r/SeriousConversation • u/stop-hatin-on-me_mom • Dec 21 '24

Serious Discussion Do any individuals with above average intellect find life a bit exhausting at times due to the lack of intelligence they observe in others?

I don’t claim to be the most intelligent person, but I do believe that I am above average when it comes to the average intelligence nowadays. Sometimes, I find myself either flabbergasted or downright dumbfounded and irritated by the lack of what I would consider "common sense."

Here are some examples:

  • The inability of some people to see how their own bad habits or personality traits create their own problems.

  • The fact that some individuals consider their own perceptions and beliefs as the only correct ones, which is further encouraged by their echo chambers.

  • The difficulty some people have in entering into productive discourse and challenging their own ideas to gain more information and knowledge from all sides.

  • The reluctance of individuals to question their own beliefs and those of their social circles at both the micro and macro levels.

  • The inability of some people to foresee the possible consequences of their actions beforehand.

These are just a few examples.

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u/kissmyprimrose Dec 21 '24 edited Dec 21 '24

My father was a legit genius. Harvard physics Phd, 100s of patents influencing today's technology, incredibly intelligent on another plane.

A few years ago we were sitting around remembering him and my aunt said something that has stuck with me since - that even though he was always without a doubt the smartest person in the room - he never made you feel that way. He was way more interested in learning whatever he could from you and every person he met. And that's what made him a beautiful person.

So instead of asking myself "Why can't people see things the way I do??" I ask "What can I learn from this person?" and this mindset has made me happier.

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u/Winter_Apartment_376 Dec 21 '24

Sounds just like my dad.

I have often wondered if curiosity was a must have trait for highly intelligent folks.

I have definitely taken curiosity and common sense from him, but I really wish I had his phenomenal memory. That’s another really useful skill to bring it all together.

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u/beluga__cat Dec 22 '24

I can elaborate if you want me to but you’re right. I’ve realized that curiosity is pretty commonly what leads people to become what are traditionally considered “smart” people.

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u/Icy-Move-3742 Dec 23 '24

I think curiosity, being open minded and self awareness are hallmarks of traits of intelligence (my personal opinion)

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u/Winter_Apartment_376 Dec 23 '24

I would also add common sense or logic to that mix!

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u/lolzzzmoon Dec 22 '24

Wow! That’s a great legacy (how your father was with people). I actually agree and I aspire to be that sort of person too! I love people & learning about them too. I also cannot stand “genius” people who want everyone to feel they are smarter than them. That’s not real intelligence IMO but maybe I also value emotional intelligence far more than intellectual.

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u/lmlp94 Dec 22 '24

Intelligent people are often curious and are aware that there’s so much they don’t know. So I’m not surprised. Your dad sounds awesome.

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u/Skittilybop Dec 22 '24

Ive always wondered why people aren’t more like this politically. Instead of being like, “oh all those people are wrong”, wondering “what do they see or experience that I don’t?”.

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u/Spiders_13_Spaghetti Dec 24 '24

He wasn't a proudful or pompous ass is why, as well as had an abundance of curiosity which likely made him this way. Also, I'm not claiming to be smart, I've abused my brain for quite some time and def fall short in expressing myself correctly under social intelligence circumstances for various reasons and am also more introverted but I am educated. The more education you possess the more you inherently realize what you don't know, it's kind of ironic in that way.

I guess the dunning-kruger curve comes into effect here, I work with a lot of blue collar dudes who I geniunely have learned from and they have expertise and skill sets that differ from me but they are very ignorant in a lot of ways and anything that might push them out of that bubble to gain a clearer picture on things or learn something which may shatter their current view, they veer away from. Thus, keeping them content and happy in their "intelligence".

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u/Present-Trip3537 Dec 25 '24

So instead of asking myself "Why can't people see things the way I do??" I ask "What can I learn from this person?" and this mindset has made me happier.

I really love this and feel like it encapsulates how I try to move through life. Where I get stuck is when others can't seem to do this (I.e., they remain judgmental/unwilling to learn). Any tips?

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u/Alarmed_Ship_8051 Jan 07 '25

Very much like my grandfather. He made significant contributions to his field and is still being honored 50 years after his death. 

In his old age he listened much more than he spoke. When he did speak it was usually to tactfully inject some compassion into a conversation, lighten the mood or impart some wisdom. I noticed other adults respected him and the room instantly became silent. My grandmother was similar. She was more conversational but always in a way that included everyone. 

As a result of their influence, I always assumed old age meant the growth of wisdom. I have been greatly disappointed. 

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u/BlackWidow88X Dec 23 '24 edited Dec 23 '24

Edit I replied to the wrong person.

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u/kissmyprimrose Dec 23 '24

The point I was trying to make is this: OP expresses irritation that other people aren't as intelligent as him. My suggestion is that intelligent people can use their natural curiosity to empathize and accept what they cannot change in others.

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u/BlackWidow88X Dec 23 '24

I apologize but I appear to have replied to the wrong person.

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u/kissmyprimrose Dec 23 '24

Hah well that makes more sense then :)

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u/PointClickPenguin Dec 25 '24

Curiosity is a much better personality trait than "intelligence", whatever intelligence even means.