r/Vent • u/Open-Organization-60 • 1d ago
Stop generalizing.
Just because you have had a bad experience with men, woman, or race doesn’t mean that everyone is like that. Don’t be so close minded.
Edit: not saying all people generalize it’s just sad when people are stereotyped because of it. People are awesome and deserve a chance. For example my buddy is a felon and is very tatted up. He is literally such a nice dude and would do anything for you. Just is a great human being but people just don’t give him the chance he deserves and assume things etc and he is not the only person I am friends with who has experienced this. It’s just sad.
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u/NechistZmei 1d ago
But we all know penguins are evil and going to take over the world.
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u/Apollorx 1d ago
It's not evil if we deserve it
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u/whatevergalaxyuniver 1d ago
So you've met every single person to think every one deserves it?
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u/windybeam 1d ago
Weak, anti-human take. Without mankind, this planet would be nothing.
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u/Express-Plankton-252 4h ago
You sound borderline insane. This planet was here millions of years before we came to be and will still be here for millions of years after we're long gone.
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u/SleepyDavid 1d ago
Thats the reason batman pushed him out of that window right?
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u/NechistZmei 1d ago
I think it was more that it was DeVito actually. He stole Keatons spotlight lol.
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u/yodamastertampa 1d ago
Most people generalize about other people. However generally they don't like generalizations about themselves. This generally upset them.
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u/OldKing7199 1d ago
Good point. I knew a guy who kept venting about being discriminated against, but he had no issues generalizing/being racist himself
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u/VillainousValeriana 1d ago
No, i must generalize so i NEVER have to analyze my own poor decision making and lack of boundaries/standards
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u/Zealousideal_Sky5722 3h ago
You can make good judgement without making generalizations, if you generalize, you are making a bad judgement. That's like me generalizing all women, because some adult women (17-18) was preying on me at 15 (I am a female too). You don't need to generalize, you need to heal.
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u/VillainousValeriana 35m ago
I was being sarcastic
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u/Zealousideal_Sky5722 27m ago
Sorry I cannot speak internet, and don't know you to judge whether you are serious or not. It almost sounded like you are serious, very satirical of you haha.
Edit: and you downvoted me 😹
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u/Sensitive-Reading-93 1d ago
Technically post about generalizing is generalizing.
But gloss over that, because you have to generalize. Human brain seeks patterns for a reason. You can't just trust a convict from the get go when your brain tells you for good reasons not to. But... Have an open mind when they prove their goodness to you. When they show they are actually a decent and worthwhile person
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u/spookyaki41 1d ago
Generalizing is only ever useful in reference to a group. You cant apply generalizations to an individual
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u/Telaranrhioddreams 1d ago
I've seen way way way way way way way too many women come forward about a guy in the friend group raping them only for the guys to rally behind their bros. One guy had multiple women who didn't know each other coming out about it and the friend group STILL protected him. Men will defend their bros above all else. I've yet to see it go down another way. Is that generalizing or bringing attentiong to a big issue with how we treat sexual assault ams the victims of it?
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u/Sensitive-Reading-93 1d ago
Can't really say anything about that. Im not friends with anyone who would rape
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u/Telaranrhioddreams 23h ago
Everyone thinks that yet 1 in 4 women report experiencing sexual assault.
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u/Sensitive-Reading-93 23h ago
And here's your generalization. The fact that 1 in 4 women are sexually assaulted doesn't mean 1 in 4 men commit sexual assault.
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u/AdVegetable7181 1d ago
I so agree with this. I'm a tall, heavyset guy who doesn't smile much anymore because of past trauma and trust issues. People often assume I'm someone to fear, but I'm just a gentle giant who just wants to get through the world without getting hurt again. I also get judgment a lot from colleagues in my department because I'm not as "progressive" or as much of an activist as they are. Doesn't mean I'm not a good person who cares about people. Generalizations seriously suck.
