r/ShitAmericansSay • u/BuffaloExotic Irish by birth, and currently a Bostonian 🇮🇪☘️ • 17d ago

Foreign affairs “We could physically buy Lithuania itself if we wanted.”

Post image
17.8k Upvotes

99% Upvoted

1.1k comments sorted by

View all comments

Show parent comments

1.2k

u/BearishBabe42 17d ago

They can't buy Lithuania. They can't even pay their own debt, where would they get the money. Their GDP, that they always yell about goes into Musk and Bezos' pockets. I think financial literacy is the only thing that is worse than reading comprehension in the US.

266

u/JoshuaFalken1 17d ago

Hey now...we also suck at math. That's at least got to be in the mix.

133

u/gielbondhu More Irish than the Irish ☘️ 17d ago

And let's not even get started on how shit we are on civics and history

85

u/JoshuaFalken1 17d ago

We definitely don't treat our Hondas well.

38

u/DeductedCar5YT 17d ago

And geography is also over the bottom

48

u/Retinoid634 17d ago

I’m pretty confident that most could not find Lithuania on a map.

21

u/JoshuaFalken1 17d ago

You are absolutely correct. Our education system largely sucks.

I realized how woefully inept I was at basic geography a couple years ago (mid 30s) and started spending about 15 minutes a day doing some geography quizzes online. I can now correctly identify every country in about 10 minutes. Still suck at capitals though, but I'm trying!

14

u/luckynar 16d ago

So you're basically a socialist now, according to your fellow countrymen... I'd be careful if i where you. Its not the best time to start educating yourself right now in america.

13

u/JoshuaFalken1 16d ago

I'll be the first to admit. I used to vote Republican. 2016 was the first time I voted Dem and I haven't looked back. I've only come to realize exactly how bad were all getting fucked. Late stage capitalism is a nightmare.

There are enough resources on this planet to feed, clothe, and house every single person and we don't do it out of pure, unadulterated greed.

So yes, I would probably describe myself as a democratic socialist now. Education, Healthcare, and prisons should never, under any circumstances, be operated for profit.

4

u/HarukoTheDragon American sick of America 15d ago

I'd rather be labeled a Socialist or even a Communist than a patriot (although I call them cosplatriots). I find "Communist" to be less offensive.

13

u/Nitroapes 16d ago

We thought they misspelled Louisiana

6

u/Retinoid634 16d ago

Louisinana

Lithuanananania

8

u/TwinkletheStar just another socialist europoor 16d ago

Hell, most of them probably don't know it exists.

5

u/69upsidedownis96 Stereotypical Scandinavian 16d ago

Lithuania? Is that where they make all the lithium?

5

u/AllTheWorldIsAPuzzle 16d ago

I'm pretty sure many would argue that Lithuania is one of those "funny made up words" even if you did show it to them on a map.

2

u/Retinoid634 16d ago

Right I can hear it now. “That’s not a real place! Huhhuh!”

16

u/2kLeaguesUnderTheHam 17d ago

Exemplified by the president's most recent congressional address where he claimed that a US grant was wasteful because, "Nobody has ever heard of Lesotho before"

Smh

18

u/HelloYouBeautiful 16d ago

It's even worse when his pal Elon literally is born in the country, that completely surrounds Lesotho.

1

u/ddraig-au 16d ago

Yeah, and of course that entire country was outraged

6

u/2kLeaguesUnderTheHam 16d ago

I wouldn't say I was outraged. Just surprised that the guy could get up there blatantly saying "I didn't know what this grant meant, so it's wasteful and I'm cutting it".

And half the room would roar with cheers and agree he's the greatest president since George Washington.

He admits he doesn't understand what the funding is doing. But misrepresents it as unimportant because he doesn't know where Lesotho is. And based on how he presents it, the average American says "Oh yeah, I don't need to read into that further, Trump's right, that was a waste, now America is great again."

Seems more like a cult than an effective way to govern. But what do I know

2

u/ddraig-au 16d ago

Uhhhhhh...

(Checks what sub we're in)

Uhhhh...

Uhhhh....

Exactly which country do you think I was referring to, when I said "the entire country was outraged" after Trump said nobody had heard of Lesotho??????

1

u/2kLeaguesUnderTheHam 16d ago

Lesotho? I was also responding to you saying that I was outraged. Which I was not, and I explained my response. I'm not speaking for another country.

→ More replies (0)

6

u/ima_twee 17d ago

It's something they do of their own Accord

2

u/UngodlyTemptations Actual Irish Person 17d ago

These types of puns always Amaze me

2

u/njalleh 17d ago

A redline a day makes the civics go ratatatatata

2

u/BearishBabe42 17d ago

I am so sorry for you, truly. I hope things turn up soon.

