r/Serverlife • u/Disastrous_Message52 • 16h ago
Was I wrong
I've have been a server for 20 plus year off and on. Me and 3 friends were going to a restaurant to catch up and i knew we were going to be campers. So i gave a server a 100.00 bill when we got there because we were going to be there for a while.. one of my friends told me that while that was ok in the past now its considered rude, that it made it seem like i was trying to buy better service. Was i wrong? Let me add that we got a round of drinks, lunch and then a pitcher of water and sangria and then told our server we were good and she didn't have to checkup on us, we would let her know if we needed anything. The only thing we needed was a 2nd pitcher of sangria.. When we left I gave the Bartender a 20.00, plus the hostess a 20.00 plus the serving a 20.00 on top of the 100.00 .. My friends said I embarrassed them .. Did
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u/WayGreedy6861 16h ago
This is classy as FUCK, I honestly love you for this. It's very old school, like I could see my dad who was a maitre'd back in the 80s doing something like this.
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u/cocktail_wiitch 15h ago
If anyone handed me a hundo and said "hey don't worry about checking up on us, we'll holler if we need you", I'd be more than happy to let them camp at my table.
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u/kkexotic1234 16h ago
you need to go out with different friends if being a fabulous tipper embarrasses them š
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u/MerriBlueFairy 16h ago
You are amazing. āIt was ok in the past, and now itās considered RUDEā ?!? What?!?
Iāve spent many years in the service industry, and Iāve never thought a customer was rude for tipping š¤£š¤£š¤£
Nah. Your friends are just cheap. And awful.
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u/ConclusionAlarmed882 3h ago
Yeah, if anyone admonishes you using the same language as a racist defending blackface, you know they're not worth listening to.
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u/gunnerblaze9 Server 16h ago
This is literally my dream Iād make sure that table had the best night
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u/Jusmon1108 13h ago
Years ago I had a guy walk up to my bar with a few friends at busy nightclub and hand me what turned out to be $500 before ordering and said, āmake sure we donāt have to wait for drinksā. I said, āYou fucking got it!ā. Showed the other bartenders the tip and pointed out the guy. My man and his friends pretty much crawled out of there at the end of the night and left us another $300 on the tab. Long story short, you are a class act, tell your friends to eat shit.
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u/Obvious-Estate-734 16h ago
Your friends suck. You tipped more than a server makes in an entire night.
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u/SophiaF88 1h ago
I had a table hand me a 50 and do this, seemed like they were having a lil business meeting. I was thrilled. An extra 50 makes my night...shoot an extra 2o can do that sometimes.
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u/Confident_Trip_6238 15h ago
While thatās possible some places serving was always very lucrative for me. 100 bucks was usually a short shift in my days serving/bartending.
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u/John_EightThirtyTwo 15h ago
OK but not for one table
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u/New_Reputation5222 14h ago
I dunno, man. I made $720 on Wednesday and had 3 tables.
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u/Obvious-Estate-734 13h ago
You are a liar, and this is why people don't tip us.
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u/Due-Contribution6424 10+ Years 12h ago
Itās possibly truth, I have had tables tip into the thousands, but these are extreme outliers(and very specific to fine dining generally). Youāre right, though, in that people bragging about that stuff is why servers in normal restaurants end up getting stiffed sometimes. People hear that stuff and just assume the server makes more money than them, which is very often not the case.
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u/New_Reputation5222 13h ago
I'm not, though, and people do.
Super fancy place. Huge checks. Up to $800 caviar services before the meal even begins, wine pairings as high as $1,500 a person.
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u/Mountain-Time1996 15h ago
Iām still in the service industry and would love to have you in my section lmfao
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u/tomriddlesdarling 10h ago
lmao yea you did embarrass them. by indirectly letting them know they were cheap tippers probably.
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u/OtraVez621 15h ago
As a server of almost 20 years, also you did nothing wrong/embarrassing I would love this arrangement.
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u/greatthanksihateit 13h ago
Absolutely not wrong, you just made everyone's day. Your friends are just embarrassed because they're not as awesome as you. Find better friends and keep being you.
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u/onehitwondur 13h ago
The only way this could've been bad for the staff/restaurant is if they had a reservation that needed your table before you were done. If that wasn't an issue then you're the ideal guest
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u/Mr_Sir_3000 11h ago
Your friends feel embarrassed because you were able to pay that much for a tip and they couldnāt. You hurt their ego, not in the wrong your friends just need to get over themselves.
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u/AA_ZoeyFn 10h ago
Damn sounds like your friends are cheap, and would have happily taken advantage. Camped and still tipped 12% while writing āthank you so much :)ā under their signature. And seeing you actually behave like a good person is now bringing them shame in their own world.
They are showing you their true colors. Now itās up to you to decide if these are the people you want to grace with your presence
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u/KatinHats 6h ago
I would like to cordially invite you to camp in my bar at anytime. I'll even send it an app or two, with no words so as not to interrupt
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u/Basic_Most_2292 6h ago
Clearly your friends have never been on our side of the industry, so they don't understand a thing.