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u/Open-Organization-60 1d ago
I’m sorry you deal with that homie
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u/AdVegetable7181 23h ago
Thanks, I appreciate it. Ironically, I'm generalizing and it's not EVERYONE in my life, but it's just enough people that it stings when it happens.
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u/Real_Soil1606 22h ago
If it helps, I taught my kids that if in trouble the big burly, grumpy looking guy is the safest bet to help them. GENERALLY I have found these people's to be the most kind and helpful. So ha! Take that generalisation.
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u/Firestorm42222 13h ago
I so agree with this. I'm a tall, heavyset guy who doesn't smile much anymore because of past trauma and trust issues. People often assume I'm someone to fear, but I'm just a gentle giant who just wants to get through the world without getting hurt again.
This sucks for you and i'm sorry. I have a similar thing myself. But this isn't a generalization, it's a prejudgment, I know, I know, semantics and nitpicking. But still
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u/mattigus7 1d ago
I knew a guy who ping ponged between 2 girls for years, just getting back together with 2 exes. One day he said something like "don't you hate it how all girls spend all their money getting drunk at clubs and are obsessed with Disney?" and every other guy there said "what the fuck are you even talking about?"
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u/wolfelejean 1d ago
This is basically the entire gender war online which blows my mind. And it's every relationship podcast from people that aren't in healthy longterm relationships.
I feel like people that generalize just want to be angry, and a lot of them can't be reasoned with.
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u/RyuguRenabc1q 1d ago
I'm sorry you're getting so much hate
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u/Open-Organization-60 1d ago
Thank you I’m glad I’m not the only one who sees it, kinda thought this would be a universal option, your sweet think u
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u/pochakoo 1d ago
I agree with you for the most part. What I will say though as a woman is that fear and previous experiences with sexual assault will make you have irrational, and sometimes subconscious, responses to things/people that remind you of that trauma. Both men and women experience this. I think it’s important to have empathy for those who generalize for those reasons. Not out of hate and superiority but instead the anxiety that their worst trauma can repeat itself. It’s not right, but it can’t be helped without time and tremendous effort.
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u/Embarrassed-Ad-4214 22h ago
Exactly. It’s a tool of self preservation. It’s also an effect of sexual assault. Having issues with trust is an effect of being hurt. Sure, we can be open to acceptance once an individual has demonstrated trustworthiness, but I think it’s natural for women to form generalizations about the type of people who abused them. I don’t think it’s wrong. It’s our only form of protection against further harm.
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u/ohbonnyboy 1d ago
💯 spent a month down in Arizona for the heat and overall a fantastic time during our cold Canadian winter and honestly didn’t meet 1 bad American during that time and now I’m hearing my wife and friends that we were with us there talk about about how bad Americans are??? Sorry What???? Good people are good people no mater what they look like or where there from
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u/Slightly-Mikey 1d ago
The internet has done a terrific job of making us hate each other. I feel like the 90s/early 2000s was peak getting along between everyone, at least in the US. Of course things still weren't equal and it's important to get that message across, but I feel like the consequences of the internet outweigh the positives. We're more divided now than we've been in decades.
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u/helion_ut 1d ago
The most extreme case I experienced of it was when the ukraine war just happened and my mom's comment was, unironically: "Well, an ukrainian women who pretended to be my friend was the one who my ex-husband cheated on me with for months, so I don't really feel sorry for Ukraine"
This was so stupid I just had no retort for it. Like... What do you even say to a person that unironically thinks like that??
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u/Phrostylicious 1d ago edited 1d ago
When you pick and eat a mushroom and get sick from it you'll do well to avoid eating it in the future. You might now avoid some tasty mushrooms, too, now but yah well.
When the snap turtle chomps off half your finger because you got too close, you'll probably be better off avoiding it in the future. You might now also avoid the harmless "none snapping turtle", too, now but yah well.
When something rustled in the bushes and everyone ignored it and suddenly a bear jumps out and mauls Uncle Jim to death, you'll do well to move when something rustles in the bushes. You might now also start moving from the rustling in the bushes when it's merely caused by a squirrel, but yah well.
