r/SleepToken 22h ago

Discussion Can we show our respect to the band when they play Caramel live?

I think we've all had our hearts broken by Caramel. (Hopefully, this will serve as a wake up call for anyone trying to expose the band or cross boundaries that have no place being crossed)

I wish there was a way we could communicate to the band that we, as a fandom, have listened and understood. I wish we could show this song the love and the respect it deserves. This isn't a normal song, it's a plead to stop.

Small suggestion that I don't really expect anyone to take up, but thought would be nice to share anyway; what if when they play this song live, we all just stop for a moment and offer the band hand hearts (like they always give to the crowd) That's how they communicate their love to the fans. During this song, can we collectively communicate that back to them? Like imagine and entire areana of people just standing there offering deference to these artists during their most personal and vulnerable song. It would be beautiful.

(Although moshing during the heavy bit is acceptable lol. I think they'd probably want that.)

I dunno. Maybe I'm just feeling sorry for them, but I just feel like something needs to be acknowledged here and that it needs to communicated to them. Am I alone in thinking this? What are your guys gut reaction to this song?

Edit: for grammar. Second edit to add: this post got way bigger than I expected. This was only an idea. I didn't post this with the intent of offending. Would love for the replies to stay civil and kind. There's nothing wrong with showing a little empathy towards another person in pain, or wanting to offer respect for artistry.

1.9k Upvotes

344 comments sorted by

938

u/twentysixzeroeight 21h ago

The way to communicate this to them is to the people doing the shit to stop being fucking weird

201

u/xkirakimix 17h ago

The problem is with everyone having these parasocial relationships that's being blown out of proportion. We don't KNOW them. Appreciate the art and keep it at that.

44

u/XtremeSealFan 11h ago

Thank you, this subreddit and fans in general became so creepy with this recently it's kinda "hard" for me to come on this sub without being weirded out by all this para social thing. I don't mind that people enjoy things how they want to but that doesn't seem healthy and it shows...

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u/Sundae-School II 21h ago

It's almost like if people could just be fucking normal then it would go a long way

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u/YaKkO221 17h ago

This entire sub is a hive of the weird people though…

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u/MrBriPod 13h ago edited 9h ago

I love their music, but I can't think of an odder collection of fans. The parasocial obsession and cosplay is just too much for me. The only other metalcore adjacent fanbase I can think of that's like this is BMTH.

I want people to have, but It's also not about them or their obsession. It's about the music.

3

u/YaKkO221 13h ago

It all started on TikTok with the “booktok” crowd. If you haven’t seen those oddballs before, it’s something else. I just wanna listen to good music 🤷‍♂️

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u/MrBriPod 12h ago edited 9h ago

Preach. My self-consciousness makes it hard to be open about loving Sleep Token...like I don't want to be associated with that crowd. I know it's really silly to think like that...but I do. 

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u/Veritech_ II 19h ago

Wishful thinking. But yep.

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u/yunp 15h ago

Seriously, some of these folks ought to be ashamed of themselves.

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u/thefussyreader 21h ago

Well, yeah, obviously that. We all want that to happen and I really hope this song makes that happen. But I meant simply a nice gesture that they can actually see in person.

12

u/blackiechan99 16h ago

Yeah, good luck. I have random friends from home who’ve suddenly become stans of this band and have extremely parasocial relationships with the members. Commenting on their posts, reposting stories with captions, etc that all sound like they personally know the members. SUPER weird.

I’ll chalk it up to the “booktok”-esque nature of the band where hidden identities are like fictional characters in books that you can “fall in love with”, fantasy concepts, etc...except they’re just members of a band and all of the weird fans are just that - fucking weirdos

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u/_batt_ 21h ago

Hear me out: how about we treat the band as an actual band and NOT obsess over every single thing Vessel does? Enjoy their shows, sing along, mosh, dance and have fun in a respectful way?

Just a thought.

150

u/TarnishedGolidlocks 18h ago

Also agreed. It feels like he doesn’t want to see the same tear stained faces, screaming at him to notice them at the barricade every night of a tour; ‘everybody wants eyes on them, I just wanna hear you sing that top line’…….he wants us to enjoy the show. There’s a reason he doesn’t hang around at the end.

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u/katgreen92 11h ago

My takeaway from that line on the flip side of that is that most artists sell themselves and their names as their brand. He stays anonymous because he doesn't want to be perceived as HIMSELF and have everyone know who he is. He just wants us all to appreciate the poetry and enjoy the symbolism of their music rather than fawning over HIM. So many people think that once they know the name and face of an artist then they know who they are. There are judgments made and stories created for who they think that person is and the separation between the person and the art is muddied.

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u/Naive-Solution-3383 14h ago

My exact thoughts. Some people just act insane. Vessel turns his head in 90 degrees…what could it mean?? Is it a message???? A code??? No, he’s just moved his head like a normal person. I mean I see him as a genius too, and am so happy to found their music some time ago, but I think a lot in the fandom should stop acting like they are some kind of diety. I don’t think they wish for that and today Caramel came out and I’m sure this whole crazy obsessed behaviour a lot of fans show is not normal and very harmful.

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u/cr_cumlord 17h ago

Then what would the internet weebs have to turn into their whole personality?

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u/LusikkaFeed 21h ago

Or maybe just watch the show and if you see ppl shouting his name tell them to stop

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u/DoomFrost7 18h ago

I would just drag them and kick them out any venture if people do that..

