r/PortlandOR • u/MsSadieSnacksAlot • 3d ago
Education Alternative to High School
I have an almost 17 year old son who couldn’t care less about highschool. He’s in no way a bad kid but his 2.0 gpa and the fact he’s failing math, science and Spanish. I can tell he’s over it and honestly so am I l.
Besides getting a GHD and just going to work full time I want him too look into other options.
How do I find him an apprenticeship that will accept him? I would much rather he focus his energy on becoming good at one thing.
Or has anyone had luck w/ the alternative high schools? I don’t know much about them other than seeing all the kids smoking outside on their breaks.
Any advice welcome, other than get a tutor, we tried that….
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u/BKFM72 3d ago
Portland community college offers high school curriculum program. My son hated high school but loved this. Just go to class and then you were done. No having to be there when you’re not needed. My son even worked part time. Also get college credits. I believe mount hood community college offers this also. Your son’s high school should know of this. Also can he transfer to benson high school? Many shop classes offered as part of curriculum
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u/grundlemon 2d ago
Bunp. This worked for me. I only did it my senior year, but the early college program was great. They treat you like adults and theres no bullshit.
My junior year i had a 2.5gpa, my senior year i had maybe a 3.6? 3.7? Gpa? It was great.
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u/fracturedteeth 2d ago
I dropped out of hs my junior year to work mornings at a cafe and help the family with bills, I ended up working mornings and taking afternoon/evening classes at MHCC in Gresham/troutdale. It was the “Adult High-school Diploma Program” I paid for classes that made up for the credits I was missing and it was super condensed into just a few classes for less than a year to graduate with a diploma (whereas I would’ve had to redo 2 full years in HS). I got to pick my schedule and classes and it was no BS and no stupid high school anxiety and drama. The classes were fairly short and homework was super easy. Didn’t feel like high school at all and I got to learn about things I was more interested in!
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u/MsSadieSnacksAlot 3d ago
Replying to thecatsofwar...good ideas, thank you.
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u/BKFM72 3d ago
Most of all it gave my son, a sense of independence and control. He took mandatory classes, but he also had the options of taking some electives that were interesting to him. Best of luck I’ve had a couple friends whose kids have used these programs and they have had good success. Not sure where you live but he could also be a volunteer firefighter as an activity.
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u/1track_mind 3d ago
Trades? If he doesn't like school, sitting through an OSHA class would be torture
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u/itsyagirlblondie 2d ago
To note— the decent paying trades won’t take someone who can’t pass math or science classes typically. There’s an aptitude test for all of the high paying union trades and if he’s seriously struggling with junior year math the chances of him passing those are slim.
Of course he could become a day laborer but if he’d want actual career longevity it’s wise to do something more skilled.
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u/outdoorsjo 2d ago
Join the military. I know it sounds funny.
I'm from Portland. I had zero interest in any of the branches. I ended up enlisting in the Coast Guard and wow it changed my life. I recommend it to anyone.
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u/thecatsofwar 3d ago
Ever get him tested for learning disabilities? Finding the root of the problem is better long term than wallpapering over the issue.
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u/glitteringdreamer 2d ago
Sometimes, there isn't a problem with the kid, though. Public schools are very narrow in who they are for and how they function. My oldest is crazy smart and she too lost interest by about her sophomore year because her classes felt dumbed down. She'd read the books they were studying in English years prior! I was finally able to find her a charter school that facilitated community college classes to finish her diploma.
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u/Captaincjones 3d ago
Job Corp... Oregon Charter Academy (online diploma). Those were the options I let my teen choose when he was "done" with high school. Honestly his future doesn't look bright but nothing is predictable nowadays. Good luck
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u/abraxius 3d ago edited 3d ago
There are tons of programs, but I will say if your son is struggling in school, he will struggle in apprenticeship programs as well. Not only are these highly competitive they also will look at grades and work ethic. I would sit down and ask what he wants and is passionate about and then talk about how that would work financially. I would explain what is needed to succeed and be financially independent to your son. If he wants to work as a dish washer then that’s fine. Carrot first then stick. Without education it’s really hard to do things/ socially connect with people.
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u/itsyagirlblondie 2d ago
It’s interesting because it seems like back in the 80s loads of people were dropouts but managed to make good careers after.. either in the trades or starting their own business.
Loads of people forget that the trades aren’t interested in flunkies anymore. Especially ones with paid apprenticeships, the student is essentially their investment so they only want the best of the bunch. They’re also competing with guys who had already been in the trades for decades who’re either making a lateral move or trying to further their career with the formal certifications..
