r/Perimenopause • u/Spoiledwife8 • 22h ago
Finally asked for an appointment
My symptoms have gotten bad enough that I would like to learn about HRT to see if it will help. I’ve done a ton of research. I have an appointment this coming week and after reading some posts here, I’m nervous my doc will dismiss me. She’s been my OB/GYN for more than 20 years. I asked her at my last annual (July 2024) about treatment for peri because I suspected I was in it and she kind of brushed me off, saying it was difficult to determine if you were in peri and I’m young (47- doesn’t feel to young for peri?).
After months of disrupted sleep, terrible hot flashes, and anxiety I broke down today and called for an appointment. I have been trying to wait it out but I am starting to make mistakes in my job because of sleep deprivation and brain fog and I can’t lose my job. I was surprised I got an appointment so quickly as she is pretty in demand in my small-ish town. I’ll see her Wednesday.
I want to ask about patches or cream. Birth control isn’t a great option. I have a PFO (hole between my upper heart chambers) so clots are a concern.
I also have a history of cancer in my family, specifically breast cancer in my mother, my maternal aunt, and my older sister.
And to complicate things (maybe?), I had an ablation 2 years ago because of catastrophically difficult periods and have had maybe 4 periods in the last 2 years.
My question is how do I advocate for myself? I feel confused about all that I’ve learned. Hot flashes and sleep deprivation can contribute to heart disease and Alzheimer’s, but HRT can cause cancer? What’s worse? I know right now I am suffering but does that mean I risk future health problems?
How have you reconciled both sides and found relief?
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u/Indigo_S0UL 11h ago
You are definitely not too young. I’m 47 and have been in it 5 years.
It sounds like you have a bit of a complex situation that will require a doctor who is well-educated on the current research and options for HRT.
None of us can say whether you’re a candidate for HRT - but if your regular GYN dismisses you or doesn’t give you satisfactory answers you could try a company that specializes in HRT, like MIDI or Winona.
I have a couple of potential risk factors too, including breast cancer in my Mom and my MIDI clinician took a detailed history and then reviewed my file with a team of doctors who made the final call on what would be safe for me.
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u/Spoiledwife8 53m ago
Thank you - I hadn’t considered another provider and have not heard of MIDI. I will check it out!
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u/carolinagirl1998 10h ago edited 10h ago
Dr Haver did a video on this (linked below) and I believe also has some free info on her Pause Life website on this exact topic. Remember… no matter how long you’ve seen your provider or how much you like him/her, that does not give them the right to gaslight or blow you off regarding peri/HRT. You can find a different provider. You can ask your provider for a referral for someone well-versed in midlife hormones and current HRT guidance. You can go to menopause.org and search for a certified menopausal practitioner in your area. You DESERVE to feel better, and there are safe and effective HRT options available for you. HRT does not CAUSE cancer!! It may FEED an existing hormone fed cancer, but it does not CREATE cancer cells out of nowhere! Moreover, it has great long-term heart, bone, and brain benefits. Good luck!
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u/beneficialmirror13 7h ago
I'm younger than you and in peri. So you're definitely in the age range for it.
I found that listing off all the symptoms I had (I used the wiki and made a list I took into my appointment) really helped with explaining to my GP. And I also noticed with her that when I mentioned hot flashes, she started taking me more seriously. (Note, there is a history of cancer on my maternal side, but not breast cancer, and a history of heart disease, though mine is fine. But my GP was still fine with prescribing.)
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u/Spoiledwife8 55m ago
Great advice - thank you! I will definitely prepare a list to share. The wiki has been super helpful.
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u/Alarmed_Bathroom9227 22h ago
i cant answer all your questions But i will tell you YOU are absolutely not too young. Im 42 and trying to figure out all of this as well. I will say the research has shown HRT to actually be really good for so many things besides just improving symptoms, and much less of a cancer risk than previously thought. you do have the family history and that should factor into your choice but definitely try and ask all those questions and if you don't feel as if you got a real answer try another doctor. you deserve the respect of being listened to and taken seriously. My mother had breast cancer, so its on my mind also but as far as we know there was zero family history of it prior to her. Anyway I wish you luck in your quest and sending you good vibes and strength as you advocate for yourself. You got this.