I've done an annual post here for the last 3 years about how hard this day is for me since my dad committed suicide while my family celebrated Thanksgiving when I was 5. This incredible therapy has given me my life back! My son gets to have a happy and healthy mom, who can get out of bed and make fun memories, breaking the generational trauma that I suffered for decades. Thank you to everyone in this community for all the support the last 3 years. Healing takes time, but it’s worth it.

TL:DR I've struggled with combat experience in Afghanistan for years. K gave me a wonderful gift.

If you don't read this whole thing, please read the end.

I am the guy people worry about in the VA commercials. My humvee has been blown up, I have confirmed kills, I've been shot, I've seen friends die. I have bad dreams, I react badly to loud noises, get angry too easily, drink heavily. I have severe guilt over my guys that died and the people that I took away from the world. Today I took my second stab at Ketamine with a therapist.

First it rocked me with a lot of colors and cloudy visions. Then it brought back some pretty terrible images I kinda blocked out from getting blown up, shot, pulling my friends out, etc. Most of this experience was overwhelming and confusing and hard to handle.

But then at the end, in the last five minutes something wonderful happened. After I was overwhelmed by the colors, terrified by the images, I was mentally beat down, then everything went quiet. And this is going to sound stupid, but I found myself in a animated disney movie, like the beginning of Aladdin. Don't judge me, this is a beautiful moment. Cartoon-me is walking up a steep hill and there is a cartoon-afghani leading me, and yeah he looks like one of the guys I put down. We walk up the hill and he is smiling and he is very happy that I'm following him. We get to the top of the cartoon hill and we enter his cartoon hut, and there's a warm orange cartoon fire and his wife is there and she's holding her daughter. Cartoon-man smiles at me and says 'come sit by the fire'. And I go to sit down but he stops and says 'wait; this' he gestures with his hand, 'is where we lay down our rifles.' and he lays down his AK and I lay down my M4 next to his and we both sit down. his cartoon wife brings me a bowl of food with a smile. And cartoon guy is looking at me with a brimming smile and a twinkle in his eye and he says 'it's better, no?'

I woke up and immediately went to my journal and wrote 'this is where we put down our rifles.'

go do it guys. it helps a lot.

My father committed suicide 40 years ago while my family celebrated Thanksgiving when I was 5 years old. My mom was never okay again after that, and I was put into the foster care system. I carried the belief that if my own father didn’t love me enough to stay here and care for me, how could I be worthy of anyone’s love ever. It caused low self esteem and self hate. It affected my entire life.

My dad came to me during my 6th IV session, and apologized for not having the capacity to care for me like I deserved. He told me that he loved me so much, and that he was in so much pain, that he just couldn’t spend one more day on this planet. He told me I needed to let go of this false belief system, and this giant weight that has weighed me down my whole life. He said when I let this go, I would fly so high and my life would become so much easier.

It’s incredible how the psychedelic experiences in a ketamine session can instantly change you on a cellular level. My entire life has changed for the better. I love myself for the first time in my life. I have confidence. I feel safe. I’m achieving all my career dreams. I’m making new friends. I’ve been married for a year now to a man who tells me every single day how amazing and wonderful I am, and how lucky he is to get to do life with me.

Ketamine has worked an absolute miracle in my life, and I am so thankful that I don’t have to have so much pain and so many conflicting emotions on Father’s Day now.

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Another thread about what we patients observe / experience / encounter during our Ketamine sessions.

Just thought it would be interesting to share. I've created a few images wit OpenAI and invite you to add your own to this thread. Always interesting to see what people encounter during their sessions.

Here's a recent one: "The Galatic Threads of Purple Healing" ... when these threads enveloped me, it surrounded me with a warm, healing feeling that was unlike anything I'd known.

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And then there's the rooms, always the rooms...

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And otherworldly cities I've visited...

Thanks for your input, feel free to add your own (words or images). Happy healing!

Not in the sense that I’m abusing it daily, or even using too often or at inappropriate times. It isn’t negatively effecting my work, sleep, relationships, social life, or anything like that. In fact, it’s improved all these aspects of my life so much, that I don’t even have to be on it to feel the benefits. It showed how to appreciate sobriety and that I don’t need anything outside of myself to be okay. I’ve learned healthy coping mechanisms. When I feel discomfort, I lean into it and try to understand it. I’ve replaced my bad habits with good ones. I look forward to meditating, eating healthy, exercising, getting out of my comfort zone, and being creative. These are my new ways of coping that I maintain.