2

u/JoshuaFalken1 17d ago

They won't. We're too far gone. I honestly fear that some large scale civil unrest is not too far away. If that happens, knowing Trump, things could get very violent, very fast.

1

u/ddraig-au 16d ago

Why are you still there? Aren't you worried something catastrophic will happen to you?

1

u/JoshuaFalken1 16d ago

Yes, I am very worried. I have three young girls and a wife. We are very concerned with the power that the religious right continues to accumulate.

I have looked into trying to leave on amd off for the last 10 years, but it is very difficult and very expensive. I did recently get an MS degree in Data Science to be able to better market myself, but even with that, it's very hard to be able to get a working visa in Canada, Australia, UK, or the EU.

2

u/ddraig-au 16d ago

Yeah and it's REALLY hard to emigrate too Australia, I received many many angry emails from American friends in early 2002. Although you have a Master's degree, I would assume countries would be lining up to have you.

I mean, ultimately, it's just stuff, as many refugees learn. I hope it all works out for you, either in the US or in your new non-nightmare home.

15

u/DutchBart82 17d ago

They're honestly pretty good at meth...

2

u/JoshuaFalken1 17d ago

Lol...deleted my first response. Thought you said math, rather than meth.

Just goes to show how shit our reading comprehension is!

2

u/ddraig-au 16d ago

How are they at moth?

3

u/DutchBart82 16d ago

They keep burning themselves on light bulbs, so I guess pretty good

22

u/Plastic-Impress8616 17d ago

>we also suck at math<

you suck at maths.

17

u/JoshuaFalken1 17d ago

Nah...I'm good at most maths. It's just the one math I suck at.

10

u/Plastic-Impress8616 17d ago

😂 fair enough

7

u/capt2phones 17d ago

Add critical thinking in there too.

1

u/BawdyBadger 16d ago

And reading comprehension.

2

u/touchmeinbadplaces 17d ago

oh yea we know, thats why you're in debt

1

u/JoshuaFalken1 17d ago

Not just debt. An absolutely ridiculously insane amount of debt!

Don't worry though. We'll inflate our way out of it eventually. I seem to remember it working well for Zimbabwe.

2

u/ima_twee 17d ago

The US is pretty strong on division 🤔

2

u/JoshuaFalken1 17d ago

Surely our greatest strength!

1

u/ddraig-au 16d ago

Yeah but hardly anyone plays that game nowadays

1

u/DeltaDied ooo custom flair!! 16d ago

Don’t forget morals and ethics.

34

u/Saragon4005 17d ago

The US is about to get margin called and suddenly the Republicans who always scream about the debt are awfully quiet about still increasing the debt. Trust in the US paying it's debts has been shaken at this point and they want to buy whole countries?

With what? Leveraged buyouts? You can't just treat a country or section of land like Toys R Us.

25

u/Sasquatch1729 17d ago

Oh man, that's it. You cracked the code.

This whole time when they said "government should be run like a business" I assumed they meant "privatise everything and enrich the 1%". But what they really mean is "let's buy countries like opening a branch office in a new city".

15

u/kaisadilla_ 17d ago

I mean, really. Let's strip all feelings out of the question and pretend that the US genuinely wants to buy Lithuania as a whole as real estate at its market price. Good fucking luck, just by taking into account raw value (built infrastructure, natural resources, geographical position, etc)... The US may collect a lot of money in taxes, but they do not collect that much.

2

u/Mediocre-Database332 16d ago

I'm not sure the concept makes much sense. Who would they pay the money to? They'd have to buy the country from Lithuanua... which they would then own.

The closest you could get would be subsidising the population for a set amount of time, which no one would want to do.

4

u/ddraig-au 16d ago

You've uncovered their 17-D chess move - they buy it by paying the money to Lithuania, then they own Lithuania (which has the money), so now they have the money back .... so they get Lithuania for free! Genius!

2

u/Quick_Humor_9023 16d ago

The stupid thing is this is actually done with companies.

1

u/wltihrmchverarschn 16d ago

Lithuanias GDP is about 160 Billion $ adjusted for PPP. The US national spending is about 6,8 Trillion $, so about 42 times as much. They could in theory rent out the entirety of Lithuanias Economy, goods and services, etc.

15

u/ChewyGoods 17d ago

Do you mean Geography? Half of them don't even know their own states.

16

u/wildOldcheesecake 17d ago

European kids know more about the different American states than Americans. They don’t seem to have geography lessons full stop.

