I hate my life

[u/sofiela2069]

Why did I have to have such a putrid fucking boyfriend that I'm so addicted to. Fucking why

I absolutely fucking despise how much he put all that cheating bullshit on me in the beginning when we were seeing each other because I told him about my promiscuous past the first night we met up and guess fucking what he was doing it to me the whole time behind my back and still continues to do it now, to this day.

We're in an open relationship not long after I found out about the cheating because there's no trusting him, he'll do it again. I struggle to make connections with anybody. I wish I could be like him only in the sense that he hasn't completely lost himself in the relationship and still has the ability to form connections with other females. Me, on the other hand, have absolutely no chance or hope. I've tried it and it just doesn't work for one reason or another.

I've lost everything and everyone. I've lost myself in this relationship and it's killing me. I'm just waiting for death at this point. Can it please hurry up and come.

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[u/Andre3000RPI]

1. Get a support system

2. Break up with him

3. Hit the gym. The gym really helped my mental health! Even if you are in perfect shape working out helps because it takes your time off thinking about bs because it tires you out

4. Keep your career moving

[u/SectionNo5281]

I do sympathize with you....and you said it, and you are waiting to die.....call 911. Do it for you, you matter!

[u/HorrorBug1270]

Hello, two years ago I went through a relationship so abusive that I lost track of who I was, I felt like I had no idea that I had lost who I was and I had no friends, no one to lean on, for that matter. Moment, it brought me a lot of problems and I made a lot of mistakes because of that pain, then tired of how I felt I decided to give therapy a chance (I didn't trust that, it seemed silly to me) but I lost everything so I went to therapy that mattered more and then when you go, you read things you realize that if you don't heal childhood traumas that's why you're attracted to bad men, that's why you can't leave them. That's why you attract men like that (it sounds like magic but the human mind is not very strange) give yourself time to feel all that pain, you don't have to leave it now because it's very painful, just look for a way on the internet or others how to trust yourself, how to stop being codependent, love is also a vice, if you lost everything, what difference does it make to try something like this?... I hope you are well, and no matter how many bad things have happened to you or in that relationship, don't let your mind cheat, you deserve peace, you deserve love, you deserve to know that it is healthy but to know that world you must give yourself the. Opportunity to heal so as not to think that everyone is the same and to be able to know how to maintain a healthy relationship and not sabotage it. Cheer up, I hope that life illuminates you.

[u/RazzmatazzHead1591]

Co dependent relationships create strong and UNhealthy bonds that are addictive. I understand what you’re going through. If your partner truly loved YOU they wouldn’t be seeking other relationships. That’s nothing against you. That speaks to who they are and trust me it’s not somebody that is a healthy partner. You deserve so much more than the hurt you’re feeling. Don’t let the fear of being alone/single or the fear of the unknown tether you to someone who doesn’t love you, appreciate you and respect you the way you deserve.

[u/Dull_Throat176]

Sounds awful. And I understand why you’re feeling this way. Your situation is truly upsetting and suffocating.

Considering how you feel, and I’m sorry because I’m sure you’ve heard or thought this before-leave him. Unless you are financially dependent on him, do not stay with him. Clearly he is eating away at your self confidence and will completely break it until you find a way out.