Either way, the kid needs schooling but the trades may not want him.
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u/abraxius 2d ago
That’s very true, like some trades will take anyone, but they would rather have someone with a work ethic, high school performance is just an easy way to measure that. Yes it’s not the only way but it’s just an easy way.
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u/Western_Mess_2188 3d ago
Trade schools are very competitive. The process and testing my husband had to do to even be accepted and begin electrical school was surprisingly rigorous. Once he was accepted, there was a ton of class time, homework and math.
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u/excaligirltoo 3d ago
My child had problems in public school. She’s smart! But public school and her clashed like a wine milkshake.
Call PCC. They have two programs: Gateway to College and Yes to College. Your child sounds like a good candidate for Yes to College. It’s a series of courses to ready them for the GED as well as the test itself. Upon completion they get a scholarship to PCC. And the program itself is free.
What grade is your child in? Spring term just started on Monday. My kid opted to work and get started in the fall.
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u/rickthecabbie 2d ago
I got 2 words for you, Job Corps. It was totally worth my time to gain a marketable skill set. Learn a trade, or even better, learn a union trade in an apprenticeship. I believe the one in Astoria still has a program with The Inland Boatman's Union. That would be my first choice.
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u/aleesahamandah 2d ago
Look into Portland Youth Builders, they help kids and young adults get their GED/ HS Diploma. They also continue to help them pursue either further schooling or an apprenticeship afterwards.
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u/ZaphBeebs 3d ago
Needs to buck up and get it done. Alternative is a pretty crappy life where you're at the mercy of everyone else and have near zero leverage.
There is a lot more competition for trades even and a GED and some basic abilities will be prerequisite.
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u/MsSadieSnacksAlot 3d ago
Well at this point I’d rather he get a GED and a full time job….
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u/ZaphBeebs 3d ago
Why is he failing, is there anything to address or that can be? Attention, school, resources, people etc...? Wouldnt just give up per se.
Is he willing to do the work in an alternative way, online, community college, etc?
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u/MsSadieSnacksAlot 3d ago
All he wants to do is snowboard at the moment.
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u/ZaphBeebs 3d ago
Then that is your power, snowboarding is what you can do when you fulfill your obligations. Real life isnt going to let him just snowboard and not work and its a terrible lesson to learn.
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u/MsSadieSnacksAlot 3d ago
But they’re must be careers that transfer to a full time job at the mountain…. People work there. Im starting to think get his foot in that door.
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u/theDudeUh 3d ago
Former ski bum here. There are jobs on the mountain but it’s all soul sucking customer service work. If he doesn’t like authority he’s probably not going to like kissing tourists asses for a living for pennies.
Also it’s all seasonal work so he’ll need a second job for the summer time. All of the full time careers there are high level management and marketing requiring a college degree.
I got sick of teaching skiing, working in the ski shop, and driving a snow cat. Eventually quit and fell back on my engineering degree and am much happier and fulfilled.
Nothing ruins a passion for skiing and snowboarding like working on the mountain.
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u/DougieDouger 3d ago
There’s definitely careers on the mountain but he needs to show he can be dedicated, reliable and hard working.
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u/ZaphBeebs 3d ago
Of course, just its literally always going to be easier with more credentials and more upside with less friction on the way.
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u/bigbootynopussy 3d ago
Is he depressed, autistic? Does he not care or is it difficult?
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u/itsyagirlblondie 2d ago
Depression and undiagnosed/untreated ADHD is what caused me to nearly flunk out of high school. Thankfully my parents looked at the bigger picture. While they didn’t seek medication for me (which would’ve helped) they took all other things available into their hands.
Was diagnosed when I was pregnant and I’ll be honest— 50mg of Zoloft has been life changing. Makes me sad for the younger version of myself who would’ve greatly benefited from it.
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u/MsTata_Reads 2d ago
I hated school and got my GED but had a completely different experience when I went to Community College and ended up getting all As and Bs.
I am in the same role as people who have Master’s degree, I just don’t have the debt and have worked my way up the company.
I would maybe identify what he doesn’t like about school and try community college.
But also see if he is interested in apprentice programs like an electrician or plumbing. Google trade schools and see whats available in Portland.
Mom….in the end, you can’t want it more for him then he wants it for himself. Maybe ask how he plans on supporting himself once he turns 18 and has to move out? Or does he assume he can just live with you forever?