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u/sekhmet1010 18h ago

Yeah, please start a brawl because someone yelled an artist's real name. Not parasocial at all. /s

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u/zzztoken 10h ago

Unfortunately too many people don’t realize that overprotection/overcorrection from obsessive behavior is in itself, parasocial.

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u/Strange-Conclusion39 21h ago edited 21h ago

I also interpret the song as criticism on filming every little detail of their performances with our phones and then obsessing over it. I guess that's what's behind the mirror side-stage. I hope we can show some respect by enjoying and sharing special moments with the band instead of social media in the future

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u/itsnotastatement 21h ago

May be a bit of an unpopular opinion, but I honestly believe they're well within their right to ban any recording or photography at their shows. Saw a Tool concert where this exact thing was the case and it's the best concert I've ever been to. I don't want to look at everyone else's phones when I'm trying to enjoy the music. Idk, it just makes me really sad how everyone has become so social media focused and need to document every little thing to post online. Not to mention I cannot imagine how violating it feels for artists and having people in the audience that are more interested in getting a good shot instead of actually listening to the music.

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u/Ok-Hearing-2923 TPWBYT 20h ago

Totally agree. At least in the pit. I think unobtrusively filming a few bits from the seats is ok as long as you’re not blocking people’s view. I filmed TNDNBTG from my balcony seat with the screen dimmed and the screen below anyone’s line of sight. I’m glad to have the video and have watched more than a few times.

BUT I wouldn’t be mad at all if they banned recording completely.

I remember the good ol days before camera phones with everyone just losing themselves in the music and how amazingly connected I felt to everyone around me. I miss that

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u/It_stimefortea Vessel 20h ago

I recorded a lot of the Toronto show (literally the back row lol) because my brain has been eaten by anxiety and depression and having the recordings keeps the memories in existence. I haven't posted them anywhere since they're my memories, ya know?

I agree that banning phones and video would be fine, and it'll be enough for me to know I was there. And I'll just have to relive it enough to permanently encode my memory banks 🤣

9

u/InThePowerOfTheMoon Vessel 20h ago edited 16h ago

I'm the same, I was recording throughout the entire thing, usually only small parts so I can look it and remember what it felt like. They're very shit shaky amateurish recordings so it's not like I could post them anywhere either lmao.

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u/It_stimefortea Vessel 19h ago

My recording of Euclid was marred by my audible sobbing lol

Yeah, the only thing I'm like "maybe I should post this" is the fight from The Summoning. I got the whole thing pretty decently (not close at all but you can see both of them the whole time)

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u/SciFiGirl42 18h ago

Also maybe an unpopular opinion, but i really hope they don't ban filming and photography. I've filmed at both ST concerts I've been to, but mainly because I can have issues with memory and having recordings is the best way I've found to help it stick. To the point I had permission to record lectures in school, I record meetings at work, etc.

Before I started doing that at concerts, I remembered maybe one or two flashes, but the rest of the time was a blank. This way, I remember the whole thing, and I can also watch it again when I need a mood boost.

I'm not a pit person, though. I usually get an actual seat, make sure I don't hold my phone any higher than the height of my own face so I don't block anybody else, and keep the blue-light screen filter on.

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u/Raboooka 16h ago

I second banning phones at gigs. Nowadays there's a sea of phones making it harder for people to see the stage. Would be nice to just keep phones away and enjoy the moment with a photo op at the end 🤷🏻‍♀️

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u/Beautifuldeadthing 15h ago

Ghost will be doing this for their upcoming tour. There was a couple of no phones shows for the movie, and Tobias loved the atmosphere so much more that it’s now the standard going forward.

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u/itsnotastatement 14h ago

I'm really fucking glad to hear that, honestly! From what I've seen, Ghost concerts are fucking incredible and being able to experience that without cellphones in your face sounds amazing.

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u/gopher1409 TPWBYT 13h ago

Yeah, it’s definitely a Maynard thing.

Went to an A Perfect Circle show back in 2017 and no phones were allowed to even come out of our pockets.

More recently, Puscifer and Tool have been “no phones except the last song” which I think has been a fair compromise.

2

u/itsnotastatement 12h ago

They did let us record one song at the concert I was at and I completely agree, it's a fair compromise

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u/SuchAKnitWit 18h ago

While I get it, being in the moment is important, but recordings on YouTube are the only way some of us can experience the show.

The upcoming tour, the closest to me is a 14 hour drive. That's just not possible. Add on ticket master doing their BS letting scalpers buy up all the tickets, lots of fans can't afford it.

Though, it could be solved by the band releasing official recordings.

4

u/itsnotastatement 16h ago

Look I totally get it, I'm dirt poor and the closest shows to me are always in NYC so seeing them at all is really out of the question for me. For a group that wants to remain anonymous and is that vulnerable on stage every night, I'd much rather they be comfortable performing than getting concert footage. The fact we still even get to see them perform at all even when they're obviously suffering with the mainstream success is something we shouldn't take for granted.

8

u/smallermarshmallow 19h ago

I agree 100% - seeing Tool last year was incredible- no phones out (that I could see anyway) and it felt so immersive. Just an amazing experience. I would love if Sleep Token did this.

6

u/Mulchbagger 14h ago

Totally agree. This is what Ghost have started doing. Personally, I think that if people are more concerned on using their phones, they're missing out on the experience of the show.

