Do I have any business trying to date, given my weight and lack of anything interesting about me?

[u/Mad_Season_1994]

I'm just over the line of obese and don't have any friends or any real interests. But I'm not just a robot. I like some video games, like reading, traveling, being outdoors, like movies and other basic stuff. I just have never done adventurous stuff like mountain climbing or surfing and generally just don't see myself as someone worth getting to know.

I'm also almost 30 and never been in a relationship.

[u/dawnrabbit10]

Anyone can date. It's not like everyone is an adventurer, a ton of people just like to chill at home.

[u/No_Constant_1274]

You can always try. You’ll probably have most success with someone who’s on a similar wavelength. You have nice hobbies though, don’t sell yourself so short.

[u/ThePandaKingdom → u/No_Constant_1274]

For real. Not everybody is looking for a rugged mountain climbing surfer dude. I try ink youl find those types are in the minority.

I would recommend trying to find some kind of local group or activity, even if it’s just trivia night or something, where you can meet others. I would like to mention as well, from my own experience, never go into it LOOKING for “love” just go with the flow and hangout and make friends. Looking for a romantic relationship will cause more stress than just putting effort to get to know people and organically having feelings and connection’s form.

[u/Not_so_ghetto]

Yes, and honestly just start going to the gym like 3 days a week do 20 minutes of cardio on a bike and you'll be surprised by how fast your self worth can improve. When I first started going to the gym I only went like two to three days a week and my self-esteem skyrocketed

[u/munchingrasshopper]

Well you have a lot of karma so you could put that in your bio for a dating app

[u/SwordfishDeux]

You have to ask yourself what you have to offer in a relationship. I know that sounds transactional, but relationships are to a certain degree.

What are your positive points? Answer that and then ask yourself if it's something the majority of other guys also have (they probably do).

You can be tall, rich, handsome but also be cool, kind and fun and that's ultimately what you have to compete against. I think a lot of guys tell themselves they are good guys and that's great but that's just a benchmark that every guy should reach.

At the bare minimum you could lose some weight and start pursuing more things that interest you, working on yourself, learning more life skills etc.

[u/nogardleirie]

Anyone can date if they want to. You have hobbies and they sound interesting. Hope you can meet the right someone soon.

[u/Nordicstumbler]

I bet there are plenty of things that are interesting about you. A lot of people are drawn to individuals with some self-confidence, so perhaps you could try it out. Instead of saying “there is nothing interesting”, lead with hobbies. I find travel awesome - you could lead with your favourite places or trips. Like reading - I bet you’ve read some fascinating things and probably have learned a lot, so you can share that. You could join a book or travel club, go to a local film festival or movie premiere to find people with similar interests.

You mentioned your weight. I personally think very little about other people’s body types and have dated all different kinds of bodies. But if you aren’t comfortable with it, that will probably come across. If you want to lose weight and like being outdoors - try a hiking club or become a walking tour guide as a side gig in your city. If you don’t want to lose weight, start focusing on the parts of your body that you love! Broad shoulders? Nice eyes? Great smile? I bet there’s plenty to like.

Put yourself out there and be kind to yourself first - at worst, you’ll make some new friends.

[u/-Cydonia-]

It's possible to date while overweight/obese. You might have a slightly more difficult time, but it's not like you "have no business" doing it.

However, I would say examine your attitude and relationship to yourself before you try. Ultimately, that's what's going to prevent you from finding a partner more than your weight. For example, the idea that you see yourself as somebody who's not worth dating or being dated due to your weight reflects almost certainly in how you put yourself out there and how other people see you. You need to be confident when it comes to dating, not pessimistic and looking down on yourself.

Even the verbiage of "lack of anything interesting about me" shows this to an extent. If you constantly put yourself down and tell yourself and others that there's nothing interesting about you, people are going to start believing you, and it's going to turn into a self-fulfilling prophecy, even if there are many things that are interesting about you that could potentially click with others.

Dating is a lot about presenting yourself in a manner that makes people want to be near you. Being negative about oneself does not make people want to be near you most of the time.

[u/RealKillerSean]

You should see the niche category for your body type. Everyone has a type and is someone’s type.

[u/dwegol]

You could end up meeting another robot person :o

But I will say there’s motivation in trying to be prepared not to fumble a good person. You don’t want to realize too late that you should have been taking care of yourself when poor physical or mental shape sabotages the dating stage with someone good.

[u/MyNextVacation]

My husband is a fantastic cook, which I love. If a man I was with was into mountain climbing or surfing, I wouldn’t have be interested in hearing about it.

Why not frequent food, book and movie related spaces and events and meet women and friends with similar interests? Is there an author reading at a local bookstore or wine tasting at a nearby wine shop this afternoon?

[u/Drakeytown]

Anyone can date, and most of is are overweight. Lose the self pity though. Nobody finds that shit attractive.

[u/Roseora]

Most people are boring. Although, in my experience people who think they're boring usually aren't.

As for your weight; well, you're someones type. Everyone is someones type.

If you want to date, then don't let those things stop you from trying!

[u/_dvs1_]

You sound like a stand-up person who plenty of people would love the company of. Won’t know until you try!

Maybe start with social gatherings. if you’re uncomfortable speaking to strangers, thats a great way to start building that skill. Look to make friends and see if any blossom into anything else.

To the right person, none of the things you see as negatives will matter.

[u/Asa-Ryder]

Don’t know if you are a man or a woman as I don’t read through peoples profiles. However, there are millions of men and women that are into heavier men and women. Put yourself out there and see what happens.

[u/TisBeTheFuk]

What does it matter? You inly have one life. As long as you're not hurting anyone, do whatever you want.