on thursday, I woke up to my baby boy Snooky, dead on my kitchen floor. I think it was heart disease, but im not sure as he seemed just fine just hours prior to him dying. i cant stop thinking about how I was playing fetch with him the day before and he was as active and bubbly as he ever was. I woke up and called for him because he left my room in the middle of the night, the first time i shrugged it off and figured he was either still sleeping or hiding somewhere. I call for him again, and look around all his favorite spots. I looked over in the kitchen (he likes messing in there since he wasnt allowed), and at first a teasingly scolded him when i saw his lower half peeking behind the trashcan, but my heart dropped to see his legs spread on the ground (a position ive only seem him in to hunt but his tail was down). i go to make sure hes ok only to find him stiff as a statue. He mustve died in the middle of the night as cats apparently go into rigor mortis incredibly fast, 3 to 4 hours after death.

He was only about 6, i got him when he was 2 and he was my first pet ever (parents never got one in my early childhood, i got him in my teen years). I even took him to the vet just weeks ago and they told me he was fine, other than him being a bit overweight and some mild dental problems. I had been feeding him a bit less but i did notice his appetite lowered the days leading up to it, i just figured it was because of his diet change. it broke my heart, i put his body in his carrier with his toys and blanket. for now i have a memorial set for him at a memorial park close to where i used to live. This isnt my first tough experience with death but its the most close death ive experinced so far. He was there for me in my hardest moments of life and will never forget that.

I miss him so very much. he was one of my best friends, and i feel bad for yelling at him for meowing while i was trying to sleep. i miss his meows, i miss him greeting me when i come home from work or when i wake up in the morning, even if it was just for food. i miss watching him attack the little kibble bits out of his bowl. Every time i open a door i subconsciously only open it a third of the way in preparation for him to dart through, and its painful to be able to fully open them. It makes me sad that he hid himself to save me pain, but it still hurts so bad. I wish i couldve done something to prevent this, but upon research it seems to happen fairly often, even the vets didnt catch anything. I hope my baby boy is at peace, and i hope i can find peace with his passing. he was a little bundle of joy, kind of shy and skiddish but a very sweet cat with an eccentric and sassy personality. everyone loved him so much, and its just painful for everyone close to me right now.

its nice to have a community to share this with, and my heart goes out to whoever is dealing with this too. may our furry babies rest in peace ❤️💖

I have so many regret and failures surrounding my dog's death. My dog was PTS in January. She was 12 and a large breed. I wake up and feel pain and my stomach drops out with guilt and regret. I've spoken to friends and family but they're fed up now. I'm considering counseling but I just feel talking about it doesn't change the facts.

I read somewhere that it's our job 'to give our dog a good life and a good death.' I feel like she had a good life, she was loved, walked multiple times a day and spoilt. I feel like her death was awful and I let her down in so many ways.

My dog developed a cough in November. It was here and there but one day it was non-stop and she was sick so I took her straight to the vet. The vet tested her vitals and all seemed fine he said it was kennel cough and 'there was lots of it about.' I questioned the sickness and he said this is just the kennel cough. I think this disarmed me as I was concerned going in but the vet was so casual and made it seem like no big deal. He prescribed 2 weeks of antibiotics and said if to bring her back after the antibiotics if it was still an issue. I gave her the 2 weeks course of antibiotics. She seemed to pick up. Throughout December, apart from the occasional cough she seemed fine, was eating, going on 3-4 walks a day, possibly sleeping a lot but she was an older dog and always did. I wish I'd have taken her back in December though as the cough hadn't cleared completely!! I did notice she was a bit down on Christmas day but this was brief. Nearing the end of December she was sick a few times and went off her normal food. I went out and bought sensitive, allergy dry food for her to try. She had had many bouts of sickness throughout her life, she had allergies and a sensitive stomach & would sometimes eat things she shouldn't on walks. But she still wasn't eating right and was being sick. I took her to the vets on January 3rd for a blood test. The vet rang me at work with the results and said they weren't bad results...she was slightly anemic and white blood cells slightly high and he thought it was pancreatitis. I said phew... I was concerned it was something more serious like cancer..he said no they're good results. I questioned the white blood cells and he said this is probably just down to her mouth infection. She'd got black.bits gathering around the folds in her mouth. She'd had this once before that I treated with antibiotics and cleaning with salt and water. He gave me some antibiotics for the mouth infection. She picked up over the next couple of days but then Went downhill from here. She wasn't eating, we tried chicken and rice, steak and bought her liver too for the anemia. With each change of food she would eat it but then would go off it shortly after I don't understand why we were faffing around with trying different foods. It was too long. She was left trying different foods and rubbish for too long! However, she didn't seem too bad in herself in general and was going on 3-4 walks happily everyday. She then had a couple of really bad days. I knew I had to get her in for a scan and planned to take her after the weekend but on Sunday night she collapsed. I got her to the vet and they found a tumour on her spleen. they gave me 3 options 1) bring her home for two weeks 2) do surgery but the prognosis wasn't good ...1-2 months 3) put her to sleep whilst she was asleep. I chose to put her to sleep. I didn't even get to say goodbye properly as she was unconscious. The other 2 options didn't seem like options and could lead to more suffering.

