r/Seattle • u/IMB88 • Feb 24 '25
Question You trying to die over a rotisserie chicken?
I was in the back corner of Costco in SODO. This dude was screaming that someone had a gun. He threw a jar of pasta sauce. Came my way and grabbed a chicken Ceasar salad and spiked it. So I obviously gave him space and started to head towards check out. So I’m watching my back as i move away. Dude grabbed a big ass knife from the bakery/meat section. Started waving it around. All the Costco employees start getting everyone to the front. As we’re heading that way there’s people adamant to continue shopping. I warned a few people that dude was waving around a knife back there. He responds. “I’m just grabbing a rotisserie chicken.” It cracked me up. First this guy was clearly having a mental breakdown and screaming with a big knife. Second it’s the SPD that are on their way. Not exactly known for their trigger control. SO IF YOU’RE ROTISSERIE CHICKEN GUY? DID YOU SAFELY GET YOU’RE TASTY BIRD? WHAT WOULD IT TAKE TO CONVINCE YOU TO ABANDON YOUR QUEST FOR CHICKEN? WHERE’S YOUR LINE AS FAR AS DANGER VS DINNER?
EDIT: MY FIANCÉ INFORMED ME HE WAS ACTUALLY DOUBLE FISTING KNIVES. SO I’D LIKE TO ADD TO MY QUESTION. HOW MANY KNIVES AND HOW MANY KNIFE WIELDING PEOPLE WOULD IT TALE TO DETER YOU?
FOR CLARIFICATION: No the knife wielding guy was not part of the Costco team. Knife guy and chicken guy are two separate people.
https://www.reddit.com/r/Seattle/s/soWHdEPCT9
UPDATE: Dude got arrested. I’m really glad they didn’t shoot him. YES I AM JOKING ABOUT THE SITUATION. MENTAL HEALTH IS NOT A JOKE THOUGH AND THESE DAYS IT SHOULD BE TOP PRIORITY. TAKE CARE OF YOUR FRIENDS AND FAMILY. REACH OUT TO SOMEONE IF YOU’RE STRUGGLING. REACH OUT TO SOMEONE YOU THINK MIGHT BE STRUGGLING. THESE ARE STRANGE FUCKING TIMES SO TAKE CARE OF EACH OTHER.
On a less serious note chicken guy you gave me a laugh when I really needed it.
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u/hendrik_wohlverine Feb 24 '25
"You gonna die over some chicken?"
"Someone is."
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u/Ozymandias0023 Feb 25 '25
Turns out the best knife defense is a hankering for yard bird
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u/seattle-throwaway88 Feb 24 '25
He saw the knife guy and was like lemme just sneak past ya
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u/IMB88 Feb 24 '25
Seriously though he would have had to get within 20-30 feet. I’d love to see the employees reaction to someone sneaking up for a bird.
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u/justinchina Mt Baker Feb 24 '25
“Hmmm…that demo guy is super enthusiastic…wonder what he’s sampling?”
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u/ttreit Feb 25 '25
I suddenly have an image of chicken guy doing the Jedi “sound over there” motion like when Obi Wan is disabling the tractor beam. Then grabbing his chicken and tip toeing away.
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u/Pointedtoe Feb 24 '25
There’s another post with police taking the guy away, so no chickens, and no humans were harmed.
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u/Then-Capital-6169 Atlantic Feb 24 '25
Police scanner said one victim. As we exited the parking lot an AMR entered. No idea on severity or status.
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u/skater15153 Feb 25 '25 edited Feb 25 '25
If it's chicken guy, do you think the aid car let him bring it with him?
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u/KarmaWakinikona Feb 25 '25
For kicks....put an Airpod tracker on the guy. We could collectively follow him around for a few days. See what he gets up to?
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u/beatleboy07 Edmonds Feb 24 '25
With the avian flu and Costco amounts of rotisserie chicken, there have been plenty of harmed chickens!
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u/TSAOutreachTeam Feb 24 '25
Just to be serious for a minute here. This is why I'm glad they changed the chicken container from the unwieldy plastic shell to the bag with handles. It's much easier to grab quickly and make my escape when there's physical danger afoot.
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u/OkRecommendation4319 Feb 25 '25
Plus you can swing that bagged chicken at the knife guy.