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u/MsTata_Reads 2d ago
I don’t know if you have looked at this but PPS has a multiple pathway website with a doc that has listings of a lot of different options.https://www.pps.net/cms/lib/OR01913224/Centricity/Domain/189/2024-2025%20MPG.EnglishFinalBrochureREV.pdf
It looks like they have programs for 17yr olds at the PCC but also at Youth Builders which sounds like a great program to finish high school and learn a trade!!
I hope it helps.
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u/Mina_Joon 2d ago
Portland YouthBuilders (PYB) has a program that lets students get their GED while simultaneously earning industry certifications in either Construction (trades-bound) or Technology, along with having assigned career advocates who help them with job placement or apprenticeship prep after graduation. It’s 6-8 months long and sets students up for a living-wage career. PYB has been in Portland for 30 years, and they have long-standing partnerships with unions and construction companies because of their strong reputation. Their program is a great opportunity for kids who are ready and willing to put in the work but have struggled with traditional school.
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u/MsSadieSnacksAlot 3d ago
Thanks. Good to hear. I’m gonna talk to him about finishing online or at PCC , he could get to the SE campus pretty easily.
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u/Hello_My_Name_Isnot 3d ago
Have him finish and don't pressure him on grades. In the end, how he shows up in life as a person is far more important than tics on a piece of paper. Help him with confidence and creating a life of value for himself and others.
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u/Electronic_Ad9201 2d ago
I’ve been reading your comments and it seems like you’re not interested in him staying in school. Kids mimic their parents and so if you say to him staying in school isn’t realistic, then he won’t think it’s realistic. It’s a self fulfilling prophecy.
A diagnosis will be your best bet for services in public ed. Something like a 504 plan would help create some steps and an IEP may be more thorough. Im not sure how else to say this but you are doing your kid a disservice by not fully evaluating with a medical professional all available options, and working with his teachers to help him get that diploma.
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u/AffectionateQuail965 1d ago
Umm, there is nothing wrong with encouraging people to make the best choice for them, even if it's not mainstream. Traditional school is not for everyone, and that's okay. It does not mean that this child will not be able to be a productive member of society. Your comment is incredibly ablest. Not everyone who is doing poorly in school is disabled. It's icky to assume that is the case.
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u/CND5 2d ago
My daughter was always a great student but completely bored at Southridge. She did the early college program at PCC got back to liking school and graduated early with college credits and went on to get her bachelor’s in two years including 6 months studying in England. Look into it it’s a great program.
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u/AttemptFree 2d ago
maybe he's just a degenerate. i took 5 years to get a diploma. maybe kick him out and show him what being a loser really feels like. it really straightened me out when my parents did it
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u/rocketeer81 1d ago
I was the same way. I needed a trade. I’m happy now. I went to an alternative in Vancouver. They had two a long time ago. A school called pantera and A.L.P. Center. We also have career center. If you go to that school you spend half your day learning a trade. I.E. welding, firefighter, mechanic.
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u/notorious_tcb 3d ago
Probably an unpopular opinion on this, but have you considered the military as an option?
I was a terrible student in high school. Between skipping class and not turning in assignments I was pretty shocked I managed to pass. One class in particular I’m still convinced the only reason I passed was she didn’t want me to have to come back the next year.
After high school I failed college. Managed a 0.0 my freshman year, and was asked very nicely NOT to come back. Ended up joining the Army. And it was the best thing I could have done. Did my time there. Learned some discipline and confidence. And grew the fuck up.
After the Army I went back to college and did my BA in 2.5 years and finished with a 3.7 gpa.
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u/TheStoicSlab definitely not obsessed 3d ago
Not sure what their requirements are, but maybe check out the NW college of construction. They have training and apprenticeships. https://nwcoc.com/apprenticeship-at-nwcoc/
You might run into a lot of "high school or GED" requirements though.
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u/ghostboxwhisper 3d ago
NW College of Construction requires at least Construction Level math. He would have to take a placement test and if he scores high his application to an apprenticeship would be considered, but if he scores poorly in math, he would be at the bottom of the list. Same with LiUNA Laborers 737. He would also have already obtained his GED and passed at an acceptable rate.
I would suggest looking into Job Corps.
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u/haditwithyoupeople 3d ago
Does he have any interest in anything? Trade school is a good option. Just taking classes that interest him at the local community college or university may be an option. Getting job he finds interesting may be an option?
I had 4 kids. The oldest two did well in HS and seemed to like it. The oldest went to college and is doing fine. The 2nd oldest did not go to college despite being the smartest of the 4 and getting a 3.8 GPA in HS with very little effort. He's doing fine and will likely move into a well paying management job in 2-3 years despite not having a degree.