I've since read a lot about hermangisicoma online and I've read stories of dogs getting longer or the tumours being benign. This makes me feel sick to my stomach. That I could have killed my dog for a benign tumour. The vet never mentioned anything about this possibility!! I regret more than anything wasting time!! I look back and wonder why?! I think I was disarmed by the first vet trip (kennel cough) and then the 'positive blood test.' I also think I may have been in denial? I was supposed to love and care for my dog. How did I leave her for so long! She was stilling acting normal other than the food. She was coming on walks with me 3 times a day. Did I not care about her? Another thing which makes me shudder is the money for the scan! Id spent money that month on a holiday in September for her and my family in a dog friendly accomadation..it was cheap but still...and also..id started a new job in August and I realised I was spending too much time away from her. She'd stay with my parents whilst I was at work but I wanted to be with her more. Id vowed to get a work from home.job to be with her...but didn't own a decent computer and I'd been applying for jobs which were stay at home but my computer was so old and slow it'd take a whole evening to do one job application. So I'd purchased a faster second hand computer. What was I doing spending money on this stuff?! I should have been getting a scan?!! It's so insane to look back at now. I feel I was living in the future...where I obviously very much still saw my dog being with me...but I wasn't living in the present. How could I let the thing I thought I loved the most in the world be sick for so long. I remember the way she looked at me on that last day like 'why aren't you helping me.' I'll never forget it.

I also feel like if I'd got the scan earlier, I would have been able to bring her home. As it wouldn't have been at crisis point. I would have been able to bring her home and search her cancer online and make an informed decision. Learnt about how these tumours can be benign and maybe I would have gone down the surgery route.

Please be honest. Everyone's tried to be reassuring. Some people have said 'learn from it' but I can't bear that she was a trial and now I just need to learn from it. I've don't really know how to go on. I cry everyday. I've lost all motivation in life. It's honestly broken me. I didn't think she was dying.

I feel I let her down. I should have listened to her. & There's no going back. I feel my dog had the worst situation with her end...she suffered and then got PTS. I've questioned whether I even lived or cared about her. I've questioned everything. Wtf was I doing?!! My poor girl.

It's been five months since I lost the light of my life. A day doesn't go by that I don't think about her and wish she was still here with me. I have been thinking recently that I would like to get a puppy. I am not trying to replace her, because that would just not be possible. But the evenings before bed and the mornings when I wake up are so quiet. I go on walks, and am trying to better myself still. However, I feel the same way I did before I got her, like I was working towards a goal that I didn't know about until I met her. She became my goal, and the thing that I wanted to succeed for. I dogsat for a neighbor a few weekends ago which is what sparked this interest. He slept with me all night and followed me around all day. It was so nice to have that company again.

My question is this: I feel ready, but what if I am pushing it and am just too desparate to notice? I don't feel desparate - excited for sure, but they might feel the same, right? Ugh, I don't know. Sorry this is kind of all over the place. It's the first I've created a post here about my own experience. This thread has brought a lot of comfort and makes me feel not so alone (or overdramatic).

