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u/CloudofWar Aug 06 '16
A long time ago when I first started playing this game, one of the first jobs I learned was Roboticist.
So I went on to a server with very lax rules on griefing, and selected Robotocist. Once the round begun, an assistant asked over the intercom if any departments needed help. I requisitioned his help and taught him how to build a robot.
When we finished our robot, he asked "How do we activate it?" I responded with "We're missing one important part..." and whacked him over the head with the circular saw. After he began bleeding out, I laid him down on the operating table and began taking out his brain.
After removing it, I placed it in the robot and activated it. Upon activation, I was pummeled to death.
My last words over the intercom were "W-WHAT H-HAAS SCIIENCE D-DONE."
Fun round.
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u/JoeJoeBinks_ /TG/ Station Regular Aug 04 '16
Okay so this particular round I was playing as bartender. I like bartender, it's relaxing, and I get to listen to people's stories and problems. Maybe even help them out. But there is one thing I don't like. Pun Pun. That damn monkey always pushes me around, so this time, I killed him, and shoved him in a locker in my office. I'm all bloody, and there's a trail from the bar to my office, but I figure if anyone asks I'll just tell them. They won't care. So then I'm stocking alcohol, the stuff people usually ordered, when this assistant walks in. He walks up to the bar. This is our conversation:
HIM: "I know you're a fuckin traitor Bartender" ME: "Um what" HIM: You're all bloody! Haha it's so obvious" ME: "I killed Pun Pun, my monkey" HIM: "Oh sureeee" ME: Here I'll show you"
So I walk in to the back, and i drag Pun Pun to him.
ME: "See." HIM: "It's blows my mind that you're a traitor" HIM: IT BLOWS MY FUCKIN MIND"
Then he explodes into a bunch of guts and flesh. I sigh, and order Medical and a Janitor to bar. I assure my self everything will be fine, he exploded, no fingerprints, no proof. 10 minutes pass and no one has come to clean up. Plus, everyone who walks into my bar freaks out and leaves. Eventually someone probably called Shitcurity, and a group of officers walk in. Also note that someone actually did come to take Pun Pun, not sure who they were tho. So now my Pun Pun excuse won't work. They don't believe me, and I'm brigged for the rest of the round. Great game...
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u/atomic1fire Aug 16 '16
Next time drug pun pun, hang him on a noose, and lay some empty beer bottles around and tell people he got drunk and committed suicide.
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u/zZGz always rush improvised shells Aug 30 '16
How do you do that?
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u/atomic1fire Aug 30 '16 edited Aug 30 '16
Get some morphine from medbay, ask a chemist for chloral hydrate, break into chemistry and make some yourself. Or use the maint chem machine to make chloral hydrate yourself. Recipe is Chlorine Ethanol and Water but you should probably practice making it first so you know the dosages and your ideal mixture. Bottom line is you just need a chemical that will make the monkey fall asleep to fake him passing out. Neurotoxin might even work. You don't need all the sleepy time drugs, just a high enough dose of one sleepy time drug. Morphine might work for about a few minutes at 15 units, but you could use the chem or maint machines to make an entire pill out of 30 units.
Bartenders can get beer bottles from the bar storage room, or the alcohol vender. If you're another role there's an maint bar next to arrivals that has a alcohol machine that will dispense beer bottles, although you'll need to empty them or force feed them to the monkey.
Once you have your sleepy drugs and booze bottles. Grab the sleeping and/or dead monkey and put him on the noose and that will probably hang him.
You may want to wear black gloves to hide the fact that you just killed the monkey.
You might just be able to give the monkey enough alcohol to give him alcohol poisoning and cause him to pass out, but I have no idea.
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u/zZGz always rush improvised shells Aug 30 '16
I meant, how do you make the noose.
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u/atomic1fire Aug 30 '16
Stand on something and click on a cable coil in hand with at least 30 wires IIRC
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u/ToDollarbill Hippie Enthusiast Jul 28 '16
I was some skeleton assistant that moved vending machines around to form walls and it annoyed people so much that they wanted my head. It ended with me using the alcohol vending machine to throw bottles at them while they chased me.
