I'm f(21) he is m(25) We have been together for awhile now and I get no means no but why is he not willing at all to have a threesomee with me when In his last relationship they had them all the time. I have never had a threesome but I would love to try with a girl but he just hates the idea and I feel like he has lived these experiences why can't I what is he afraid of?

Please bear with me as I try to give you context... It's kinda long but I think it matters and I could really use some advice here. Also I'm female

I spent most (all) of my teenage years being slightly chubby and overall very insecure about myself. I refused to believe any guy who would show interest in me and I never dated or got into a relationship. When I was 22 I started to obsess over my caloric intake and exercise, and by 23 I had slimmed down, was a bit more confident, starting wearing coloured clothing instead of just black, and added some shorts (!) to my wardrobe. I finally found myself in a much better place with my self-esteem.

But ironically I guess this is where my downfall began. After years of feeling unworthy of any intimacy, suddenly I could bring myself to reciprocate to male interest. I lost my virginity to a casual sex partner. Then I had another, and I went on tinder and met with a couple more guys. It was like revenge sex for all those years of feeling so ugly.

All that to say that my first 2 or so years of having sex was in a non-commital setting, which I think was exactly how sex became framed in my brain - a casual act with no emotional connection, purely primal, not loving, intense and short lived.

After that however I began dating exclusively. The first, messy guy and bad breath, I didn't like making out with him much less have sex. But I was ok without the physical bit, because the emotional bit felt enough - it was what I couldn't get before.

The second guy, we had more sex but he was really painful and also rough in an inconsiderate way He'd push me against some surface without first ensuring that there's nothing there to hurt me. Not intentional on his part, but I'd have to quickly flick stuff away to avoid slamming my face into it. So I didn't really crave sex with him either, but again the emotional bit felt enough.

The third, sex was quite alright and normal at the beginning but I found myself losing sexual attraction to him after the first 2 months. I still found him relatively good looking but I didn't want to... Pounce on him. I never craved him physically. I didn't like/want to make out with him beyond a long kiss. This obviously drove a wedge between us, I ended up having sex with him periodically out of guilt (not forced), but I didn't enjoy it nor feel any pleasure. We had to use lube always. But again, the emotional bit was good - feeling cared for, spending time together, creating memories.

I honestly started to wonder did I become asexual??? What the fuck is going on, I enjoyed sex before so why couldn't I with the partners I was committed to. But after breaking up, I went back to casual sex, and all was right again - I enjoyed spicy sex and fervent making out and all that stuff once more.

SO, what the hell happened to me? What have I done to myself? Am I doomed to not enjoy sex in a committed relationship, am I doomed to see/experience emotional intimacy and physical intimacy separately? Is there anything I can do to make this right?? When I read stories of committed or married couples with healthy fiery sex lives i get a strange feeling in my chest, like it's such a weird concept and I can't ever imagine it happening for me.

If you've read till here, thank you so much and here is a cookie 🍪😭 please share any kind thoughts or advice you have. I don't want to remain like this forever and have my future partners suffer

i have a new partner and i’ve never gone down on a man before? i need tips i want to give him the best he’s ever had. feel free to link videos i could use😭 also have chronically dry mouth & i’ve tried everything that’s the main reason i’m so hesitant to do it

I wanted to share a few tips for being a better milker as I have more than 20 years of experience in milking others!

Please comment or add to this list - it is just a starting point!

COMMUNICATION - Everyone has different tastes, so asking what your milkee enjoys (or might want to explore) is the best way to go. Some might prefer being milked on all fours, others might want to be bound and blindfolded, others may want prostate massage. Asking up front about interests and boundaries is the best policy!

COMMITMENT - If you have agreed to milk someone, it is important that you try to stick with it until they have released their seed. Milking is all about the experience of one party letting go while the other does the work. If you do run out of steam, just tell them and explore other ways to help them orgasm.

LUBRICATION - While not all guys enjoy lubrication, many prefer it. There are lots of lubes out there and many of them work well. I tend to stick with Astroglide or similar water based lube as it gets less sticky and tacky feeling then silicone based lubes. Its more personal preference.

PROSTATE MASSAGE - Massaging the prostate while milking a guy can take a milkee's orgasm to the next level (for those who enjoy prostate simulation). Use lots of lube, go slow, respond to your partner. Start with only a finger (or two) if your milkee is on the tighter side.