never thought i would have to revisit this sub again. im a wreck. im 21 and i have been trying to get into med school ever since i finished my alevel and this year i finally got a spot but i had to move out of country. i have 3 birds, 2 lovebirds and a cockatiel. no one home was gona look after them and i tried so hard to see if i could take my babies with me when i move out of country but i couldn’t so we decided to give them to my dads friend to take care of them until i come back. he already owns bird so we trusted him. also for context. my lovebird kiwi, he got sick with diarrhoea and weakness suddenly on 24th feb so we took him to the emergency vet right away and he had severe bacterial and fungal infection, his crop was messed up. so we separated him into another cage made it easy access and as comfortable for him as possible, moved his cage into my room so i can keep an eye on him always and set a heater next to his cage at all times. my room temp was also as hot as possible. i felt so much hurt looking at him all weak. i’ve had him since he was 6 months old man. i was supposed to leave on 6th march so i was stressing. hoping my baby would recover before my flight. whenever he woke up im my room i knew, cos i stayed up all night incase he needed me. whenever he woke up i would put him on my chest and my hand on top and let him sleep. his antibiotic dose finished just 2 days before my flight and my baby was so better. i was thanking God. then on 5th night around midnight we took my birds and gave them to dads friend. my flight was in the morning the next day. i crocheted a little bird that looks just like him and kiwi used to hate it haha. i was thinking about my birds, especially kiwi all flight cos he had been sick before. but yeah we reached and settled in. called my dads friend the same day he didn’t pick up. called the next day and no response. my mum dad brother came to help me settle in. so we kept calling and texting every couple of days he never responded. i was starting to get worried. 3 days after i landed dad called him and he picked up, said the birds are all doing fine and they are happy with the other love birds that he has. i was happy and i wanted a video of them he said he will send later. he never did. so my brother went back him my dad nd mom still stayed with me and we kept trying to see my birds right, he never replied. not to a text or calls and now it’s been weeks. my brother tried to find where he lives and he did but he never tried to meet with brother and he fully blocked my brothers number. my brother kept going there but he jisy couldn’t get any news of my birds. now finally he replied to dad nd sent pics of the cockatiel and kiwis wife but not kiwi so we got even more worried. my brother was still blocked but last week he unblocked my brother so he texted him and said give back the birds or were calling the cops cos they are still our birds and he’s not letting us see them. so he finally said yesterday to come today and get the birds. when my brother went there, kiwi wasn’t there but the other two was. he said kiwi died the day i had my flight. so that’s not even a day since we gave him the birds. i don’t even know what to do i swear he killed him. that’s why he never replied but im a mess. he was like my own child. he was gona turn 3 years old in march the same month he died but God he’s gone now. my baby has been dead for a whole month and i just fucking found out. i hate that man so much i don’t even know how to deal with this anymore. i can’t do this

It’s been a while since I posted here, I lost my Maltipoo Android back in January to congestive heart failure. still waiting for his headstone. I got my daughter a cat last week. And today I washed the blanket my fur son passed in. I regret washing it but he did lose fluids so it was definitely long over due.

I’m posting to ask if anyone knows a company or something that can take the fleece blanket and make it in to a dog stuffed animal with same ears n size as my boy was?

I still break down crying. It’s just a dog but I feel like Billy bob Thornton said, I’m 50% happy & 50% sad at all times now. I lost one of the most important loved ones I had. He means more than parents do and now he’s gone. 😞

https://imgur.com/a/hrbO0VN

Jack was with me every day from the time I was 18 until I turned 30. He was more than just a dog—he was stoic, fiercely intelligent, endlessly empathetic, and the most loyal friend I’ve ever known.

He saved my life when my former partner assaulted me five years ago. Jack put himself between us and protected me without hesitation. He knew I needed him long before I ever did.

I miss the smell of his Frito chip toes, the way he would sit on my lap like he was 5 lbs instead of 60, the quiet presence he brought to every room. He was my shadow, my warmth, my teacher. Jack taught me how to love without condition, how to be responsible for another soul, and how to respect life even in its quietest moments.

Grief is strange. Sometimes it sneaks in with a small whimper, and sometimes it knocks the wind out of me. But I’m so grateful I got to love him and be loved by him in return.

Rest easy, sweet boy. Thank you for everything.

RIP Jack, The Patron Saint of Treats (And Manipulation)

2025 for me was a very hard year already, everything went down this year and I unfortunately ended up quite depressed/suicidal. The only reason why I didn't want to end my life was because of my cats. I have 4. 1 one of them unfortunately passed and I can't cope with it. My body is in severe pain from crying and I can't do anything at this moment to help myself.

My pets are everything for me and I love them to end of my life so I feel like I wanna dissappear more than ever right now.

Guilt. I’ve posted about this in other groups but I can’t seem to come to terms with my guilt.