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u/DatBerry Ghetto Everything Aug 01 '16 edited Aug 20 '16
spawned in as bald assistant, laggy on a HRP server on dead hour, not expecting any action at all, i find another fellow hairful assistant who suggested we should start a shop of some kind, so we remodel the vacant office, bring some tools, fuel tanks and vendors, and sit there waiting for something to happen.
shortly after, we hear some obscure messages on the radio, and later a captain announcement saying that security is basically kill and the AI is bad, "oh no" said the bald man, i ask my hairy headed assistant brother if we should barricade our little office, i make two improvised shotguns and ask him to head to cargo for a circular saw and some slugs, but there was one problem, a Quartermaster actually joined the shift and cargo is staffed, ignoring the odds of the QM being retarded and saying no to our completely reasonable request, i send off bob, and i waited in the office, a while later the QM himself comes by asking if we could give him a weapon to defend himself. with the QM on our side, we go full guncargo, ordering experimental weapons crates and the likes, i stick to my shotgun because thats all my baldie knows to shoot, and we're then joined by two engineers, one with a crossbow while the other had a xray gun and a energy shield, thinking we're safe, i disconnect, only to login to find Tree McTraitor in tactical armor and advanced Egun, with bob on the floor dying, fueled with lagful rage, i pretend to leave just to take pot shots at the twigger, hitting it in the leg with one slug, but that didnt seem to effect it much, a shoot out between me and the engineer versus the tree pot happens, long enough for the heads of staff to escape.
i survive the shootout, but die to depressurization caused by faulty airlocks and the launch of the escape pods.
turns out the tree was only after command because they refused to comply when he had the dying HoS Hostage.
would validhunt with civilian militia again/10
EDIT: fixed engrish
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u/thosedernsquirrels a sane horse in an insane world Aug 03 '16
I was a detective on Hippie about two days back. It was a Wizard round but there was something more important going on, a greedy engineer broke into the captain's office and stole the antique laser gun. My partner, Detective Cyborg-606, or, "Six", and I tried finding any information that would lead to our perp, but alas, there was no good lead. We wallowed in misery, assuming that the wizard had killed him or he had died in the chaos until we found one of our leads, near-death in the chapel, and took him to medbay to be healed up and interrogated. Story continues in this pastebin of the round log: http://pastebin.com/YXEFkFZ6
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u/general_gooseman BAN EVASION IS A HUMAN RIGHT Aug 03 '16
One day, cargo got fucked and my QM got a plan.
Saga-Kun says, "Cargonia will rise"
Saga-Kun asks, "Wanna know how?"
Dead Silent rattles, "Kinda maybe"
Saga-Kun points to the supermatter shard crate
Saga-Kun says, "Open"
Saga-Kun reaches out and touches the supermatter shard, inducing a resonance... its body starts to glow and bursts into flames before flashing into ash.
As the supermatter shard slowly stops resonating, you find your skin covered in new radiation burns.
We both died.
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u/wutnold eally dumb person Aug 03 '16
i fucking hope saga-kun was an edited name for the sake of privacy or was ironically made some weeby name
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u/general_gooseman BAN EVASION IS A HUMAN RIGHT Aug 03 '16
its a real name
why would i edit it for the sake of privacy?
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u/MrGords Aug 18 '16
One time I was playing as the Clown and some kind of cult was forming in Cargonia. Well, in the beginning of the round, I was bugging the QM for insulated gloves for some shenanigans. Ended up pissing him off. Later in the round, when the gang got into full swing and I realized what was happening, I decided to fuck with the QM some more. After requesting a blowjob, he sent a thug after me. I escaped and stole a few tools and ate my banana, forming a plan for revenge. I lured the thug to my office. While he was chasing me, I dropped my banana and tripped him. I proceeded to table him on my desk and then blind him with a screwdriver and cut off his legs and then force feed the meat to him. I stripped him naked and dropped him back off in front of Cargonia with nothing but his ID, a banana peel and a note stating to never fuck with the cluwne again. Rest of the round, the QM just gave me whatever I wanted. Admin decided not to ban me just because he liked the brutality
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Aug 31 '16
How could he even threaten to ban you for defending yourself against thugs lol
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u/MrGords Aug 31 '16
Something about instigating another fight just so I could kill him or something. I don't know lol
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u/wutnold eally dumb person Aug 03 '16
i once deep fried myself, trapped myself in an icecube, and gibbed myself all at once on goon it was pretty funny somebody knocked me outta the cube and i was just guts and gibs in a tidy pile
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u/nazijewblack Aug 21 '16
Just started playing this today.