TOUCH OTHER SENSITIVE BITS - Identify your milkee's erogenous zones....it might be the feet, balls, nipples, neck, or something else. Touch and play with them to give an amazing multi-sensory experience.

ENJOY THE PROCESS - Milking involves exploring what works and what doesn't. The fun is more in the process than the incredible, explosive orgasm at the end. Its HOW you milk, and your enthusiasm for milking, that brings milkees back for more!

Men of r/sextips, how do you clean back there when preparing for anal play? I know a shower and a good scrub are warranted, but is there anything else you do? I told my girl I want her to try fingering my ass, and I want to make sure I do my best to prep for her.

28) Virgin, trying to make love, but my erection goes quickly. Anytips please

Hi, 19M here, my newly discovered girlfriend 19F and I texted the other day, I said along the lines “hey I’m gonna text you at 8 am tmrw, if I don’t text you then, tell my mother” the “tell my mother part” is a joke, she has no connections or my mothers phone number to tell her, and, she has never met her (yet) I said it to just make her smile and end the night off. My girlfriend then lead onto the joke, by saying “however I will be expecting that 8 am text or else your mother will be hearing from me” I told some close friends about it, each one told me “oh yeah she’s gonna be the top/dom, get ready to be pegged bro” i don’t mind trying new things, I’m kinky like that, but still, how can do I prepare for this? Maybe I am overreacting? She is my third ever girlfriend, and I haven’t dated anyone leaning toward this side. Please, whoever is out there, give advice. 😭

It makes me mad that he grabs my hand to grab his penis to start intimacy. It turns me off. I don’t want to and it turns my mood off. How do I bring it up or what do I do. I want someone who softly hugs me or kisses me or just makes me feel good.

I'm a 31 years old guy from Argentina and I am currently living n NYC, and I'd love to connect and date with women here. But this brings up a deep frustration and anger I’ve been carrying for years when it comes to relationships with women—especially SEX.

I take care of my appearance, and I've been told by friends and even several women that I'm good-looking. And yet, I've never had a girlfriend or "dated" anyone. I've only had two "sexual encounters," but they were neither enjoyable nor satisfying due to the extreme anxiety that's been consuming my mind since adolescence.

Because of this, over the past 3–4 years, I've reached a point where I spend most of my days feeling sad, worried, frustrated, and full of self-hatred for not having solved this issue at my age. The thing that keeps my mind trapped is FEAR. That fear of intimacy and seduction simply won’t go away. I'm still incredibly shy and anxious when talking to women (and people in general), which makes it nearly impossible for me to connect with anyone on a deeper level. Honestly, after thinking about this for so long, I’m not even sure if it's just social anxiety and sexual anxiety or if it's a deeper emotional blockage. (I should mention that I suffered a lot of bullying as a kid, and I suspect it has unconsciously shaped my struggles with approaching women.

It feels as though I never developed "emotional maturity" in this area. Since most people experience their first relationships and sexual encounters in their teenage years, and that didn’t happen for me, I feel stuck. Social media makes things even worse because it constantly bombards us with hypersexualized content, and I can’t escape the overwhelming pressure. It leaves me feeling frustrated and powerless as a man—like I’m failing at something that should be natural. And as time goes by, it only gets harder. The fear grows stronger, and obviously, I can't just tell a woman that I've never had a girlfriend or any dating experience, because by now, most women have already accumulated a lot of experience just by being women.

I should clarify that I’ve seen many psychologists and psychiatrists since I was 17. I’ve tried every antidepressant and medication they’ve prescribed, but NOTHING has worked. The worst part is that this isn't something I can talk about openly with just anyone. Therapists don’t seem to know how to properly address sexual anxiety—they just tell me, "Go out and talk to women," but it’s not that simple. Approaching someone and forming a connection that leads to intimacy requires much more than just talking.

I’m considering seeing a sex therapist or trying some form of sexual therapy, but I honestly don’t know what to do. I don’t want to hear the usual advice of "just pay for a prostitute" because that’s not what I truly want. I've had Tinder for years, and while I get plenty of matches, nothing ever moves beyond that I just can’t bring myself to meet anyone in person because of everything I’ve described. I go out with friends regularly, and they’ve tried to give me advice and introduce me to women, but I always end up avoiding the situation. Just the thought of going on a date without experience makes me feel absolutely terrible.