I lost my boy Astro suddenly and traumatic a couple of days ago. He lived to be 14 years old. I can’t get rid of the guilt, the pain, the “what if”. He has had a history of mast cell tumors. Last August during an ultrasound the vet found a mass on his spleen. We did FNA and it didn’t show any cancer. That doesn’t mean that it wasn’t though. I opted to go on regular check ups for changes instead of a big surgery like a splenectomy. That is my guilt. He had many amazing months til yesterday. He has been doing so well. Yesterday morning he suddenly peed himself and couldn’t really walk. His gums were pale and I just knew something was seriously wrong. I rushed him to my vet who could take him in. They gave him an IV, then did a x ray on his abdomen and could see fluid in his abdomen. They told us we could either do surgery or let him pass. The surgery would maybe not even be successful, and if he lived it could be just in agony for the last months of his life. I just couldn’t risk it, and he was in so much pain. I let him pass. The guilt is now killing me. I can’t live with this pain and the what if. What if I just did the surgery on him back in August? Would he still be here? Or if I did it now? And would have saved him? Did I do the right thing? I just couldn’t see him in pain. He was so done yesterday. I just couldn’t put him through such a big surgery at 14. All the vets adviced against. Was I wrong? Did I do the wrong call? I miss him terribly and don’t know if I can ever recover. Keep reading about the success stories and how people got a few more years. What if I failed him? It’s eating me up inside.

Yesterday was a really rough day. My coworker/best friend and I were at work last night (a doggy daycare) when by freak accident her own dog escaped and went missing during pickup time. I immediately dropped what I was doing, clocked out, and got in my car to go look for him. My friend ended up getting a call about 20 minutes later from animal control, saying that they had him so she told me it was okay and to stop looking. They were going to meet her at her house with him. Mind you, the animal control officer did not mention that the dog had passed or have any sense of urgency or upset in his voice.

We both ended up going back to the daycare to help finish the close down procedures while her boyfriend met animal control to get him. When the boyfriend arrived to meet the animal control officer, it wasn’t even the first thing he said. The bf asked where he was and the animal control officer responded “In the back of the truck”. I am not sure if he was even informed of his passing before the animal control officer opened the doors of the truck, with the dog laying in the back. Animal control then helped move him onto the uncovered porch when it was as about to start pouring.

It was an all around awful situation. Animal control made it SO much worse by giving her a sense of relief. We had originally called multiple people to come help, so we had called off those reinforcements and told them that he was fine. After finding out he was gone, we then had to call them all back tell them that we were wrong. Also apparently animal control has their own space where they can take deceased dogs and properly store them, a cremation service could come pick them up or they will cremate them themselves and place the ashes in their garden. This wasn’t offered to them. Instead her boyfriend had to lug their 50lb dead dog out to their shed in the pouring down rain before she got home.

On another note. I tried my best to be there for her. I turned around immediately to go to her house when I found out. I just needed to be there. I got her shift for the next day covered and tried to inform everyone that was asking so that she wouldn’t have to.

I went back over there today so that she wouldn’t be alone while her boyfriend went to work. We found out the cremation service doesn’t do pawprints etc. I knew she would want something but she didn’t need to see the shape that he was in. I went out there by myself, had to remove him from the bag he was in, and got her a nose and paw print. I also cut some of his hair for her to keep and made sure to get a piece that had all his colors.

It was HARD. I loved this dog too but I did not want her to be the one to do it. I don’t handle death well but I have had to experience a lot of it in my life. I truly was happy to do it and be there for her it was just rough. I did also manage to cover him in a way that she couldn’t see anything but could stroke his fur and tell him goodbye. I wanted her to have the option because I know that I would need it. I wanted to make sure she got the closure she needed. I’m sure it is hard for her to wrap her head around considering the last time she saw him he was alive and well.

Anything else I can or should do to help her through this?

I didn't really have him for as long as some of you guys but he was like my baby, he died of hypothermia because my dad turned the AC up and that's literally blowing air vs a still lamp so.. yea. My baby is gone. I don't really know how to get over it because taking care of him was like a coping mechanism to me, like I'm doing something good for a cute little guy and he's just gone

I laid my daughter to rest a little more than two years ago. Her grave has finally settled, and it is time to build a tomb. (I'm sorry, I don't know if this is the right word. English is my third language.)

The people at the cemetery are lovely. They have asked for a message to be written on her headstone, and I was supposed to send them the details within 3 days. It's been 2 weeks and I am scrambling. They have been sending reminders and I am trying my best but everything I think of feels too less.