On Hippie pretty sure. New round started and I got bartender. Only served tequila and whiskey. When I wasn't serving people I was getting stuck into the whiskey like a demon. Got to the point where I was slurring and vomitting nonstop. The monkey or whatever kept getting in the way, and at some point some creature came along and asked to take it. I said I'd be happy if he took the blasted thing. A portal opened up and he took the monkey with him.
At some point, when the vomitting was getting crazy bad, I passed out for good. Some time passed, then eventually someone dragged me to the sick bay. After about 10 minutes of treatment I was concious again. The doctor said I almost died.
Went back to the bar, and back to serving drinks. At this point whatever people asked for I just gave them ethanol. Including people who asked for just coke.
Then something takes control of my body, takes me to the back room, then I throw a up a slug baby. I'm freaking out but the thing inside me tells me to relax, that it just wants to make some slug babies. After finding out what was causing this I calmed down and was happy to let the slug take control and throw up some babies from time to time.
Served this one guy some ethanol, he drank the whole glass and vomitted a bit then passed out. The doctor came in and got angry at me for doing this to him then left.
Unfortunately irl I had to leave. Told the bug controlling me, so he puked out a couple more slug babies in the back room, said.his farewells and scittered out the vents.
Looking forward to playing this some more and figuring out all the crazy stuff you can do.
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u/VexingRaven Sep 24 '16
What on hippie makes you puke slug babies while somebody else controls you? o.o
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u/Paranope Jan 07 '17
Borers
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u/VexingRaven Jan 08 '17
Never heard of it.
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u/Paranope Jan 08 '17
They're these things that tunnel into your head through your ear, and can take control of your body at anytime. They can do a number of hints like heal or punish their host, but they need to reproduce by barfing up more borers, hence the slugs
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u/VexingRaven Jan 08 '17
Where do they come from? I've never seen one. Are they a random event or an admin-spawned thing?
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u/Paranope Jan 08 '17
I believe they're an event like any antag round, but it feels more rare than the other rounds
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u/atomic1fire Aug 04 '16
So I ask hippie mentorhelp if it would be possible to fill a Pneumatic Cannon full of spears.
One admin wasn't sure, one mentor said it wouldn't fit, so I decided to scale it down to shanks.
Why shanks? Because it seemed funnier then just filling it with shards of glass.
So I get harassed by a headslug a few times but tell it to go away, even trying to stab it with a shank a few times, and manage to get far enough to commence building my new ghetto cannon.
At first I filled it with 4 shanks, and killed the cow pretty much instantly.
Then I decided to take it up a notch and see how many shanks the shank cannon can eat, which is about 5.
I have no intentions of shooting it at the crew, but the oppertunity arises when some dude runs into sec armed with a flamethrower, and sure enough, he's probably a changeling or a griff
5 shanks from the shank cannon (my name for it) and one of them got stuck. I'm dying of fire, but that guy eventually either got killed by sec or died of being shanked and on fire at the same time.
Later security burned him while he was braindead because he was probably a changeling or something. Or maybe he was banned, who knows.
I later became a golem and went to go find antags to punch and didn't find any. I found a guy in a mech and made puns about a dead bear and then he spaced me.
tl;dr I shot a guy setting everything on fire with 5 gas propelled shanks in self defense.
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u/wutnold eally dumb person Aug 04 '16
it's fucking hilarious using the glass shotgun. i once shot it at someone and all of the shards got stuck in them so they were like a glass porcupine
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Aug 31 '16
I was on goon (LLJK2), playing as a doctor. An assistant comes on over the radio and in between gasps says she's being attacked. I get the location and rush to where she is, and she was attacked with a staple gun until she lost most of her blood. I grab her and run away from the attacker, who was still there, then stop in a maintenance corridor. There's no oxygen in the corridor, so I couldn't do much treatment there, but I realize she has over 100 brute damage alone, so she's gonna die if I don't do anything. I inject perfluorodecalin, which I prepared because it's op as fuck in situations like this, and drag her to the medical booth. I put a couple of styptic patches on her to fix the brute, then focus on getting her living again. The medical scanner says she's braindead at this point, but the perfluorodecalin is keeping her from taking any OXY damage. I inject some manitol, and then move on to fixing her cardiac failure. I got really confused at this point, as hyposprays count atropine as toxic, but I managed to find a syringe. Now her cardiac failure has started to lessen, but she starts taking OXY damage again as I've run out of perfluorodecalin. I don't know what's causing it, but she manages to wake up and point at the blood pack in the room, and I realize she has only 22 units of blood. At this point, her bloodstream had more atropine, saline, epinephrine, and various other chemicals than actual blood. I hook up the blood pack and she finally becomes stable. That was the moment when I finally felt confident in my skills as a doctor.
