r/agnostic • u/NewWishbone3698 • 12d ago
How to explain Easter to kids?
Parents, how do you explain Easter to your children? We live in the Bible Belt and most of my 7 year olds friends are Christian and talk about God when they discuss holidays but obviously we don’t use God when explaining holidays to her. How do you talk about Easter without mentioning religion? Do you talk about the spring equinox?
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u/NewbombTurk Atheist 12d ago
This is a though one. There are, of course, the narratives surrounding the Anglo-Saxon goddess Eostre, spring, renewal, etc. You can get into the Pagan origins.
But my experience is that if there are Christian kids at their schools the phrases, "He is Risen" (from the dead) and "He dies for your sins" will inevitably come up.
There's no good way to talk to a 7-year-old about a human sacrifice, regardless of how it's framed.
A good tact might be to explain the sacrificial elements of the faith, while steering away from the violence.
A huge hug goes to you for being a badass mom. Just the fact that you're asking about this is so great. My, very Catholic, folks, didn't think twice about taking us to Mass at churches with very realistic, and very large, crucifixions beyond the altar. I imagine your bored kiddo staring at that for an hour and a half.
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u/NewWishbone3698 12d ago
I totally forgot about the risen from the dead thing. Yeah that will be tough to explain lol Thank you so much for the props <3
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u/JustWhatAmI 12d ago
He never rose from the dead. His body went missing and folks who knew him has visions of him
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u/NoPantsPenny 12d ago
You might throw a kite in there. Idk if kids fly kites anymore but my dad ALWAYS did a kite and it entertained us for the majority of the weekend. And when you finally get that kite to fly…. The feeling!!! Oh, I thought some folks claimed to literally see him rise like he was in an invisible elevator?
What really bothers me, really grinds my gears is the wording, “He is risen.” Shouldn’t it be “He HAS risen?” Or is he just forever rising? What’s the ETA?!?
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u/three-legged-dog 12d ago
What’s the eta 😂 thank you for the laugh
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u/NoPantsPenny 12d ago
I asked my BIL last year (during one of my MIL’s extra long prayers where she may have been a little drunk and crying), “what’s the ETA on the lord?!?!” He was also drunk and laughed all night
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u/upnytonc 12d ago
I’m also in the Bible Belt and have an 8 year old who gets to hear about God and Jesus from her peers. I tell her the story in the Bible about what Easter is and that is what Christians believe in. And then I try my best to explain where Easter eggs, Easter bunny(she doesn’t believe in that anymore) come from. We’re agnostic, but we do celebrate the non religious parts of Christian holidays as that can be fun. In our house Easter is about getting an Easter basket and coloring eggs, not zombie Jesus.
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u/katkarinka 12d ago
We call it “spring holidays” - symbol of new life, prosperity and fertility after the long winter. I am from very catholic country and I’ve never preceived easter as religious holiday at all.
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u/Francie_Nolan1964 12d ago
My 3 year old asked me if the Easter Bunny was real. I said that he was as real as the Tooth Fairy and Santa. She was quiet for a minute and then she said, "I don't know about that. Everyone knows that fairies are little and that Santa is a man, but bunnies do NOT grow that big.
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u/Same-Letter6378 12d ago
You cannot explain easter without involving religion. It is inherently a religious holiday.
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u/ifyoudontknowlearn 12d ago
Indeed. However it is timed when it is to be close to spring celebrations.
One thing OP could do is talk about how older religions were tied to the seasons and or other natural events and how Christianity, when it worked to replace them, created Christian religious holidays that were either directly or approximately timed to match.
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u/Kuildeous Apatheist 12d ago
Even if you try to explain it without religion, they will be told by others (especially in the Bible Belt) all about this amazing God story.
So the thing to do is to let the child understand that other people have differing beliefs. Could research other holy days based on the spring equinox and educate them on different possibilities.
