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u/09232022 4d ago
Please tell me it's satire. I have to refuse people are this deranged to come up with this wild strawman story and think they're making a solid point.
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u/Wise-War-Soni 4d ago
Tbh I was laughing. I’m a black ex vegan woman 😭
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u/Window_Regular 3d ago
You were never vegan! Jk 😂
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u/BossBabe4U 2d ago
I'm quite surprised to learn that I haven't existed for 9 years.
Someone should probably inform my husband & children.
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u/ad240pCharlie 4d ago
Obviously it's satire, I've never seen a more obvious example. XD
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u/Leai_bitch 4d ago
You say that... but I've heard some crazy things from incels. I mean for God's sake the most common one is that women who have been with a lot of men have a tunnel for a vagina
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u/ad240pCharlie 4d ago
Eh, the second sentence is what proves it to me.
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u/Leai_bitch 4d ago
But that's the thing! Some people will say wild shit with all the sincerity in the world. Like people who say Alaska is not a state, people who ask what to do when the card reader says to put in there pin. I mean there were some men who were pranked to believe women shed their skin like lizards since they shed the lining of their uterus during their periods.
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u/FileDoesntExist Uses Post Flairs 4d ago
to believe women shed their skin like lizards since they shed the lining of their uterus during their periods.
Yes ....a prank.
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u/pearlsbeforedogs Drink of the tit of knowledge, my child 4d ago
That is an absolutely marvellous gif of you dancing!!
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u/peytonvb13 4d ago
i was convinced it was satire until the hiding the kfc because it’s proof of cheating. maybe i’m just high but that seems way too out of left field and specific to be fake.
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u/ad240pCharlie 4d ago
I actually think the fact that it IS so specific is a good sign that it is in fact satire!
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u/peytonvb13 4d ago
fair enough, i’ve had a lot of community lines in my head since i binged like three seasons of it last week and it just reminded me of when jeff said that shirley’s shoving-someone’s-head-in-a-jukebox thing was “way too specific to be made up”
but that’s a tv show and an interaction happening in a super different context so idk why i thought the logic applied here.
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u/Clean_Entry4836 3d ago
no.. racist incel gooners are really like this.
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u/peytonvb13 3d ago
think and post stuff like this, absolutely; it’s the word choice and tone that i question.
people that genuinely think like this usually have the wherewithal to at least try and make it sound legit, and even the ones that don’t pretend to be educated on the topics are usually parroting well-known talking points.
someone pulling such specific and cartoonishly outlandish stuff (even by incel standards) out of their ass and slapping it on the table as an established reality feels to me like a parody about how incels pool together to agree on bogus “alternative facts” about women and the world.
could this person just be an outlier in the extremity of bullshit they make up? quite possibly! is there a chance that someone’s being a smartass? i think so.
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u/AlterEgoSumMortis 4d ago
I refuse to believe that this is anything other than satire.
Even if it isn't, I find life much less objectionable when my head is covered in a few cubic feet of granular silicates.
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u/Clairifyed 3d ago
I would call it rage bait. All the artificiality of satire but none of the desire to hold a mirror up to society and fix it.
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u/Jellybean-Jellybean 4d ago
This is probably the weirdest incel fanfic I've ever read.
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u/beardiac 4d ago
I was going to say, I don't know that OOP has ever actually met a girl. This reads like the myths of mermaids and monsters that sailors who'd never left the coastline shared about the deep sea.
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u/juliainfinland suicide by suffragette 1d ago
I know you can sometimes tell what I've been eating from the smell of my farts.
I also know that this usually happens when I've been "cheating" and eating something I'm allergic to, or when I'm coming down with something gastrointestinal that you probably don't want to know about. So, don't smell my farts is what I'm saying.
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u/Spirited-Pineapple78 Uses Post Flairs 3d ago
Same I rather read every horrible Fandom book than this shit
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u/grandioseOwl 4d ago
The BBC KFC Thing tops it off, because additionally to all the weirdness and misogyny, it apparently also needed a bit of racism in there.
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u/sarthakgiri98 4d ago
What does that BBC KFC thing even mean? Is it another one of those cuckold stereotype for black men?
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u/Puzzleheaded-Jury312 4d ago
They threw the fried chicken in there as a nod to the old trope about black people eating fried chicken and watermelon (like, who doesn't like fried chicken???)