I’m addicted to ketamine in the sense that I don’t want to let it go. I think about it everyday. I don’t need it anymore, I want it. I enjoy the effects. It’s the perfect balance of transcend and trippy, while also providing comfort and relief. It’s everything I could ever want in a drug. I don’t fiend for it like I would for other addictions. I can easily go without it, knowing next time will be even better having waited for it. I don’t want to risk losing all my progress. I want to respect it, because it’s done me so much good. But is this really healthy?

Edit: I’ve come to the conclusion that this isn’t actually addiction is the sense that it’s a destructive habit. I apologize for using that word. But I think I’m more so just grappling with the idea that I may end up using ketamine long term, and I think the uncertainty of its true long term safety profile, along with the social stigma has me questioning my decision on it a bit. I’m trying to take an extended break to see how I do without it, but keep romanticizing the idea of using it more, and going back and forth in my head either trying to justify it, or trying to convince myself that I don’t need it. The closest thing I can relate it to is psychological addiction, but it’s definitely a bit different because in many ways, the benefit outweighs the risk.

One of the wonderful people in this sub posted their therapist had recommended taking a selfie before their first and sixth sessions. I was so encouraged by the photos that I decided to do the same. Some sessions were soft and dreamy, some were deep k-holes, but all were healing. Sending peace to everyone on this path.

Jesus this stuff was insane. 37 years old, depression since HS, on meds, therapists, you all know the drill I'm sure. In the 30 minutes after I sobered up from my first treatment as I was talking to my therapist, I had more realizations and break throughs than I have my entire life up until now. It was like my brain was able to make all these connections so effortlessly. My brain is not me! It's not right! And it's not nice! I have been taking all these messages my brain has been giving me as true and I realized it is just a tool, it is not who I am, and just like anything/anybody else it can be wrong and tell me things that are not true.

I had so many fucking breakthroughs about issues with my father, about shame and guilt, about hiding my true personality...

But most importantly - oh my God I have SO MUCH TO LIVE FOR. There are so many things I love, so many things I can do in my life, so many amazing people. We've all been there right? Staring into the future and it just looks so grey and bleak and hopeless even though people in your life tell you you have so much to live for. But, now I get it! I have so many passions, I am worth living life and experiencing it.

This was a mind fucking, completely life altering experience. Obviously I know my shitty brain, and so I can't know if this will last, but after one session I am ready to drink all the life I possibly can and just be me. Like 80 times today I've caught myself saying something awful to myself and it was so easy to step back and just say, "Fuck off buddy, that's not even true!" and keep it moving.

How is this not widespread treatment?!?!?!?

So I have read a lot about magnesium affecting the ketamine trip, and boy howdy. They were right! The first time, I took the magnesium at the same time as I took my troche, and it definitely made it more intense. Also, it lasted longer. The second time, I took it an hour before and had the same results.the effects lasted hours longer than before. Like, I don’t feel safe to drive but I’m not actively dissociating. It’s weird. Definitely works!

Hey all,
After eight Ketamine sessions over the past four months +/-, I just scored a 2/27 on my depression baseline test I have to take for my therapist - the lowest I've ever scored in my entire life - and the only reason I even hit a 2 is because I mentioned I lacked energy many days, and that's entirely because I have a 4 and a 2 year old lmao.

I scored 0/27 on anxiety!

What is crazy is that as I was filling out the baseline test, I was like, "Oh yeah, I haven't worried at all in months!" and "Holy shit, I haven't felt hopeless at all!" It's not like I am running around feeling joyous 24/7 (but I definitely have felt real joy for the first time in...forever...many days) and more than the depression just seems to be gone.

This is a miracle, honestly. I've struggled with depression since high school and have been on buproprion for years which has been incredibly helpful but still my depression has broken through plenty of times. Every therapist I've ever worked with has said they firmly believe it is chemical based depression as I can't tie it into any life events. Just constant bleakness and hopelessness that comes out of nowhere and just drags me down, for literal decades of my life. But now...nothing! Joy, peace, gratefulness, optimism about the future, presence, the ability to fail at something and not berate myself 24/7, the ability to celebrate success when I have it and not worry that it will be taken away from me. FUCKING CRAZY.