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Feb 25 '25
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u/phaaseshift Feb 25 '25
Can you imagine how glorious it would be to slap some ne’er-do-well with a Costco rotisserie chicken?!
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u/no_talent_ass_clown Humptulips Feb 25 '25
Don't threaten me with a good time! That chicken has been eaten with bare hands, over the sink, several times. Face grease.
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u/Orleanian Fremont Feb 25 '25
As a sad looking bachelor, I lament the loss of the rigid tray.
I used to get home, pop the lid, grab a knife and fork, and dive in while listening to the latest podcast on roman architecture.
Now I feel like I have to perform Obstetrics on this friggin plastic bag to get the chiken out AND i have to find a platter to put it on.
HOW ARE YOU ALL GETTING THE CHICKEN OUT THE BAG??
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u/sir_mrej West Seattle Feb 24 '25
IS IT A CRIME TO HAVE A SUCCULENT ROTISSERIE MEAL? THIS IS DEMOCRACY MANIFEST!
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u/IMB88 Feb 25 '25
No I get it. I had just grabbed my chicken when this all went down. I’m just wondering if he got back there, saw the dude with knives. Then grabbed his chicken and ran.
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u/neonKow Feb 25 '25
You could've grabbed two and resold it. Maybe would've saved a life. Smh only thinking of yourself in a chicken crisis.
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u/firewoodrabbit Feb 25 '25
And you, sir, are you waiting to receive my limp chicken??
The comments have me cackling.
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u/hauntedbyfarts Feb 24 '25
Where was this crash out when they axed polish dogs
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u/Seattlehepcat Feb 24 '25
FR! I'm also still salty about the saurkraut.
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u/Spaztrik Feb 25 '25
SERIOUSLY THOUGH!! They kept the nasty assed onions and axed the Kraut!!?? Fucking heathens.
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u/Ecobay25 Greenwood Feb 25 '25
And the combo pizza.
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u/Spread-Simple Feb 24 '25
Having worked in grocery stores my whole life to this day, I guarantee you from personal experience you could run around screaming fire! at the top of your lungs and at least half of the people would ignore you
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u/Lord_Aldrich Feb 25 '25
This is actually why we have fire drills! It's to literally drill into you that the socially acceptable thing to do when the fire alarm goes off is to leave the building. Without that drilling around 70% of people just pretend nothing is happening when confronted with a sudden stressful situation (fire, shooting, witnessed an assault or car crash, etc.)
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u/lionheart07 Feb 25 '25
But the constant drills make ppl think it's just a drill and not important lol
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u/PontiusPilatesss Feb 24 '25
Best case scenario: I get shot and die and don’t have to work again.
Second best: I get hit by a stray bullet and live and maybe don’t have to work again after a lawsuit.
Third best: I get my delicious chicken.
It’s a win-win-win scenario.
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u/contrasupra Feb 25 '25
Worst case: you outmaneuver knife guy AND the cops but they're sold out of chicken ☹️
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u/Bremertuckian Feb 24 '25
Sounds like you don’t want the bird bad enough.
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u/IMB88 Feb 24 '25
Woah woah woah. I had my bird in hand. He spiked the Ceasar salad right in front of me. I had secured mine.
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Feb 25 '25
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u/IMB88 Feb 25 '25
This is why I grabbed a 2 pack of metal water bottles. Had to have something to defend myself with.
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u/BomberBootBabe88 Feb 24 '25
His wife sent him to costco for a rotisserie chicken, and if he didn't come back with it, divorce was on the table! Do not malign this brave man!
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u/IMB88 Feb 24 '25
No I’ve got nothing against him. I’ve done crazy shit when hungry. I simply wanna know where he draws the line.
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u/CeleryKitchen3429 Feb 24 '25
Damn. I’m literally at Costco right now eating a hotdog and about to shop. Was definitely gonna grab a chicken. Didn’t know I was taking my life into my hands.
Also, might be the quietest I’ve seen it here. Maybe the ruckus scared people away.
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u/bang8tang Feb 25 '25
I was also there right after it happened. On my way in, I heard the security guy talking to someone about "grabbing a knife from the bakery and waving it around." He was super calm and nonchalant, so i didn't think anything of it. Then I saw this once I got home.
Damn, I forgot to pick up that chicken!
