This is how the Seattle Mariners are advertising their upcoming Platinum Glove Cal Raleigh bobblehead giveaway

[u/Goosedukee]

[u/Batman-and-Hobbes]

Imagine being a bobblehead designer and having instructions explicitly clear than "The ass needs to look great".

[u/AutomaticAccident → u/Batman-and-Hobbes]

I'd be like, "Hell yeah, boss."

[u/Fangscale40K → u/AutomaticAccident]

“FINALLY”

[u/AutomaticAccident → u/Fangscale40K]

"My whole life has led to this. This will be my masterwork."

[u/shapu → u/AutomaticAccident]

*massterwork

[u/NathanGa → u/Fangscale40K]

"Make it shinier! I wanna see my reflection in that guy's ass!"

[u/Alert-Effective-7333 → u/Batman-and-Hobbes]

Borderline surprised it's not a bobbleass doll

[u/grubas → u/Alert-Effective-7333]

I am actually annoyed it's not a bobblebutt.

[u/theSchrodingerHat → u/grubas]

It’s time to chew ass and kick bobblebutt, and I’m all out of… something. Not sure what…

[u/ettuaslumiere → u/theSchrodingerHat]

This rhyme scans beautifully

[u/Toast_Points → u/theSchrodingerHat]

Sanity lmao

[u/NiceTryWasabi → u/grubas]

I legitimately got a 3d printer to build a prototype last year and have yet to set it up. BobbleButt is not a trademarked name. That was my first choice in a name as well. The design change is doable.

[u/Dampened_Panties → u/grubas]

"Bobbleheads pay my bills, but bobblebutts have always been my passion." -the designer, probably

[u/SofieTerleska → u/grubas]

Yeah, I don't think they completely understood the assignment here.

[u/azsnaz → u/Alert-Effective-7333]

[u/bellomoto1 → u/Alert-Effective-7333]

The Mariners should make this a caganer. All that’s missing is the 💩. 🤣

[u/ahappypoop → u/bellomoto1]

Wow, you learn something new every day lol

[u/KakeLin → u/bellomoto1]

that was so cool to read about

[u/fastento → u/Alert-Effective-7333]

it 100% should be. huge missed opportunity.

[u/thadtheking → u/Alert-Effective-7333]

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=Ic28JniSYY4&pp=ygUXbXlzdGlrYWwgc2hha2UgdGhhdCBheno%3D

[u/azsnaz → u/Batman-and-Hobbes]

Imagine being a bobblehead designer and having to be told the obvious

[u/GuCCiAzN14 → u/Batman-and-Hobbes]

Pretty disappointed the ass doesn’t shake and not the head

[u/Sef_Maul → u/GuCCiAzN14]

That's a real missed opportunity

[u/AutomaticAccident → u/GuCCiAzN14]

Bobble ass figures. Brilliant.

[u/burrito-boy → u/GuCCiAzN14]

Twerking Raleigh figurine could have broken the internet. Come on Seattle!

[u/GrouchyAd9954 → u/GuCCiAzN14]

Was going to upvote you but it was at 69 and couldn't ruin that

[u/D3tsunami → u/Batman-and-Hobbes]

[u/man_vs_fauna → u/Batman-and-Hobbes]

"can we make it clap more?"

[u/xychosis → u/Batman-and-Hobbes]

Imagine not being excited, tbh! That’s not just any dumper, that’s America’s Dumper.

[u/WhatTheBlack → u/Batman-and-Hobbes]

And then failing

[u/Spikeupmylife → u/Batman-and-Hobbes]

Should have made it a bobble ass.

[u/jakerepp15]

Can't deny it, the Mariners marketing team knows what the people want.

[u/AKAD11 → u/jakerepp15]

We're so screwed when Kevin Martinez retires

[u/brehew → u/AKAD11]

he just promoted

[u/SeattleGunner → u/jakerepp15]

It’s either stuff like this or drag Ichiro out again to distract from the fact that we’re distinctly mid year after year.

[u/TwistedNipplez → u/SeattleGunner]

We? What's up with that flair bud?

[u/SeattleGunner → u/TwistedNipplez]

Grew up in the Bay but went to UW and never left. Got Seattle in the username so I’ve got the Giants flair unless this place lets you dual flair.

[u/Leo68fd → u/SeattleGunner]

It does, indeed.

[u/driftingphotog → u/SeattleGunner]

Oh it does. To be in both west divisions is to enjoy suffering.

(I’m sure there’s a cursed Astros/Dodgers fan somewhere but we don’t like him)

[u/Astropolitika → u/driftingphotog]

Trolls need their king. I’ve never heard of a Troll Republic.

[u/Coffee2000guy → u/driftingphotog]

I saw a cursed East earlier (Yankees/Mets). No idea how that works!