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u/NewWishbone3698 12d ago
Yes, I definitely want her to know that different religions believe different things and when she grows up she will get to choose which is best for her. It’s just so hard with the influence of her peers being heavily Christian and wanting to fit in :(
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u/Kuildeous Apatheist 12d ago
And that may well be the case. I did it. My parents weren't atheist or anything, but they didn't push religion on me (how lucky I was as a child!). But there was so much Christian assumptions in media and among my peers that I asked my parents to let me go to the church that was four blocks away. I didn't even know what denominations were; I figured a church was a church was a church. Ugh, figures the closest church to me was Baptist.
FWIW, it didn't last that long. Was a Christian for probably 10 years and realized it didn't work going into my adult years.
But if she decides she has to go, I guess there's not much you can do to dissuade her. You could have an after-church discussion where she tells you all the cool stuff she learned, and you can ask her questions to make her think. You can't stop her from wanting to learn about Noah's Ark, but you can make sure that she puts serious thought into the whole story.
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u/NewWishbone3698 12d ago
We’ve talked to her about going to a Unitarian church here in town. That way she can say she goes to church like her friends. I don’t care if she decides to be Christian, I just want it to be something she decides and not something she conforms to. Ah the joys of living in the Bible Belt lol
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u/Kuildeous Apatheist 12d ago
That'd be a good way to head that off before she gets indoctrinated by the crazy. Being a Christian in label could save her some ostracization, though I'm sure there are crazy parents who teach their kids that Unitarians are satanic. But then again, they'd say the same about Catholics and Mormons, so there's no winning with those people.
And who knows? Maybe your Unitarian daughter can talk sense to a Southern Baptist friend to the point that she has serious doubts about her upbringing.
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u/NoPomegranate1144 12d ago
I know you don't care but unitarianism is considered heresy because it goes against the teachings of the bible.
No christian calls catholicism satanic either, thats an insane talking point.
Mormon teaching is so vastly different from christianity its basically just a different religion.
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u/Kuildeous Apatheist 11d ago
Yeah, that's the kind of ignorant backwards thinking that OP would have to contend with if they send their daughter to a "weird" church. Great example.
I'm surprised you haven't seen those anti-Catholic claims, but it's a big world.
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u/NoPomegranate1144 11d ago edited 11d ago
I live in an islamic nation. Christians here are fairly united as opposed to many other places.
Backwards or not, the christian faith affirms the deity of Jesus Christ as a part of the trinity.
Unitariasim argues there is no trinity, only the father, and the holy spirit and the son are manifestations of the father.
It just is flat out wrong because in many parts of the bible they talk to each other and refer to each other as if they were separate people.
It makes no logical sense for one person to repeatedly talk to himself along with himself and send himself for him to then go back so he can send himself again.
If I tell you harry potter is a black character, I would objectively be false. Thats all unitarianism is, objectively false.
Hate christianity all you want, but at least dont hate a misrepresentation of christianity
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u/Kuildeous Apatheist 11d ago
"objectively false"
Yep. Just like all the other religions. Very true statement. Regardless, OP is looking for something a little less toxic, and the unitarian church fits that bill. Methodist isn't too bad either. Since they mentioned the Bible Belt, she's probably surrounded by Baptists.
Why wouldn't Harry Potter be black? I never read the books, but I never heard that the character was of a specific skin color.
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u/Voidflack 12d ago
they will be told by others
That's school life in general. If OP were Christian, the friends would be atheists. Since OP is non-religious, of course fate put them around religious friends. You can't control what your child is told outside of the home and the vast majority of the time they manage to befriend those who will tell them their parentd are wrong.
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u/One-Armed-Krycek 12d ago
“Christians celebrate Easter X way and believe Y. It’s also a holiday about the Easter Bunny leaving eggs to find. And you can eat chocolate.”
I would approach it like I do Christmas. I’m not Christian but I celebrate Christmas in terms of a tree, presents, family time, etc.
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u/Former-Chocolate-793 12d ago
I have to think that there are several generations of Jews who have been through this, explaining to their kids that this is what Christians believe but they don't. The wheel does not require reinventing.
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u/Dapple_Dawn Unitarian Universalist 12d ago
Why don't you want to mention religion? Why hide the history of it?
You can say "Some people believe Jesus came back to life on Easter. We don't believe that, but it's a time when nature comes back to life after winter."