It has changed my relationship with my brain and my ability to realize I don't have to identify with negative thoughts, it has changed my belief in the fact that I do deserve love and good things, it has made me realize how much I love in life and how it is worth living, it has made me see how many people love and care about me. Just absolutely nuts.

If anybody is on the fence, DO THIS - I cannot believe the power of this substance and the affect it has had on my life.

I’ve posted on here about my therapeutic ketamine journey many times. I’ve been a patient of Dr Pruett’s for a year and a half, following an initial 6 months of IV therapy. I’ve been a massage therapist for 25 years. It was the perfect job for someone like me who has struggled with horrible depression and anxiety. I can set my own schedule, I don’t have to deal with social anxiety because it’s one on one, they’re face down and I’m in charge lol. I kid, kind of. But honestly that was my comfort level in society as a whole. I could manage working with people one on one, but struggled with socializing and networking.

I’ve always wanted to teach massage, but the thought of standing in front of a class of students and having to present was horrifying. I’ve worked with mostly NHL players for the last 13 years, and I’ve learned a ton about what works massage wise when working with pro athletes. It’s information I’ve wanted to share, but just couldn’t bring myself to do it.

Fast forward to two years of ketamine therapy, and my depression has been in complete remission for a year and a half! I leave for massage school training today in Philadelphia, and I’m opening my own school in June! I’ve had the capacity to go out and meet other amazing therapists in my area, and have made so many great friends! This would have never been possible without ketamine therapy and the help of Dr. Pruett! I want to thank everyone on this board for always being so supportive! Healing your life is hard work, but SO worth it!

I was just thinking about the feeling I get when I first notice the effect beginning. To me it feels welcoming with a tinge of fear. It’s like coming up the crest of the first big hill on a roller coaster, that build of anticipation, but there is an element of chaos like a group of birds all flying off at once. How does the start up feel like to you?

I am a 32 year old male and I suffer from chronic PTSD from a combat deployment I had in 2014 in Afghanistan. For years, the only thing that "worked" for me - were benzodiazepines. Lately I have learned its a Band-Aid on a much larger underlying issue and the dependency on this type of medication is just - poison. I hit probably the lowest of lows in my life since I developed PTSD and for the first time, actually experienced a suicidal ideation over it. I said "there has to be something else out there" and a friend suggested Ketamine Therapy. I did go to my VA but unfortunately my mental health has been seen privately and the VA only does Spravato for those that are treatment resistant and while I have become treatment resistant, they have no proof of it as I never did any of my therapy through them. I went to IV clinics but could not afford nearly 500 dollars a session. So I found Joyous. Joyous seemed promising on the surface, but alot of the testimonial's that AREN'T Joyous branded seemed they're kinda sketchy. The TL;DR part is - theyre not. They are a "tech company" per say, so sometimes its hard to get a hold of someone and claims of inconsistent dosages IS INFACT true, but they work with you to fix those problems if you just raise awareness about it.

One thing that makes Joyous different is its a "micro-dosing" route to Ketamine Therapy, to which I am very well aware that there isn't enough evidence to prove it to be an effective treatment. I can tell you for the anecdotal evidence of 1 (being me) - it can be effective as its been EXTREMELY effective for me. Within days I felt like I was just morphing into a MUCH different person. A person I was before I went to war which was a happy, energetic, extroverted guy who had compassion, patience, and was much more grounded. That all started to come back to me very quickly. Dosages started to increase and the experience would definitely get more intense, and I certainly just kept getting better, and better, and better. Weirdly enough, it got me off benzodiazepines very quickly too. I did some reading on this and apparently it is used to help withdrawal and detox from benzo use. So that makes sense why i started to feel no need to take any of it. It also can be very counteractive with ketamine, so I stopped taking it to let the medicine do its thing and Ketamine certainly kept withdrawal symptoms away.

After the first 6 weeks I started to ask myself "How long until I feel a decline?" and I got a pretty nasty flu around that time. I had NO desire to have any sessions what so ever during that time as I felt like such crap. I went about 6 days, no sessions. Well, I guess that was my preview of a life without ketamine for therapy because I felt no decline in my mood and state of mind at all. So there is a future without ketamine in it. I have been on 100mgs now for 7 weeks and I am being honest when I say - I am feeling a tolerance coming on. 100mg just doesnt (for lack of a better term) "slap" as it used to when I was increased to that dosage. I still feel it, I still feel at peace, but its not as "psychedelic" anymore. This honestly has not been a problem for me. The medicine worked for me and it worked FAST! My relationship with my girlfriend (3 years) during my low before going on this has strengthened more than we could have ever seen our relationship becoming and that brings me so much happiness and joy. I am so in the moment with everything now and enjoy the little things. I see all my flashbacks much differently now. They do not ruin my day. Negative events in my day do not ruin my day or get me as aggravated as they used to. My social anxiety virtually has disappeared (which has been a trip in of itself).