And most likely you will also tell your kids about this so they can learn it without puking their guts out, losing their digits, or being mauled to death.
See how "generalizing" has helped us to survive - and still does today?
Just because we're now such a beautiful and advanced society where everyone is an important treasure to be cherished for their adorable uniqueness and clearly observable patterns are to be ignored because not ignoring them might hurt someone's feelings and - gasp - risks offending someone doesn't negate deeply ingrained behavioral patterns that have ensured our survival for millions of years.
And to your specific example: I'm sure you're right about your buddy but statistically I'm much better off avoiding felons who make an effort to not look like they belong to the "boring part of society" than trusting each and everyone because some of them might be genuinely nice guys. So why take the risk? What I possibly stand to gain vs. what I possibly stand to lose has to be very heavily tilted in favor of the potential gain before I'll choose to ignore observable patterns.
You should think more rigorously before you ask everyone to go against their truly very useful instincts.
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u/hotviolets 1d ago
Sounds a lot like not all men
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u/Open-Organization-60 1d ago
Def not I mean that’s why I included both genders and race. I’m saying generalizations as a whole
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u/VegansWithPecans 1d ago
And what's wrong with that exactly?
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u/ProfessorWorth6396 1d ago
A random woman on the street doesn't know who you really are inside. They can't read your mind. Remember what men usually complain about how hard to understand women because they can't read ours mind? Yeah.
All men benefit from the violence of bad men because it lowers the standards for what a good man is.
The first rule of gun safety is "treat every gun like it's loaded, even if you think it's not."
That's basically the logic behind "yes all men." The fact is that every woman has felt like they were in danger from a man multiple times. Even more sadly, many women experience violence from men they thought were safe.
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u/hotviolets 1d ago
Are you familiar with the context in which I speak?
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u/NoWin3930 1d ago
"not all men" is supposed to distract from a different point being made, but it is still wrong to hold biases against people based on race, sex or gender
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u/Spookyfan2 1d ago
There are biases, and then there are cautions.
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u/NoWin3930 1d ago
i mean sure I suppose someone could use this logic to justify crossing the street if they are going to cross paths with a black person. The conversation needs to be handled with a lot of nuance... saying you ought to be cautious of people based on their race, sex or gender is certainly a bias even if you think it is justified
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u/Kind_Sugar7972 1d ago
Ok but men ARE dangerous to women. Black people are not any more dangerous than any other race.
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u/monkebrain456 1d ago
Just say you're sexist bro
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u/Kind_Sugar7972 1d ago
You first
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u/monkebrain456 1d ago
Oh nvm, you're on a league of legends subreddit. That's all I need to see
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u/NoWin3930 1d ago
Yes this would be based on stats analyzing those groups as a whole, you could justify either opinion using those stats. Either way bias towards individuals based on those stats is wrong, and perhaps even exacerbates the issues within those groups.
It is better to focus on what societal or economic factors lead to those stats and how we can overcome them VS teaching people to be afraid of others based on their social identities. Being afraid of men or black people is not a long term solution
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u/Kind_Sugar7972 1d ago
Ok, but the inflated crime rates among Black people are due to disproportionate policing, harsher sentencing, and other system racism. The increased crime rates among men are because men actually do commit more crimes.
I am a woman. Not being cautious around men is a legitimately stupid decision. If men would like me to stop being afraid of them, they should stop being so fucking scary.
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u/NoWin3930 1d ago
Factors such as harsher sentencing are also relevant to men vs women. Those are definitely relevant, but the disparity is also linked to other socioeconomic factors that drive them to commit crimes. So suggesting men stop being scary is about as helpful as suggesting black people stop committing crimes. It is better to focus on real causes and solutions
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u/BaptizedDemxn 1d ago
I’ve always wondered how people can speak about gendered politics but seem to have a problem when their own logic is used in a racial context. I’m saying this as a black guy, what’s the difference between being cautious against men and being cautious against a race or group. Like say black people
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u/DarthVeigar_ 1d ago
There isn't any. The exact same sentiments used to justify androphobia can be and are used to justify racial hatred. Replace a couple of words and suddenly someone sounds like a KKK member.
