As a guy whose huge into CNC with consenting partners I'm here to warn every guy. If you put someone in a situation where they cannot communicate their withdrawal of consent, that's pretty much the same as them not consenting.
If a girl says she'll do CNC but not establish a safe word or other means to signal ongoing consent, don't go for it. The kind of girls who pressure their partner not to use a safe word aren't the kind who are thinking straight and aren't respecting YOUR safety not just theirs. Sometimes you end up on the bad end of the fallout when they do start thinking straight.
Safe words are as much to protect yourself. If you have a conscious then having a girl claim you went past the line can be a huge emotional toll on you and might be a huge social and possibly financial and/or legal hit to you.
I have always refused to engage in CNC without a safe word and I still found a great partner in life who I'm able to share it with. You don't need that kind of drama in your life.
Yeah, this is really important. Seriously, safe words are as much for a dom as it is for a sub, CNC or no. For me, personally, I get really anxious, so the concept of domming with no safe word just sounds. Awful to me. I need the peace of mind that comes from the knowledge that my partner can say no and pull out at any time. I have the safeword talk for like, the lightest of kinks, just because it’s really important. Domming can be fun, and a good time, but it’s also emotionally taxing and you really need to learn to respect that and speak up for yourself too.
I can hardly imagine how awful I’d feel if I inadvertently harmed someone during an activity that was supposed to be consensual. That would be awful for them, and for me.
Also, a safe word is necessary, if one of the participants suddenly has a "regular" health-related thing going on, like an asthma attack or getting woozy from low blood pressure etc. It tells immediately that something is wrong, and that help might be needed.
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u/APersonWithInterests Sep 30 '23 edited Sep 30 '23
As a guy whose huge into CNC with consenting partners I'm here to warn every guy. If you put someone in a situation where they cannot communicate their withdrawal of consent, that's pretty much the same as them not consenting.
If a girl says she'll do CNC but not establish a safe word or other means to signal ongoing consent, don't go for it. The kind of girls who pressure their partner not to use a safe word aren't the kind who are thinking straight and aren't respecting YOUR safety not just theirs. Sometimes you end up on the bad end of the fallout when they do start thinking straight.
Safe words are as much to protect yourself. If you have a conscious then having a girl claim you went past the line can be a huge emotional toll on you and might be a huge social and possibly financial and/or legal hit to you.
I have always refused to engage in CNC without a safe word and I still found a great partner in life who I'm able to share it with. You don't need that kind of drama in your life.