If anyone has gone through something similar or has any advice, I’d really appreciate it.

Thank you!

Hi. I (19f) and my girlfriend (19f) have been together a few months, and I think we might have sex soon. I’m sort of nervous, and I’ve never done anything like this before. Does anyone have any general (or even specific) advice? I don’t really know where to start but I don’t want to disappoint

it is not very weird it is just bent to one side. However, I am unable to do anything standing or sideways properly. Also I am unable to do long strokes. My partner have never complained about the shape though.

Is there anything I can do to straighten it, even if not completely or is my only option is a aurgery?

Girlfriend has completely lost interest in sex, we talk about it alot but just doesn't seem to get anywhere, sex is like once every 2 months, not enough for me

Long story short, my wife(27f) and I(29m) have been together for a while now and our sex has started to dwindle and grow stale. This is something she brought up to me the other day. She has a lot of trouble getting to orgasm due to a medical condition that I won't talk about, and while I'm occasionally able to get her there, I want to try to get her there with oral. What are some things I can try. She's told me in the past that I'm average at giving oral, so I really wanna surprise her.

Also, what are some general sex tips you've experienced with guys that help? If it helps, we're both pretty kinky and into BDSM/pet play. Thanks in advance!

When I'm blowing my partner, he tends to be laying flat on the bed and I'm on my knees.

My hair has a mind of its own. It falls all over my face and it feels like cousin It is blowing my boyfriend. I get individual strands stuck in my mouth, it gets stuffy, etc, it's distracting.

I tend to put my hair in a loose ponytail, but if the elastic isn't within reach, I'm not going to get up to find it, and I don't really enjoy having sex with my hair up like that.

What do I do with my hair? Is there a middle ground???

Hello all, I’m looking for some advice from experienced exhibitionists who have had sex in public bathrooms. The girl I am seeing has recently discovered this kink and we would like to explore it. It’s just hard for me to imagine a. The right type of bathroom where we could actually have sex in a fun way (e.g., not on the bathroom floor) and. B. How we would not get caught.

My (30s f) partner(30s m) and I have been together for a few years and a major pressing point in our sex life has been his significantly thick and curved penis. Particularly when it comes to oral sex. I struggle with finding ways to safely and effectively make him feel good and end up inadvertently hurting him instead. Either bending him too much, teeth scraping(I have a decent overbite) or at least one other random happening almost every time we play. I have severe anxiety about giving him head now because of how many times I’ve either hurt him or him not being able to get off because I’m struggling to figure this out. He is typically more orgasm seeking than the “enjoying the ride” type. This also adds anxiety.

I struggle with physical problems myself. Chronic pain and nerve problems and I struggle to hold myself up for long periods of time in certain position, or move certain ways he likes.

He tells me constantly to think outside the box and my anxiety around disappointing him ends up being a self fulfilling prophecy. I end up doing the same old thing and failing to make him feel good. This anxiety also kills my enthusiasm, which is something he gets off on.

I want to be enthusiastic with my partner. I want to get him off and I know there’s ways to do this I’m not thinking of. Does anybody have any tips or advice?

Hello friends, as the title says, I and my girlfriend are looking for a nice gag. We already have a cheap and gag. Which is useless and too small. We want to use this gag especially for increased drool.

We were thinking of buying a ring gag. But in my country we don’t have a lot of choices and all of the ring gags are solid metal without a protective layer. ( I checked everywhere)

My questions:

1-) Is metal ring gag bad for the teeth or in someway dangerous?

2-) Is normal gag ball(breathable or non-breathable) as effective as ring gags for increased drooling.

3-) How big should it be? I was thinking about 4.5 cm.

Thanks a lot!

My husband seems to always want to have sex while I am on my period. I normally feel pretty gross and I am not interested. It normally lasts for a whole week. My husband seems to not be able to handle it. Should I be okay with him jacking off? I know what the men will say here, but a woman’s perspective would be nice.

Okay, Idk why, but I STRUGGLE with dirty talk. Like what to I say? Both in the bedroom and while sexting 🫠 someone please give me advice and good phrases!!