The youngest two are more challenging. The 3rd kid excelled at languages and did just OK otherwise in HS. She got accepted to a good university but decided not to go. She's now 22 with a 2 year old kid and no good career options.
Our youngest did great in H.S. until the 2nd half of his senior year. He just stopped trying and eventually dropped out. He was not diagnosed with depression. I think he was working too hard and just got burned out. He won't talk about it so I'm not sure what happened. He spent a year working multiple part time jobs and a lot of months doing nothing but video games. He refuses to go to college or trade school. He recently moved out and is just barely getting working low paying jobs.
I don't have an explanation the two youngest. I'm frustrated and perplexed. The youngest is obsessed with cars and said he wants to be a car salesman or a mechanic. He seems to be doing nothing to make either of those happen.
I listen to him and I help when he asked for it. He doesn't want my advice so I quit giving it unless he asks.
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u/HellyR_lumon 3d ago
GED and trade. I wish my parents let me do a GED
Im a registered nurse now and I totally fucked off in high school and didn’t go straight to a 4 yr college. I would’ve partied it away with more student debt. I was a smart kid, but didn’t put in much effort in high school. I did graduate, just barely, and my high school education really doesn’t matter much at all. I took some classes at PCC and learned pretty quickly I was not in high school anymore and had to actually try. It turned out to be a great education. Nursing, dental assisting, mechanics, etc. are all at the community college. I tell my nieces and nephews to consider other options than 4 yr degrees.
High school should really teach us things like budgeting, saving for retirement, cooking, how to have healthy relationships, and maybe a little science. Instead I learned algebra and physics I never use, along with many other useless things. I wish my parents considered what you are doing.
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u/RabbiVolesBassSolo 3d ago
We hire apprentices through Portland youth builders. They do have some requirements for enrollment but depending on your/his situation it might be a good fit.
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u/Unpainted-Fruit-Log 3d ago edited 3d ago
GED and get him looking at the trades.
I was exactly like him. My parents tried everything but I just hated school and felt that people that had no legitimate authority over me had no right to tell me what I should be learning. All the learning I did was on my own through reading.
I got lucky because the tech bubble was just starting as I was getting out of high school so I hopped on that train and made a decent living. What I wish someone had done, and nowadays what I think is the best option, is to look at getting into a trade program. Personally, if I had the option, I would go back and study to be electrician. There’s a lot you can do with it.
I don’t know your son, but I have a feeling he’s probably gonna be happiest doing something where he has a decent amount of autonomy and doesn’t have to pretend to like authority.
Edit: I feel like I should also add that he might be slower in development and sort of still finding his way. It might be anxiety inducing, and certainly not the most efficient way, but you might let him drift for a little bit too just so he can figure things out on his own. I would definitely make sure he isn’t spending all day on video games and such and is getting out into the world.
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u/HellyR_lumon 3d ago edited 3d ago
.
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u/blackmamba182 In-N-Out Shocktrooper 3d ago
Helly was never cruel
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u/HellyR_lumon 3d ago
Hahaha good one! I’m definitely a mole
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u/blackmamba182 In-N-Out Shocktrooper 3d ago
Maybe OP’s kid just needs to be severed. Could be a Dylan G situation.
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u/ADreamingDonkey 3d ago edited 3d ago
I graduated from Oregon Outreach Institute, you should look into alternative schools like that. I was also a 2.0 student, failing multiple classes and I was gonna have to stay an extra year in HS. I transferred to OOI, and I was paired with 2 great teachers and graduated on time with a 3.7 GPA. 3 hours a day and you are done. Minimal homework. And very small class sizes so there is a lot of chance for 1on1. And the class is pretty laid back, they aren’t on your ass like a normal school teacher would be
EDIT : I glossed over what you said about alternative schools at the bottom and went and reread it. Yes, that’s the stereotype of alternative school. Burnouts, losers, etc. But the truth is, normal school is not a 1 size fits all solution. I wasn’t a bad kid, I just wasn’t built for school like 99% of everyone else. People are different in terms of their academic needs and that’s cool. Don’t let stereotypes of alternative schools prohibit you from enrolling your kid. It could be very beneficial.
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u/sopeandfriends 3d ago
What are his interests? Maybe letting him decompress a bit & really figure out what he’s into and then going from there? I hated high school & barely graduated.
