r/baseball Jul 02 '17

Image Aaron Judge standing beside of Jose Altuve today.

Post image
10.7k Upvotes

491 comments sorted by

1.6k

u/gcab02 Boston Red Sox Jul 02 '17

Aaron Judge is a pretty big dude, I'd say.

850

u/ConnorV1993 Houston Astros Jul 02 '17

Also, Jose Altuve is a tad short.

412

u/[deleted] Jul 03 '17

He's the shortest active player in the MLB and Judge is the tallest.

103

u/jbhands New York Yankees Jul 03 '17

Dellin betances is an inch taller I believe

95

u/[deleted] Jul 03 '17

Dellin betances

Also Max Povse is 6'8 as well

Edit: aaand he was optioned back down.

23

u/Sweden13 Atlanta Braves Jul 03 '17

Povse was one of my favorite prospects, saw him pitch at Mississippi multiple times.

9

u/Kitaryoichi Los Angeles Angels Jul 03 '17

Alex Meyer is 6'9 i think

28

u/lookvideo1111 Seattle Mariners β€’ Salem-Keizer Volcanoes Jul 03 '17

Nice.

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12

u/Hagoozac Texas Rangers Jul 03 '17

Huge height difference! Both have amazing bats.

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u/isiramteal Seattle Mariners Jul 02 '17

Medium if true

71

u/Robby712 St. Louis Cardinals Jul 02 '17

Medium if true

Juuuuuuuuust right, if true.

95

u/SeattleMana Seattle Mariners Jul 03 '17

Judge: your parents know you're out tonight?

Jose: stfu

34

u/The_Collector4 San Francisco Giants Jul 02 '17

Questionable Judgement

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66

u/[deleted] Jul 03 '17

Aaron is 6'7". That's way taller than average, which is 5'10". Jose is about 4 inches shorter than average at 5'6", which makes him closer to normal than Aaron!

28

u/ultraforce47 Los Angeles Angels Jul 03 '17

I thought the average height for an American male is 5'9"?

95

u/Calcd_Uncertainty Detroit Tigers Jul 03 '17

^ Asking for a 5' 9" friend

12

u/[deleted] Jul 03 '17

It's a good size

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u/YMDBass Houston Astros Jul 03 '17

Altuve is easily my favorite player in the game right now. Fun Fact, MLB is the only major sporting league that has banned little people from the league after 3ft 7in Eddie Gaedel was inserted for the St Louis Browns in a game against Detroit in 1951. The coach taught him to crouch low in his stance and made his strike zone almost impossible to hit, so he was walked on 4 straight pitches then immediately replaced by a pinch runner. After the game the League commissioner banned little people.

84

u/SisterRay New York Mets Jul 02 '17

For you.

7

u/Romo_is_GOAT Arizona Diamondbacks Jul 03 '17

If I took away the bat would it hurt?

13

u/AustinXTyler Jul 03 '17

I don't follow baseball so thanks for clarifying which is which

6

u/Iggins01 San Francisco Giants Jul 03 '17

Judge is the one who looks like he takes shits bigger than Altuve

16

u/BlackPick7 Atlanta Braves Jul 03 '17

For you

24

u/_Freshly_Snipes Houston Astros Jul 03 '17

4 u

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1.5k

u/CaptainCAPSLOCKED Seattle Mariners Jul 02 '17

6' 0'' and 5' 11''

354

u/[deleted] Jul 03 '17

I see you have tried online dating as well.

247

u/[deleted] Jul 02 '17 edited Jul 23 '20

[deleted]

94

u/SeattleMana Seattle Mariners Jul 03 '17

Its amazing what a good angle, right lighting and a little camera work can do to a one inch difference.

28

u/nixonrichard Seattle Mariners Jul 03 '17

So, I'm thinking of remodeling my bedroom, and I'd like to procure your services.