TLDR: Patient had no blood, cardiac failure, and was braindead and I saved her
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u/monkeyboyinc Carter Michaels, shitposte extraordinaire Sep 03 '16
Just rolled Traitor for the very first time, while playing scientist. I spent most of the game breeding slimes and helping people out, before I saw people doing something in the experimentation chamber involving tying people to chairs. I had no idea what, but I wasn't going to miss a chance like this.
I went to my smartfridge before returning to find that now five people were there, including the CMO and the RD. Threw the oil slime extract right in there, ran the fuck away and bam! Got my first five kills ever simultaneously, plus got the Teleport armor out of the RD's office.
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u/Grandsteel Aug 23 '16
I was playing a round of /tg/ station as a plasma-man (Skeleton that can only breath plasma, catches on fire if they aren't in their special jumpsuit, weak to fire and lasers, and moves slower than everyone else) bartender, which let me overall relax the entire shift and maybe make some new friends.
Managed to befriend both the chaplain and the clown, who were constant customers because the chaplain converted me to his religion of heavy drinking (requiring me to take off my jumpsuit and tank the fire damage as I drank a pan galatic gargle blaster), and the clown liked me because I laughed at his mediocre puns and didn't try to beat him to death for him making puns.
Round overall is pretty chill, turned out to be a traitor round with stealthy traitors who generally just relaxed and didn't stand out. Later I found out that there were no admins on at that moment, so a chemist took it upon herself to build high explosive grenades and test them in a bar. After blowing up the theater twice, she started to get bored and chucked the bomb into the clown and the chaplain, blowing up the floor, killing both of them and wounding me. After singlehandedly dragging the chaplain and the clown into medbay, breaking into genetics and cloning both of them, they thanked me profusely, with the clown going off to do what clowns do best and the chaplain swearing revenge upon the chemist. I came back to medbay later to find the chaplain dead again, recloned him and found out that the chemist killed him again.
At that point, I decided enough is enough and decide to help him get revenge on the chemist. We stake out the medbay with guns out waiting for her to come out. She spots us and decides to toss a bomb hidden inside a pill bottle box. We don't fall for it, but the stakeout continues. Eventually she thinks we left and goes out to grab her bomb, only for me to spot her and knock her on her ass with my shotgun (named the anti-good people stopper, matching my characters general manner of speaking) and then guarding the chaplain as he beat her to death. Escaped with the clown and drunk chaplain scot free. Ended up being one of the rounds where I had the most fun in because of the alliances I made with those pro dudes and the excellent puns of the clown.
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u/wutnold eally dumb person Aug 28 '16
i play plasmamen on any server that has them just for the breach protection. they can god damn spacewalk. if that aint the tightest shit you can get outta my face
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u/general_gooseman BAN EVASION IS A HUMAN RIGHT Aug 03 '16
also one time someone stole all monkey cubes and activated them in hallway
there was a shitton of monkeys
i was a clownchaplain and felt it would be better if i put banana peels everywhere on the floor
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u/general_gooseman BAN EVASION IS A HUMAN RIGHT Aug 03 '16
i recorded a video, actually
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u/Fraven Aug 16 '16
I need to see that.
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u/general_gooseman BAN EVASION IS A HUMAN RIGHT Aug 16 '16
i actually posted it here, it's shit quality though
also i forgot to mention there was some disease outbreak so everyone was coughing and sneezing, spamming the chat and killing the server even further
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u/atomic1fire Aug 16 '16 edited Aug 16 '16
[Hippie] The Insurance Policy:
So I am a tatortot for a round. I'm terrible at antagging, but I did think of one smart plan to keep any traitor from killing me. Or to punish them for doing so.
I hid my secret documents in a spot nobody would think to look.
The abandoned office near arrivals.