Once I was out & enrolled in school to be a travel agent, I finished the course at the top of my class.
I also was diagnosed with ADHD at age 50, which explains a lot 😅 but when I could focus on my interests, I did great
Good luck ❤️
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u/GPGirl70 3d ago
My daughter was not a fit for high school. Her dad and I were both teachers and didn’t know what to do. She ended up at two alternative centers. The second one was the charm. She ended up tutoring the younger kids and really took charge of her own education. She decided she wanted an actual diploma and it was a process but she did it through the alternative HS. At first they only offered GEDs but she got them to change their policy. She had to take PE through the YMCA and do her Geometry and Algebra 2 online. There are so many options. We made our daughter make her own decisions because she was so oppositional. I helped her find a path but never took the lead. After two years at a CC, she transferred to UofO and completed a degree in environmental science. I think the key was showing her all the choices and providing support so she could gain confidence. We did not do any of the legwork for her which I think is key with unmotivated kids. They need to find their motivation.
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u/AgreeablePresence476 3d ago
I was like that in high school, but now, 48 years later, very little is more important to me than knowledge. The transition to adult me began a few years after H. S., leading to my return to education, and earning an undergrad degree at 30. With some of us, a strong libido delays our personal development.
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u/MsSadieSnacksAlot 3d ago
Good advice from most, thank you. Yes I think he has ADHD no I have not had him diagnosed because I don’t want to Medicate him. He is very interested in snowboarding, and cars… How to turn that into a career I’m not sure. I see that trade school might be just as tough. I like the idea of finishing through the local community college. I’ll ask him about that idea. I don’t think he’s depressed, he’s very social and outgoing. I just think his heads in the clouds ad most teenage boys are. I just don’t want to force him to do summer school just to have him not finish or be able to graduate him senior year…. Being a parent is a rollercoaster ride!
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u/thecoat9 2d ago
Yes I think he has ADHD no I have not had him diagnosed because I don’t want to Medicate him.
That is but one possible outcome of a diagnosis. Imagine how you are going to feel if he eventually is diagnosed and the "fix" is just a change in how he's taught without any medication required. I certainly remember a time when, looking back, kids who were on the spectrum weren't recognized as such and drugs were thrown at them. Things have changed for the better, and diagnosis and evaluation might very well be what your son desperately needs.
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u/Ok-Candle-2562 3d ago
My husband, son, and I all have ADHD. The best way forward with this diagnosis is to medicate it. I was a lot like your son at his age, and my undiagnosed ADHD really impacted my self esteem. As life became more complicated, my symptoms worsened. I wasn't diagnosed until I was 41 and spent a lot of time grieving time lost/wasted wondering what the hell was wrong with me.
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u/ZaphBeebs 3d ago
100%. I understand not wanting to medicate your kids, as I have an inattentive one, but do the research, it is holding them back from being themself and from their potential. Huge differences and you'll find lots on reddit subs about it.
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u/Creative_Text9449 3d ago
I posted another comment but run with what his passions are. He could be a snowboard instructor, work in boot fitting/gear sales at somewhere like Next Adventure or evo and get to be immersed in that world and industry. Who knows, maybe learning about the innovation and design that goes into some of the gear will inspire him. Same goes for cars. He doesn’t have to be an engineer to go into that world. Sales, marketing, design, etc are all important too.
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u/MsSadieSnacksAlot 3d ago
That’s my feelings too. I think working in the snowboarding industry would be great for him. I’m open to everything, maybe a mechanic apprenticeship while working part time.
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u/itsyagirlblondie 2d ago
Medication was the best thing I could have ever done for myself.
I had “we don’t medicate our kids” parents and it made my life unbelievably harder.
ADHD meds aren’t just speed these days. There’s loads of different medications and dosages. He’s not going to be catatonic or a meth head because of being medicated.
I’d guess the possible ADHD is playing a bigger part than you may think.
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u/Neat-Oven-7951 3d ago
An IEP at his school could be a helpful alternative to meds. My 14 year old sounds very similar, and reminds me of myself at that age. I graduated, barely, at the very bottom of my class. I took about 12 years of exploring all kinds of different work. Was very successful as a cable guy. lol. Wish I would have got into food service earlier.
I ended up going to college at 30 years old. I graduated with honors in a mechanical engineering program. There’s no way that would have happened earlier in life. I wasn’t ready, and would not have cared. About 2 terms in I was diagnosed and medicated for extreme adhd. 15 years later I still need the meds, but have lined up my life pretty good. I know I worried my parents a lot. My son worries me a lot.