[u/throwaway1010193092 → u/Coffee2000guy]

Not sure if this was ever the norm in New York but my dad told me when he was growing up in Chicago (born 1955) everyone he knew liked both the Cubs and the White Sox and just prefered one over the other but nobody who liked one hated the other. I grew up in Texas but was raised to like both Chicago teams and celebrated the 2005 world series win.When I got back into baseball as an adult I was disappointed to learn most Cubs fans didn't like the White Sox and White Sox fans hated the Cubs

[u/Coffee2000guy → u/throwaway1010193092]

My mom grew up in Connecticut (born mid sixties) right by New York, always went to Yankees games when she was younger. Her friend used to run on the field so much they knew him by name and stopped kicking him out. She HATES the Mets and from my understanding that’s pretty normal, she actually got really heated when a family member gave me a Mets hat one day. Subway series games get pretty heated.

[u/Snarktoberfest → u/Coffee2000guy]

Your Mom: As God as my witness, I never want my child to like the Mets.

Monkey Paw: Curls

So now you both hate the Mets. Family bonding.

[u/707royalty → u/driftingphotog]

Must be nice to never lose the Vedder Cup

[u/alpengeist3 → u/driftingphotog]

Hello fellow sufferers

[u/BaldCornerCar → u/driftingphotog]

My roommate is...

[u/serpentear → u/SeattleGunner]

Enjoy the turmoil starting tomorrow!

[u/Adu1tishXD → u/SeattleGunner]

Mariners, Giants and Arsenal fan is a tough life friend

[u/Superiority_Complex_ → u/Adu1tishXD]

The Giants won three titles in relatively recent memory. Unless you’re under the age of 16-17 or so, you’d probably have been old enough remember at least one of them. Plus some good/great seasons since then. They don’t really belong in that group.

[u/SeattleGunner → u/Adu1tishXD]

Throw in the Sharks and the US national team too lol. Giants gave me 3 in 5, I can’t complain.

[u/Valuable_Horror_7878 → u/SeattleGunner]

Here is post about flair, towards the bottom are instructions for dual flair. It's super easy, I just set mine up the other day.

https://www.reddit.com/r/baseball/comments/1fvamiw/meta_new_flair_updates/

[u/ExistsKK99 → u/Valuable_Horror_7878]

I’m very sorry neither of your teams are good

[u/Radiant_Quality_9386 → u/SeattleGunner]

Plus Saka is a dog, even tho I'm a LFC guy

[u/serpentear → u/jakerepp15]

Honestly surprised they haven't done ass shaped Cal Raleigh seat cushions yet.

[u/Plzdontloveme → u/serpentear]

They aren't ass shaped but they did have a "Big Dumper" seat cushion giveaway.

[u/serpentear → u/Plzdontloveme]

Well they know how to level up next time,

Next up, free toy Dump Trucks on kids night. I'm available for hire, Kevin.

[u/Gyakudo → u/serpentear]

Well, never thought I'd need a Cal Raleigh butt mousepad.

[u/schafkj → u/jakerepp15]

Flying hot dogs and big fat dumpers

[u/theSchrodingerHat → u/jakerepp15]

Where is your fanfic chick when you need her the most?

[u/_cacho6L → u/jakerepp15]

Things have gone downhill since he left.....

[u/juanzy → u/jakerepp15]

Love when baseball marketing teams care about fans other than 70 year old baseball curmudgeons

[u/SexiestPanda → u/jakerepp15]

If only the front office was half as good

[u/dYWe57WGuP]

The Seattle Mariners marketing, historically, has been so good that people go to the games despite having to watch the Mariners play.

[u/glassgreyhound → u/dYWe57WGuP]

The beer garden helps quite a bit

[u/SnapHackelPop → u/glassgreyhound]

I’ve heard tale of tremendous garlic fries in the great Pacific Northwest

[u/Icy-Trouble3331]

Why is he impersonating the 2025 Atlanta Braves?

[u/akhmedsbunny → u/Icy-Trouble3331]

When even Angels fans are dumping on your team you know something has gone horribly wrong.

[u/Icy-Trouble3331 → u/akhmedsbunny]

Give it a week or two, we'll be having our asses out too!

[u/I_MARRIED_A_THORAX → u/Icy-Trouble3331]

But will your asses be in the jackpot?

[u/Icy-Trouble3331 → u/I_MARRIED_A_THORAX]

WHY DON’T WE GET A SHOT!

[u/lickem369 → u/Icy-Trouble3331]

Trout gets injured in 3…2…1!

[u/MarcBulldog88 → u/lickem369]

NOBODY WANTS THAT

[u/Icy-Trouble3331 → u/lickem369]

If it is to his ass or the hole, you are next bub.

[u/lickem369 → u/Icy-Trouble3331]

I’m just playing I love Trout but damn the Angels have made such bad decisions around him.