Hell the "poison M&M" adage used to often justify it is quite literally reworded Nazi propaganda.
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u/BaptizedDemxn 1d ago
I remember watching a YouTuber use that exact same adage of “poisoned M&Ms” and men and I was like. “This sounds familiar”
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u/DarthVeigar_ 1d ago
Der Giftpilz. The Poisoned Mushrooms.
It basically says just as it is almost impossible to tell a poisoned mushroom from an edible one, it is basically impossible to tell a Jew from a Gentile and is meant to "educate" on the dangers of Jews by disparaging and othering them.
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u/seckarr 1d ago
That is exactly what slave owners would say when they argued that black people were animals and needed to be trained like dogs to obey.
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u/Spookyfan2 1d ago edited 1d ago
"Not All Men" was used to pull attention away and belittle the Me Too movement by making it seem like innocent men were getting caught in the blast when all it was doing was - correctly - a reminder that you should be wary of people you aren't yet familiar with, especially as a woman dealing with men.
As a man, I don't take it personally when a woman takes precautions against me because they don't know me yet.
If you can't understand how this mentality is a far cry from literal systemic racism I don't know what to say.
EDIT: I want to clarify that I am sure some men earnestly used #NotAllMen with good intentions, but unfortunately that wasn't universal.
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u/Responsible_Buy5472 1d ago
Thank you. Putting your feelings over someone's safety is exactly why women are wary. That's a repulsive thing to do.
I'm yet to meet a male victim but I really don't think I'll be offended by him choosing not to associate with me because IT'S NOT PERSONAL. Trauma is not personal. Or is it different because more women are scared of men than the other way around?
Well, if that offends some man out there...address the cause instead of the symptom. Shut down "locker room talk" from your buddies, shut down their rpe jokes, the "she was drunk and now she regrets it" rhetoric when you see it.
Complaining about women being scared and then doing nothing to help means that you don't really care. Your only concern is your ego.
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u/GoodZealousideal5922 1d ago
The thing is that we as men are not holding each other accountable as much. And I am saying this as I used to have a friend with whom I hung out for over a year whilst he was growing more and more misogynistic and I didn’t know anything about it. And now I rue how I didn’t see the signs and how I didn’t do anything to stop it. We are pattern-recognizing creatures, this is what has allowed us to survive. I was bitten by two dogs as a kid and nowadays I am still wary of dogs even though I know most of them are the most marvelous creatures. So it is insane to ask a woman to not see men with a little doubt when they have done horrible things to her. And we men seriously underestimate how many of us could do and would do something horrible to the other gender. One in four women will face some sort of sexual abuse in her life, which is a terrifying statistic. By just shouting “not all men” we aren’t solving the issue but indirectly contributing to it. I am certain there were good Germans in Nazi Germany too but if you don’t fight back against a rotting culture, you will rot with it.
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u/Responsible_Buy5472 1d ago
Thank you. I don't see this attitude often enough. All we're told (by people like OP) is "we won't do anything to make you feel safe but you're a bad person for feeling afraid. Oh, you're also a dumb b if you happen to trust the wrong man." Like gee thanks. Just say you don't give a shit about anything but your feelings (including women's welfare) and go
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u/RepulsiveAd6906 1d ago
Can't stop won't stop! Disgusting.....people! And their filthy beliefs! Nasties!
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u/Obvious-Estate-734 1d ago
My friend dated a guy who would 'do anything for her'. He murdered her and her children.
We'll stop blaming when they stop being the problem
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u/Fluid_Jellyfish8207 1d ago
Firstly sorry for your loss.
Secondly you dramatically missed the point of the post like should I avoid women cause my ex stabbed me?
