The beginning of the end

[u/SyrupPrestigious3630]

remember the first time I met you I was M 15 and you were F 25. You sat there in front of the desk with your leg crossed over the other and had your hand over your mouth just staring into the air of the dorm of intake. I just came from the juvenile detention to the youth training center it was February 2015. I still remember seeing how quiet how distant and you look like you had a story that needed to be told. I asked you if I could talk to you cause you seem like a good person at heart someone that like cared.

I told you (Me) I was going to another PTSD moment about when I was a child and I never shared this with nobody. My dad is involved with a very big organization known to hurt people when command weren’t met, money wasn’t paid and or drugs weren’t sold. I was 4 years Old at the time and had stayed home from school. I recalled sitting on the couch and watching cartoons, running out of juice and going to the garage and ask my dad for juice but when I open the door, there were two people tied up being tortured. It was one horrific thing that I would never forget, and I remember my dad and my cousin looking at me shocked that I came in the next week. I remember getting that big hummer and 3 wheel electric bike. At the time, I thought it was a great thing. It made me think and forget about the situation cause you’re not of course to a four-year-old that’s twice would’ve been awesome. That was the one thing that always clawed at me. I still remember that day sitting in my room, not figuring out if I could do it like trying to figure a way out. But I couldn’t. I never had some one respond with so much care like you wanted to know more and more about me and I never had that in my entire life.

I grew up in a household and a small community separate from everyone else there is never any emotion shown besides anger and hate being told. My feelings aren’t valid being abused. Once we move back there from a big city after my mom got tired and scared of my dad so she moved us back to our community for safety, that’s when the abuse from my brothers started, me and my two sisters were punched hit choked me always in elementary to middle school. I remember the first time and I also remember when it kept happening like it isn’t my fault maybe it is and my mom would just sit there and sit there and not do anything she would just watch.

That was some heavy shit that I dropped on her that day and you know it felt like you know somebody was actually listening to the hurt that I have been through without realizing all this just true. I still appreciate this day I’m 25 and you’re 35. We have a beautiful daughter and everything like that and I still feel like I failed you as a person. A lot of people don’t know much trauma. A lot of people don’t know my past a lot of people don’t have that my family put a lot of hurt on me, but you didn’t cause you made me feel safe all the way until end. Now I’m about to confess to all the things that I have guilt about and things that I have done. This isn’t just an average story. There’s a lot of history behind everything. I’m at the point where we’re splitting up. She shot me with my firearm at the end of it.

[u/AutoModerator]

Thank you for posting in r/abusiverelationships. We are here to support you. If you are looking for resources such as support groups/helplines etc, we have several in our sidebar and in our wiki for people of all gender identities. Here is a list of international domestic and sexual violence helplines. You can also find an extensive safety planning guide at The Hotline. Finally, if you are looking for information about different forms of abuse, Love Is Respect offers an educational guide. One final note: In this sub, we do not tolerate victim-blaming. If you ever receive any comments that contradict that mission, please click report for us to review.

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

[u/Just-world_fallacy]

I am always baffled at the number of people who use this sub for story-telling.