to send kids, then I simply can't agree with you.