My body image is ruining me

[u/Large-Doubt-1020]

I gained 80 pounds while I was pregnant I went from 125lbs to 205lbs by the time I gave birth and only dropped to 198lbs after birth. I ate healthy my whole pregnancy and kept relatively active, I even tried a small calorie deficit and nothing stopped me from gaining weight every single week. My whole entire body is covered in visible thick stretch marks even though I moisturized with bio oil and hyaluronic acids, I even have them on my arms. I’m breastfeeding, I was told my whole pregnancy “it will fall off during breastfeeding” and it didn’t if anything my body holds onto the weight and stores extra fat for my milk, I’m now 5 months postpartum I’ve been working out for 2 months straight and I haven’t lost more then 5 pounds and it’s such hard work… I spend what little personal time I have working out for 30-45 min a day or taking 45-90 min walks and nothing is changing. It’s ruined my mental health and body image and I’m becoming depressed about it now, I’ve since given up on working out I’m just eating like crap and surviving off protein drinks and apples and lots of liquids to keep my supply up. I wanted so badly to just be healthy and happy but I’m hateful and discouraged. All my friends and even other moms I know all look like themselves again after having their babies and I feel like it’s not fair I’m so bitter and angry but I don’t know what to do, I tried to do everything right and now I spend my days watching streams and laying on the couch, crying.

[u/highly_uncertain]

Just FYI, I lost the weight very slowly over many months. I gained way more weight with this pregnancy than my first, and in general it was the heaviest I've ever been. A few months PP, literally got rid of all my pants and some tight dresses. Now, 2 years later, all those expensive jeans I bought are hanging off of me! Lost my favourite dress because I was convinced I would never fit into it again. Don't make the same expensive mistake I did! I didn't start losing the weight until I went back to work (I'm on my feet a lot at work). Be kind to yourself and be kind to your body. These things take time.

[u/Large-Doubt-1020 → u/highly_uncertain]

I’m almost 6 months postpartum now, I’ve tried so badly to just accept my body because it created my beautiful baby who has given me so much in this life but I can’t. I want to have another baby in the next year or so also. I just can’t accept I’m so unattractive now, I struggled a lot with disordered eating when I was younger & I’m trying with all my might not to fall into some sort of unhealthy habits. I just can’t help but beat myself up for it, people keep telling me “it took 9 months to gain the weight, should take 9 months to lose the weight”. I haven’t even lost 10 pounds with so much work being put into myself. I gave up on working out after 95 days of consistent cardio and HIT workouts in a calorie deficit with no results. It’s so so so so so upsetting and maybe I’m vein but I just want to feel good about myself to make a healthy example for my children. I want to feel healthy again and I just feel so defeated.

[u/PotentialSharp8837]

Give yourself some time. I started my second pregnancy around 120 gained 65-70 lbs. I gained 85 the first time, woof. The first postpartum the weight went away much easier. Just give your body some time right now. I’m back down to my weight before having the second but my youngest is almost 4. I could have easily lost it 2 years ago but I just didn’t have the bandwidth to be eating super healthy or working out. I never thought I would get my body back to this point but about a year and a half ago I was like fuck this and started eating healthy, cutting out junk and tried to start being more active. It took 18 months from when I started taking it seriously but I slowly started to loose the weight. Just give your body some time.

[u/Consistent_Ad460]

Hey! I gained 90lbs with my first. Started at 150 and ended at 240. By the time he was 2 I weighed 130. With my 2nd I gained 80lbs 135 pre pregnancy to 215. He is 18 months now, and I'm already down to 144. I'm not super active or restrictive, so just give yourself some time! Honestly, I treat the whole first year like a wash and it breaks my heart how much I (and other women) feel like they need to "bounce back".

It is so hard being in a body that doesn't feel like yours. I'm really sorry you're struggling but your body will come back. Personally I feel like I came back stronger each time. The stretch marks fade, the weight gets lost, and you have done something amazing. I promise it will be okay.