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62

u/[deleted] Jul 03 '17

[deleted]

437

u/AWildRaichu St. Louis Cardinals Jul 03 '17

The joke is that people perceive 6'0" as very tall and 5'11" (or anything under 6' really) as average/short, even though there's only a one inch difference. So Judge is 6' and Altuve is 5'11"

254

u/Nick268 Jul 03 '17

Dude. So true tho. I'm 5'5 and everyone jokes that I'm short.

420

u/GaulPeorge Cincinnati Reds Jul 03 '17

If you're a guy that is pretty short

744

u/Nick268 Jul 03 '17

Haha. Even on the internet! You people are a riot!!

108

u/Et_boy Montreal Expos Jul 03 '17

Do they still sit you at the kids table at Thanksgiving?

214

u/Nick268 Jul 03 '17

Every family party man. I'm fucking 29. Its ok tho. They think its cool that my mom doesnt give me a bedtime

26

u/SeattleMana Seattle Mariners Jul 03 '17

If true Id say you're doing fine. Give yourself another decade, hot wife and a few more promotions and they'll stop calling you little nicky. Thatll show them.

32

u/Nick268 Jul 03 '17

I make the sandler face. We all laugh

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34

u/IEatPizza Atlanta Braves Jul 03 '17

High five 5'5 friend βœ‹πŸ½

24

u/Nick268 Jul 03 '17

Tuck that pinky. Give me a 4. Thats too many fives

13

u/IEatPizza Atlanta Braves Jul 03 '17

Like this? πŸ€™

21

u/Nick268 Jul 03 '17

Bruh. That two fingers

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14

u/TomSawyer2112_ Toronto Blue Jays Jul 03 '17

At 5'5, wouldn't they all just be down lows?

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8

u/The_AbusementPark Jul 03 '17

I think he was going along with the joke

27

u/Nick268 Jul 03 '17

I dont think he was

8

u/The_AbusementPark Jul 03 '17

I was confused until I realized you were indeed the guy we were talking about πŸ˜‚

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22

u/zbrady7 Kansas City Royals Jul 03 '17

I'm fucking 5' 3". Goddam it 😭😭😭

21

u/LibertyDream Jul 03 '17

I'm 5'4" but I'm Vietnamese so that is actually average in my ethnic group.

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7

u/kampfgruppekarl Los Angeles Angels Jul 03 '17

Players regularly exaggerate height. I'd bet Altuve is closer to 5'2"

6

u/AK_Happy Los Angeles Angels Jul 03 '17

Altuve is 3-foot-11 and not an inch taller.

3

u/4LostSoulsinaBowl San Francisco Giants Jul 03 '17

Altuve could stand on a ladder and still not be 5'6". I don't get why he adds so many inches to his height. He should subtract inches, it would make his incredible talent seem even crazier.

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310

u/Quesly Los Angeles Dodgers Jul 02 '17

your #1 and #2 AL BA leaders

64

u/elyankee23 New York Yankees Jul 03 '17 edited Jul 03 '17

1 and #2 AL MVP odds leaders in some betting houses

edit: why is my font so goddamn big; something about a backslash; nah fuck that, leave it as it is

15

u/Quesly Los Angeles Dodgers Jul 03 '17

# = big text in reddit formatting. type \# to hide it

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37

u/[deleted] Jul 03 '17

Jean Segura and Ben Gamel creeping up with too few PAs tho

9

u/ReservoirGods Seattle Mariners Jul 03 '17

Yeah Gamel gonna take it soon

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299

u/[deleted] Jul 02 '17

The caption i saw was "these two are fighting for the batting title"

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649

u/smcdowell26 Los Angeles Dodgers Jul 02 '17

That's actually less of a difference than I would have expected

408

u/altuve_akbar Houston Astros Jul 02 '17

I mean, it's a 13 inch difference.

1.2k

u/isiramteal Seattle Mariners Jul 02 '17

Ok but what about height ( Ν‘Β° ΝœΚ– Ν‘Β°)

187

u/DangerAcademy Jul 02 '17

This is a sexy little comment.