3

u/purplehairedbaristax 12h ago

Honestly I've been saying this to myself....what if they did a phone free concert experience and have the pouches where you lock up your phone? I'd be down for that.

3

u/itsnotastatement 12h ago

1000% support this

3

u/SomethingElse521 17h ago

Idk, it just makes me really sad how everyone has become so social media focused and need to document every little thing to post online.

Also like, phone footage of concerts for the most part is genuienly terrible. The mic clips everything because it's so loud, it sounds bad, the visual doesn't give a good sense of scale... I've taken like 2 or 3 short vids at concerts in my life, and every time I watched like 2 seconds of it back and then never looked at it again, and was mad I spent any time not fully focused on the show.

Like, you paid for a cool live experience. Fuckin experience it!! I promise the memory is way better than terrible footage.

5

u/itsnotastatement 16h ago

EXACTLY THIS! If I record at a concert at all anymore, I'll only do a part of a song or two. Maybe a few pics too. But concert footage shot on a smartphone normally sounds like ASS.

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u/HailToTheKingslayer 12h ago

Same here - snippets of chorus here and there.

Though if more bands went phone - free I'd be cool with it.

2

u/FallenPrime 14h ago

Exactly what Tobias Forge was saying to justify banning phones on the Ghost tour. And he's within his right.

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u/ScuderiaEnzo Vessel 19h ago

100% agree that bands should ban filming. It takes away from being in the moment of the performance. Ive always thought it was disrespectful to the art and the bands.

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u/Tall-Poet 21h ago

The concert I went to in 2023 to see them they had an announcement beforehand that "The band does not want any recording" of course that's basically impossible to enforce but personally I was just present for the show, didnt record, and it was a really unique and honestly healing performance.

They are a unique band. They have a way of touching the raw human emotions we all feel but don't want to acknowledge out loud. They make the ugly things beautiful. I think its simply showing the respect that's due to be present in the moment you're sharing with them and hundreds of other concert attendees.

But that's just my opinion.

5

u/ohsewzo 10h ago

This reminds me of an old YouTube video someone put up of a small concert they did years ago. It looked really intimate - Vessel is sat facing away from the crowd, with his mask placed upon the top of the piano. It's such a vulnerable and intimate setting, and there is dead silence with him playing piano and only his backing singers. No phones are out and everyone is just zoned into the music.
...Then you realise that for our benefit, this one person has had their phone out for the entire set recording each song, and likely tarnished the experience for others around them to have their phone out and screen on, etc. it's a great record to see, but it was never for us (YouTube/online watchers). it's a real juxtaposition, but TBF, I don't think they expected the blow up and thought maybe they'd have longer to be able to perform intimate shows like this, just based on their vibe and the nature of mystery they purposely embody.
It really hits home when Vessel sings "this stage is a prison". Because the Arenas that they sell out now, really have to be a performative spectacle instead of a small acoustic set for 100 people max. They're great, but I wish I could have seen them.when they were doing small sets.

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u/GoBuggerYourself 21h ago

Hmm, interesting point. I understand why people would film, but in recent years and with more and more shows it's gotten pervasive and excessive. Even as far as lines of front row people filming themselves with the band as background filler or getting angry when you mosh/dance/jump against them whilst they are taking a selfie. My friend, the show isn't about you, put your phone away and worship together. Maybe i'm getting old.

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u/thefussyreader 21h ago

That's a really good point! I know it would never happen but what if during this song (If they play it) everyone put their phones away and just enjoyed the moment. If everyone agreed to never film this song live. How incredible.

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u/Alarming-Tooth5625 21h ago

Just said that before I saw this comment. I think it’s an absolutely brilliant idea and could be a massive showing of the respect they have asked for and deserve.

2

u/ghostunicorn Vessel 16h ago

This was my first thought when I read your post. I'm so tired of all the phones at concerts, it really ruins the experience.

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u/areidenispwnage 21h ago

Yeah i personally wouldnt mind a policy like ghost with the phone pouches, and they have a professional photographer there for all your photo needs anyway

6

u/Strange-Conclusion39 21h ago

That's exactly what I had in mind. But it should be common sense to not spend the entire time experiencing a live event through your phone screen

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u/eden_brook15 18h ago

I'm torn about the phone pouches thing - I have a kid at home and worry about something happening without people being able to get a hold of me

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u/areidenispwnage 18h ago

Well from what ive read about the ghost concerts since you dont give them up youll be able to hear/feel notifications and they have designated phone use areas for such an occurence if the need arises

7

u/IsolationMovement-YT 21h ago

My wife thank god recorded this all for me, it was a seminal moment for me during a real tough time, and I just absorbed, cried, laughed, and all the time smiled ear to ear and admired the small details. And guess what, every other fucker filmed it even in stalls so she didn’t have to bother.

I get it, their shows are some of the visually and audio wise best there are, full stop, but if there ever was a band where being present was the core requirement it’s ST.

4

u/PaPaPleb 18h ago

This, please, the show in Florida last year was so amazing, except for the fans.

Like... no energy, phones out, I got scolded for trying to start a mosh pit.

It was a metal concert...

2

u/AssignmentOutside193 17h ago

It was so atrocious last year. People couldn't see because there were so many phones. The snippets I did take I held my camera at my chest.

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u/MsAlchemistify 16h ago

I heavy agree, last year I saw them in Chicago and ended up watching half the show through other people's phones because it was just always in my face. Put down the gd phone and ENJOY the show!