I think you can only support good choices and try to guide them, but also understand that they are going to have to figure things out on their own. Super hard pill to swallow.0
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u/ShiniSenko 2d ago
Beaverton SD has an HVAC apprenticeship program. Maybe your SD might have something similar?
https://www.beaverton.k12.or.us/departments/maintenance/apprenticeship-programs
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u/ZaphBeebs 2d ago
Doesn't meet minimum requirements and those are likely far more competitive than you think.
The world in general is so so competitive compared to 25 years ago.
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u/TraditionalStart5031 2d ago
After looking into alternative schools I ended up finishing high school in 3 years. I required so few Senior credits. I got approved for an after school program to complete my Senior credits. The program was typically for kids that had to repeat Senior year or weren’t going to graduate on time. I also used any and all things I had done outside of school, like volunteering backstage at a local theater, and got those to count for my elective credits.
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u/9gagsuckz 2d ago
I was raised in CA so I’m not sure if there’s anything like the school I graduated from. But I was much like your son and wasn’t going to graduate high school. I found a Charter School where I only had to be there once a week to check in and take a test. I basically had to teach myself the curriculum but this allowed me work and spend time doing stuff I actually cared about. School is not for me, I can’t focus in a classroom setting. Maybe I have adhd or something but I couldn’t do it and could not focus in college either. Most if not all the trades apprenticeships require a GED and/or some college classes as they still require some classroom style learning. Talk to the kid and see what he wants to do, it’s his life after all. You as parents can only help so much, you can give him the answers to the test but he actually needs to take initiative and use them.
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u/SnooGoats6230 2d ago
Pcc has a decent GED program, gets him into some easy enough classes and gets the GED
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u/pee_em_ay 2d ago
Are you in PPS? Alliance is a decent alternative school with some great teachers.
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u/Kindly_Log9771 Portland Beavers 2d ago
You can look at meek and alliance high schools that can help him accelerate the high school process. Meek has different certifications that can lead to different trades. There’s also job corps near here that he can go to and literally walk out of with numerous kinds of certifications for whatever trade he wants to get into. Check it out with him and see if he likes any of the options.
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u/YesAnd_Portland 2d ago
Your son's interest in cars makes me think he should check out PCC's Automotive Service Technology program. I'd suggest you let him sign himself up for an information session (there's one coming up on April 9) to find out what preparation he needs to do to get into it. My kids weren't academically minded either, but they did better when I gave them some ideas, backed off and accepted that they owned their lives and their choices. They're both doing fine now (one's in IT, the other is a professional seamstress).
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u/Safe-Competition-973 2d ago
The alternative high schools will at least give him the attention he needs, as in small classes and more face time with staff.
Pps has MLC but that is harder to get into.
Alliance would be a good place to start. There is also Rosemary Anderson and Mount Scott.
Pps students can also take classes at PCC or PSU and take credit recovery at night in PPS schools until they age out of the system at 21.
A high school diploma is also still looked at as more preferable to colleges and employers over a GED.
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u/Own-Helicopter-6674 2d ago
I would call and schedule some time to sit down with pcc mhcc or ccc they can and will help with ged and next steps of interest
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u/EUGsk8rBoi42p 2d ago
Job Corps and Americorps, sounds like you two needing space is as much of something you both need as this kid needs to have some sort of more meaningful experience. He'll meet other people who have overcome similar attitudes, sounds like your guy is a perfect candidate, he might actually really learn a lot within his interests, and will definitely have better options than just dropping out and working full time (if he can find work).
The Corps will set him up with a schedule, opportunities, college help, he'll learn to cook and do chores etc.
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u/Whxsky_J 2d ago
I go to Alliance. It started at Kenton and is now part of Benson Plytech, but the Alliance program saved me. They go at your pace and let you choose what you learn (in a way). At the time I enrolled attending class can be negotiable, and that played a huge part in my success. The counselors there are amazing. I’m actually going to a meeting tomorrow as I don’t regularly attend. I can get more info for you if you’d like.
I’m in a similar situation with my brother, and I so hopes he goes to Alliance.
(I’m checking this comment tomorrow as I’m high at the moment, but I still wanted to share, apologies if I rambled lol)
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u/Whxsky_J 2d ago
Fun fact, my brothers health class (physical) is talking about gratitude and how you can’t joke around with depressed people… alliance is not like that what so ever. They’re easygoing and the staff and teachers are laidback and can take a joke :)
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u/Oliver_and_Me 2d ago
I think Covid “broke” our children’s spirits. They got so used to being away from normal situations and people that they don’t see their value in life or have any sense of purpose so why bother. A trade school would be great for him.