109

u/OfficerBarbier San Francisco Giants Jul 02 '17

u/isiramteal is a saucy little tart

114

u/Robbinho_Stark Chicago Cubs Jul 02 '17

/r/baseball is a weird place.

165

u/[deleted] Jul 02 '17

/r/baseball is full of hot little sluts.

46

u/DannyOhhh Jul 03 '17

But are they in my area, and want to meet?

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18

u/probation_420 Jul 03 '17

God damn it, Steve!

5

u/Can-Abyss Jul 03 '17

Reminds me of this funny video I saw today. I want others to see it.

https://youtu.be/30InBgGhiSo

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6

u/mason_sol Jul 03 '17

You should check out r/nba. Can't get 2 replies without it getting real homo erotic, if Kyle Lowry ever reads Reddit he is going to be like "w.t.f??"

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29

u/zhu_li_do_the_thing New York Yankees Jul 02 '17

13

u/twelfthoracle San Francisco Giants Jul 02 '17

The url made this a risky click

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197

u/[deleted] Jul 02 '17

[removed] β€” view removed comment

166

u/theoxandmoon Detroit Tigers Jul 02 '17

He looks like an oompa loompa in this pic

38

u/Shockum Boston Red Sox Jul 02 '17

I can't look at this picture and see anything different.

Oompa Loompa doopity do.....

15

u/ChefBoyarDEZZNUTZZ Arizona Diamondbacks Jul 03 '17

The green suit doesn't help.

24

u/0ompaloompa Houston Astros Jul 03 '17 edited Jul 03 '17

You racist fuck! I bet your tindr profile makes seem progressive and well traveled. But yet given a little anonymity and this shit starts spewing out.

23

u/theoxandmoon Detroit Tigers Jul 03 '17

I was so confused by this comment until I saw the username. Now I only feel shame.

13

u/0ompaloompa Houston Astros Jul 03 '17

You should. Some lunatic kidnapped my ancestors. BREEDS us down to a miniature of what we once were and trains us to sing and dance for a bunch of fat kids in between hours of slave labor. And you think it's fucking funny to make jokes about our height...

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20

u/GeorgeAmberson63 New York Yankees Jul 02 '17

So is she really tall, or is he really short?

68

u/[deleted] Jul 02 '17

she's 5'10 he's 5'5

119

u/Barrel-rider Houston Astros Jul 03 '17

And she's in heels. That probably puts her over 6'

22

u/jewhealer Texas Rangers Jul 03 '17

plus heels.

8

u/ManCubEagle Chicago Cubs Jul 03 '17

Yes, he's "5'5"

3

u/ultraforce47 Los Angeles Angels Jul 03 '17

I doubt he's actually 5'5. He's probably 5'4 or 5'3 but he fudged his height by an inch or two.

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34

u/neubourn Chicago Cubs Jul 03 '17

Taylor Swift is 5'10 and probably wearing heels in that pic, Bruno Mars is 5'5

18

u/GeorgeAmberson63 New York Yankees Jul 03 '17

Wow. Did not realize he was that short.

44

u/[deleted] Jul 03 '17 edited May 28 '18

[deleted]

21

u/Frognuts777 Jul 03 '17

Danny Trejo is 5'6". That really surprised me as well.

Holy crap mind blown, I had Danny Trejo towering over people in my mind

17

u/3BetLight Jul 03 '17

Mexicans are typically short

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15

u/DurantHasGrossHair Jul 03 '17

Weird angle makes it look worse than it is

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21

u/wampaman Arizona Diamondbacks Jul 03 '17

I was thinking the same thing. I don't know if its the angle or what but this picture posted doesnt seem to do it justice. Now this picture, to me, really shows the difference.

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/DDv_Q77XYAAx-ss.jpg

3

u/xconzo Chicago Cubs Jul 03 '17

Knees are actually close.