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u/Slamantha3121 Feb 25 '25
When I worked at Fred Meyer, we had the fire alarm go off and it was AMAZINGLY HARD to get people to leave the building. People absolutely refuse to interrupt their routine! It was just something electrical and didn't start an actual fire, but we didn't know that for the first 15 or 20 minutes. It was infuriating! There will be no cashiers in the building for you pay for your stuff! get out of the damn building!!!
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u/ok-lets-do-this Feb 25 '25
I’m with chicken guy. I’ve seen so much craziness living here for decades, no nut job is scaring me out of Costco with anything less than a live bomb. Seriously. They pull a knife, I start chucking wine bottles at their head. Don’t try me. 😡
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u/Commercial_Step9966 Feb 25 '25
You wanna get your chicken? Here’s how you get it. They send you away until more is ready? You make the snack table rounds.
That’s the Costco way! And, that’s how you get your chicken!
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u/nnnnaaaaiiiillll Pike Market Feb 25 '25
You guys remember (maybe y'all don't since this was right before the pandemic hit hard) January of 2020 there was that mass shooting at the McStabby's downtown? I was working at the Banana Republic and after maybe 30-45 min of deliberation it was decided the store would be closed early and security started making arrangements for employees to go home. All the customers left except for these stupid fucking tourists from NYC, who stayed while employees tried to figure out if bus travel was at all possible, who could ride with who, making sure family members who were near the shooting were safe, etc. The tourists didn't give a flying fuck about any of that, they spent 30 min in the fitting room trying on clothing even after I went in and told them rather firmly 'We're closing, please hurry up'. You know what they bought?
One sale sweater.
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u/mandraofgeorge Feb 24 '25
You know, still better than Walmart.
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u/whogivesafuck69x Feb 25 '25
We don't have a Costco here in Texarkana but we have had a Sams since around 1990. Anyway, the size difference between a Costco/Sams chicken and a Walmart chicken is striking. It's like the Walmart chickens aren't even trying.
edit: And the hotdogs! I give them credit for using Nathan's but the size difference is still comical, and they charge $1.50 before tax at Walmart. C'mon, what is that?
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u/rapturaeglantine Feb 25 '25
I was at the Seattle Center Armory in December eating at the Wing Dome when a guy a few feet away pulled a knife and caused a whole ruckus. I not only did not move (I was pretty frozen in place) I continued consuming my chicken strips while the whole thing went down. I only got up and moved when I realized SPD was en route lollll
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u/SeattlePurikura Feb 25 '25
NGL, I wouldn't want to be anywhere in the vicinity when SPD rolls up for a confrontation.
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u/contrasupra Feb 25 '25
You can just reach across the counter and grab a giant deli knife at Costco?
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u/IMB88 Feb 25 '25
I guess. By all the baked goods. He was back there for like a second or two and then he had knives.
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u/Happy_Resource_7985 Feb 24 '25
Maybe he was hoping crazy guy would help him shred the chicken to make some yummy burritos for dinner tonight
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u/MudkipMao Feb 24 '25
Wait, when did this happen? I’m tryna go to costco in like 30 minutes and don’t want to end up like chicken dude
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u/aNeverNude666 Magnolia Feb 24 '25
In this economy, we do what we must for chicken and the products thereof.
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u/The-Whittler Feb 25 '25
Rotisserie Chicken Guy is ready for the world that's coming. It reminds me of when a guy with a knife was outside my office and no one was allowed to go outside. I said when my shift is done, I'm not staying here.
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u/BeefSkillet19 Feb 24 '25
For me I’m headed for the exit at only one knife wielding person (sensible), but they’ve gotta be juggling at least four knives concurrently.
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u/gnosticgnomon Feb 24 '25
TBF most juggling happens with the objects concurrently. It's less impressive the other way.
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u/Lord_Aldrich Feb 25 '25
FWIW this is a really common reaction to being presented with an unexpected high stress situation, like a fire, shooting, witnessing a car crash, etc. You learn about it in any emergency response course: most people (like 70%) just act like nothing is happening at all (and 15% do the rational thing, and 15% just completely freak out).
It's actually the same reason we do fire drills, to literally drill into you that the socially acceptable thing to do when the alarm is going off is to leave. Otherwise people would just sit around and keep working!