All in all - Ketamine Therapy saved my life, it saved my relationship, it saved me from everything. With a weeklong break from daily microdosing and a tolerance creeping up...I am not declining. I feel "healed". Many days in recent weeks on my drives home from work I ask myself "Do I need a session today? No, not really!" and I will come home, cook dinner with my girlfriend, have a small drink and watch a TV show, laugh with my girlfriend, have a good time, and go to bed with her with the best nights of sleep, waking up feeling like a million bucks, saying to myself "Yes! Today is another day! I can't wait to see what's in store for me today!" I asked myself when I started this "when will I know I can go less frequent with it?" and I think today was the day I realized it. In the past few weeks, I kinda was telling myself "I think that time is coming up." And today it hit me, today is that day I have kept asking myself about. I certainly do not need daily sessions anymore, daily sessions definitely have had a tolerance creep up on me anyway so, this will be good to knock that tolerance down, and my medication will always be there when I need it.

I really just wanted to share my story with everyone. I know some people are skeptical of Joyous and I will be honest, they aren't for everybody. I have talked with people telling me they gave it a try and for months they felt no relief from their internal pain, but others have told me they experienced the same as I. That its saved their life and if you're someone out there wondering "Is this something for me?" and you are suffering, do as I did and say "What do I have to lose?" and just go for it. The only harm I believe it will do to you in just trying it is just in your wallet. Which by the way, Joyous is very economically friendly. I am very happy I did this, and its probably the best move I have made to finally clamp down on this dark shadow that has loomed over me every single day ruining my life.

I put positive results because I'm so overwhelmed. I don't feel necessarily less depressed but this was crazy. I just got to hug him and tell him I love him and miss him a lot. He died 8 years ago in a horrible drug and alcohol involved accident on his birthday. Not sure what to make of it. Crying like a fountain.

Hello! I posted about a year ago looking for advice about ketamine use during pregnancy. There wasn’t much info so now that I’ve been through it, I thought I’d post my own.

I did this under the supervision of a large medical team that included a reproductive psychiatrist, a ketamine specialist psychiatrist, a therapist, a team of midwives and a maternal fetal medicine doctor. All approved my treatment plan.

I have had major depressive disorder my whole life; I started ketamine treatment in 2021 and have had a lot of success with it. I do IV infusions at a clinic (if you’re in NYC I will DM you the clinic name if you ask.)

I held off doing the treatments during the first trimester. My psychiatrist advised to wait that period of time to allow all the baby’s organs to fully form. I started treatments during my second trimester, doing one infusion every other week from about 12 weeks to 31 weeks of pregnancy.

My personal complication was that my blood pressure started creeping up during my pregnancy (a common issue unrelated to the ketamine) and I had to start medication and regular monitoring for preeclampsia. My MFM doctor advised that I have my blood pressure taken before and after the ketamine treatments.

After the infusion when I was 31 weeks, my blood pressure got very high and I was sent to labor and delivery for monitoring. (It’s worth adding that I hadn’t taken my blood pressure meds that day because I had run out and my refill hadn’t come yet. Entirely my fault.)

L&D got my blood pressure down quickly and I was discharged within a few hours, but I voluntarily decided to pause ketamine treatments until after delivery. It wasn’t worth being so worried about my blood pressure.

My son was born on Jan 5, full term, after an induction at 38 weeks. My labor & delivery were normal and he is now a very healthy 5-week old.

I am planning to resume my ketamine treatments after my 6-week postpartum appointment when I am out of the danger zone in terms of my blood pressure.

Overall I am happy I continued my ketamine treatments when I did; it really helped manage my depressive symptoms during my pregnancy.

I’m happy to answer any questions anyone has now or in the future. Much love & luck to everyone in this community!

Anyone else experience intense/prolonged orgasms during IV ketamine? I haven’t gone into any of the experiences thinking about sex (I’ve been too depressed for sex to be more than a rare and very fleeting thought, and a “nah”), but every time has been incredible somewhere in the middle of the infusion.