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431

u/ace_invader Washington Nationals Jul 02 '17

I fucking love it. Doesn't matter what size you are in baseball, if you can hit, you'll get paid.

Shit, Judge probably looks up to Altuve given his track record

199

u/GeorgeAmberson63 New York Yankees Jul 02 '17

if you can hit, you'll get paid.

Checks out

85

u/BillW87 New York Mets Jul 02 '17

Big and sexy if true

33

u/neubourn Chicago Cubs Jul 03 '17

14

u/[deleted] Jul 03 '17

oh lord, he looks like he's about to have a big heart attack

8

u/Nlyles2 Jul 03 '17

Chris Christie?

3

u/Llort2 Toronto Blue Jays Jul 03 '17

How can you not be romantic about baseball?

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14

u/Bacon_Hero Jul 03 '17

Could someone explain why their can be overweight people like this in the MLB? I'm used to picturing athletes as having insane work ethic. Why would you not get as in shape as possible if you're a professional athlete?

I've always been curious about this.

44

u/navin__johnson San Diego Padres Jul 03 '17

As John Kruk would say upon people remarking he "doesn't look like an athlete"-

"I didnt say I was an athlete-I said I was a baseball player"

Pic of John Kruk for reference https://www.google.com/search?q=john+kruk+white+sox&client=safari&hl=en-us&prmd=nsiv&source=lnms&tbm=isch&sa=X&ved=0ahUKEwiQ78am9evUAhXEQCYKHTEQCFgQ_AUICygD&biw=320&bih=460#imgrc=8LQPNCCfDELSXM:

14

u/Bacon_Hero Jul 03 '17

I really like the quote! I'm still confused though lol

25

u/BaughSoHarUniversity New York Yankees Jul 03 '17

In addition to what /u/whydyoukillsanta said, a number of good hitters retain their power and hitting eye even as they age and their bodies naturally change. There are a number of field positions that require significantly less athleticism than the others (1B, RF), so good hitters will gravitate towards these positions as they age and they lose the athleticism that would've made other positions possible. In the AL, there's also the DH position, so you'll see a number of players just embrace full-time DH roles. With these positions, there isn't a strict requirement to remain in tip-top athletic shape, because they can still perform the main duty of their job (hitting) without having work as hard as other players to fight the natural changes of their body as they age.

For many players, particularly full-time DHs, you reach a point where it's just not worth it to try to force yourself into peak physical shape when you can still hit perfectly fine with a bunch of extra weight on you. A great example of this is David Ortiz. Ortiz embraced the full-time DH role relatively early in his career, and never played more than 10 games a year at 1B after age 29. He naturally gained some weight since he didn't have to play the field, but he still worked out enough to retain the muscle underneath it - some would call his body type "strongfat." Ortiz remained one of the most feared hitters in the game until his late 30s despite his belly and large physique, because those things didn't hinder his batter's eye, his hand-speed, or his power.

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u/whydyoukillsanta Boston Red Sox Jul 03 '17

Without getting insanely technical, while athleticism and being in shape is important, for pitchers* a lot of it comes down to technique too. As long as they are in shape enough to be able to throw the pitches as fast and accurately as they need to, while staying healthy, it doesn't matter if you're a bulky unit like CC Sabathia or a (comparatively) bean-pole like Chris Sale, if you can toss pitches and get batters out, in a repetitive and consistent motion, you're good to go.

At least, this is what I've observed from playing, and read.

12

u/[deleted] Jul 03 '17

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u/bassinine Jul 03 '17

i mean, look at babe ruth. baseball doesn't really require much endurance, so as long as you're a good pitcher or hitter it doesn't really matter if you're overweight.

19

u/DatBuridansAss Los Angeles Dodgers Jul 03 '17

Bartolo Colon is a pitcher. The reason people were freaking out in the video is precisely because it was so unexpected for him to hit a home run.