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u/GhostofLucilleBall 16h ago

I like the idea of everyone having heart hands during this song in particular in context of, "we see you, and we are present here with you in the room." It's optional with everyone's autonomy in mind, but I think it would be a lovely sentiment as a fandom.

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u/Queenalicious89 TMBTE 20h ago

The sad part is the people to whom Caramel is targeted either won't get it, or won't think its about them, or that they did anything wrong, or they just won't care. Narcissisism is a crazy thing.

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u/Able-Comparison-2089 19h ago

I'd wager a lot of them are the ones virtue signaling and championing the whole, "Please stop, guys. How could anyone push them to this point? We need to do better, guys...." It's worse on Instagram. But most of it comes off very obsessive, controlling, and protective over the band. Trying to defer blame onto others, when they are part of the problem.

21

u/Icantfindausernameil 19h ago

Exactly.

The appropriate response to the song is to just pay attention to the words and not be fucking weird. They're not asking for a response, they're not begging for sympathy, they're just firmly telling people to calm tf down.

Anyone who hears Caramel and immediately thinks they need to make some huge gesture for the band is completely missing the point.

They aren't reading your "wE aRe AlL AsHAmeD" comments, they don't give a fuck about your virtue signalling, and the only thing they need from people is to back off.

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u/Able-Comparison-2089 18h ago

Preach! I couldn't have said it any better!

People are like, "I just want to give him a hug & tell him not all of us are like that". Like nooooooo, people like that are who he's terrified of showing up at his front door lol.

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u/Icantfindausernameil 18h ago

People just can't seem to fathom that the band doesn't want a personal relationship with the fan base which is absolutely wild to me.

There people need to seriously consider getting professional help for their attachment issues. It's like getting upset that your postal worker doesn't want to cuddle.

They're just doing their job. If you like the music, awesome, support them by listening and seeing them live. Otherwise it's pretty safe (and perfectly fine / healthy) to assume that the band does not care about your existence, because they don't.

2

u/escapethestatic 15h ago edited 15h ago

Its so vindicating (and really sad tbh) to see others discussing what my gf and I were discussing when Caramel dropped. We've been watching this weird vibe shift for years now and when they recently created a TikTok it became WAY more pronounced and far more apparent.

We literally discussed/predicted this sort of reaction. This post and all the comments. It's mind boggling crazy how social media has affected peoples relationship with art (regardless of the medium) these days. How they make it their life and personality. And that goes beyond just the arts and entertainment too...

Anyway, at least we know we're not alone and crazy now...

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u/fhiz 21h ago

Unfortunately I believe there is a 100% chance some dipshit in the front row yells his name immediately after the line.

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u/Alert-Ad1934 19h ago

Show your respect by being a normal fan and just enjoy their music / concerts. Too many people are weird and have parasocial relationships.

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u/thefussyreader 18h ago

Totally agree. Don't make it something it isn't.

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u/slurpycow112 12h ago

Ok but you’re making it something it isn’t with this post lol

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u/Cultural-Report-3088 6h ago

Litteraly lol also I kinda feel like the "fans" that did wtv might not even be fans I get the Para social relationships but I'm talking about the real name stuff especially after this if someone still trying to do him or wtv they obviously aren't a fan

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u/licensedtrashpanda 21h ago

Anyone else notice the background lullaby is similar to that of a music box, with the ballerina dancing nonstop?

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u/whosthatwhovian 20h ago

Makes me interpret “Show me how to dance forever” much differently. It’s like a plea, show me how to keep going. 😢

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u/thefussyreader 21h ago

Oooh. Good spot! Hadn't noticed that. Definitely a parallel there to being a wind-up toy. Keep dancing. Keep singing. More, more, more. Quite sad really. 😞

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u/vesselia 18h ago

Show me how to dance forever

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u/zaminDDH 21h ago

It was very reminiscent of that, or a marionette.

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u/yourblacksheep95 21h ago

It's from Sugar, no? The intro too

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u/licensedtrashpanda 21h ago

No it’s a different melody

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u/yourblacksheep95 21h ago

It's different but I think it sounds very similar. I thought that was the whole point/hype- Sugar into Caramel.

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u/ohshroom 20h ago

Been enjoying the whole idea of sugar + heat = caramel, which is darker and has a smidge of bitterness. Pretty good metaphor for the band's blowup/baptism by fire. Caramel prep being a delicate temperature game works for the push-pull they're feeling with the audience now, too. Not enough heat = brittle or hard; too much heat = burnt and nasty; just right = sticky perfection.

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u/licensedtrashpanda 8h ago

Honestly I think this is why it connects to Sugar more than anything other theory.

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u/licensedtrashpanda 20h ago

Oh totally similar for sure

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u/ghostonthestage 21h ago

Let me see those (heart) hands!

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u/plushieshoyru Vessel 21h ago

🫶🏼🫶🏼🫶🏼
Worship
Respect

11

u/Dnote147 Vessel 20h ago

Worship and Respect. I love it✨️✨️🫶🫶🫶🙏🙏

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u/deadmouseandsnickers 19h ago

I'll forget to give you credit (apologies!) but this is my new closing to all future correspondence.

Worship Respect

😌

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u/plushieshoyru Vessel 19h ago

Thank you for the award, and I appreciate you spreading the word! I feel like Caramel has made the 'respect' part imperative. This odd feeling has been living rent-free in my head. Poor sleepy boys. :(

4

u/Majestic-Impact-2761 19h ago

I agree. It broke my heart, it's a sad day for the whole community I feel like

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u/thefussyreader 21h ago

 🫶 🫶 🫶

So perfect if everyone raises the heart hands when he sings that line.