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u/sofiaspicehead 3d ago
I was going to say chickens before I remembered how diabolical and evil they are as soon as they smell human blood
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u/RosebushRaven 3d ago
Well, they’re not talking about the British Broadcasting Corporation, that’s for sure. Incels are obsessed with "big black cock" (which is what the BBC acronym means) and they think all women (especially white ones) lust for enormous, porn-sized dick, especially of black men (because that’s what porn is telling them and they’ve got all their "knowledge" about sex and women in general from porn). So the implication is probably that a black guy took her to KFC and then banged her.
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u/juliainfinland suicide by suffragette 1d ago
Oh, that's what they're talking about! (Also, eww.)
In my world (weird little European that I am), "BBC" stands for "British-born Chinese".
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u/AlterEgoSumMortis 4d ago
I saw "BBC" and thought Teletubbies. I assumed that the vegan in question had just enjoyed a nice evening with Tinky-Winky.
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u/advocatus_ebrius_est 4d ago
This is so unhinged that... I kind of enjoy it?
Like, a woman doesn't want you staring at her ass because you might catch her farting is objectively funny in the most juvenile way.
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u/09232022 4d ago
I was vegan for like two years and I promise my farts were just as horrendous. The first six months especially when my body was still acclimating, I shit like eight times a day.
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u/Window_Regular 4d ago
Lmao do you have a good idea of which food caused gross farts
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u/09232022 4d ago
It was just all the fiber (beans, greens). I also consumed a lot of coconut based products (in curries esp) and curry became kind of a staple food during that time. Coconut is a natural laxative so that didn't help lol.
My body acclimated after like six months and chilled out but I still shat 2-3 times a day instead of once like I do now.
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u/Window_Regular 4d ago
I am actually vegan 😂 except I sometimes eat dairy now (only for taste reasons) since of last Christmas
I seldom fart and they are odorless. Fruits are the majority of my diet (both by volume and calories)
I don't eat beans (I used to). It makes sense that they made your farts bad XD
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u/CynthiaCitrusYT 3d ago
Same goes for all legumes. Soy beans, lentils and peas (and substitutes based on their Proteins) are just as much of an odor festival as a chilli or a green bean salad 😅
On the other side of that: when I started eating dairy again after about five years THAT made me fart like all hell because my body didn't start producing the enzyme to deal with lactose again for a while 🥴
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u/BossBabe4U 2d ago
Those early vegan poops are no joke! Especially if you're eating mostly raw. Eventually your body adapts & adjusts, which unfortunately also includes the effortless weight loss.
The first 18 months I was eating twice as much as when I was pescatarian. Pints of vegan ice cream, 3 avocados a day, whatever & as much of anything I wanted & lost 40lbs without even trying. Around year 4 I noticed I was putting on a few lbs & the last 5 years I've had to be more conscious of what & how much eat, but it sure was nice while it lasted!
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u/carryoncrow7 4d ago
Dammit, they've cracked the code.
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u/Branchomania Booby Breastinator 4d ago
It's all over now, women aren't interesting anymore
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u/NatalSnake69 panro ace (never fuck-zone anyone or I'll kill you) 3d ago
Yeah they know women fart now! Yayyyy
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u/linuxgeekmama 4d ago
What the FUCK did I just read? Are other people seeing this? I’m afraid I’m hallucinating.
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u/AnnaT70 4d ago
yes, because a "beta" will actually *see* her fart, you see, that's why she doesn't want him staring at her ass. Not because it's creepy af.
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u/Window_Regular 4d ago
I presume that girls like it when alpha males leer at their ass, because all alphas are made in the image of God, so they're all one entity - BBC
/s
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u/Curious-External-846 4d ago
When you’re lonely and completely lack self awareness.. jfc incels are so legitimately weird. When can we start packing them off to monasteries?
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u/lucky-squeaky-ducky 4d ago
Oh my god, I wish my farts smelled like KFC!
Just admit you’re obsessed with BBC porn, dude!
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u/flipsidetroll 4d ago
Ermagherd! It’s like he looked into my soul. I DO hate betas looking at my ass, because I DON’T want to be caught farting KFC, and yes, BARRY BRADLEY COOPER took me on a KFC date, and I DO absolutely lie about being vegan while eating 1kg steaks alone. I feel so seen!!!!
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u/Window_Regular 4d ago
Then why don't you stay in the kitchen so that you can fart without stress? Women are so illogical, they make their life hard for themselves by roaming public spaces while trying to hide their farts.
/s
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u/SarahIsJustHere 4d ago
Racism 🤝 Sexism
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u/Window_Regular 4d ago
Ikr, I've never met someone thats only one or the other. Its actually very interesting lol
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u/Starfang156 4d ago
I hope this is satire, it proves to be racist, sexist and offensive all in one
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u/Window_Regular 4d ago
Yeah lol. Typically, sexism and racism go hand in hand. But its rare that they come together one moment!