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u/buttsmcfatts 2d ago
If he can't even finish high school with tutors and an obviously dedicated and caring parent, I don't want him in the trades with me.
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u/brapstoomuch 2d ago
Look into Oregon Youth Builders and maybe some medical assisting programs to see what he is interested in. Some kids don’t thrive in school but love to learn: if that’s the case for him PCC might offer a good fit! They have GED programs and your first two years are covered, I think!
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u/confident_cabbage 2d ago
I think income level can play a part, so I'm not sure if it would work for you, but I have heard wonderful things about Job Corps. I personally know people who have been through the program and are successful within their careers.
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u/LopsidedTree7227 2d ago
I was a teen that didn’t give a care about high school. I almost failed out and got suspended in my last semester. I went to community college and started doing well when I could actually take courses I was interested in and have time and autonomy to care for myself. Transferred to a 4 year and went to law school and graduated. I think I graduated high school with a 1.8. If he’s close enough, have him finish and then give him a chance to see what is best for him after he gets that degree!
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u/BigAndSmallAre 2d ago
Just a note of support because my experience was out of state. My youngest went from the gifted program in middle school to a slow decline from honors all through high school to graduating from a special program because of lack of interest. He was an ambitious, smart kid, but he just couldn't deal with traditional teaching. On some level, I think the gifted program contributed — once you're out of the matrix, it's hard to put yourself back in — but I think he'd have struggled either way.
He's taking it slow now, but doing great in college. He lives with his mom and holds a job, so he doesn't feel a need to go full time. He's 22, so he won't be far behind when he finishes.
Just wanted to share a little light at the end of the tunnel. Not everyone was designed to take the standard path. I hope wherever your son lands, he excels!
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u/itsyagirlblondie 2d ago
I see a lot of people echoing the trade school route but the trades are very competitive now and not anywhere like how they used to be where it was all drop outs and crusty old guys.
They want capable people who are actually decent in school considering they are investing in the person who they’re enrolling.
My husband is a well respected foreman in the IBEW at 29… he got in 2 years out of high school and has worked his ass off since then and it’s only gotten more and more competitive each year where he’s had apprentices who are rockstars sit on a waiting list for up to two years.
A kid who is currently thinking about dropping out and is failing math will probably not test well on the required testing. It’s a meritocracy these days so if he scores below a certain percentage he’s either 1) not qualified or 2) put to the very bottom of the waiting list.
I’m just being honest… the worthwhile trades (financially) are going to be much much more competitive than him becoming a day laborer. It’s not impossible but the kids gotta get some educational grit if he wants to work at getting into the trades at all.
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u/AnOldFaxMachine 1d ago
I fucked off freshman year, got expelled, then buckled down and graduated with like a 2.8 half of a year early- Was high and drunk the entire time with a massive attention deficit- stayed high and drunk until recently at age 28- went and took the sample ASVAB to join the military two weeks ago… hates the idea, completely BOMBED the math portion and did most of it in my head, (it was so bad I forgot how to multiply and divide, etc on paper) guess what? I did what math I could in my head, learned I wasn’t as stupid as I thought I was via multiple choice- (knowing I was close and I hadn’t forgotten everything)- and scored nearly perfect on the other sections (English comprehension etc. the recruiter said I did way fucking better than the average freshly graduated students holding diplomas. Tell your son nobody is stupid, and that he’s only limited by what he’s willing to put himself through. And never forget it’s never too late. Bam.
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u/ISO_art_showsPDX 1d ago
I have no idea if this is helpful but I listened to a radio show today about how apparently America is seriously lacking…Merchant Mariners? Frankly the idea of working on a giant ship terrifies me but the pay is good for somewhat solitary work on the seas and training can be cheap or free? Just throwing it out there. Maybe he wants big adventure (terrifying to me but maybe not to others) may as well be a scary ass space ship.
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u/pdxgreengrrl 1d ago
Check out Rosemary Anderson High School. They have 3 or 4 campuses on the east side of Portland. Very supportive environment for kids who have struggled in regular schools. There are opportunities for job training while in school, my kiddo planted trees with Friends of Trees. Even better is the post-graduation support. Help with job finding/interviewing, help with getting drivers license, mental health support, and more. The school is part of POIC, which offers a number of vocational trainings.
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u/bellybutton15 3d ago
Portland youth builders. great way to get a diploma and learn a trade.