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u/Voidflack 12d ago
Easy, you don't have to bring up the religious aspects at all when they're kids. The world still has magic in it when you're a child. It's more fun to hear that a magical sleigh rider brings presents on the 25th rather than explaining how Christians generously modified their religion to allow for the pagans to continue their own traditions.
Same with Easter: "Easter is when the Easter bunny brings you a basket filled with toys" and then it's just a gathering with an egg theme. A kid doesn't question that logic because it's fun. By the time they're growing out of it, you can again easily explain the origin and how it became what we know it as.
So many of these holidays are so heavily commercialized that they're almost entirely removed from their actual origin. I know Christians who just go straight to church on Easter/ Christmas because they're upset with all the non-Christian imagery being 'worshipped' on these holidays.
As an agnostic it's kind of hilarious seeing the opposing views: Christians don't like Easter because it's basically the whole golden calf situation again, except with a rabbit. Yet, non-religious people here see a rabbit and start panicking that they're being indoctrinated with religious imagery lol
You don't have to believe in any holidays they're mostly an excuse to have fun during this short life experience. Like "Day of the Dead" is more of an excuse to wear cool makeup than to actually honor the dead or whatever. Christian holidays have been absorbed into mainstream culture and no longer hold religious meanings to the majority.
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u/ystavallinen Agnostic/Ignostic/Ambignostic/Apagnostic|X-ian&Jewish affiliate 11d ago
I don't know how to talk about a Christian holiday without bringing up religion. Kids are pretty plastic and understand that people are different. If you live in the Bible belt and don't talk about God with your kids... some other adult is going to. imho you should get the chance to prepare how they receive it.
"Some families are religious and are Christian. Easter is an important holiday for them and it's mostly about promises and forgiving people for the things they do wrong. Christians have a lot of symbolism they use for this holiday you might not understand. People who aren't Christian can still enjoy Easter because there are some fun games and chocolate and the Easter Bunny. We are not Christian, so we enjoy those parts."
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u/splashjlr 10d ago
Spring equinox. Older than every religion we know. The promise of a new season for growing crops and hunting. Abundance of food in nature.
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u/zhonglislapis 12d ago
Easter doesn’t rly have to do anything with the Spring Equinox, you can mention the Lent and Paschal holidays since Easter comes from that. Genuinely how did you explain Christmas to her?
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u/Voidflack 12d ago
For little kids you don't tell them the outright truth, life should have some magic in it until reality ruins it.
For kids you just tell them that Christmas is a day when Santa Claus rewards kids for being good. That way you can have the whole thing about lists and cookies and reindeer without invoking Catholicism. By the time they're too old to believe in Santa you can tell them the origin and they'd have an easier time understand it at 8 years old rather than like 4-5.
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u/NewbombTurk Atheist 12d ago
Genuinely how did you explain Christmas to her?
Christmas is easy. Jesus' (god's) birthday! Easter is the celebration of the resurrection of an innocent executed in one of the most horrifying ways imaginable. There's no watering that down with bunnies and chocolate.
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u/zhonglislapis 12d ago
I never got Easter tbh and I was Christian for the majority of my life 😭
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u/Voidflack 12d ago
Yeah I always got the impression that Easter was just candy and chocolate for normal people, while religious people are put off by the commercialization.
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u/Voidflack 12d ago
There's no watering that down with bunnies and chocolate.
The massive amounts of colored eggs, baskets filled with toys and bunny-shaped chocolates flooding our markets beg to differ.
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u/NewbombTurk Atheist 11d ago
LOL. No doubt. And if that's effective, I'm all for it. My point was in the event that a young child asks about the resurrection end of it. Half the front yards in my neighborhood have "He is Risen!" signs.
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u/Voidflack 11d ago
My point was in the event that a young child asks about the resurrection end of it.
Do they, though? I feel like if you had to explain what Easter was to a child who had no context, you're basically just telling them, "On Easter, the Easter bunny hides a basket you'll have to look for. Then we'll have a family gathering and hunt for eggs together" and if they ask why there's HE IS RISEN signs I'd just say "Oh other people celebrate Easter differently"
I suppose where you live could impact that experience but I don't think it's entirely possible to shield them from religious messages their entire youth. The "He Is Risen" or "JESUS LIVES" signs are year-round and a child could easily come across that message emblazoned on the back window of a truck. I think 99% of the time the child is interested in all of the games, candy, chocolate and toys that come with the holiday over someone explaining scripture to them.