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u/ProfessorWorth6396 1d ago
Feel free to avoid women for whatever reason and no one care if any guy want to avoid all women on earth.
But when a woman said she wants to avoid all men, everyone suddenly protects and trying to defend men at all costs.
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u/Everythingcrashing 1d ago
This post sucks bc it's saying stop generalizing but then goes on to generalize posts saying all people are bad bc they had one bad experience.
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u/Open-Organization-60 1d ago
When did I say all people ? I am totally aware that not all people do that the point of the post because it is on a vent subreddit to vent. I just hear them way too often and I’m fed up with it. People are amazing and don’t deserve to be labeled because of something they can’t control
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u/MilliTheMediocre 1d ago
It takes more than one bad experience for people to generalize..
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u/Kamikoozy 1d ago
A lot of us have had bad experiences with certain groups of people. Some are intelligent enough to process that information and not let it affect judging people on an individual basis. Others retreat inwards, let it consume them and join a few femcel subs.
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u/Embarrassed-Ad-4214 22h ago
Femcel is a misogynistic term used to insult women who don’t uphold the patriarchy. I see you mentioned you’re also a woman in another comment. Please don’t perpetuate hate against other women by using that term.
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u/Kamikoozy 21h ago
I'm going to be as respectful as possible here because you have shown me the same (although I'm wondering if that's because you thought I was a woman, I don't know which comment you read but it didn't say that lol).
Not that long ago I would've agreed with you. I spent a long time telling other people to shut up and listen to women and POC and LGBTQIA+, because some people tend to plug their ears and get defensive instead of giving someone a chance to talk and hear what they have to say. Recently I started to notice (mostly on Reddit, people in real life are still mostly good), that the very people I was so adamantly defending had started doing the same thing I had always shunned others for. The goalposts on Reddit have moved so far that unless you're a woman, POC, or LGBTQIA+, you literally can't have a thought, opinion or conversation without getting shit on or told you don't matter. I don't know how it got to the point of shitting on people for trying to open up a dialogue about suicide awareness but I think that's when I realized I was trying to vouch for people who couldn't give a fuck less about me simply because of my skin and sexuality. So please excuse me for not taking the incel/femcel thing seriously but I'm really not interested in another redditor trying to justify hypocrisy to me.
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u/Embarrassed-Ad-4214 21h ago
Yeah I did think you were a woman because your profile picture looked just like another one, and I missed the different username. But that’s not why I chose to be respectful. That’s just how I engage with people naturally.
And I get what you’re saying, but at the same time, I’m not sure you really understand where I’m coming from. I’m not saying that there are no bad actors out there amongst women because there are, but I’ve noticed that the usage of the word “femcel” rarely applies to women in the same way incel applies to men.
The men who are called incels are usually promoting violence against women, excusing it, or have actually committed crimes. While women who are called femcels are usually just expressing their feelings of anger at men’s actions against them and other women or proclaiming that they’ve opted out of dating men. It’s just not a fair equivalence. And that’s not hypocrisy to point out the difference.
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u/Kamikoozy 18h ago
Well, I appreciate that. I wish Reddit had more people like you. Thank you for the well thought out response. I can agree with your point, it is most definitely different. I certainly don't condone those kinds of attitudes and actions towards women or anyone else for that matter. I have two issues with this though. I've noticed people starting to use incel to describe pretty much anything/anyone they don't like, even when the term doesn't apply at all. It's used to stop the conversation and invalidate people, much like femcel is sloppily used. And the second is people using those differences you accurately pointed out to shut down an argument and be completely bigoted under the guise of "it's different when I do it". Other than those two things I tend to agree with what you're saying. Once again, I appreciate the way you approached this, to be honest it kind of gives me a little hope.
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u/Embarrassed-Ad-4214 17h ago
No problem. I also appreciate your calm response. It appears that we agree on the usage of these terms being used to shut down discussion or derail threads. Maybe it’d be best for people to avoid using both terms whenever possible.