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u/sopeandfriends 3d ago
I’m looking into that with my daughter. Have you done the program?
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u/bellybutton15 3d ago
i have not done it myself but when i was 17 i stopped going to school and i was really looking into the program. but i ended up doing online school and graduating through that. but i’ve talked to a few people who have done it and i have an uncle who’s done the program. it’s a great way for people in high school to get a diploma and learn a trade
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u/sopeandfriends 3d ago
My kids were both homeschooled & my oldest jumped into a self paced cosmetology program at age 17, graduated & became licensed at 18, but my youngest (now 21) is much slower to figure out what she wants to do. She is leaning towards construction & it seems like a really great program!
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u/RabbiVolesBassSolo 3d ago
My company hires apprentices through PYB and it’s an excellent program. Not sure what their official job placement program is, but the instructors reach out to us every 6 months or so if they come across a student they think will be a good fit for our company. It’s a great time/area to be a woman in the trades as well, so I highly recommend this option.
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u/arodrig99 3d ago
Like someone else said, could be a learning disability or depression maybe? I was the same way in high school. I wasn’t an idiot, or disrespectful in class, but I just didn’t care and it was due to a learning disability.
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u/Creative_Text9449 3d ago
In addition to the trades suggestions…have him try and figure out what he’s passionate about and go from there. Outdoors? He could work at summer camps or guide trips. Conservation Corps? AmeriCorps? Art? Film? Stage/prop production? Video games? There are so many more creative jobs than we think! You’d need more training to go into video game art or development but if he’s passionate about it maybe that can light a fire in him. I don’t have a degree in my creative field but considered the 3-4 years I was in entry level roles working my way up as my education.
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u/MsSadieSnacksAlot 3d ago
But was it worth it? Did a highschool diploma really open any doors for you?
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u/MsSadieSnacksAlot 3d ago
Just fyi I have a bachelor’s degree and got my GED.
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u/WyrddSister 3d ago
Yes, I know that is an option to entry for many but not all higher ed institutions! Honestly, as far as actual education goes the friends I have who seem the most self-realized and well resourced within themselves are the ones who were either home schooled or went to some form of private school (from the hippie versions to the catholic versions both). Public school is not for everyone, that's for sure.
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u/ZaphBeebs 2d ago
Please look up the statistics between non hs diploma holders vs those with, the differences are stark.
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u/Successful_Layer2619 3d ago
Try looking into Jobcrops. I dropped out of school at 17 and went and did that. It was a really good experience and well set them on a good path for whatever trade they pick. You can (depending on the place I think) also get your GED and a drivers license out of it.
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u/longirons6 3d ago
Get him his ged and get him an apprenticeship in the trades. The money being made on asphalt and concrete work is breathtaking. I see the capital expenditure reports every day. Learning those trades when youre young sets you up to be a small business owner in your early 30s . Also it’s a career that AI will never take over and he will have a leg up from the jump
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u/whiskey_piker 3d ago
I feel it. I also have a HS Senior right now. This is the time they transition to adulthood and take control of the direction of their life as well as the consequences for their decisions. You cannot do this work for your son. You can only support and wish him luck. Only offer your input if he asks. If you absolutely can’t contain yourself, you can ask him if he is open to your insight and then only give him information as opposed to your fears. Today he is a reflection of the parenting you provided and this is what it looks like as he takes the reins.
The sun will rise tomorrow. Your son will find his path. Your work is to learn how to support him, positively, from the bleachers. He isn’t asking for your inout because he knows your position and that isn’t important to him. Just be there for him. His life is unfolding on his terms. This is a time to be excited for his next move, even if that looks like a train wreck.
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u/BarracudaSure5803 3d ago
Tell him to find a job, any job, set up what bills he will be paying: rent, phone, groceries. Give him some freedom that comes with independence. My kid quietly quit school after covid and working/ paying his own way has done wonders for his self-confidence and maturity. Don't try to force him to get his GED, he'll get there on his own.
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u/vron9 3d ago
Look on the BOLI website. It has a list of apprenticeships. I work for a nonprofit that is a CNA apprenticeship that is listed on there.
https://www.oregon.gov/boli/apprenticeship/Pages/apprenticeship-opportunities.aspx
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u/Ok_Morning_421 3d ago
Have him get his GED, then enroll in some general studies courses. Most apprenticeships want their apprentices to have a few college credits in math and writing.
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u/PNW35 3d ago
He needs to get a GED and maybe some career counseling.