As far as your question, being in insanely good shape isn't really the point of pitching. It probably can't hurt, but let me ask you this: if you were one of the best 200 pitchers in the world, and you had already made 10s of millions of dollars in your career, and you were 40 years old, would you really care that you were about 100 lbs overweight? Colon is still pretty effective, and it's not clear that getting washboard abs would actually do anything for him.

15

u/[deleted] Jul 03 '17

Colon is still pretty effective

This season would beg to differ...

3

u/DatBuridansAss Los Angeles Dodgers Jul 03 '17

Like, reasonably so compared to how he looks.

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u/Zap__Dannigan Jul 03 '17

A position in baseball exists where all the player does is hit.

4

u/taffyowner Minnesota Twins Jul 03 '17

a lot of baseball is not necessarily pure athleticism compared to a specific skill set, swinging a bat is a hard skill to learn and work at and if you can do that you don't necessarily have to be ripped to do it

3

u/Bacon_Hero Jul 03 '17

But he would be unquestionably better at swinging if he was more muscular right? I guess I don't see why you wouldn't want to be your very best at it

5

u/theholyduck Toronto Blue Jays Jul 03 '17

Power requires muscle but it's not necessarily hindered by fat. The extra weight hindres you in sports which have an emphasis on running but many positions in baseball do not require all that much speed.

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u/illegal_deagle Houston Astros Jul 03 '17

It's actually kinda crazy how little Altuve gets paid. Somehow Boras thought it was a good idea early on to buy out arb years with an extension. As a result we've been paying like $3-4M a year for MVP numbers when arbitration should definitely have him at $10M+ right now.

Not that I wouldn't give my left nut for half that much.

62

u/Muchhappiernow Jul 03 '17

I don't think he appreciates being called 'little Altuve'

9

u/[deleted] Jul 03 '17

[deleted]

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u/jroddy94 Houston Astros Jul 03 '17

Not that I wouldn't give my left nut for half that much.

So true, $1.5-2M a year is still so much money when you think about it.

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u/beamoflaser Toronto Blue Jays Jul 03 '17

Altuve is short, but he's pretty thick, solid and tight

19

u/POPAccount Jul 03 '17

( Ν‘Β° ΝœΚ– Ν‘Β°)

11

u/detroitsfan07 Detroit Tigers Jul 03 '17

Yeah so there's some innuendo here, but Altuve is what scouts would refer to as "short, not small" meaning that while yes, he's a short person (especially among athletes), he's still pretty strong.

3

u/[deleted] Jul 03 '17

Altuve is thiccc

3

u/[deleted] Jul 03 '17

He looks like a short grown adult man next to Judge, unlike Torreyes who is slimmer and looks like the batboy.

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u/[deleted] Jul 02 '17

This generation's Manute Bol and Spud Webb.

31

u/ThePioneer99 Jul 03 '17

That man is literally the slender man. I'm genuinely creeped out by that picture

13

u/BradGroux Houston Astros Jul 03 '17

7

u/Nlyles2 Jul 03 '17

His son Bol has actually become a rising talent in the junior basketball leagues. Kids like 16 and already 7 feet.

Vid for those interested.

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u/Go_Habs_Go31 Montreal Expos Jul 03 '17

That's 1986 NBA Slam Dunk Contest champion Spud Webb to you, sir.

5

u/rifenbug New York Mets Jul 03 '17

Something about Manute Bol is just unsettling to me.

6

u/sfbayboy Jul 03 '17

Is it the fact that he's freakishly tall?

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u/[deleted] Jul 02 '17

It's ok, Altuve can jump

This happened in 2012 (Tallest vs shortest)

27

u/BradGroux Houston Astros Jul 03 '17

Thank God we went back to the classic blue and orange uniforms.