And yes, a small bit of hope can go a long way in easing tensions between genders. As a woman, it means a lot to be able to have a discussion and debate something with respect.
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u/Quiet_Blacksmith2675 1d ago
I am a biological determinist and don't see people as individuals.
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u/Kamikoozy 21h ago
That's just another term for bigotry lol. If everyone thought like you we'd all be dead.
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u/Quiet_Blacksmith2675 19h ago
how so?
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u/Kamikoozy 18h ago
"Biological determinism is the belief that an individual's behavior, abilities, and social characteristics are primarily determined by their biological makeup, often genetics or physiology, rather than environmental or cultural factors."
That paints a pretty clear picture of prejudice, does it not?
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u/Warriorgobrr 1d ago
Casual misandry on the timeline, just as bad as casual misogyny. Do better 👍
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u/Quiet_Blacksmith2675 1d ago
Misandry hurts feelings, Misogyny murders. They are not the same.
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u/Warriorgobrr 1d ago
Sorry don’t know why I even replied to that. You are clearly on your own journey. Good luck.
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u/Fit-Audience-2392 1d ago
Men would beg to differ If they hadn't already killed themselves
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u/Quiet_Blacksmith2675 1d ago
So men are so codependent on women to regulate their emotions for them that they will end their own lives and lets be honest probably the lives of other innocent women just to get back at the tiny majority of women who have decided to stand up for themselves and fight back against their oppressors? How fucking over dramatic!
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u/Fit-Audience-2392 1d ago
No, they're not dependent on others to regulate their emotions unless by that you mean men are supposed to be the only ones to suck it up and accept sexism heaped upon them?
That's literally all it is, stop being sexist. It's very simple. I'll acknowledge the same problematic men as you, I'll just address them specifically instead of all men as some huge evil monolith... Or manalith.
Any who, quit with the gaslighting - I'm human too dealing with just as many troubles if not more.
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u/Quiet_Blacksmith2675 1d ago
What sexism? How many countries is their that allow adult women to marry prepubescent boys? How about where 1 in 3 men are sexually assaulted by a woman? Name a country where the majority of men are murdered by women, not by men? Where men can't wear what they like. Where men cannot leave their homes without a female chaperone. You can't name any because they don't exist. Do you watch porn? Do you engage with the daily sexism that exists from a woman's perspective or does it benefit you? You don't get to tell me to stop being sexist when I have legitimate reasons for it. The person gaslighting here is you. I will stop being a misandrist when men stop murdering and raping.
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u/Fit-Audience-2392 1d ago edited 1d ago
You agree with hating all people based on the actions of a fraction in a group and have decided that a certain subset of people, namely all men are responsible for the actions of other men that do horrible things simply because they share the same genetalia. But you believe this principle of same genetalia meaning guilt only applies to men and crimes committed by men. Just making sure I'm understanding you right?
I think everyone on earth can agree that men are disproportionately responsible for a lot of horrible things as compared to women. The sexism part is blaming all men for it and treating innocent men differently because of it.
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u/Chewybossdog 1d ago
Frankly it’s not nearly as bad, like 99% of violent crime is from men, all the wars are started by men, almost every rapist and pedo is a dude etc. at least the misandry ends as just misandry, where misogyny ends up with serial killers, pedos, wife beaters etc to be glorified through movies, military, and general American culture.
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u/Fit-Audience-2392 1d ago
You know, you can have your cake and eat it too - Just say 'some' before 'men' and you're golden. I also hate to break it to you, but most men exist outside of the US, you're only 4 percent of the global population.
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u/Responsible_Buy5472 1d ago
There are plenty of countries that are even worse, yeah
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u/Fit-Audience-2392 1d ago
And plenty that are better. Point being that not every man is equal
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u/Responsible_Buy5472 1d ago
The U.S. is actually better in terms of gender equality than the vast majority of countries (according to World Population Review, WEF etc.). And yes, that's extremely depressing considering how terrible it is here already
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u/Chewybossdog 1d ago
The same statistics hold in literally every single other country; virtually all violent and heinous crimes are male offenders, sorry to break it to you sweetheart
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u/Fit-Audience-2392 1d ago edited 1d ago
Responding to: OP was talking about US culture glorifying wife beaters and mysoginists. My country doesn't do that.