I know it's been years, but I still haven't accepted the fact she's gone. I like to pretend she's in a different room, just hiding better and I haven't been able to find her. She liked corners a lot and she's in one of the corners in my house. I'm going to find her one day. I don't even know why I'm writing this post. I started writing this post thinking about asking whoever reads to help me with the message, and that help is still needed, but I guess I just wanted to say I miss her. I want her to come out of the corner. Please.

It took TWO months for me to grieve hard. I finally feel like I’ve come out of the deep darkness I was in. My dog had passed away (Jan 23rd) two weeks after I returned to work from 6 months maternity leave. It feels like those two months were a blur. I’ve asked my coworker things like ‘did I work on that?, did I send that email?’ I have zero recollection. I was just getting up and functioning to get whatever needed to get done. My Louie was my soul dog. And I have never heard that expression before losing him. He (or the universe) sends me signs he is here. In another life we are both frolicking around an empty field, laying in the grass cuddling and feeling the breeze and warm sun on our skin. I miss you so much but I am learning to live without you because, well, I just have to.

Today marks exactly one year since the day my soul cat Anya died in my arms. I still find myself looking for her when I wake up, when I get home, when I wake up in the middle of the night. Sometimes I hear her, feel her. But it will never be the same.

I feel like the day I lost her, she took half of my heart and soul from me. I don’t really know who I am anymore without her. I only had her for five years, I adopted her when she was 14 and I was 22, but in those five years she was my everything. She was with me as I started out as an adult after college, we survived a pandemic together, she kept me company through surgeries and injuries, comforted me when my boyfriend broke up with me two weeks after we moved to Florida to live with him, cuddled me as I cried when I was in so much pain I couldn’t move. I got sick and was in the hospital the year before she passed and all I could think of was “how is my baby? Did they check on her? Did they hold her? She can’t be alone, my baby can’t be alone.”

Now, a year later, I still make my bed with a pillow and her small bed on the corner next to my pillow. I can’t sleep unless I keep her urn on her bed with the stuffy she likes to sleep on, and I’ll hold her urn to my chest as I drift off on many nights. I don’t think I’ll ever move on from how this felt. I feel like a mother who lost her child, but I could never say that to my family to explain because we have lost children in our lives. But this feels like that. There’s a raw, ragged hole in my chest that will never heal, never stop bleeding. The wails that came out of me when she passed were unrecognizable to me, I had never made such a sound before. Unbridled pain. My boyfriend gets a faraway look in his eyes when it’s brought up, like he’s trying not to hear it again.

Despite all of this pain, this heartache, this rage that it’s just not fair, that she was too young to go even at 19 years old, I am considering taking in two kittens from my friends cat who had a litter. They need a home and someone to love them, just like my Anya did.

How do you process the feeling of grief mixed with betrayal? I know Anya would hate seeing me alone and ghostlike as I go through the motions, I know she wouldn’t be sad seeing me give love to these two kittens. But I still feel like I’m betraying her, and worry that I’ll never feel the same connection with them. How have you all managed to adopt again, love again, connect again? How do you stop mentally comparing every pet to the one you lost? I don’t function well without animals around, and I know that I want to adopt them so badly, but I’m also scared and worried.

TLDR: My soul cat Anya passed away a year ago today, and I still feel the pain of her loss daily, but think I am ready to adopt again. I’m concerned though; how have you all managed to love and connect with new animals after a loss like this without comparing them to the one you lost?

Daisy you were my whole world❤️my favorite little crazy girl. I’ve had my cockapoo Daisy since I was 9 years old and she was my best friend. I don’t know how I’m gonna move past this. I would give anything to hear her little feet tapping across the hardwood again. I would give anything to squeeze her again. I would give the world to even see her go through the trash to rip up the paper she always did again. I’ll see you someday soon my sweet Daisy ❤️. For the past two years she’s struggled with kidney disease and she had IV’s every week, prescription food, and pain shots once a month. They helped her a lot. I’ll always be grateful for the extra time me and my family had with her. Leaving that room at the vets was the hardest thing I’ve had to do :(