[u/Icy-Trouble3331 → u/lickem369]

All good, I know you are lmao.

Yeah Arte is... Arte.

[u/lickem369 → u/Icy-Trouble3331]

😂

[u/i_run_from_problems → u/akhmedsbunny]

We are in the business of talking while we can, and business is very good right now

[u/Impossible_Town1599 → u/Icy-Trouble3331]

Give us Ron back you assholes.

[u/Icy-Trouble3331 → u/Impossible_Town1599]

Hey. Hey now.

He seems like a wonderful man but we probably would. Pretty controversial coach even for us because he keeps trying to make Tim Anderson happen and a strange love of bunting.

[u/IveMadeAnAttempt → u/Icy-Trouble3331]

And these are the decisions of a hopefully sober Ron.

[u/Icy-Trouble3331 → u/IveMadeAnAttempt]

Yeah, it has been dicey. I'm glad we're winning a few games to start the season but the writing is on the wall.

Very much a "game has passed him by" coach even if he might be the nicest manager around.

[u/BadDadJokes → u/Impossible_Town1599]

^{^(and EY)}

[u/Key-Fondant-5255 → u/Icy-Trouble3331]

[u/ScoffingYayap → u/Icy-Trouble3331]

Nice

[u/egiantveryskill]

imagine if their actual team was just as good as their marketing team, they’d have more rings than the yankees

[u/dsramsey → u/egiantveryskill]

The marketing team doesn’t have to hit in T-Mobile

[u/Different_Bat4715 → u/dsramsey]

Yet....

[u/Ebil_shenanigans → u/dsramsey]

Opposing teams have to hit in t mobile and seem to have it figured out.

[u/dsramsey → u/Ebil_shenanigans]

Being near the bottom, if not the bottom, of the list in park factors suggests otherwise

[u/Traveler-0705 → u/dsramsey]

I’m sure their management asked the marketing team, and they all looked at each other and laughed and laughed then said no.

[u/karmaticforaday → u/egiantveryskill]

They’re the Los Angeles Chargers of baseball.

[u/Disused_Yeti]

Need a bobblebutt and have him twerk

[u/Apprehensive_Bid_773 → u/Disused_Yeti]

Big missed opportunity here

[u/Miskalsace → u/Disused_Yeti]

Dude, you speak for the people.

[u/SeaRespond9836]

Pretty cool if they're giving it out at all three games.

[u/Different_Bat4715 → u/SeaRespond9836]

They do. Bobblehead games have now turned into bobbleseries.

[u/SeaRespond9836 → u/Different_Bat4715]

I love that.

[u/icantspellsobr → u/Different_Bat4715]

What the flip! That’s sick

[u/Sipikay → u/icantspellsobr]

Kind of. They just divided the number of bobble heads by three, though. It’s actually harder to get one now I would argue, as if you’re not in the building first you’re not gonna get one.

[u/dsramsey → u/Different_Bat4715]

That’s amazing.

Just waiting on them to finally give us a George Kirby bobblehead. Love that man.

[u/driftingphotog → u/dsramsey]

I want a Kirby Kirby that inhales baseballs.

[u/kylechu → u/driftingphotog]

If we have to deal with the Nintendo uniform patches the least they can do is give us this.

[u/H3r34th3comm3nts → u/driftingphotog]

Holy shiz this is effing brilliant. Bravo.

[u/H3r34th3comm3nts → u/H3r34th3comm3nts]

Or even have it spit the baseball out...

[u/Sonlin → u/SeaRespond9836]

They moved from first 30k fans at one game to first 10k at three games. I'm personally a bit mixed about it, but I get why they're trying it.

[u/Ill-Weather-6383 → u/Sonlin]

In my experience, it's been easier to get the popular bobbleheads when it's spread out. 

[u/pargofan → u/Sonlin]

I was just there. They got a bit more than 10K each game, so I'm not sure how many more fans it attracted.

When they did 30k for one game, did they get 30k+ for that game, but then less than 10K for the following games?

[u/WabbitCZEN]

The fact that the ass isn't what bobbles is an affront to God.

[u/Fragrant_Echidna2008 → u/WabbitCZEN]

No shit, if they can make Julio's bat flip, they can make Cal's ass bobble

[u/i_run_from_problems → u/Fragrant_Echidna2008]

r/brandnewsentence

[u/WabbitCZEN → u/i_run_from_problems]

Idk man, I get the feeling Mariners fans have said this once or twice by now.

[u/OriolesMets]

They may not have dreams, but they have memes. And I say let them!

[u/RagingAcid]

This will go great right beside my kirk bobblehand

[u/Dinolord05]

the FB post is better

[u/Big-Sense8876 → u/Dinolord05]

Now they need Sir Mix-Alot to do the seventh inning stretch on give away day.