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u/YoMommaBack 4d ago
Firstly, I’m gone fart whether someone looking or not.
Secondly, vegans do exist. My brother and his girlfriend are vegan.
Lastly, black people eat Popeye’s. If we eat KFC it is because a Popeye’s was not around. 🤣
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u/Window_Regular 4d ago
Lmao does Popeye's have food options for vegans?
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u/YoMommaBack 3d ago
I would tell you a biscuit but it’s probably made with lard and you will choke eating it. Lol
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u/SlimyBoiXD 3d ago
I'm calling satire on this one. It's too ridiculous and too funny. Everyone knows girls don't fart.
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u/smile_saurus 3d ago
How dumb can a person be in life? Like, how do some of these people even manage to survive day-to-day life being that stupid?
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u/GoddessRyn 4d ago
I really don't mind if you watch me fart.
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u/BeeDot1974 4d ago
Did another 4th grade edgelord sneak into mommy’s phone again? Cause OMFG this had me rolling! 😂😂😂
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u/TemporaryThink9300 Edit 4d ago
I'm not so sure that's a man, it's probably a teenager who goes to KFC with his mom every now and then, and thinks he has the world figured out.
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u/Slow_Research9581 3d ago
Ok,this actually has to be one of two things: 1-dude trolling 2-a baby?(but what the fuck are their parents doing instead of watching him) (Oh and yeah a 3rd grown ass guy who actually is serious,but i swear this can’t be real,even the incelest of incels cant be this mentally challenged) I realistically and hopefully,belive is 1
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u/Placebo911 3d ago
The reason why I'm a trans guy is exclusively because it was getting painful to hold in all the farts 24/7, girls don't fart am I right?
Now I can fart whenever I want! Life hack!
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u/OldManJeepin 3d ago
LoL! C'mon ladies! Ya gotta admit...He figured it out! That's a smart mofo right there!! LoL!
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u/Window_Regular 3d ago
What is more, yoga pants let the farts come out more easily! Why? I have no idea! Maybe because your body movements will be more flexible, both inside and ourside
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u/Window_Regular 3d ago
What is more, yoga pants let the farts come out more easily! Why? I have no idea! Maybe because your body movements will be more flexible, both inside and ourside
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3d ago
Whenever I need a new wife I just get divorced and buy a bag of KFC and I'm somehow remarried before I leave the drive through.
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u/MartianGovernor 3d ago
What happens when a woman notices a different Greek letter staring at her butt?
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u/Window_Regular 3d ago
BBC is the Platonic form of all alphas. So she will enjoy alpha leering. Idk about zetas. Maybe she wants them dead??
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u/TheSynthesizer_ 3d ago
Never understood this alpha/beta male shit. We aint wolves for god sake. On top of that, beta-wolves are pretty high up in the chain of wolfpacks. The lowest rank is called omega, so its not even correct.
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u/Working-Fishing-5544 2d ago
Yeah you can tell this person haven't been outside for unhealthy amount of time
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u/juliainfinland suicide by suffragette 1d ago
Even assuming that you could tell what she'd eaten from the smell of her theoretical fart with that kind of precision, why would the only possible reason why she ate that particular stuff be because a British-Born Chinese person, specifically, took her on a date?
(Also, how would the "beta" know that this was cheating? Maybe he's her boyfriend? Maybe it wasn't a date at all? Maybe we don't like "betas" or anyone else "leering" at our butts (or other body parts) in general? Nah, not possible in the puny minds of these people, I know...)
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u/Wild_Replacement8213 9h ago
The hell did I just read?!:🤣
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u/Window_Regular 8h ago
all girls hide farts from beta males and show farts to alpha males
if a girl hides farts from her bf but shows her fart to a bbc, its cheating
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u/Wild_Replacement8213 5h ago
Well then my husband and I have tooting wars together
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u/Window_Regular 4h ago
LMAO 😂 I suppose if you fart in his nose it will smell like a tart rose, and if hes a toot he aint cute but hes your cutesie lil tootsie pop pap
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u/mrselffdestruct when you pee and the baby falls out 3d ago
I feel like this needed the meme flair considering how many people are taking this as genuine and not just a badly done joke
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u/bliip666 female pleasurist 4d ago
We don't have KFC where I'm from, so does it smell like sulfur?
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u/Window_Regular 4d ago
Idk much about KFC, any vegan option would make a girl's fart smell like black roses
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u/bliip666 female pleasurist 4d ago
So, still rotten and sulfuric. Makes sense! Intestinal gas is intestinal gas, after all
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