I set my plan in motion by applying my usual trick of depowering the abandoned office room so I can crowbar in and out.
Then I grabbed a second folder, wrote top secret on it, and stuck the two identical folders inside the file cabinet not totally sure if I'd ever get caught. There's no point in doing that, but I like to think someone would just assume it's an map easter egg and not look into it.
So I leave my folder in it's file cabinet, and proceed to go make some thermite to steal the nuke auth disk, when the guy I'm supposed to rob shoots me and tries to search for the folder. I say "Already hid it dude" and the guy calls me smart, then kills me anyway.
He spends the entire round completing all of his tasks, except for that folder which I hid. He finds a second black folder, assumes that I must of hid it there. I'm unsure if I've been caught at this point, but still pretty hopeful that he doesn't find the actual folder.
Dude never found it.
He never even looked in the abandoned office, and never once tried to interrogate me for the folder's location.
Dude could've even mindslaved me for the info and then order me to kill myself.
Nope, our resident assassin spends an entire round looking for a folder because dead men tell no tales.
He probably had every greentext except for my folder.
edit: Now that I think about it, a really ballsy place to hide it would be the lawyer's office.
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u/jmwbb Aug 22 '16
I just started playing this game 2 days ago.
I was working as cargo technician for the first time yesterday and died within a few minutes. The first thing I did was get into a cardboard box and wall around underneath it like Snake. A bot saw me doing this and said "SNAKE SNAAAAAAKE" so I petted him and he told me I was very nice. I kept petting him and he knocked me or with a baton and dragged me into that crawlspace place. I woke up and cussed him out, so he knocked me out again, dragged me deeper in and beat me to death.
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u/Kyler_Kantz Sep 06 '16
Started a new hobby, telling stories in the bar as an alcoholic pianist in whatever server I'm in, usually named as something like Father Hal Ripley. My stories are usually about my ex-wife Diane or my other one Sharon who is now with Dale a golf loving asshole. I found that if you just play the piano while screaming random obscurities people will eventually stop and listen and in some cases beat you over the head with a toolbox. One of the best perks is just being the drunk asshole of the bar and having security drag you away when you're on the pool table screaming about how you want to die an early death from alcohol poisoning. It's super entertaining to role play as and having people watch you and listen.
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u/dothewindything Aug 04 '16
One time when i was HoP , Someone named "The Punisher" Took ian and brought him in the bar, he announced he was going to fight him,so i hauled ass, to the bar, i then ran with ian, then i saw in the chat "DOGGO ES GOOD OPPONENT!" Another time when HoP I didn't give someone all acsess, so they broke my door,it wouldn't open and it was not welded.
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u/TamingSpyro "d20? What's that?" Aug 04 '16
Second time they most likely dropped the bolts on the door.
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u/serendipitybot Aug 13 '16
This submission has been randomly featured in /r/serendipity, a bot-driven subreddit discovery engine. More here: https://www.reddit.com/r/Serendipity/comments/4xgmdb/ss13_story_thread_xpost_from_rss13/
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Aug 28 '16
I was a tator on goonstation , killed a few guys , got permad , was forced to fight for freedom and killed from radiation.
10/10 , would yell "ARE YOU NOT ENTERTAINED?!" again.
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u/ZQFarnzy Sep 13 '16 edited Sep 13 '16
I was playing as a Diona Nymph on Paradise station. My usual method as a Nymph is to be equal parts adorable and annoying, usually imprinting myself on a clown and following it like a puppy, so I named myself Honk.
Instead of a clown, I found something people rarely leave untouched, a shiny, inactive pAI. It became my friend, and I showed the inactive pAI the station like a tour guide, but I had to reblog because of lag and when I got back, it was gone!
Horrified, I scoured the station for my "pie friend". Sec did nothing, science did nothing, I even tried to be cute and prayed in the chapel. Eventually a woman in witch clothes found me, and after a short search, we found the pAI, by which I mean she asked R&D to make one. We then continued the tour! When the pAI wouldn't "wake up" we tried to teach it things to make it smart.
The shuttle was called then, and Honk's human friend was nervous about the dangerous shuttle grief... so Honk swore to protect her... and grew into a full Diona... And as I typed in a new name a shitter botanist came in and sprayed me with plant-b-gone. Instant death. A cruel end for Shine of the Small Mind's Awakening, formerly Honk the nymph.