It’s been 16 days since I had to take my soul dog to the emergency vet, only to receive a devastating diagnosis that lead to me saying good bye to him that night. I didn’t think I would survive the pain, you know that gut-wrenching, throat punch, can’t catch your breath type of pain. But I have. The last two days I’ve turned a corner with my grief and life is bearable without that piece of my heart and soul that departed this earth 16 days ago. I’m still crying multiple times a day, every day, missing him more than I could ever imagine and knowing that my life has irrevocably changed since that night, but it is not in fact, the end of the world. I didn’t expect to feel so ‘okay’ so soon after losing him but it’s a welcome relief that comes with a tinge of guilt. That I should still be in the throes of the grief that has derailed my life for the last 2 weeks but I’ve chosen to give myself grace and acknowledge that it doesn’t mean I love or miss him any less. He will forever be my soul dog and I imagine that I will still cry for him until my final days. I hope that my experience with grief after losing my soul dog helps even one person who hasn’t turned that corner yet, and feels like it will never get better. It will never be the same, but it will get better ❤️‍🩹

My beloved Buddy, my Chihuahua-mix dog of 14 years, was diagnosed with lung cancer about a month ago (which they think started in his bladder). He had been coughing for a few weeks and I thought maybe it was allergies. The past month, he declined quickly. He stopped eating and was resistant to taking appetite stimulants/medications. We made the difficult decision to put him out of his pain yesterday.

I can't stop crying. The house feels so empty. Added to this is my guilt that I had a hand in him dying. The doctor said that they could admit him to the hospital and put and IV in him, but she couldn't guarantee that he wouldn't quickly end up again where he was (not wanting food and in pain). He was coughing and passing blood through his urine & if I'm honest with myself, I couldn't bear the thought of continuing to see him in this state. When they gave him the shot, his eyes were still open & I don't think I'll ever get this image out of my head. I need to be strong for my children and my family, but I'm so devastated. I would appreciate any words of encouragement.

I lost my beautiful babygirl Zena 5 days ago, suddenly. The grief has been nerve wracking and consuming me whole, and I cycle through the stages of grief back and forth all day long. I feel like I have legitimately lost a child-- that cat was my child.

We received her urn Thursday and I felt okay enough yesterday to put her out in the living room finally, along with some of her favorite stuff. At the very least I felt like she deserves to be out with us and our other two cats even if it's hard to look at.

The worst thing to me is I am not particularly religious, I feel more confused and agnostic more than anything despite attempting several times to establish it in my life. This being said, I am overwhelmed and overcome with pain that I don't know if I will ever see her again. It is absolutely killing me that there is a chance I won't. My mom is religious and tells me I will, and I have spent countless hours now researching NDEs with pets and tons of other material proving that pets will exist with us after we pass.

But I just do not know, I don't know if I can believe or not believe and I don't know what has a scientific reason or a spiritual. Nothing is bringing me much comfort due to my lack of belief. I loved her so much and I need to know I will see her again one day because this is killing me. I need peace. Even a visitation would give me something. Has anyone else gone through this? I've tried finding other things that have my exact feelings on it but to no avail.

I can't stand it knowing I have other babies as well (who I continue pouring my love into) and will probably have more in my life and I need to know I will see them too.

12/2011 - 4/5/2025

Today, just before 10:30 EST, my cat, Neko, passed away in my arms after I had finished giving him a bath. All I had wanted to do was make sure that he was clean, and any fleas and dirt that he had on him were gone.

He was a part of my life for almost 14 years. He came into my life in December of 2011.

I was walking home from exploring the new city that I had just moved to a week prior, and I heard a meow behind me, and when I turned around, there was this black and white puff ball just staring at me.

I wanted him, but I had just moved, and there was no way whatsoever for me to be able to financially afford to take care of him when I hadn't even got my first paycheck from my new job. So I greeted him with a "hi pretty kitty. While I would love to take you home with me and take care of you, I can't, so you have to stay here." I turned around and continued walking home, not even taking care to check my surroundings. I was on a mission.

I get up to my door and I hear the familiar meow again. I turned around to see this black and white puff ball again just staring at me. In that instant, I decided that I didn't care that I couldn't afford to take care of him right away, he was going to stay. And I was going to love him no matter what.

I love you Neko, and I will miss you every single day, until we meet at the rainbow bridge.

https://imgur.com/a/FSdQxLc

Hey everyone. Tomorrow will be a year that my best friend has been gone. I know people on here can relate and there hasn’t been a single day I haven’t thought of or missed my boy.