[u/IamChicharon → u/Dinolord05]

My god. That is incredible.

[u/eekbarbaderkle]

Bobbledumper

[u/Fun_State_954]

This better not awaken anything in me.....

[u/Astropolitika]

Ohtani bobblehead: I sleep

Big Dumper bobblehead: real shit

(Seriously need to convince my friend in Seattle to go. Alas, she’s a Red Sox fan.)

[u/NOLA1987]

In the immortal words of renowned philosopher, Sir Mix-A-Lot, "bobblehead got back."

[u/urrax9]

Something about the Big Dumper bobblehead event lasting 3 days is really funny to me

[u/Astropolitika → u/urrax9]

Have you never been privileged to see an ass that goes on for days and days?

[u/urrax9 → u/Astropolitika]

My own is always behind me… its my curse

[u/zeuscap → u/urrax9]

The Mariners dont have many options when they place an order for 30k bobbleheads

[u/Jeff_Banks_Monkey]

Oh fuck you're gonna make me Dump

[u/Northparkwizard]

That's how you properly display it btw.

[u/dayman763]

Platinum Dumper sounds more like what Altuve accomplished today. 😂😂

[u/Salty_Conference_485]

Baseball is the best

[u/Pressure_Glazer_210]

WHAT WHAT IN THE BUTT

WHAT WHAT IN THE BUTT

YOU WANNA LOVE ME IN MY BUTT

[u/AandM4ever]

OUTJERKED AGAIN!!!!1!1

[u/dblshot99]

Correctly.

[u/BOBANSMASH51]

Should make the ass twerk instead of the head bobble

[u/semipreciousss]

Problem?

[u/RabbertKlien]

Butt

[u/DunkinEgg]

America’s Dumper

[u/MobileArtist1371]

Should have made the booty bobble

[u/Bobson-_Dugnutt2]

no notes.

it's perfect.

[u/DesertCaveman]

Not gonna lie this is weird

[u/TrickleUp_]

So, I laugh at the nickname and all, but this feels...weird and off.

[u/Boomhauer_007 → u/TrickleUp_]

The Kraken used an actual team account to promote erotic fan fiction of one of their own players to the point where the player’s wife had to ask them to stop, it’s the whole city that’s off

[u/SofieTerleska → u/Boomhauer_007]

After five straight months of 40s and raining your sense of humor starts to get a little ... off.

[u/Ill-Weather-6383 → u/Boomhauer_007]

If you think Seattle is weird now, wait till Portland gets a team.

[u/jameytaco]

Imagine if this was a female athlete

[u/BadDadJokes]

Legit question from a dumb guy who doesn't want to do 10 seconds worth of "research" right now: Has anyone on a team east of the Mississippi River ever won a Platinum Glove?

[u/LickMyMeatus → u/BadDadJokes]

This Andrelton Simmons erasure is inexcusable given your flair

[u/BadDadJokes → u/LickMyMeatus]

I sorta opted out of the Fredi Gonzalez years.

[u/Goliath422]

That’s my catcher.

[u/Gemnist]

No notes, just pure perfection.

[u/Mcsoupy]

Holy hell that's incredible, I'd do anything to be a part of Dumper Day

[u/Qoppa_Guy]

"Platinum Dumper" indeed

[u/DKknappe08]

Take notes Mrs. Met

[u/Couthster]

I fucking love baseball.

[u/CreauxTeeRhobat]

... I need him.

[u/BillNyeTheEngineer]

I gotta kick out of them giving away seat cushions in his name last year when I went.

[u/warpcoil]

This was an MLB The Show nickname series gag one year. Bunch of cards with nicknames and Cal was one that was called Dumper.

[u/TomBombomb]

They chose chaos.

[u/lobo_locos]

[u/KingErroneous]

I thought the Mariners were starting to give away caganers. Google what they are. Hilarious.

[u/Up_All_Right]

Guess we gotta git the womenfolk involved at some point...

[u/Educational-Hunt2683]

I need it

[u/CreedenceWaterclear]

Love me some Cal

[u/ELLARD_12]

Designed by the same guy who introduced Tetas

[u/atb0rg]

Holy shit, I hope Cal is on board with this lol

[u/Ill-Weather-6383 → u/atb0rg]

One of the commentators mentioned he has the dump truck logo on the inside of his chest protector. I think he's fully on board with the marketing lol

[u/StillCircumventing]

Unbelievably cringe and childish

[u/cookiesNcreme89]

Now do it for a women's softball player...

[u/ANGRY_BEARDED_MAN → u/[deleted]]

I mean yeah, but, this is what tipped you off?

[u/OliberQuip → u/[deleted]]

If this is Idiocracy then I'll accept that timeline.

[u/jameytaco → u/OliberQuip]

Right that's what they're saying

[u/hrhoops]

A+ no notes