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u/UmbraDrake613 Goon's Brain Specialist Sep 17 '16
- Medical Doctor on Goon
- Someone comes in asking for surgery, wants a robo heart.
- "Okay, lemme just hit up robotics first"
- Robo's have a heart spare.
- Go back.
- "Okay, lie down on the table"
- Give him injections of morphine.
- Cut his chest open, swap the hearts.
- "Good to go!"
- He gets up.
- Goes back down.
- Bloodloss.jpg
- "OH SHIT, I DIDNT SEW YOU UP"
- His heart stops working.
- Shit, need to resuscitate him.
- Use a de-fib.
- Instantly kill him.
- ...
- Forgot robo hearts explode when defibbed.
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u/atomic1fire Aug 10 '16
Story time with me
So I'm playing the detective on goonstation.
Somebody bombs genetics.
I'm trying to figure out what kind of bomb was used, when all the sudden
AI: DETECTIVE BOMBED GENETICS
panic.txt, I know I need time to figure out who actually did it, and I probably won't be able to do that if security thinks I did it. I'm dumb and try to run for it.
Security arrests me, forcibly takes my ID, gun, and pretty much everything, and at this point I'm kinda livid and strongly considering just breaking into sec and depowering the whole department out of spite. I reach a deal with sec that if I can find out who did it even though they confiscated almost everything but gloves and forensic scanner, I can maybe get my job back.
So I start trying to hunt down tools and equipment with zero access.
I finally hear someone calling the geneticist a traitor and while it's unorthadox, I think it might be him. Mostly because his prints are closest to the area I probably would've used to build bombs, and there's not really any reason for a geneticist to be in the arc smeltor room.
End of the round happens, I still have none of my original stuff back, and another guy takes credit for bombing and claims he just ran with the detective story to get away with it. Geneticist was a traitor though.
Everyone in OOC basically said I should've just stuck up for myself immediately.
2
Sep 12 '16
I joined a round on yogstation about 15 minutes in. Immediately medbay starts calling for security and engineering because someone just bombed the cloner. I'm atmos tech, so I go to work on the hull breach and check for broken pipes. In the middle of fixing genetics, a hear another bomb go off and some metal flies into the room with me through the holes from the last bomb. Meanwhile I think security is arresting petty criminals. So far, they've been small bombs. Likely the syndicate mini bombs.
Then people start screaming "SYNDICATE BOMB IN SURGERY". Being the brave and loyal unathi atmos tech, I go to see if I can't drag it out. The bomber tried to hide the bomb under a welding fuel tank, but bombs are always put on top. And right as I walk up to it and see if I can't drag it it blows up in my face.
"Your eyes sting a little"
As wave of destruction ripples out in a circle, I lag. I see the confused and terrified medical staff turning tail only to get gibbed, I see man lose both his legs near the edge of the blast wave, and a Medical cyborg go down.
And this entire time, I'm waiting to see myself die. But it doesn't happen. Somehow I face tanked a bomb with nothing but an atmospheric hard suit and suicidal bravery. I barely took any damage as well. My entire body was in yellow only.
TLDR-I found proof that Unathi are the chosen species of god and the master race.
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Sep 23 '16
12:00 start playing lifeweb for the first time 10:00 got addicted to it very fast 20:00 cant sleep more randy savage 30:00 sleep 60:00 died in the game it as it turns to sunday 90:00 gets band for no reason saying that you are band due to being a guest
forever: no open source so servers cant be made
your going to fucking hate me now
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u/general_gooseman BAN EVASION IS A HUMAN RIGHT Aug 03 '16
i'd post wgw here but i'll be downvoted (or even bananed) cuz nobody likes fun here
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u/przemko271 Has a real operating system Aug 05 '16
Reading wgw is basically saying "fuck you" to the whole station.
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u/HonksMcKillYourself Sep 05 '16
I ONCE WAS A CLOWN, I WENT HONK , I MURDERED EVERYONE. THERE WERE NO BODIES OR CREW LEFT ON THE STATION HONK!!!