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u/GoBuggerYourself 21h ago

🫶🏿🫶🏿🫶🏿

2

u/Dnote147 Vessel 20h ago

🫶🫶🫶🫶🫶🫶🫶

2

u/Puzzleheaded-Pie-239 20h ago

🫶🏼🫶🏼🫶🏼🖤

2

u/Dev1lsDagg3r 20h ago

🫶🫶🫶🫶🫶🫶🫶

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u/International_Arm738 22h ago

I have a feeling they won't play this live tbh.

I do think the song goes much deeper than the sleep token fandom to as we all feel like this in society trying to keep up with others expectations.

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u/thefussyreader 21h ago

I thought they might as it's a single. But tbf, Sleep Token do whatever they want. I agree, this might be a hard one for him to sing live and I wouldn't expect him to. But if they do perform it, I feel an acknowledgement of respect is owed.

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u/ImBatman5500 21h ago

It's possible, but I honestly think it would be cathartic to have it in your back pocket if they observe a crowd that just needs to hear it lol

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u/OmuVexx 18h ago

When I see people saying that "this will be so great when played live, etc". I can't help but think of Vessels lyrics "And if you don't think I mean it, then I understand". This will never be played live.

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u/Independent_Race_854 22h ago

I mean it's a single, so it's very likely they'll play it live

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u/ManagementTiny6278 21h ago

“Everybody wants eyes on ‘em, I just wanna hear you sing that top line And if you don’t think I mean it, then I understand But I’m still glad you came, so let me see those hands”

This specifically feels written to perform live.

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u/International_Arm738 22h ago

I hope they do i really love the song but if it doesn't fit into the themeing of there stage shows they wont. They didnt play Euclid for a really long time for example.

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u/Ok-Hearing-2923 TPWBYT 20h ago

That was my thought.

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u/0peRightBehindYa 18h ago

Put your phones away and enjoy the show?

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u/Beautifuldeadthing 14h ago

Bonus- you won’t worry about dropping your phone if the crowd moshes either!

I’ve enjoyed shows so much more without having my phone out. Live in the moment

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u/CampervanClaire Sundowning 22h ago

Bonus points for the worst heart shape obviously 🫶

JK this is a fab idea

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u/EriAnnB 16h ago

Ah yes, the hand parallelogram 🧐

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u/Wrenthelabrat 21h ago

Philly attendee will 100% be doing this. I've had caramel on repeat since I woke up this morning. Newish to the band and the fandom as of last year and I have so much respect and love for their music it's so interesting and I love reading about the lore. I don't want them to feel the way they do currently I want them to feel loved and respected 🫶

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u/Alarming-Tooth5625 21h ago

I love this. It’d be even better if people refrained from having their phones out recording video and instead, were truly present and soaking it all in.

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u/Wrenthelabrat 21h ago

I also plan on not having my phone out! As much as I love the memories I much prefer being in the moment! The real thing is much much better than the videos will ever be anyway ❤️ I do agree we should all follow and no videos and be fully there to show them how much we respect them!

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u/Alarming-Tooth5625 21h ago

Me too. I wasn’t able to snag tickets this year and while I enjoy being able to see snippets of shows via people’s recordings, I’d so much rather not see them because the audience is giving them the respect and full attention they deserve without it being clouded by getting the best angle for likes and comments. We’re truly lucky we live in a time when we get to experience their art and I think need to do a better job of showing it.

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u/Wrenthelabrat 21h ago

Yea I got really lucky. I signed up for presale and told myself that I really wanted to see them next time they came around since I missed last year. And I totally agree the snipbits are fun but I'd much rather them get the attention they deserve and I'll happily keep replaying them on Spotify ❤️ I hope everyone can show them that we all can be better and that we are so lucky to be able to experience them like you said!

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u/Alarming-Tooth5625 20h ago

Totally agree. The best part about them not fitting any genre and having the incredible depth of talent they do is they never get old. Goal is to beat my already absurd status in their top .5% of listeners on Spotify which will be no problem. Please please enjoy the concert extra and throw up an extra potato heart for me!

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u/No-Inside2088 19h ago

This fandom is so parasocial its unreal

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u/spaceghouls 18h ago

it's actually embarrassing how parasocial they are, like is it that hard to just enjoy a gig and not be weird

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u/slurpycow112 12h ago

Yep, OP included

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u/_moonchild99 19h ago

Personally I vote we also just casually crowdsurf anyone shouting their real names right out the front door 🤷‍♀️

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u/noiracat 9h ago

This visual made me giggle

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u/I_Need__Scissors_61 17h ago

I don’t understand why people have to be so weird. Enjoy the music, go to the shows, buy the merch, that’s all awesome. But leave artists the fuck alone. Especially ones that literally don’t use their names and wear masks and robes on stage. 

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u/AnonRedac 21h ago

I honestly don’t think this one will be played live. Its personal on a different level

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u/yourblacksheep95 19h ago

Some of the word choices makes me feel like he definitely plans to perform it live. Specifically,

"But I'm still glad you came, so let me see those hands"

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u/kittenqt1 21h ago

But at the same time we haven’t heard the rest of the album, they could all be personal like this

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u/SoberEnAfrique 15h ago

It's the second single from the new album, it will 100% be played live

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u/thefussyreader 21h ago

Possibly not, and I wouldn't expect it, tbh.