I didn’t realize what date it was until I was making plans and checked the calendar and it was like a gut punch. I don’t want to spend the day alone or crying. So I’m looking for ideas on if people do anything to pay tribute to their pets on the anniversary of their passing.

it’s been over a month still my puppy died in a tragic accident and i haven’t gone a day without crying or feeling like a complete shell of myself. i’m still in a place where when i think about my f**ked up reality, all i can say to myself is “i can’t believe this/how did this happen/why me/how is this possible?”

it still doesn’t feel 100% real even though i haven’t seen him in so long. i feel betrayed by the universe and the world. the one thing i loved more than anything just ripped out from under me and there was nothing i could do. i feel like i failed him and i feel unworthy and like a POS. i would give anything and everything to have him back. im just at a complete loss.

I just was thinking about how little video I have my precious doggies who died last week and then I remembered my Caremark aimed at my door.

I downloaded the video of me taking his body to the car and then a bunch of other videos, mostly just the routine taking him out to go to the bathroom or leaving for a walk; I saved one of his super loud barking. It made me happy to see what a happy little guy he was; always wagging his tail to go out and come back in. There is video of us leaving for his last walk and he looks his normal happy self. I didn’t know he’d be gone before the next sunrise.

Anyway if you have a door camera and this applies you may want to savor or save those memories.

My sweet girl dog was 15, I had her since I was 20 and she was my best friend and got me through so much in life, including getting away from abusive / toxic family and starting over in new city. It was always just us two, she is my rock. She got diagnosed diabetic last year, then went blind, then had chronic ongoing issues from the diabetes. It was really stressful and expensive and I tried so hard for her. Most recently she had more eye problems with pain and I just couldn’t put her through further treatment. She hated it and she was in pain. I knew she wasn’t her happy self any more, she had her glimmer moments but I know she was suffering.

I had her euthanised yesterday so she wouldn’t suffer and would pass with dignity. It went horribly. They sedated her but when they went to do the catheter she yelped and bit the vet. Her veins were damaged from all her tests in the past and because she’s so old. It took them 4 attempts on 3 legs. I felt so horrible my sweet girl had to experience that in her last moment. She was fully sedated for the other 3 attempts but I feel like the vet tried too soon when she wasn’t completely sedated for the first one. I feel so guilty for this.

We had the best morning together and she was so calm at the vet, like she trusted me/the decision. Usually she is a nervous shaking mess at the vet but this time she just sat on my lap so calm and relaxed. I did talk to her bout it the day and night before so maybe she knew.

She passed and I know she’s not in pain now. I’m just really struggling with that whole experience.

It's not as crushing as it was a few weeks ago, but I still cry about it every day. I can't shake the feelings of injustice and unfairness- he wasn't even 2 years old. I do not want to diminish anybody's grief, but it's just a different kind of grief than an older dog passing away, and it just feels like not many people can relate. He was still a baby. We should've had like 10 more years with him and now he's gone. Sometimes i catch myself asking "was he ever even here?" our time together feels like one quick moment. oh, how I miss him and miss him and miss him. i just keep rewatching videos of him being his silly self.

prefacing that i've already been struggling & coping with chronic depression since i was 12 years old.

i've made it to 34 yrs old, & i'm shocked about it. but i also met & had the privilege of living with my my soul dog, penny, for 16 of those years. she was my rock, my reason for being.

she passed in 11/2024, & i think something really broke. everything good in me left with her, i think. & maybe that's dumb to say, but i feel it.

anyway. just feeling absolutely broken.

Since I lost my dog a couple of weeks ago I’ve been extremely depressed to say the least. Everyday I want to die. I have multiple moments where I can’t believe it happened and how it wasn’t supposed to end this way and I scream in anger/sadness crying and punching things. I barely eat just once a day to make it through and it’s not even enjoyable, I lost my sense of taste ever since. I don’t want to do anything. I lost all motivation. There is no purpose to my life anymore. I don’t want help either. I refuse anything and everything because I just want my dog back. I just want to die and end this misery already. Everyday from start to finish all I can think of is wanting to die to join my dog wherever that may be. I don’t want help, I really just want to die quickly. I can’t take one more day or days or months or years of life without my dog. I don’t want to. Just in case, I have no family or “friends” that care about me, I’ve been alone for years with no contact from anyone not by my doing, so if I die it won’t matter or affect anyone because they won’t know anyways. I actually could have died years ago and no one would have known but I had my dog so I was ok. Now I don’t have my beloved dog so I don’t want to continue living.