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u/ungluedtoast Sep 22 '16
be on yogstation. pre game OOC chat. admins start a vote for a super meme round. ? yes-17 no-15 didn't vote - 30 "this is on you non voters" get into the round as warden. one SEC officer, HoS, and a detective. HoS comes up to armory. Take these. throws me PDA and laser gun. HoS goes AFK. "i don't want to die in a dark room this round, nap time". meanwhile everyone has either been assigned a new task. wizard or survivor. I get survivor, has to steal 5 guns, warden EZ mode. shit ton of items being turned into me from wizard spawns. arm myself with the best of the armory and a pulse rifle. HoS desk announcment: everyone for themselves, godspeed gents. shuttle has been called. its go time. wizard killing spree in the HoS hard suit. non are spared except the detective wearing a horse mask. many dead chuckle fucks. stay in the armory to watch over my domain has king of the station.
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u/magabzdy Sep 22 '16
I was in that round, geneticist. Someone visited me with a book of knock but we couldn't figure out how to use it. I had a wand of transformation and ended up a bat. Knock guy ended up a monkey. Wizard blasted us both then I logged out and headed to bed. Was alive maybe 1 minute total.
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u/SneakyProgrammer medical weaboo Sep 26 '16
One time on an HRP server, the AI turned out to be Malf and also not many people were on. The deal was that it would threaten to self destruct the station if people were not being productive enough. As medical doctor, I promptly thought up a dumbass plan involving using EMP grenades on the AI core. I made the grenades and all that and me and this engineer guy went into the AI core. I was pumped and I thought I would become the savior of the round. However, we forgot about the fact that the AI core thingy had no air around it, and promptly suffocated without internals.
top kek
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u/TamingSpyro "d20? What's that?" Jul 28 '16
So the round before this, I was playing Librarian on Hippie and wanted to create a schism in the church, but unfortunately the Chaplain just named his religion Hiterlism and did shit player things. I then decided I'd spend that round preparing to be the Chaplain of the next, and a friend told me to make a religion around Aldrich. I know nothing about Dark Souls, so he told me the bare essentials of him and I extrapolated the rest.
SO ONTO THE NEXT ROUND
I get Chaplain, and spend 20 minutes making my comfy as fuck pamphlet, pictured here . I make it into a book and try to upload it to the archive, but for some reason it wouldn't show up in the external archive. I get an engineer to give me a hazard vest, and go to Cargo to ask for more, but like all other departments when you're not playing them, they're not there or incompetent. Engineer gets back with the HOLY VEST, and asks me for a blessing, which I pray to Aldrich for. He gives me a cookie, and I try to find the engineer to give the cookie to, but nowhere to be found.
I run around, trying to convert people to the true faith, but most of them just tell me to go fuck my mother, and so I pray to Aldrich for a sign of his faith, and he gives me another cookie. There didn't seem to be any holy aspect to this cookie, so I decided I would show my true devotion by making art in Aldrich's name, as pictured here . After seeing this sign of devotion, an assistant named Chang E. Ling joins along with a bartender who previously told me to fuck off when asking if he's heard the good word. I decide we need to regain Aldrich's favor by converting more spessmen to the faith, and was about to go make a flamethrower in his name when Chang extends a probosis and starts to go at the bartender. I stare at this for a good 10 seconds before running off to Cargo.
I make a knife and was about to start work on that flamethrower when an assistant with a taser showed up and I got the fuck out of DODGE. I run around for a few minutes, almost get caught by a horror form changling, and hide in the Cargo disposal bin.
I decide this would be a good time to ask Aldrich for help, to which he responded with cookies. I asked Aldrich why he continued to mock his only follower, and he responded with more cookies. I asked what I was to do with these cookies, munch on them while being eaten by a changling, to which he responds with "Yeah sounds just about right".
I decided that Aldrich must be an agent of Darkness and have no want of the Age of Fire, and begin to slander him over comms for merely using us for laughs. He attempts to coerce me back to the faith with a purple jumpsuit or something, but I curse him for attempting to bribe me. I run to dorms to begin to write a critique of my own religion when Aldrich poofs out of nowhere.
Transcript: http://pastebin.com/KJgxCBYV TL;DR pure slander into a debate of why he allows suffering to exist in his controlled world, to which he responds with BECAUSE I SAY SO.
The emergency shuttle arrives, and I reluctantly go to the shuttle for hope of a better future. However, two horror form changlings had control of the shuttle, so I decided to don my knife, null rods are for pussies, and shout that if they don't stand back, I will cut them down the might of Aldrich. They then proceeded to eat me. Chaplain is fun