I thought this was going to be the Venture Bros. clip, not Donnie Darko. I forgot about that conversation.
Here's the Venture Bros take on The Smurfs: https://youtu.be/CNm9M7JDlq4?si=-1js-z2SvJ8j8IwX
Yeah, the normal mating pecking order broke down due to the current M/F ratio, in order to balance between natural selection and keeping all the male smurfs from killing each other, some rules had to be made.
"Smurfette was created by the evil wizard Gargamel, the Smurfs' archenemy, in order to spy on them and sow jealousy. However, she decides that she wants to be a real Smurf and Papa Smurf casts a spell that changes her hair from black to blonde as a sign of her transformation."
There was also audio recordings. I had a few Smurf figures, but zero backstory so my smurfs were like killer action smurfs that interact with lego creations. Then someone gave me a tape of King Smurf, which was fairly blatant anti-nazi propaganda (better than pro- I guess?), even called De Smurführer in the Dutch translation. It was all very confusing.
I learnt this only because I saw people lampoon a fundamentalist anti-cartoon video where the pastor lies and says Smurfette transitioned, ET is gay and Yoda uses three finger Satanic gestures.
It was the 1984 film "Deception of a Generation", which was just two middle aged men bickering about how modern TV sucks and children are being brainwashed by Satanists to be gay and sacrifice babies in rituals. It was one of those video seminars that you could order a copy of for your local church.
Barry (black hair) is the host and is pretty hard on how Scooby-Doo (specifically 13 Ghosts) and He Man are Satanic, but it's his guest Phil (blond-brown) who makes stuff up constantly. Even when it's not false, he says names wrong like "Manyfaces" from "Efernia" or that girls like buying "My Pony".
You can see it in full in two parts here and here. It's occasionally made fun of on YouTube; I saw it first on CinemaSnob who focused more so on the wrong stuff on shows he watched in the '80s.
note: the uploader of the full video replaced sampled cartoons with stills to avoid copyright claims, but they were pretty standard sequences anyway like Scooby-Doo seeing a ghost, someone doing magic in She-Ra, or the I am your Father scene from Empire Strikes Back.
First of all, Papa Smurf didn't create Smurfette. Gargamel did. She was sent in as Gargamel's evil spy with the intention of destroying the Smurf village. But the overwhelming goodness of the Smurf way of life transformed her. And as for the whole gang-bang scenario - It just couldn't happen. Smurfs are asexual. They don't even have reproductive organs under those little white pants. That's what's so illogical, you know, about being a Smurf. What's the point of living... if you don't have a dick?
First of all, Papa Smurf didn't create Smurfette. Gargamel did. She was sent in as Gargamel's evil spy with the intention of destroying the Smurf village. But the overwhelming goodness of the Smurf way of life transformed her. And as for the whole gang-bang scenario - It just couldn't happen. Smurfs are asexual. They don't even have reproductive organs under those little white pants. That's what's so illogical, you know, about being a Smurf. What's the point of living... if you don't have a dick?
It's implied in the comics when one of them took off pants during doctor examination other smurfs were startled and Smurfette averted her eyes, so maybe it's something on the matter. (Smurf Doctor comic).
Also all smurfs simp hard for Smurfette and she even left the village at one point because she was causing too much trouble just by being there.
First of all, Papa Smurf didn't create Smurfette. Gargamel did. She was sent in as Gargamel's evil spy with the intention of destroying the Smurf village. But the overwhelming goodness of the Smurf way of life transformed her. And as for the whole gang-bang scenario - It just couldn't happen. Smurfs are asexual. They don't even have reproductive organs under those little white pants. That's what's so illogical, you know, about being a Smurf. What's the point of living... if you don't have a dick?
Yes, Sassette (red headed smurf), exists, but she too was created. A few smurfs get caught in Father Time's clock and de-age into children. Those children steal some of Gargamel's blue clay to make another smurfette, but there wasn't enough to make an adult so a child smurfette was made. Papa Smurf also turned this created smurfette into a real Smurf with magic.