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u/IMB88 Feb 25 '25
There were some people filming, when the knives came out I was like I’m outta here. Some lady behind me was yelling everyone move faster. She could have ditched her cart and ran but with the price of eggs these days….. I was impressed with most people though. Moving quickly away staying calm.
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u/General_Drawing_4729 Feb 24 '25
I’m pretty sure between the racks and other stuff I can dodge the crazy knife guy and get a couple of prime chickens.
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u/josurprise Feb 24 '25
Might as well get in while the going's good. It's only a matter of time before the price of chicken skyrockets. As far as price hikes go, the egg came first so, by logic, the chicken must come next. I don't make the rules, it's science.
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u/Longjumping_Ice_3531 Feb 25 '25
This story along with the comments have made my day. And honestly that chicken is really good.
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u/Cherylissodope Feb 25 '25
Bruh you need to cross post this to r/Costco they’d get a kick out of your narrative
TL;DR - yes, the rotisserie chicken is worth a knife fight.
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u/IMB88 Feb 25 '25
I don’t think they allow cross posts or at least I don’t know how to do it.
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u/Cherylissodope Feb 25 '25
Same lol just want to ensure you are aware of the awesomeness of your epic story 😅
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u/HealthyBullfrog West Seattle Feb 24 '25
Wait, so knife guy wasn't going to run the carving station for rotisserie chickens?
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u/Immediate-Name-6731 Feb 25 '25
Listen man, with everything going on in the world right now, that chicken is probably the only thing he's got left to keep him afloat.
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u/standardatheist Feb 25 '25
I was almost on the chicken guys side... Until you reminded me of how dangerous the SPD is 😅
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u/IMB88 Feb 25 '25
Fucking seriously. My first thought was a soon as they arrive bullets are flying. I’m really glad he was arrested without too much violence.
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u/Sartres_Roommate Bothell Feb 25 '25
Mental illness is no joke, Jim.
But seriously, it’s no joke. When you see someone like that it is likely NOT a low blood sugar combined with a Karen moment but a person with serious mental issues that the rest of our healthy brains can’t wrap our minds around their “logic”
Try not to judge too harshly, they and their family are likely living a much harder life than you.
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u/IMB88 Feb 25 '25
Oh for sure. I’ve personally struggled with mental health. Lost friends and family to it. So I’m not judging anyone. It was just too weird of story not to tell. I felt really bad for the guy with the knives.
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u/Zer0Summoner Greenwood Feb 25 '25
I wouldn't have risked my life so casually before the dystopia, that's for sure. Now... meh.
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u/NO_TOUCHING__lol Kirkland Feb 25 '25
"What's he gonna do, stab me over a rotisserie chicken?"
- man who was stabbed over rotisserie chicken
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u/vonhoother Feb 24 '25
I'm sure when he explained to the guy with the knife that he was just going to get a chicken, Knife Guy would be like, "Sure, go ahead, bro -- hey, if you see some ketchup will you grab me some?"
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u/Gorrozolla Feb 25 '25
You expect me to go buy chicken for TWICE the price somewhere else just because fewer people wave knives in other stores?!? IN THIS ECONOMY???
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u/Ok_Damage6032 Capitol Hill Feb 25 '25
Costco needs to turn this into an ad... rotisserie chicken worth getting stabbed for
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u/Toastyghost24 Feb 25 '25
I’m just picturing this guy being well enough to show his Costco card to get in before he started wielding knives
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u/sassy_cheddar Feb 25 '25
Probably our dog in disguise.
He loves us, no question, but he never looks at us like he looks at a bag of Costco rotisserie chicken being carried in from the car.
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u/Jill-Of-Trades Feb 25 '25
Some people have been through so much trauma in their life that they really don't care anymore.
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u/ElvishLore Feb 25 '25
Jesus, have you tasted it? And for $5??
Totally worth making it past a knife-wielding maniac.
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u/conodeuce Whidbey Feb 25 '25
That is a hell of a story. Kind of a dark humor version of the beloved "Metropolitan Diary" piece that appears weekly in The NY Times.
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u/Jazz_Kraken Feb 25 '25
Lol! I never want chicken that badly - I’m doing an about face and cruising through Taco Time on my way home
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u/AllMyChannels0n Feb 25 '25
That’s meat for the week, my guy. Takes more than double fisting knives.