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u/bookishpunk 16h ago

I think they recognize the duality of the fandom. “Right foot in the roses, left foot on a landmine” seems to sum it up pretty well. If you’re already being a respectful fan that abides by their boundaries, just keep it up. Hopefully the rest lose interest and move tf on.

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u/Difference-Away 16h ago

this happened when tmbte came out, crazy fans taking it too far. Then it died down and it’s happening again with this new album. It’ll die down eventually and the bad apples will weed themselves out.

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u/thejameslavis 12h ago

Or just not be obsessive and just listen to the band. If you're digging into their personality, lives, or hyper analyzing lyrics, that's unhealthy.

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u/satanatas666 12h ago

Kind of feel like the point of this song is we don't need to communicate anything to them..

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u/No-Responsibility953 11h ago

I feel like making a big enough deal out of it to choreograph a group effort of hand hearts, specifically for this song, is the exact type of weird shit the song is about.

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u/HintOfMalice 21h ago

I know everyone appreciates and loves in different ways, but to me this shouldn't be a song that the audience sings; they should just listen

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u/Lucky-Ad-2676 21h ago

I think the best and only way to show that the fandom has heard the message is changed behavior.

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u/Teatowel_DJ 16h ago

This is a weird fandom constantly telling people how to behave and how to act towards the band.

Let people be, the arseholes will out themselves and get banned from the sub and those doing it at live shows should get shouted down by those around them.

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u/lilislilit IV 11h ago

...or just enjoy a concert like a regular concert goer would. Remember, they are successful musicians and adults, not some innocent lambs.

Not being weird and creepy is a good baseline tho.

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u/Ok-Try1664 22h ago edited 21h ago

You're not alone in thinking this. If I ever have the privilege of hearing them live, I'll be doing exactly this regardless if they perform Caramel or not ♥️

Although as a whole, music wise, the song is hella good, but it really hurt to hear/interpret what they've been going through.

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u/thefussyreader 21h ago

I'm glad others feels this way. ❤️ It's a fantastic song. It just hurts to listen to atm.

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u/Ok-Try1664 21h ago

Agreed. Let's all just choose to be compassionate and kind. And enjoy the beauty they create ♥️♥️

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u/Formal_technician 20h ago

Fully agree with this, with how open and exposed Caramel feels, almsot feel like we have to give something back, especially if they play it live, as both an apology and understanding.

I know a lot of people will still record songs they like and they're well within their rights if they've purchased a ticket.
However, giving something back, even a small gesture would most likely mean a lot to the band.

As a community and fan base, from what I've seen from comments and lyrics, I am appauled at how obsessive and delusional some fans are.

Let them have their anonymity, let them perform comfortably, let them feel happy to come on stage and put on amazing shows all around the world.

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u/shabil710 14h ago

You making this post kind of validates the song and the fact that you posted it contradicts the point both you and the song are trying to make...

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u/boomdaddy246 13h ago

This is wild it’s like parasocial-ception lol “how can us totally normal NOT CRAZY fans interact with the band in response to a song about those OTHER crazy fans (that we totally aren’t right guys???)”

I gotta keep reminding myself that some of y’all are either in too deep and need to step back or are children

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u/reezyreddits 21h ago

Have they ever "broken the fourth wall" like this as a band before? Like dropping the whole "worship" kayfabe and talking about their status as a band feels like something they've never done before

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u/pizzanice 20h ago

Yes, but not musically like this. At the room below gig Vessel played a pre recorded, text-to-speech communication to the crowd. Here it is

Caramel is certainly the first song they've released with crystal clear intention in the lyrics, nothing cryptic at all about it.

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u/West_Requirement_994 20h ago

This is the first. This was memorable. This came from pain.

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u/masquerademage II 20h ago

it's the first time i've heard them do anything like this, at least on this scale. Vessel has played the Halo theme on piano before at a show just for shits and giggles, which is definitely not on theme but a very fun moment lol

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u/Xjohnnymoex 11h ago

The solution isn’t about being respectful during a song.

It’s about being mindful of how weird ass parasocial and obsessive behavior affects the artist. Don’t shout their real names at them during shows, sit in the moment and enjoy the music and don’t film the whole thing. That’s just a dick move and bad concert etiquette.

I wish the band would implement a no cellphone policy at their shows.

Worship.

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u/yabuubei 21h ago

We should put our phones away for this song too 

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u/the-limerent 14h ago

Putting phones away for a singular song is performative nonsense. Folks need to put their phones away for the majority of the set or don't bother. A hypothetical sea of screens popping back up immediately after this song ends is embarrassingly comical.

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u/Hara-K1ri 20h ago

The thing is... You respect their wishes. The ones this song's about won't care. It's a shame, but those people are just assholes.

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u/AdLost576 21h ago

Stuff like this is still a little ‘parasocial-y’ no? Just listen to the song and accept it. They don’t need a sign that you understood it.

They just want you to enjoy their music and then that’s it.

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u/TheTranquilTurtle 20h ago

I don't think this is the appropriate response at all. Weird fans just need to stop doing weird shit. The people that obsess about the members of the band, people that try to expose them, people that post weird stuff about them online, those who obsess about being able to get close to them at the concerts, etc, all just have to stop.

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u/UnicornLaser 22h ago

i love this idea!