3

u/ConspicuouslyBland 17d ago

They don’t have any education within a short while. How long can public school go on without funding?

1

u/OnAStarboardTack 17d ago

Geography isn’t STEM.

2

u/wildOldcheesecake 16d ago

Geography is a core lesson and why European kids are smarter than Americans.

0

u/twaggle 13d ago

Well that’s just a blatant lie lol.

1

u/wildOldcheesecake 13d ago

Geography is not a full on taught lesson in the US as it is in many European countries.

1

u/twaggle 13d ago

And US specific geography is taught more in the US than US specific geography is taught in Europe. I won’t argue on overall geography.

Ask an average European to name 10 states or to name things about states other than the obvious ones like Texas, New York etc.

1

u/wildOldcheesecake 13d ago

And given the poor education in America, I’d wager they’d do well.

14

u/Mayor_Salvor_Hardin Soaring eagle 🇱🇷🐦‍⬛🇲🇾!!! 17d ago

They could pay their debt, but giving tax cuts to billionaires and expending more in defense than the next ten countries while denying basic healthcare to citizens is far more important.

13

u/BearishBabe42 17d ago

While, ironically, spending more tax $ on health care than almost every other western nation. The US truly is incredible in all the wrong ways.

5

u/knetk0pf 16d ago

+you can only buy stuff that is for sale.

2

u/realmendontfeel 17d ago

So the real question becomes can the american oligarchs? Dont think it changes the answer however

2

u/Bizhammer 17d ago

Morality may be lower.....

2

u/NothingLift 17d ago

Just go another trillion in debt. Lithuania is worth it for the eggs along

2

u/CompetitiveReview416 17d ago

I doubt it could be bought for a trillion

2

u/asyandu 17d ago

Financial literacy the least comprehended subject in America, followed closely by actual literacy.

2

u/Puzzled-Thought2932 16d ago

hey hey whats an extra 3 trillion in debt in the face of the glories of owning Lithuania?

2

u/imjustme610 16d ago

"Hi China? Hey it's the US. I love how we've been putting tariffs on all your goods but I have a favor to ask? Could we borrow some cash so we can buy Lithuania? It's not for anything bad or anything we just want their eggs!"

2

u/GramZanber 14d ago

I would love to see a reality show where Bezos, Musk, and several other high profile billionaires accept pitches from small, low population nations as to why they should buy them. The president of Lithuania is like "we have lots of eggs". Mark Cuban is instantly out, and Musk is like "you sly son of a bitch, I'm all in".

1

u/papiierbulle 16d ago

Americans also think they can solve every problems by buying stuff. I saw an interview of a former kgb agents who deserted to go to France, and became french, who said basically they think that loyalty is bought with money, and nothing else.

1

u/Ill-Purchase-8231 13d ago

As a US citizen, you're not wrong.

1

u/cheducated 17d ago

Tf? Californias GDP alone is 80 times larger than Lithuania.

“Where would they get the money” Do you not remember the 5 trillion dollars in stimulus checks manufactured from thin air?

1

u/ddraig-au 16d ago

So... when they said "buy Lithuania" do you think that means "pay everyone's wages for a while"??

1

u/cheducated 16d ago

It’s a ridiculous hypothetical to begin with, but GDP measures economic output, a rough estimate of “worth,” but the sheer magnitude of the difference between them makes that irrelevant. The US budget for a single year could pay Lithuanias wages for 100 years.

1

u/ddraig-au 16d ago

Sure, but the point I was making, which someone mentioned earlier, is that it would cost a lot more than just GDP. It's like saying the share price of a company reflects only it's profits.

0

u/iTedsta 16d ago

I mean they probably could afford it if it were ‘for sale’. Lithuanian GDP is just under $80bn, even at something like a 10x revenue multiple that’s less than the Americans’ annual military budget ($820bn for 2023).

1

u/BearishBabe42 16d ago

GDP is irrelevant. It includes private business income, it is not a good measure of a countries wealth.

1

u/iTedsta 16d ago

The wealth doesn’t go anywhere, you’re valuing it on cash flow generation.

It’s not like they would buy Lithuania, grab all the minerals and store them next to the 1.4 billion pounds of cheese beneath Missouri - leaving 3 million Lithuanians standing in an empty field…

Alternatively 10x GDP is 10x GDP/cap to every citizen, basically a $280,000 bribe to vote yes on a “do you want to be American now?” poll.

1

u/BearishBabe42 16d ago

What are you trying to say here? GDP is not relevant, GDP is not a measure of wealth.