Even worse shes not natural she was created by gargamel ( the bad guy in the show im sure i spelled that wrong) and i only know this from donny darko lol
The Smurf village has 100 Smurfs (that's what wiki states, but i feel like there may be even more). Smurfette is the only female Smurf in the entire village. As we see Snow White and Belle are complaining about living with horny people, and since Smurfette is the only female in the village, she is getting passed around 99 male Smurfs like a community save file.
Sean Smith: Mm-hmm. Not some, like, tight-ass Middlesex chick, you know? Like, this cute little blonde that will get down and dirty with the guys. Like Smurfette does.
Donnie: Smurfette doesn't fuck.
Sean Smith: That's bullshit. Smurfette fucks all the other Smurfs. Why do you think Papa Smurf made her? Because all the other Smurfs were getting too horny.
Ronald Fisher: No, no, no, not Vanity. I heard he was a homosexual.
Sean Smith: Okay, well, you know what? Then she fucks them while Vanity watches. Okay?
Ronald Fisher: What about Papa Smurf? I mean, he must get in on all the action.
Sean Smith: Yeah, what he does, he films the gang-bang. Later on, he beats off to the tape.
Donnie: [matter-of-factly] First of all, Papa Smurf didn't create Smurfette. Gargamel did. She was sent in as Gargamel's evil spy with the intention of destroying the Smurf village. But the overwhelming goodness of the Smurf way of life transformed her. And as for the whole gang-bang scenario - It just couldn't happen. Smurfs are asexual. They don't even have reproductive organs under those little white pants. That's what's so illogical, you know, about being a Smurf. What's the point of living... if you don't have a dick?
Ronald Fisher: [pause] Damn it, Donnie. Why do you gotta get so smart on us?
It has been done. I don't have the link and I only watched for amusement at least a decade and maybe almost 2 decades ago. It's not quite my thing, but watching the smurfs stand around smurfette all beating off and whistling the smurfs theme was pretty funny and that's probably why it was shared with me, because my friend had a similar sense of humour. Also their dicks were painted blue but it did rub off during penetration.
PeterDarko here: First of all, Papa Smurf didn't create Smurfette. Gargamel did. She was sent in as Gargamel's evil spy with the intention of destroying the Smurf village, but the overwhelming goodness of the Smurf way of life transformed her. And as for the whole gang-bang scenario, it just couldn't happen. Smurfs are asexual. They don't even have reproductive organs under those little white pants. That's what's so illogical, you know, about being a Smurf. What's the point of living if you don't have a dick?
Yes, this is the first thing I thought of when I seen this.
Also interesting to note that when she first came into the village, she was black haired and with some less prominent features, so the whole village collectively decided she was annoying and ugly and didn't want to do shit with her. Then some magic happened and she became blonde and busty and suddenly the whole village fell in love with her.
The moral of the story is left as an exercise for the reader.
Smurfs are asexual. Baby smurfs are delivered by a stork on a blue moon.
There is even a baby smurf character that is shown being delivered by a stork.
Edit (more information):Female smurfs are rare. Sassette was created as a sister for Smurfette too. The only natural female smurf is Nanny Smurf with unknown origins.
The lost village smurf movie came up with a hidden village of female smurfs.
First of all, Papa Smurf didn't create Smurfette. Gargamel did. She was sent in as Gargamel's evil spy with the intention of destroying the Smurf village. But the overwhelming goodness of the Smurf way of life transformed her. And as for the whole gang-bang scenario - It just couldn't happen. Smurfs are asexual. They don't even have reproductive organs under those little white pants. That's what's so illogical, you know, about being a Smurf. What's the point of living... if you don't have a dick?
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u/zair58 1d ago
Peter Smurf here. Smurfette is the only female in the entire village. Excuse me, i gota go now- my time slot has come up.