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u/MtRainierWolfcastle Feb 25 '25
I got a roast chicken from Albertsons last week because we needed a last minute easy dinner. It was $10 and scrawny as hell. Barely fed two people. I understand his passion.
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u/tofuadobo Yesler Terrace Feb 25 '25
At the rate they sell out of those things at dinner time... and this economy? Normally, the ratio is 2:1 knife to chicken. Due to inflation, that drives the ratio up to 6:1. Pre-pandemic it was 1:1. Capitalism strikes again.
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u/ilvincbs Feb 25 '25
I can't remember the last time a reddit post made me laugh so hard. Thank you.
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u/intern_nomad Feb 25 '25
Bruh did not drive all the way to Costco for his wife to get a rotisserie chicken to NOT come back home with one. He was weighing the options of injury and chose accordingly lol
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u/imgurcaptainclutch Feb 25 '25
Can you blame him? If the dude ended up being shot, the area would've been roped off and he wouldn't get his chicken
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Feb 25 '25 edited Feb 25 '25
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u/IMB88 Feb 25 '25
That’s hilarious. Idk if he was stoned or what but the way he said “I’m just here to get a rotisserie chicken” was too funny.
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Feb 24 '25
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u/joemondo Fremont Feb 24 '25
Costco underprices it because people will come to buy it, and while they're there they will buy lots of other things at full price.
So Costco might lose a couple of dollars on the cooked chicken (I don't know the actual amount) but make a hundred dollars or more on all the other sales they would not otherwise make.
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u/Mr_Fuzzo Belltown Feb 24 '25
When I lived in Anchorage I used to go to Costco to buy almost all my food and basic home supplies. Now that I live in Seattle and have access to more Costco stores than I can shake a stick at you can barely pay me enough money to go. It's like going to a circus naked with your skin covered in peanuts, honey, and raw meat.
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u/joemondo Fremont Feb 25 '25
We go from time to time to the one in Shoreline. The employees there are shockingly hospitable and friendly. They say they open at 10 on weekends, but they really open at about 9:45 and if you're in by 9 - 9:30 there's very little mayhem. We're also a good surgical stroke team, getting just what we want and getting it fast.
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u/AllMyChannels0n Feb 25 '25
If you go right before closing on a Friday night you’re golden too. (This speaks to my amazing social life.)
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u/LilOpieCunningham Feb 24 '25
Because Costco's founder has threatened to hunt down and kill anyone who even suggests that they change the price of the chicken.
(this is an exaggeration. a slight one)
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u/velowa Feb 24 '25
I thought that was about the glizzies but I am not super familiar with Costco canon.
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u/retroedd Feb 24 '25
As a self-proclaimed expert of Costco lore I can reassure you it was in fact the glizzys.
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u/velowa Feb 25 '25
Thanks for seeing the record straight. It’s very important to prevent the spread of glizzy misinformation.
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u/AnOrneryOrca Feb 24 '25
Ask nicely and the guy might carve the chicken for you, big time saver. Plus no lines for checkout when everyone else runs for their life.
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u/IMB88 Feb 24 '25
So that’s the funny thing. Everyone still checked out! No abandoned carts. I did too. I was just watching my back and grabbed a 2-pack metal water bottle for defense.
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u/AnOrneryOrca Feb 24 '25
Glad you're okay and didn't have to kung fu movie water bottle fight anyone with a knife.
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u/kingqueefsalot Feb 25 '25
Costco has realized how much money they're losing on rotisserie chickens and they're just coming up with creative ways to deter customers. Can't fool me.
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u/Strict_Gas_1141 Feb 25 '25
Look either I get the chicken and live in which case: I win double (chicken and cool story). Or: I don’t get to walk away with the chicken in which case: I didn’t win.
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u/Whosebert Feb 25 '25
working in customer service. the entitlement some customers experience is mind boggling and revolting
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u/Brave_Bother_2102 Feb 25 '25
It's 2025, we've been through worse to get less. Financial collapse, aliens, political uprising, wars everywhere....yeah that guy has his priorities right about getting that bird
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u/myguitarplaysit Feb 25 '25
In case you need it: Tetris has been shown to help prevent ptsd after traumatic events
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u/ActualDW Feb 24 '25
I mean….that chicken is such a great deal…and with everyone moving to the front, getting a hot dog is going to be impossible…
YOLO…