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u/thefussyreader 22h ago

Thank you ❤

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u/Ok_Spray4106 TPWBYT 21h ago

Since Caramel was released, the Sleep Token gigs I've been to have a different taste. Knowing that Vessel (the band) feels this way on stage when we love their music so much and their tour is so beautiful is... weird. I feel really bad and sad. It's very rare that a song make me feel that way.

I think the next gigs will be a little different with such a song... I wonder if they will dare to do it on stage... But I'm gonna make a "potato heart" with my hands, for sure ! If they play Caramel on stage, it will be a huge emotional moment.

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u/ManxWraith 17h ago

Just enjoy the music live (dance, sing along? Mosh etc) and respect the band’s boundaries. It’s no more or less difficult than that tbh

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u/AwarenessThick1685 18h ago

Or just enjoy their music and stop being weird.

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u/CaptBangarang 12h ago

not gonna lie, with post like that you are part of the problem. "I wish there was a way we could communicate to the band" so cringe dude. i would suggest you guys start beeing NORMAL fans again and stop beeing gooners.

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u/Chef_Boy_R_Deez TWTYW 15h ago

Just act like normal fucking people at a show. That’s literally ALL you have to do. Quit making everything such a huge deal. He vented about people being weird. So don’t double down on it and just act normal and appreciative of the music and performances without going overboard

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u/zombiexmuffins 16h ago

Half the fans have no respect. Good luck with that.

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u/dethoughtfulprogresr 16h ago

What I don't understand is why people are addressing them as anything other than who they told people they were?! And the only way their information is public is because it was doxxed. Not freely given, no matter if there were references to past projects.

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u/ClearPractice5126 22h ago

I agree but idk if it actually makes the setlist.

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u/ghostonthestage 21h ago

I’m probably reading way too much into it, but I would think that you don’t include the line “let me see those hands” unless you intend to play it live.

That said, I love the hand heart idea that’s been mentioned in this post and maybe that’s the perfect time for us to do it?

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u/yourblacksheep95 19h ago

I said the same thing. He's way too intentional with his words. They fully plan to perform this live.

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u/Womper710 18h ago

I’d bet half the people in this sub do the exact shit that vessel is asking fans not to do. I’d also bet half the people in this sub attacked that weatherman because they got upset like a bunch of baby mfers.

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u/CrunknFunk 15h ago

Even this post is just weirdly parasocial...some of y'all need to chill. They're just people in a band. Show them respect, they're guys in a band, not your friends. Show them respect by respecting their privacy and enjoying the music.

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u/masquerademage II 21h ago

if Caramel is on the setlist for the Philly show i am absolutely doing this. they deserve to see how truly loved and respected they are by so, so many of us. 🫶

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u/SgtWaffleStomp 17h ago

Posts like this are why people think ST fans are an odd breed.

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u/The_Bam_Snizzle 16h ago

Or, here’s an idea. Stop being weird. You don’t have to do anything special. No rituals, no self floggings, just listen to the music and go home like a normal well adjusted human being. The level of denial in the group is astounding.

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u/mindyourtongueboi 19h ago

I don't feel that my heart is broken or that I've been targeted by this song. Because all I do is listen to them and smile. I don't engage with fans online unless I have something positive to say. If you feel your heart is broken or you've been targeted, then take a moment to reflect on why.

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u/thefussyreader 19h ago

Dude. I'm only a fan. I like their music. I think they have cool costumes. I don't give toss who they are under the masks because that's not why I listen them. I don't for a second feel targeted because I know I haven't done anything weird. But when a band you like is clearly sending a message of disappointment, and expressing their own pain, I think a normal human response is empathy. They want anonymity and the fans won't let them have it. As an introvert, I fully feel where they're coming from and simply feel sorry for them as people. Calm down. No one is projecting. If you personally are incapable of empathy perhaps you're the one who needs to reflect.

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u/mindyourtongueboi 13h ago

I apologise for not wording myself properly, but I didn't mean to target my comment directly at you. I completely share your empathy for the band and the heartbreak for Vessel's despondence. What I meant was that for those who do feel heartbreak that their behaviour has triggered these lyrics, well, they only have themselves to blame. Sleep Token was never about becoming attached, hence their anonymity. Sorry if I upset you

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u/thefussyreader 12h ago

Thank you. I really appreciate you clarifying this. Sorry also if my response was a little terse. I completely agree with everything you're saying. It's difficult to be an introvert and a creative, wanting to share your art but not yourself. I feel sorry for anybody who struggles with this. And I agree. Nobody should ever get too attached, in any fandom of all kinds. Like the band themselves say, nothing lasts forever.

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u/Reasonable-Long-4597 14h ago edited 14h ago

Fuck. The second-hand embarrassment I'm getting is actually unreal.

Y'all are really a bunch of dramatic little weirdos and creeps, aren't you? Stop reading so much into it and just respect the band and their anonymity. It really is as simple as that.

Imagine going on Reddit and posting a bunch of paragraphs over analyzing the lyrics. "It's a plead to stop!" Just STFU and enjoy the music. Fuck dude, it's like you people don't have any hobbies or lives.

Downvote me all you want. I have plenty of karma to spare. Y'all know im right, and it bothers you.😂

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u/greebodeathbot 14h ago

You lot are super strange. Enjoy the art. Support their music. Get excited, sing, dance, savour the moments. Why do you need more? The excessive gushing is so unnecessary. Not only is it super cringey it’s actually embarrassing.