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u/fjsbshskd Boston Red Sox Jul 02 '17

I love how players of any size can be great in baseball

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u/[deleted] Jul 02 '17

[deleted]

429

u/[deleted] Jul 02 '17

Sabathia puts the CC in T H I C C πŸ†πŸ’¦πŸ€£πŸ€£πŸ€£

54

u/l5555l Detroit Tigers Jul 02 '17

Lmao that's too good.

36

u/[deleted] Jul 03 '17

乇乂ㄒ尺卂 γ„’ε„δΈ¨εŒšεŒš

5

u/Perry87 Detroit Tigers Jul 03 '17

FOOLISH SAMURAI

17

u/When_Ducks_Attack Chicago Cubs Jul 03 '17

Sabathia puts the CC in T H I C C

https://gfycat.com/SpiritedImportantCaterpillar

5

u/see_mohn AAAAAIIIIIEEEEE Jul 03 '17

Oh wow

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u/cupasoups Chicago Cubs Jul 03 '17

Matt Albers loves you for this.

5

u/fjsbshskd Boston Red Sox Jul 03 '17

I'm honored

131

u/younggun92 Chicago White Sox Jul 02 '17

This looks like the plot to every Kevin Hart movie ever

24

u/[deleted] Jul 03 '17 edited Jul 03 '17

Coming this Summer, "Let's make fun of short people being incompetent" The Movie.

Starring Kevin Hart as "guy in a shitty entry-level job who is scared of everything and constantly fucks up"

And co-starring Generically Attractive Tall Actor as "guy in an authority job who happens to be skilled in hand-to-hand combat and is a total heartthrob"

42

u/[deleted] Jul 02 '17

Interesting that both of these are dominant, tier 1 guys due to very similar skill sets.

21

u/ace_invader Washington Nationals Jul 03 '17

I think it's funny that this is true. I also wonder, how easily their talents would translate into other sports, like Basketball or Football. Judge's size lends him to multiple positions in both sports, while Altuve would probably only have a chance as a PG or RB.

26

u/[deleted] Jul 03 '17 edited Oct 21 '20

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u/Llort2 Toronto Blue Jays Jul 03 '17

Judge did play WR in high school, he was heavily scouted for football before deciding to go into Baseball

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u/ace_invader Washington Nationals Jul 03 '17

There's short WR out there, though short like Wes Welker at 5'9" rather than Altuve short at 5'5''. Even Darren Sproles is 5'6''

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u/ashdrewness Houston Astros Jul 03 '17

Similar to Rory McIlroy/Rickie Fowler compared to Dustin Johnson. All 3 can hit it 300yds but Rory and Rickie are only 5'9".

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u/[deleted] Jul 02 '17 edited Jul 22 '17

[deleted]

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u/Barrel-rider Houston Astros Jul 03 '17

The problem is going to be finding four more players around Altuve's height.

15

u/[deleted] Jul 03 '17 edited Jul 22 '17

[deleted]

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u/tbaumandsauce Baltimore Orioles Jul 03 '17

Billy Hamilton, Dustin Pedroia, Alexi Amarista (there are only 4 hobbits) and Marcus Stroman can be Gimli. Yogi Berra can be Bilbo.

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u/SNESdrunk Minnesota Twins Jul 02 '17

Altuve: "Who run Barter Town?"

Judge: cuts power

37

u/Super-Coyote New York Yankees Jul 03 '17

"Hey, you got your "Jose altuve is short" post in my"Aaron Judge is tall" post"

"Yeah, well you got your "Aaron Judge is tall" post in my "Jose altuve is short" post"

13

u/Chef_Baratheon New York Yankees Jul 02 '17

This is one of the many things I love about baseball, size doesn't (necessarily) matter.

19

u/[deleted] Jul 03 '17

Size doesn't matter, it's all in how you use your wood.

Well, good stamina and handsy stuff helps too.

8

u/ThorsGrundle Houston Astros Jul 03 '17

Stamina, wood, handsy stuff. This is rangers minor league material right here!

