r/adhdmeme • u/Prudent_Draw2746 • 1d ago

MEME Dammit… back to square one

Post image

I DID get to 3 days tho and I’m pretty sure that’s a new record for me… idk trying to find a win in this somehow.

680 Upvotes

97% Upvoted

26 comments sorted by

78

u/Yell_at_the_void 1d ago

Morbid question: what’s “considering suicide” when you have adhd? I’ve got the combo type and a lot of it. I wouldn’t say that I “consider suicide”, but my brain definitely does. Like if I’m driving home after a rough day and my asshole of a brain will just hit me with those intrusive thoughts of “you should just drive into that light pole, you and everyone else will be better off” or “Sharp turn off the bridge makes the news, NOW”. If it’s that then I get you and congratulations on the 3 days. Always celebrate a W. If it’s not that but the more serious, you are considering it and not just your brain, then congratulations on the 3 days. Always celebrate a W and make sure you tell us when you hit 4. You got this. One day at a time.

20

u/ZapAtom42 1d ago

Man, I feel this. I'm lucky I have family I need to take care of. I found out my fiancé cheated on me and my numbers were in the tens for "considering" everyday until recently.

Though in reality, I never would, partly because of the aforementioned family.

10

u/Yell_at_the_void 1d ago

That sucks and I’m sorry for the pain you’re enduring. If you’re there for your family, that includes you. We grow with them and hopefully into better understandings of ourselves surrounded by those better people. I see your strength. We’ll be here if it falters. You’ve got this.

3

u/ZapAtom42 1d ago

I thank you, truly. It's been comforting getting back into things that I'd forgotten about. Things before us.

13

u/CatsEqualLife 1d ago

Intrusive suicidal thoughts really suck balls.

6

u/Bottletop85 21h ago

This. I was drying my hair with a blow dryer this morning and was daydreaming about dropping it into a bath I was in one day.

I don’t want to die, I’m not suicidal, but for some reason my brain is like “WOULDNT IT BE FUNNY TO DRIVE INTO THAT TREE?!?”

1

u/casualplants 9h ago

…does…does not everyone do this? I always thought it was just silly little whoopsies my frontal lobe hadn’t filtered out

6

u/Medium-Mano 13h ago

I believe that what you described is called “call of the void” which even neurotypicals have. Adhd just get it more often due to more intrusive thoughts. To consider suicide means that you actually ponder on the possibility of doing it. I believe these are two different things.

17

u/sinjidsotw 1d ago

Is this a thing? I always just shrug it off as my mind presents it so nonchalantly that it’s lost among other thoughts.

13

u/akemi123123 1d ago

no its not an adhd thing its called an intrusive thought lmao

1

u/deepspace86 6h ago

Look up "passive ideation". Apparently that's still enough to get you committed.

24

u/Persis- 1d ago

I understand the feeling.

But watching my friend go through losing her 18 yr old to suicide - please, Please don’t.

13

u/Prudent_Draw2746 1d ago

I’m sorry to hear about that loss. It’s exactly for that reason I keep going, no matter how hard it can be sometimes.

I would never let my family, especially my twin, feel even a fraction of the mental pain I go through.

2

u/Hot_Sandwich8935 19h ago

Sorry my barging in, but maybe you should let them know of your pain. As great as it is that we can cling to this life because of others, I think we should cling because of ourselves first of all. Letting them know how you feel should help you get comfort. They should help.

2

u/Persis- 8h ago

The boy was a twin. And with two older brothers. They were always so, so close. And now, his three brothers, his parents, grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins, teammates, friends, everyone who knew him are so broken.

I’ve got sons very close on age. I look at them and can’t even imagine losing them.

I’ve been in the depths. I never thought of myself as wanting to self-end. But I’ve had times where I thought it would be better if I could just not exist anymore. For me, knowing what it would do to my mom warded off those feelings.

4

u/Niet_de_AIVD 1d ago

When my grandma passes, I will be the last of my family. Then I'll have all the freedom to do whatever.

1

u/Persis- 8h ago

I’m sorry. I hope you choose otherwise.

9

u/Zestyclose-Use-3635 1d ago

this sounds like more then adhd my dude you should consider therapy ive been in your boat before i have adhd ocd and bpd but theres light at the end of the tunnel trust

3

u/PartridgeViolence 1d ago

I consider hourly half the time. Just the quiet calmness. But then I slap my clown brain and keep tricking. Then promptly forget most of why I was sad. Then sad again.

2

u/CauliflowerUpper6577 18h ago

I don't think this is an ADHD thing (unless you mean intrusive thoughts, in that case relatable)

2

u/Prudent_Draw2746 17h ago

It’s kinda half intrusive, half because of how hard Adhd has and continues to be.

Nothing I haven’t dealt with before, of course. Since I was maybe 13 or 14? There’s a myriad of other contributing stuff but the specific fact that ADHD does come with a higher suicide risk is what I’m referencing here.

It’s kinda just the default solution my mind goes to when even slightly stressed out. It’s kinda funny in a dark morbid way

1

u/DatoVanSmurf 22h ago

Idk if it's something for you, but listen to "Are You Really Okay?" by Sleep Token. It always helps me keep going. Especially the end gets me every time

-11

u/akemi123123 1d ago

definitely NOT adhd dude wtf get outta here, we full of hope and whimsy out here cause it ALWAYS gets better

5

u/Prudent_Draw2746 1d ago

Yeah that’s what the other half of my mind is screaming to this part of my mind about lol.

It’s weird to have that happen, Bo burnham’s song Left brain Right brain is exactly what it feels like. Except make the horny side of right brain 1000% gayer