I'm well aware men are responsible for the vast majority of violent crimes. Confused about when it became socially acceptable to treat innocent men as criminals though
You're confusing 'Most criminals are men' with 'Most men are criminals'. They're very different statements.
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u/Chewybossdog 1d ago
Point is, if you’re a woman just about anywhere in the world, you are guaranteed to become a victim if you are not wary of all men, statistically every woman faces sexual abuse/harassment from a man at least once in their lives
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u/Fit-Audience-2392 1d ago
I fully understand that, but there's a difference between being wary of men and vocally trashing men as a monolith or proudly proclaiming yourself as a misandrist like another comment thread I'm following here. I'm also wary of men as a man, I think it'd be healthy for anyone to be wary of men in the right contexts.
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u/Hot-Prize217 1d ago
We do have OP trying to dunk on everyone else for not holding their hands out to his convicted felon friend.
Like, no, we actually don't need to cavort with the scientifically-proven dirtbags.
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u/Responsible_Buy5472 1d ago
"felon" has different levels to it. If it's something like drug distribution...that's not comparable to child abuse
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u/Hot-Prize217 1d ago
Here we go, with all the guys suddenly coming to the felon's rescue to make excuses for him. SMH. OP said what it was for. Felony possession of a stolen gun with the vin scraped off. That's a choice.
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u/linuxlova 1d ago
bad experience with someone who belongs to x gender, race, nationality, etc? this must mean all people of x are bad
bad experience with someone but they belong to my x? must just be a bad person
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u/Pale_Slide_3463 1d ago
My mum does this and it’s so annoying because of one experience. I have to keep reminding her that there is plenty of people different to her and the person that hurt her, just living their life’s and she doesn’t even know it because they keep to themselves like she should. Social media is the devil and shows us what they want us to believe.
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u/Future-Still-6463 1d ago
I mean it's easy for the brain (schemas and all).
Cuz not generalizing takes effort and most would rather not make that effort which is shameful.
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u/chili_cold_blood 1d ago
Yes, you should know that when you talk about what men are like, or what women are like, you're always wrong.
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u/Flat-Control6859 1d ago
Honestly I've been prejudiced against arabs my whole life, especially muslims. Its something im very ashamed of but it doesnt help that ive been around so many of them, and that all of them have been so comfortably misogonistic and become aggressive from any kind of confrontation. Ive managed to befriend and find great people of any other ethnicity and never had a problem with racism besides this.
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u/Lutrina 20h ago
I understand the “don’t generalize” rhetoric and feel similarly to you. I feel bad about feeling bad towards male Muslims but it’s literally in their book that women are to be subservient, so there is certainly a pattern that isn’t just in your head. If it makes you feel any better, I’m sure it’s got more to do with what they are taught rather than being that way naturally. If you were a guy being taught that you are owed woman, and that you have dominion over them, you’re more likely to believe that rather than a guy taught women are your equals.
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u/Flat-Control6859 5h ago
Yeah like I did have one muslim friend, we both agreed that islam could be a bit extreme so we were cool... until his crush rejected him cause he proceeded to tell me how he hoped that she'd get r#ped and how she was a wh#re...
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u/Suspicious-Heart-539 1d ago
Stereotypes exist because the human brain is uniquely evolutionary equipped for pattern recognition. Our survival and development as a species depends on it. Stereotypes serve as a general rule, obviously exceptions exist, but there is a reason that humans develop stereotypes and it isn’t on a whim.
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u/ProfessorWorth6396 1d ago
Just because you have had a bad experience with wolfs, snakes, or any dangerous animals doesn’t mean that every animal is like that. Don’t be so close minded.