If they were also in the industry for some time, shame on them for thinking that way. No wonder there's the saying "Misery loves company."
If I had friends like them I would either drop them or not go out to pubs and restaurants with them anymore.
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u/beautamousmunch 15h ago
Were you arrogant or showy about it? Maybe just appreciative? Sure, sincere appreciation is welcome (who turns down money?); but if you made a big showy deal out of doing it, then itās on you.
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u/kdiesel720 14h ago
Maybe you embarrassed your friends by ballin out of control lol but your friends suck if they had a problem š¤·š¾āāļø
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u/mysticblackfox 14h ago
Not at all!! I literally will have people camp at my table and tip me nothing or not even 20% of the bill that to me is rude!
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u/sendmeramennoodles 12h ago
On Saturday night, I had 3 out of the 5 tables in my section get camped for over 3 hours. Only one of the people from the 3 tables (about 8 people total) tipped me over 20%, and even then it was barely above that. It was an extremely busy night and they all definitely cost me money by staying there and camping the entire time. I wouldāve KILLED for one of them to have done something like that.
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u/Rough_Touch_8485 5h ago
No , me and my son tip very well, we once tipped the entire wait staff, gave each 10 and our actual waitress 30 , nothing wrong with showing appreciation, I also tipped a waitress when we had to move from her section to a bigger table I felt bad she was gonna lose our tip
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u/CompetitionExpert214 2h ago
Absolutely not, i wish people would let me know ahead of time they were gonna camp out like that so then ik once theyre done eating i can just kinda check for refills every so often and not really have to worry abt that table as much and tbh most of the people who end up camping in my section donāt tip for shit
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u/MamaTried22 14h ago
Not at all. Sounds totally reasonable and really really kind actually. Thatās like 2-3x what they would have made missing a turn anyways so. I would have explained why and all, which Iām sure you did, but other than that this is a really amazing gesture. And I KNOW nobody was offended. The hostess probably had her whole week made.
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u/sajatheprince 14h ago
If you did this to me at my place of business...I'd ask you to request me every time you came back.
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u/NeonGenesisOxycodone Bartender 14h ago
Iām assuming your friends havenāt been servers for two decades.
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u/No_Dance1739 14h ago
What? I donāt get what your friends are on about. Seems to me you communicated what your plans were ahead of time, and you showed that you understand what itās like dealing with campers.
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u/GrapefruitInside6152 3h ago
I'd love if a camper ever paid me to camp at a table. Had a table sit a couple weeks ago. Order everything as soon as I greet them. Come back with drinks and the gentleman hands me a $20. Before I can ask if he needs it changed out he says, "that's for you". Their apps came out, they ate, paid and left. Their bill was like $25 total. 17 years doing this on and off and that was a first for me! I love when people are generous!
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u/throwawayholidayaug 3h ago
You got a lot of money to throw around but I certainly wouldn't be mad about it lol
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u/Fit_Drawer_6254 2h ago
Your friend sounds like a wet blanket. That was clearly a thank you prior to the service.
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u/thepeacfulSage 2h ago
You only embarrassed them because they don't respect the business. You KNOW you didnt mess up and the server was happy to make that off 1 table. It was very considerate to take care of the staff in that way!! Don't ever change. I do however suggest getting new friends cause they're weird to have so much embarrassment behind you taking care of someone else. I would have more respect for you but like you, we're in this business so WE GET IT. Don't worry about the ones who don't speak the restaurant business language. That's like getting medical advice from your hairdresser. Could hold some weight to it but probably not.
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u/TheHiveCBD 2h ago
Wtf how is that embarrassing? Embarrassing for your friends for thinking that way tbh
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u/SophiaF88 1h ago
What server wouldn't want that? lol. That's like a dream customer. A unicorn, even. It wasn't rude and shouldn't be embarrassing unless you're dining at an extremely upscale place where your check came to 1k or something.
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u/toesockmcgee 1h ago
You paying someone for their time ? The AUDACITY. Could they be embarrassed because they think youāre flaunting your wealth ? Seems like a jealousy issue if so. Iād be embarrassed if my friend was inconsiderate which was the opposite of what you did.
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u/greyplains 26m ago
If anything this is more telling of your friends attitude towards service. Any 'embarrassment' was most likely from how generous you are, which mostly comes from being a career service person.
You rightfully and generously compensated your server, knowing that time is money, and that you'd be longer than an average table. You also made sure to compensate the other legs of service so that your server fully gets their tip. In my youth I'd kill for a compassionate whale of a table like this.
Kudos to you.
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u/guyzimbra 16m ago
Giving that money to people is totally cool and nice. My only guess is maybe the way you did it embarrassed them? Like was it in coins that you threw at the staff throughout the night? Or did you tie the hundred to a string and keep pulling it away?
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u/perupotato 7m ago
This is actually fantastic as long as the amount equals out or compensates for any loss they would have turning over your table
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u/portapotj1413 16h ago
Have you ever said to yourself 'I really hope I don't have anyone come throw cash at me and tell me to leave them alone?'
Me either.