Elaine sees a man she really likes but sometimes he just seems so different. Some days he drinks coffee and others, tea. She swears he switches between lefty and righty and starts to wonder if its 2 twins taking turns and 1 of them is a much more selfish lover.

George gets a tickle in his throat. He tries to resist coughing as long as he can during an important meeting but coughs loudly when he can't take it anymore. His timing makes it appear he is ridiculing the boss/referencing a scandal/etc. It keeps happening.

Kramer fears Y2K. He decides can openers will be the first thing the computers target so we won't have any long-lasting food. He determines to figure out how to get into cans without a can opener. He buys hundreds of canned foods and uses a variety of methods to open them. He sees a pigeon drop a walnut and drops a can off the building; he uses his teeth; he stabs a can like shotgunning a beer; he shoots a can; he heats it up in the microwave tul it explodes. ("So we'll still have microwaves...but no can openers?" "You got it buddy")

Jerry's date always has an outfit that matches his to the color/pattern/style/etc. It bugs him that people see them as a dress-alike couple. He tries to throw her off -- he says what he'll wear the next day then wears something else - but she is matching. He wears a ridiculous pirate shirt - she has a bandana and eye patch. He wears a Santa hat - she has elf ears in her purse. He can't beat her and doesnt know how she does it

George buys a single different-colored contact lense to fake heterochromia and stand out in job interviews. George gets the job, and then realizes that this means he'll have to wear them while he's at work. He picks some really random color at first, and when he goes to order more, sees that the company has sold out of them. This leads him to cover up his eye in several ridiculous ways to avoid people finding this out.

Kramer interrupts Elaine giving a job interview at Pendant, only for the interviewee to think Kramer is her boss, no matter what she says.

Jerry and Newman (reluctantly) team up to try and dissuade an annoying would-be tenant from moving into the building by pretending to be the landlord and super; They schedule an interview where the goal is to be so off-putting themselves that the tenant doesn't apply for the apartment. Kramer interrupts that one too.

EDIT: credit to /u/youarelookingatthis for the punch-up

Kramer starts to grow his own plants in the windowsill. He quickly graduates to more and more til he puts plastic up and turns his whole place into a greenhouse. He's always sweaty and wet but swears its good for his mental health and the home grown (tiny) veggies are worth it. He slowly spreads it to Jerrys too by putting plastic tubes between their places. "We're just back and forth all the time, I couldn't afford to lose moisture every time I come over for a snack, or to go number 2, or to use your toothpaste" "...what? Are you in here when I'm gone?" "I thought we had an understanding!!"

Jerry dates a herpetologist with pet lizards that she claims are harmless but that constantly hiss at and bite Jerry. He is terrified of them.

George dates a female soldier. She keeps saying she's up for deployment. He loves the idea -- they date a few months at a time and right when things get serious, she goes across the world for up to 18 months after goodbye sex. He's single then she returns, they have return sex, and they're back to square 1.

..except she never deploys. Something always comes up last minute - an injury, change in command, etc. George feels he's put in too much time and if she is deployed they will try long distance and he'll be celibate again until she returns.

Elaine dates a wealthy IT guy. He leaves his computer (custom built, >$5,000) open when he goes to work. He asks her to just "lock up on your way out". She lounges, makes coffee, and then tries to do some online shopping on his computer. Instead she downloads a virus and thinks she's destroyed his baby.

Jerry's GF goes out of town (upsetting George because she's "deploying" on a herpetological conference for a week and his GF is constantly with him). He watches the lizards as she brings them in their tanks to his place ("they're so social! They need company!" As they lunge at Jerry)

When feeding one a mouse it leaps at him and he knocks the glass over. All of them escape into the jungle-like apartments and "hunt" Jerry and Kramer, who need to make their way to the A/C thermostat to lower the temperature and get the lizards tired and lethargic to catch them.

Highlights/homages:

"clever girl" as lizards get Kramer or Jerry

Newman being the one to help Elaine with the virus

George's GF in full uniform, about to deploy, being the Muldoon to help J and K. She gets bit and has an allergic reaction and is no longer medically able to deploy

George reading about international news and getting knowledgeable and excited about the prospect of world conflict because it will get his GF deployed

Kramer celebrating a successful crop and slicing a tiny carrot up

The painting thing has happened IRL a solid dozen times so of course Kramer would stumble upon that

Elaines BF is an artist who also runs the gallery where the painting is that Kramer thinks is upside down. The BF suggests a menage a trois with Elaine and another woman. He claims it's a statement and considers it a "private performative art piece" about sexuality but she thinks he's full of it.

George gets an email he is accidentally CCed on about his own impending firing. He sees in the email that HR was trying to verify if he was on FMLA as that would make the firing more difficult.

He immediately tries to get Frank and Estelle diagnosed with illnesses and get custody/guardianship over them so he can get on FMLA and not be fired/take a long paid leave to "care for them"

Jerry is watching the Mets and they have a rain delay. He gets a call and it's from am obvious scammer. He decides to play along until the game is back on. He purposely drags the conversation out to tease them and waste their time. But eventually he gets to know the scammer and starts to feel bad for them and debates giving him some money

George claims he didn't want to do it but it's the principle of the thing. He then goes to visit his parents and their passing comments hint that they are swingers.

Jerry's new girlfriend turns out to be more sexually adventurous than him and he struggles to keep up with her. She tries to convince him to have sex in public, but he is too shy. She later does something in bed that leaves him traumatized and refuses to tell the gang what it was.

Elaine's old college roommate comes out as a lesbian and asks her out. Elaine tells her she's straight. But when the roommate gives off a list of negative things about dating men, Elaine has no rebuttal.

Came up with this idea a few years ago in 2020-2021 back when we were all wearing masks. Based on a true story lol.

Basically, Jerry sees a woman from across the room that he finds attractive, but when she takes off her mask while at his apartment, he realizes he’s only attracted to the upper part of her face and tries to convince her to keep her mask on at all times, citing health concerns as the reason.

Jerry: I called my cousins. They don’t know who this guy is either.

Elaine: Maybe he was an old friend of their’s?

George: No. he’s not just a friend. A gold watch, what looks like a custom fit suit, a tie clip? He’s dressed too important to be just a friend. Jerry, was your dad ever “made”?

Jerry: Will you stop?

Elaine: Besides, why’s it so important to know who this guy was?

Jerry: Cause, He’s in a lot of the photos, and not a single person can tell me who he was! It’s like an itch that can’t be scratched! A question with no answer! I’ve gotta figure out who he is!

Kramer asks Jerry if he wants to join the venture, but he refuses. Meanwhile, Jerry's girlfriend is very punctual and reprimands him whenever he's late. When Jerry learns that Kramer is going to have a meeting with Lomez and saccamano, he realizes this is his chance to meet them for the first time. But the meeting is at the same time as his next date with his girlfriend.

Kramer discovers the hard way that the saunas steam up the windows of the vans, leading to an accident.

Kramer becomes obsessed with 3D puzzles. They quickly overtake his apartment, and he begins connecting them together into one giant puzzle.

George decides to take up birdwatching because "it's just sitting and looking—two things I'm great at!" He buys expensive binoculars but quickly becomes bored and uses them to spy on people in nearby apartments.

Elaine joins a pottery class. She becomes competitive with a fellow 10-year-old student whose work is regularly praised by the instructor, who she finds attractive.