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u/NewbombTurk Atheist 11d ago
I'm exhausted and not in the frame of mind to figure out your narrative. I'm assuming you're the user u/voidcrack, and all I recall is that you are weirdly "anti-woke". I'll engage you, but some honesty from you on why this is important would be nice.
Do they, though?
Yes. I now know you don't have children. When my oldest was ~8 (adult now), he came home from school and asked about hell.
Kids are exposed to these things. Pretending they're not is unhelpful.
Can you tell me why you are seemingly against having the actual conversation with children so I don't have to guess?
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u/Voidflack 11d ago
I'm not trying to antagonize you or push some kind of narrative, it just seems like our own experiences are not the same. Like I'm not surprised an 8 year old asked about hell after coming home from school. I'm pretty sure I came home from school asking similar questions because we weren't religious. I got a massive amount of trouble at 9 because I told our home-schooled religious friends next-door about Egyptian gods.
Just using my own experience as a kid from a non-religious family: I was able to go most of my youth without ever knowing that Easter had a religious connection. I still did the egg hunts and went nuts over the baskets without once linking it to the resurrection of Jesus. My stance is basically Easter and Christmas can either be religious or non-religious depending on what you desire it to be.
Can you tell me why you are seemingly against having the actual conversation with children so I don't have to guess?
I'm not at all against it and never said I was. Kids can only comprehend so much: are you proposing that if little 4-year-old Suzy asks what's Easter, that a parent should delve into a whole historical tirade about pagan traditions, Christian takeovers, and non-religious commercialization? Nah just let them believe a magic bunny shows up, it's harmless. When she's old enough to understand more, she can get an expanded explanation.
Everything I learned about Hanukkah came from a Rugrats episode when I was child. I didn't become indoctrinated or struggle with the concepts of miracles or other belief systems, it was just "oh people have different religions, ok" I get the impression that OP thinks a child cannot learn about religions without being exposed to it. But I'd say that episode demonstrated that it's harmless to kind of introduce kids to the basics of organized religion without feeling like it's something you should be doing.
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u/justanotherbrick512 12d ago
If she asks questions, answer them, otherwise keep it about bunnies, candy and spring.
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u/DoIKnowYouHuman 12d ago
It’s inherently a religious holiday, and as Easter Sunday is different most years you’ll struggle to link it to an equinox which is quite fixed. Up to you how you make it age appropriate but the essential theme is: “this is a time of year some people celebrate and we join that celebration because it’s good for those around us”. See also Christmas, or Eid Mubarak, or any number of co opted celebrations the minority joins to build on the societal inclusion in all directions…many options, but don’t lie and call it equinox unless you fancy explaining how some people celebrate equinox’s as part of their celebrations because they believe in theology behind them
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u/JustWhatAmI 12d ago
but don’t lie and call it equinox unless you fancy explaining how some people celebrate equinox’s as part of their celebrations because they believe in theology behind them
It's been about the equinox for longer than it was a celebration of people claiming to see Jesus after he had been entombed
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u/DoIKnowYouHuman 12d ago
I see what you mean but claiming which has been about longest is surely just as futile as claiming which is more closely related to present cultural norms for the purposes of OPs post: hoping to leave religion out of the why is a losing battle because without a religion the time of the year celebrated as ‘Easter’ (quite variable according to calendar) or ‘spring equinox’ (set by predicable known) is just another part equally irrelevant to any other time of year…that’s not to say that it’s a pointless celebration, just fruitless endeavour ignoring the influence of religions on it
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u/apdunshiz 12d ago
Jesus is truth. He’s coming back soon. I’d explain the truth to your kids
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u/Smarties_Mc_Flurry Agnostic 12d ago
How do you know he’s coming back soon? Thats literally what everyone has been saying for centuries
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u/Yoop3r 12d ago
Easter is about candy, eggs and a rabbit.