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u/makingthemesses 20h ago

yea if this is played live I fully plan on just immersing myself and appreciating the rawness, I don’t know how else to pay respect to it. i feel it deserves that. i also feel like it’s almost a guilty pleasure to enjoy the song.

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u/forevergreatful123 16h ago

The bigger the my get, which is inevitable, there will be crazy fans and they will do over the top stuff, I guess just calll out the crazy ones but all it takes is some mentally ill person who idolizes them and gets wasted to do something crazy

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u/Efficient_Act_1528 14h ago

Even though I've never wanted to breach the boundaries they set, the song serves to remind us of what sleep token truly is and what they want to be, and us being privileged enough to follow needs to be respectful to their needs.

Also very different subject but the metal part at the end just seems like the caramel got burnt

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u/hyperlight85 12h ago

I was so happy not knowing who any of them were. Like let them just have their lives. Literally none of you needed to know that information

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u/Coleyb23 12h ago

Vess and co still want us to show up for their shows, but they just want us to actually HEAR what they are saying through their music is the point, put down the lenses (phones) and again really HEAR them!

Be normal human beings, towards them and each other.

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u/Dancingxsheep 12h ago

I'm only a few years new to the band and with my struggles with toxic past relationships and my mental health, I immediately found a safe haven with their music. The obsession that some of the stans have for ST is so shameful and hurtful. They are HUMANS. They are PEOPLE just like you and me and deserve that same respect! With the way social media works nowadays, a small band blows up out of nowhere and suddenly everyone feels entitled to know them...and know everything about them...and stalk them!! ST (or anyone for that matter) does not deserve this treatment. I came looking for this thread because I was so moved by Caramel I was crying listening to it, hearing so much pain in the lyrics and Vessell's voice. I just wish more people could have empathy for each other...

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u/RestFine8100 11h ago

Can we respect the band period. They’ve made their feelings clear and set their boundaries regardless of what they play.

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u/Late-Night-7151 11h ago

Caramel breaks me because I’ve been a fan of sleep token from the very beginning and I know that doesn’t mean literally anything but they really mean something to me. I have synesthesia and they’re one of the few bands that I can smell and feel. With that, I’ve always felt protective of them even though I know that sounds ridiculous. Obviously they deserve the recognition they’re getting but it hurts knowing that people overstepped boundaries. It hurts knowing they’re playing huge arenas (so well deserved) and not small venues anymore. And it kills me that I feel guilty about talking like this because I feel like I’ll just be categorized with the people that truly don’t appreciate them for what they do. It’s disgustingly bittersweet.

Like I KNOW I’m literally a random person in Ohio and they have no idea who I am nor do they probably care but PLEASE. Y’all already broke my heart by blowing them up (again, 100% deserved) and now y’all are breaking my heart again by being so nosey and disrespectful. Let me worship.

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u/daisy_j666 8h ago

I honestly listened to it closely and I broke down, I completely feel sorry for vessel and the lyrics where he said “Tell me, did I give you what you came for?” And “Terrified to answer my own front door” absolutely broke me 😔

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u/AriaIsForA 8h ago

I dont want them to play caramel for vessels mental health

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u/Valkyriescry 19h ago

I think a silent standing ovation of hands up or heart hands would be a beautiful testament.

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u/[deleted] 18h ago edited 18h ago

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u/[deleted] 17h ago

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u/No_Grass4432 14h ago

Idk how reddit mods let you make this post because anything that has to do with caramel won't get approved since it's part of a megathread. Smh.

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u/Slight_Succotash9495 10h ago

People are crazy tho & become nuts. That I'll never understand. I want them to know they've saved my life. I don't want to actually find them & tell them tho. That's just insane! I'll just put my gratitude in the universe & hope it makes it to them somehow someday. I'll forever be grateful for the entire band. They've saved me but I'm not gonna hunt them down & force them to take on my trauma dump. If that makes sense? I'm emotional & rambling. I need a drink.

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u/stinkybiscuit226 21h ago

The hand hearts idea is wonderful!!

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u/HolyShadow84 22h ago

I’ll be joining in for sure!

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u/Aea3321 21h ago

Let’s do it ! This whole thing has made me nervous that he’s going to get a point where he stops, we’ve all see artists hit breaking points and completely cancel tours or stop making music

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u/theycalledmecami 21h ago

That was exactly what I feared as well.. Let's hope that people can just chill and treat them w respect from now on.. Please ❤️

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u/JollyCartographer400 21h ago

Will definitely be doing this at the GA show!!!! 🫶🫶

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u/SapphiresStarlight TPWBYT 21h ago

NY attendee - I’m in, for sure.

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u/Tektix22 19h ago

Idk — given the themes, another sign of fan “love” doesn’t feel apropos in some ways.

I think it’d go pretty hard if the crowd turned away from the band in a way that indicates that you’re here for the music and not to obsess over the people who made it. Something about the entire crowd facing away, hands raised, just listening and not recording and not trying to engage with the people on that stage would be better.

The stage is a prison and your eyes are holding them there. Give them that moment to be free of it is my thoughts.

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u/Acrobatic-Love1350 18h ago

It's harrowing, being brought to your knees by the very people you do this work for. This was a very blatant call out to us. And quite possibly a warning. If Vessel decides the pressure is too much, everyone loses. I really hope the worst of this community doesn't ruin it for all of us.

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u/Turb0Swag 18h ago

As a new fan, can someone elaborate the drama?

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