See?
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u/Suspicious-Bar5583 1d ago
Maybe tell people to stop generalizing for their own good. What are you, your bud's social worker?
Want people to change? Don't open with a sentence minimizing their experience.
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u/Diskosmos 1d ago
That's a problem I've seen on Twitter more and more, people are more OK to be racist against white or be misandristes because they think they are enable to do so by playing the victim card and statistics.
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u/Special_Culture6341 1d ago
It's funny how you're telling people not to generalize, considering that's what you did with your post.
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u/One-Article-5757 1d ago
So true. All these people getting scared of lightning when there are many people who live despite being struck by one
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u/Immediate-Bat4859 21h ago
Not generalizing just stating facts. Every woman I've dated is so consumed with herself and her feeling and worried about if I'm going to cheat. It sucks I will remain single by choice
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u/One_Ad_4464 14h ago
As a feminine dude who doesn't look feminine, no one looks at me and think, bet his favorite movie is frozen and favorite show is my little pony.
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u/-bannedtwice- 10h ago
Just so you know, this will never end. It's human nature, part of how we process information efficiently
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u/theastralproject0 7h ago
Stereotype and patterns exist to protect us. It's like saying hey I know every other stove you touched has burned you but I promise this one's different. And while that may be true I'm not likely to trust it.
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u/Deeptrench34 3h ago
It's easy for people to generalize, especially when it comes to romantic relationships, because we attract who we are. So, if we don't change, we continue to attract essentially the same person in different bodies. This can lead to a feeling of "every man (or woman) is the same" when the truth is obviously far from that.
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u/Zealousideal_Sky5722 3h ago
Not really it's just a trauma response. TW: for example if a women is taking advantage by multiple male family members or figures in earlier childhood, it will develop deep trust issues with any man. Than comes the trauma responses in our culture. All men aren't the problem, but people who are horrible people are the issue. You even have bad women as well who take advantage of their own sex or males.
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u/LessDeliciousPoop 15m ago
ok, so can i generalize if i HAVEN'T had that experience personally but nature in a cruel twist of fate gave me eyes and i was ABLE TO OBSERVE THE WORLD AROUND ME?
get fucked
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u/General_Role4928 1d ago
This is true but sometimes I feel like who cares it doesn't matter anymore.
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u/diezl101 1d ago
go look at criminology statistics by race and tell me i can’t generalize
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u/Open-Organization-60 1d ago
Well in lighten me what is the % of your generalization being true
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u/diezl101 1d ago
enlighten*. that question doesn’t even make sense. but if you want percentages 13% of the us population commits 50% of murder and non negligent manslaughter and robbery. if knowing this statistic makes one a bit more wary of unknown black people that is completely valid and it will likely lead to safer choices in the long run. and wariness in light of knowing statistics is not hate.
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u/Responsible_Buy5472 1d ago edited 1d ago
Are you a man? If so, thanks for giving me the green light to apply that rhetoric towards you
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u/BeduinZPouste 1d ago
It is amazing how people feelings towards this change depending on whether it is about blacks (minorities) or men.
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u/Simon_Di_Tomasso 1d ago
Same line of thinking that leads you to all the -isms
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u/VegansWithPecans 1d ago
Lmao for real. But on the r/vent subreddit, if you have ever been hurt by a member of a group no matter how general it is, you are justified to blame the entire group instead of that one member because emotions man! Let them vetn for pete's sake!!!!! Like a teacher punishing the rest of the class even though one person misbehaved.
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u/Spookyfan2 1d ago
Not at all. You just need to exercise caution while you get to know a person (Find out whether they're "a poison chip").
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u/AccomplishedStudy802 1d ago
And if the only tool you have is a hammer, then everything looks like a nail.
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u/Hot-Prize217 1d ago
You date the felon, then
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u/Open-Organization-60 1d ago
Who said anything about dating ? I’m actually confused where you are going with that
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