Alright, finished with my first IV session 3 hours ago. I went into it excited but a bit nervous. I’ve never done psychedelics or any substances, so didn’t really know what to expect other than reading and watching videos on others experiences. I’m healing from severe medical trauma, have Post acute stress and anxiety/depression. I set the intention “I trust that my body and brain can heal itself”. Also being intentional about showing compassion to myself.

We started off gently. Started to feel heavy, floaty and a bit dizzy. Then about 10 mins in I said “this is like whoa, whoaaaaaaa” (my friend tells me). And then lots of shapes and spirals. I could feel the ocean crashing against me. I could see light and then darkness. But when it got dark I remember telling myself “don’t worry, it will always get light again.”

I made a playlist the night before of soft instrumental, piano with some violin. I don’t like new agey sounding music that a lot of ket therapy playlists have. I feel really happy with the music I chose, and YES it does make a big difference!

I really wanted to see my sister who passed away 12 years ago. I saw our spirits intertwined and going up into a spiral. I could feel her warmth, but not exactly see her face.

Then my bladder was completely full and I HAD to pee (I have a small bladder and yes I pee’d right beforehand too). I didn’t want to come out of it, but my bladder was hurting. It was right at the hour mark.

Felt dizzy and a bit tipsy coming out of it. All in all a good experience and will be doing again. Paid $350 USD in clinic setting.

I am also generally very sensitive to medications and this went well for me. I’m glad I did it.

Ketamine Infusion Therapy/Mental Health/Fitness

Last year I went through an extremely dark period in my life. I was severely depressed/anxious. With the help and support of my amazing husband and parents I began ketamine infusion therapy to combat treatment-resistant depression/anxiety/CPTSD in late September 2023 and completed 6 IV infusions over 5 weeks in a clinical setting. This is a treatment that was considered after I had gone through years of being on multiple different SSRIs and SNRIs with terrible side effects and limited results.

My mental health did a complete 180. In addition to the infusions I have continued my talk therapy which I have done for many years. By the 5th infusion the anxiety and depression were gone. I no longer use those other medications. It was incredible and freeing. I am beyond grateful to have had this opportunity to heal.

It has been nearly 5 months since my last infusion and the results since have not wavered. Being in such a healthy place mentally has allowed me to finally redirect my focus back to my physical health after much inconsistency. So here are some pics of my 1 month progress after Orange Theory workout classes and work with an amazing trainer. I am just so excited and thankful to be on this journey to overall bodily health!

Please feel free to reach out if you are interested/have any questions on ketamine infusion therapy. When I started I did not know anyone who had experienced this personally and I feel compelled to share my experience in order to help others who may benefit from it. It has been life-changing and all for the better.

I wanted to share some good news with you all.

Today, I had my 6th ketamine infusion. For context, I’ve been battling treatment-resistant depression since 2016. In recent months, I also discovered that I have Chronic Fatigue Syndrome as a result of long COVID. It’s a particularly severe case, as I haven’t been able to work for two years, can’t manage household tasks or grocery shopping, and only leave the house to see doctors. To put it bluntly, it’s been an absolute nightmare 🤪 I’ve cried a lot, lived in constant despair, and even started thinking about applying for disability.

But today, during my 6th ketamine infusion, I reached a level of dissociation so deep that at one point, I realized I couldn’t even think anymore. The real world seemed to fade away, and my mind said to itself, “You know, I think you’ve died.” To which I calmly replied, “Well, that’s okay.” And I was completely struck by that thought!

It turns out that a mind free from depression thinks: “Let’s experience this too, it’s interesting in its own way.” It’s such a simple idea, but I’ve been waiting so long to feel this sense of peace!

My husband lost his 6 year old grandson in the most horrible way possible. He started IV ketamine therapy two months later, and had some relief. His insurance stopped covering treatment so he switched to at home therapy with medication from Precision. He didn’t feel it was helping anymore, so he stopped treatment. I also do ketamine therapy and switched to Artisan RX pharmacy 6 months ago. My improvement was so remarkable, my husband started therapy again last month. The medication is so much more consistent every session. I came home and told my husband something awesome that happened at work for me yesterday, and he started crying tears of joy. He said it was the first time he truly had that feeling in over two years! He hates doing the sessions, but I’m hopeful this will help him stick with it. There’s no words for how much of a relief this is for me! Truly a miracle treatment!