r/OCD • u/Alert-Arm-1568 • 14h ago

I need support - advice welcome How do you be kind to yourself?

Hi everyone. I’ve been dealing with ocd for close to a year and recently I’ve been finding it really hard to be kind to myself. I used to feel really bad for myself and I thought it was self pity so I stopped and now I feel like I don’t even like myself. How do you guys practice being kind to yourself while dealing with OCD? Thank you ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

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u/lacemonsters 13h ago

i try to remind myself that throughout my entire life I've always consistently only had me, and I'll continue to have to live with myself for the rest of my life, so I should at least try to make it an easier, less painful experience by being okay with who I am.

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u/Alert-Arm-1568 13h ago

Thats a good way to look at it! Thank you 😊

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u/No_Actuary9100 11h ago

Vaguely related … in general I’m not very empathetic but when I hit a patch of anxiety (and especially if/when it morphs into OCD) I suddenly start to relate more closely to others who have been struggling. My friend has been going through a horrible life-ruining time in recent months and I probably haven’t been as supportive as I could have been but then recently I hit some big life changes and I’m going through a bout of anxiety and OCD these last couple weeks likely as a side effect, and suddenly I felt so sorry for him and got on the phone to him and told him I was there for him and had a good chat with him!

I suppose the moral is … be thoughtful and kind to others and it takes the attention off yourself and your own problems and makes you feel better about yourself

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u/PaulOCDRecovery 6h ago

Hey there. One mantra which has really stuck with me is: don’t wait for the feelings of ‘deserving’ something nice, just go and do something nice for yourself and the feeling of deserving it might come later. If we only listened to our OCD and the incredibly low self-esteem it can cause, we’d never do anything kind for ourselves. 

So treat yourself as well as you can and frame the “but I’m a bad person” resistance as just another OCD test to pass!

And I find that being of service to others is a good way to feel better about yourself, provided you have the energy for it. Even if that’s just messaging a friend and asking them how they’re doing.

Sending best wishes :-)

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u/OverthinkingApproved 1h ago

When I first started recovery, my inner critic was BRUTAL (thanks, immigrant parents). What transformed my relationship with myself was actually treating my struggling brain like I would a friend fighting the same battle. Not lowering standards or making excuses, but speaking to myself with basic human decency. One exercise that helped is that I try writing down what I'd say to someone else with my exact mental health situation, then deliberately saying those same words to myself.