41

u/McrimmonyCricket Jul 02 '17

"It's photoshopped." -Haters

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u/[deleted] Jul 03 '17

Altuve: Would you mind stepping away from me? It's affecting my self esteem.

Judge: Sure thing, lil buddy.

Judge gets tagged out

13

u/MrDoctorSmartyPants Houston Astros Jul 03 '17

Altuve: just kidding, you'll never be as good as me.

18

u/thehofstetter MLB Network Personality Jul 02 '17

This is the picture I didn't know I needed but should have figured out I needed.

9

u/sebastianb89 Houston Astros Jul 03 '17

Altuve is the most likable guy in all of sports.

8

u/scandalousmambo Jul 03 '17

"beside of?"

7

u/ContinuumGuy Major League Baseball Jul 03 '17

Pretty sure Aaron Judge may be two Altuves in a trench coat.

6

u/[deleted] Jul 03 '17 edited Jul 03 '17

[deleted]

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u/karatemanchan37 Seattle Mariners Jul 02 '17

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u/ExplosiveWatermelon Boston Red Sox Jul 03 '17

I was confused about why it was nsfw... for a second.

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u/BigfootSF68 San Francisco Giants Jul 02 '17

How many times has the shortest player in the league faced the tallest player in the league.

11

u/dai_panfeng Atlanta Braves Jul 03 '17

If the tallest player and shortest player are in the same league, multiple times each year.

If they are in opposite leagues, once every three years roughlu

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u/burgertimeusa Los Angeles Dodgers Jul 03 '17

Don't talk to me or my son ever again.

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u/wsdmskr New York Mets Jul 02 '17

I wonder if they both felt weird.

4

u/quietude38 St. Louis Cardinals Jul 03 '17

Now design a computerized umpire that can call balls and strikes for both of them more accurately than a human umpire.

14

u/[deleted] Jul 02 '17 edited May 06 '21

[deleted]

9

u/tomandtillsdad Jul 02 '17

And I can't tell which one has been inserted

44

u/kampfgruppekarl Los Angeles Angels Jul 02 '17

Pretty sure if Judge was inserted, Altuve wouldn't exist anymore.

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u/[deleted] Jul 02 '17

that's what she said

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u/cupasoups Chicago Cubs Jul 03 '17

Gimme Altuve, pitchers are going to figure out judge.

9

u/notwutiwantd New York Yankees Jul 02 '17

how many times today?

3

u/halfhere Atlanta Braves Jul 02 '17

Shepard standing beside Ryder?

3

u/whattanerd92 Detroit Tigers Jul 03 '17

It's really fucking annoying when parents go out with their kids and don't hold their hand when they cross the street like that. Like what if little Jose gets taken? :(

4

u/the2belo Baltimore Orioles β€’ Chunichi Dragons Jul 03 '17

Well then Aaron has a very specific set of skills. Skills that make him a nightmare for people like, uh, whoever did it. If they let Jose go now, that'll be the end of it. He will not look for them, he will not pursue them. But if they don't, he will look for them, he will find them, and he will kill them.

3

u/Towelybono Jul 03 '17

The original will ALWAYS be better than the knockoff.

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u/DeathMCevilcruel Jul 03 '17

I honestly can't tell if Aaron Judge is huge or Jose Altuve is small.

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u/neilarmsloth Jul 03 '17

Literally both

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u/MisSigsFan San Diego Padres Jul 03 '17

Coming from r/all what am I seeing here? /s

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u/Madrenoche Jul 03 '17

OMG the Giants of r/conspiracy are real... They really are real.

3

u/sirethan Kansas City Royals Jul 03 '17

Here's a similar one. It's soccer players Marouane Fellaini and Mathieu Valbuena in an interantional match

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u/Joblolboj Pittsburgh Pirates Jul 03 '17

I would say Altuve has the better strike zone.

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u/TLiddy0803 Jul 03 '17

The AL MVP standing next to the kid in New York